My Weekend Crush

You know what, Rosie deserves this. She looks great. She obviously feels great. She’s doing just generally great since escaping the United States. Truly, good for her. I know when she first fled I was kinda disappointed. But Rosie, and her decades-long feud with That Orange Turd, had pretty legitimate fears. And, and I cannot emphasize this enough, she was right about him ALL ALONG. I think Rosie has more than earned her flowers at this point. She got turned into a national punchline by too many for simply being a successful woman who wasn’t a Size 0 – and that was before the whole, and she’s also a big ol’ lesbo stuff. I know I’ve been a little uncharitable in the past as well. I think with fresh eyes her legacy as that other out lesbian daytime TV talk show host becomes much clearer. Please accept all these flowers as an apology for any antipathy in the past. Live your best life, and thanks for trying to warn everyone. Happy last weekend of Pride, all.

Just Rosie

Right, so maybe I owe Rosie an apology. Because when she fled the country at the start of Trump’s term, it felt a bit like an abandonment. And, of course, it was only possible through no small amount of privilege. But, damn, if she didn’t precisely predict exactly how unhinged that Orange Turd would become. Because, like can you imagine if truly any other President of the United States – Republican or Democratic – declared that lesbian comedian and actress Rosie O’Donnell was a “threat to humanity” and then threatened to revoke her citizenship. Like, setting aside the fact that no president can single out individual native born citizens and take away their citizenship just because he doesn’t like them, this is just such petty bullshit from the so-called Most Powerful Man in the World. Don’t worry, I’m well aware that harassing a former daytime talk show host is on the lower level of fucked up shit Trump has done in his second term. But still. The intentional lawlessness of all their actions and threats are straight out of the fascist playbook. I just know 77 million people did vote for this. So I wonder, are they cheering or just not paying attention. Or somehow both?

I know attacking a lesbian comedian might seem just silly. But it follows his continued assault on LGBTQ+ identity and rights. The banning of trans existence has been one of this administration's cornerstone policies. Kicking out trans service members. Refusing to use correct gender markers for trans and nonbinary citizens on passports and other federal documents. Subpoenaing medical centers that dare to provide youth gender affirming care. Erasing the “T,” and even at least some of the “B” from the Stonewall National Monument website. wonder if the so-called Log Cabin Republicans will ever feel ashamed. Or if our so-called allies who still voted for him because of the price of eggs will ever feel stupid.

Anyway, sorry, Rosie. You were right. Would that we could all get the fuck out.

Not So Rosie

Last week Rosie O’Donnell posted about her escape from America to Ireland. So now that’s two of our prominent queer celebrities, Rosie and Ellen (so celesbians to be specific), who have fled the country rather than live through Trump 2.0. And, while I 100% get the inclination to get the fuck outta Dodge – like, believe me, it has crossed my mind more than a few times – I also take some issue with our out public figures throwing up their hands and retreating into their privilege.

Because here’s the thing, the rest of us don’t really have that luxury. The rest of us are stuck here. And it is then up to the rest of us to both survive and try to fight for a better future.

I particularly take issue with Rosie saying:

“When you know it is safe for all citizens to have equal rights there in America, that’s when we will consider coming back.”

Uh, so when other people have put in the hard work, rolled up their sleeves, taken to the streets, made sacrifices, risked their safety and put up a real resistance (no, not you establishment Senate Dems – the fuck with voting to pass the GOP spending bill), she is waiting until the dust settles and the fighting is over to come back? Cool.

When those with the most resources and potential power leave instead of joining the fight, it’s discouraging. And while I certainly get it, again – I’ve certainly entertained the idea and done a google search or two – it doesn’t feel great for those of us to have resigned ourselves to the struggle. And, yes, I know that Orange Turd and Rosie have history, and I put nothing past his vengeance campaign. But also nothing changes unless we do something, nothing changes unless we work for it, nothing changes unless we fight for it. Pride has always been a riot, and don’t you fucking forget it.

Pride Is a (Laugh) Riot

Remember when I said it’s important to celebrate our histories? Like yesterday? Well, here’s a chance to celebrate the funniest part of our LGBTQ+ history, our comics. Netflix’s new documentary “Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution” bills itself as the first feature-length documentary to showcase queer stand-up history. We can all remember the out comics who were brave (and crazy – to quote Melissa) enough to make their sexual orientation part of the joke, instead of the butt of their jokes from the start of their careers. And we can also honor the comics who hit it big, and then came out later at the risk of steep personal costs. Whatever path they took to being authentically themselves, they made comedy out of what for so many could just be tragedy. Today’s comics stand on the shoulders of those who came before, who blazed trails that needed to be blazed. To be fully ourselves we need to be part of every corner of our culture because – I got news for you, you sorry sad homophobes, we’re already there. So here’s to the very funny folks who helped to make the world laugh with us, instead of at us. Pride started as a riot, and can continue as a laugh riot.

Pride Vacation Vixens: Leisha, Kim, Rosie & Co.

Hey, kittens, I’m actually away at a conference and will be traveling for the next few days. But at least I’m going to a cool city. And might get to see some oldie, but very goodie, friends. (Follow along on my Instagram, perhaps). But you know I never leave y’all hanging, I will be leaving you with some special Pride Vacation Vixens. Am I overdoing it on the Pride talk? Please. Major corporations are pulling back on their Pride support after last year’s Right Wing backlash (Reminder: Rainbow Capitalists aren’t your real friends). We gotta be Extra Gay to make up the difference. Anyway, I thought I’d post the most lesbian picture I’ve seen in a while. And, so, here it is. That’s Leisha Hailey and her girlfriend Kim Dickens (of “Fear the Walking Dead” if you’re thinking to yourself right now, wait, how do I know her?) and Rosie O’Donnell and I don’t know who she is with but, uh, good for them both all together in courtside seats at the L.A. Spark game. As some might have said, they are so gay. (RIP Dana, 4Eva.)

Just Like Rosie

Well, isn’t this Rosie – as in Rosie O’Donnell is joining the cast of “And Just Like That” for the reboot’s third season. It’s interesting to watch who Hollywood turns to as the Go To Lesbian. Rosie seems to be leading the pack, with roles on “The L Word: Generation Q” and “A League of Their Own” and, for those with slightly longer memories, “The Fosters.” I’ve noticed whenever a queer/queer-friendly show wants to bolster its bona fides they’ve brought in an out, established, visibly lesbian star. Rosie also gives shows just enough of a butch edge to not be too scary for the straight folks (though, if her hair in her AJLT set selfie is any indication, not terribly butch at all – though I think it’s maybe a wig ). Right now, really the only other actress competing for Go To Lesbian status is Lea DeLaria, who recently popped up in my beloved “Girls5Eva.” Rosie’s casting is also an obvious replacement for Sara Ramirez who left the show after two seasons. While I enjoy Sara’s work, I can’t say I’ll miss their character of Che too much on the show. Though I feel that’s more to do with how Che was written, and their awkwards dynamic with Miranda and the group. So, thoughts on Rosie joining Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and the rest? Honestly, it’s not a great show but I continue to watch out of displaced loyalty to all those hours spent watching SATC in my 20s – and none of them were even gay then!

Pre-L: Quiet Before the Storm (S3E9)

Well, seems this show about a letter has learned its lesson from Dana and will no longer kill off even moderately liked characters. (No comment on Jenny Schecter.) So Rosie O’Donnell isn’t dead, not on screen or in real life, and last week wasn’t the finale, not on screen or in real life. Apologies again for last week’s confusion, I blame it on post-holiday malaise and/or generalized life bullshit. This week’s episode starts with an unmistakable troll, showing us a hospital corridor and giving us all a tad of PTSD in the process. I see what you did there, show. Thank the Sapphic gods they didn’t play “You Are My Sunshine” over the scene, too. But there’s still one episode after this, so no non-death kudos just yet. But at least Bette & Tina are alive and well.

As always, MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. BIG. HUUUGE. So if you don’t want to know, don’t scroll. But you know you want to know. That’s why you’re here.

1. Honestly, I would watch a whole show about a middle-aged lesbian couple that takes in a stray gay youth who then becomes their House Boi. Seriously, get on that whatever streamer won’t cancel shows with lesbian content after one season.

2. Me, when I’m eating my healthy New Year’s resolution meals.

3. TiBette Supermoms is also a show I’d watch, like “The Fosters” but less about the annoying teenagers.

4. I get it, Shane. I also bought a pinky ring over the holidays thinking it would fix my whole life.

5. Alice remains a relatable queen, showing friends 200 photos of her cat with no plans of ever stopping.

6. Isn’t it crazy it took this many seasons to get a couple where both women had haircuts like this?

7. Ugh, can we just skip through the Alice being canceled storyline? After Lydia Tar, is there really anything left to say on the matter?

8. Modern queer relationships are 90% just sending each other TikToks, often while in the same room together snuggling.

9. Fine, Bisexual Evel Knievel is also a show I’d watch. Look, I’d watch a lot of shows.

10. First the candy in her purse. Then these glasses. Is Bette entering her Meemaw Era?

11. Classic Alice hijinks is classic.

12. Oh, Angie. Baby girl. No, baby girl. No.

13. Lesbian couples in their PJs binging “Grey’s Anatomy” is the representation we need and deserve.

14. End of game.

15. Oh, Tess. Baby girl. Also, sadly, no.

16. I mean, we all knew this was going to happen. Luckily we still love a woman in a uniform.

Scrap Cap:

I mean, there were literal and figurative fireworks, so how could I not?

Pre-L: “Quality Family Time” (S5E8)

So “The L Word: Generation Q” ends continues their third season with a “Q” word. And true to that form this season has felt like a transition, with the series leaning heavily on its next generation as the original cast faded more into the background – or completely off screen in many cases. The count of original cast members dwindled, so much so that we we’re only looking Very Shane Today in the season finale. But they also gave fitting conclusions to some of the Ghosts of L Word Past, including making amends for the Max debacle and Dana decision and last, but definitely not least, for making Tibette Endgame. Along the way, this show has managed to show a glorious spectrum of queer families – from those who raised us (for better or for worse) to our chosen families to the families we create out of nothing but our love and determination. Has it all been glorious? No, but I’m still thankful there’s space for a show that focuses entirely on our lives, even when it’s frustrating or dissapointing or batshit crazy. So, will we get another season of the women who long, love, lust? Good question, another one of those Q words.

1. Youths and their extreme scissoring.

2. Is this oat milk? It better be oat milk.

3. Gigi who? Kidding, but seriously, is she no longer on the show?

4. Does Lesiha get paid for this episode just for being on the phone?

5. I counted three edibles, so that turkey is gonna hit different.

6. I always thought Mary McCormack’s character from “In Plain Sight” should have been a lesbian. Now she’s a lesbian’s mom.

7. Oh no, not another throuple. (Kidding, they’d never invite that turkey…I’ll see myself out.)

8. Dani’s Thanksgiving plans win. No contest.

9. I still think it’s not a great idea to work at a bar as a recovering alcoholic, but at least Fin is dressing better.

10. They were just told if they get renewed for a fourth season it’ll be a murder mystery and one of them will end up dead in a pool.

11. Lesbian exes making bad decisions in real time.

11. As I was saying.

12. I wonder if they played musical chairs to see whose storyline would end in a cliffhanger. Well, at least it didn’t involve a pool, yet.

EDIT: Well, I don’t know why I thought this season had 8 episodes, but enjoy the cliffhanger anyway, sapphics.

Vacation Vixen: Rosie O’Donnell

Rosie, Rosie, Rosie. Once the Queen of Nice and the Ellen before there was Ellen, she was ahead of her time on everything. The first to publicly feud with Trump. The first lesbian (albeit closeted much of the time) with a wildly successful talk show. And now a butch icon. I only hope they give us more secret queer bar owner Vi in the (fingers crossed) second season. We can’t have the last we see if this silver fox be her being beaten by the cops. We just can’t.

There's Definitely Queers In Baseball

Finally, here’s a trailer I have absolutely no reservations about. Like, actually the opposite. How loud can I scream it from the rooftops? They’re taken “A League of Their Own” and made it — at least by all early appearances — properly gay. I know, FINALLY!

While the first teaser trailer got us all hot and bothered, the full trailer for the new Amazon Prime series based (loosely) on the movie by the same name has us positively erupting with excitement and, uh, other stuff. We finally get to see our new Rockford Peaches in action and, well, can it be Aug. 12 already? Please, pretty pretty please?

Also, not to laud my own gaydar or anything, but series creator/star Abbi Jacobson and “The Good Place” alum D’Arcy Carden are definitely gonna be a couple. Definitely. I mean, I could tell from the Intense Lesbian Eye Contact while sliding into home from the teaser they were gonna be a thing, but the continued Intense Lesbian Eye Contact and added Lesbian Hand Grazing in the trailer seals the deal. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m right about Rosie the lesbian bar owner. Yes, make it extra, extra gay!

I’m thrilled the new series (which follows the WWII era Peaches, but with a different set of characters than the iconic film) is much more inclusive and diverse. It’s about time they did more than just show one throw by Black female ball players of that time. And it’s equally time they aknowledged how queer a lot of these women were (and still are!).

I can’t wait to get some dirt in these skirts (which should be pants, but I digress). So, thoughts? At this point the only thing left is to start the pool about how many queer characters this show will end up having. I’m going with 4-5, but more is always appreciated. Play ball, Peaches!

Gender Fuck Rosie

A Rosie by any other name would be just as gay. And thank heavens for that. Rosie O’Donnell, sometimes forgotten as that other pioneering lesbian talk show host, is coming back to “A League of their Own.” The comic has a role in the new Amazon Prime series which reboots the movie premise with a new cast of players and, we’ve been promised, considerably more diversity and queerness. Rosie famously played third basewoman Doris Murphy in the 1992 movie.

In the new series she won’t be a player, at least not in that sense. Ahem. What? I like her in that suit — I’m always sucker for a lady in a suit, always. According to Entertainment Weekly, Rosie’s new character will be a local bar owner named Vi. She’s described as:

A "warm, gregarious" fan of the Rockford Peaches, Vi crosses paths with (Abbi) Jacobson's catcher Carson and soon welcomes her into her orbit.

I knew there was something to that look Abbi gave D'Arcy Carden as she slid into home. I KNEW it. Abbi, who co-created the series, is also bixesual and currently dating “Bomb Girls” alum Jodi Balfour. Also, how did I not know about this couple before I researched the new “A League of Their Own” series? Is the Lesbian Bat Signal not working or something?

Anyway, I can’t wait to see Rosie play a lesbian bar owner (what, reading between the lines here) who wears pinstrip suits. I reall can’t.

The Last Picture Show

OK, yes, so it’s one of those kind of weeks. But, good news, they’ve released new promo photos from “The L Word: Generation Q” season finale. And, as you can see, looks like we’re finally gonna get that Bette-Tina-Carrie tête-à-tête-à-tête – since there are three of them after all. Plus, do I sense an intervention? Finley is conspicuously absent from the big group sitting on the couch and looking concerned happening. Anyway, leave your best guesses about what’s going to go down in the comments. Since every telegraphed couple has reached their final destination (i.e. hooking up) the final reveals seem like they’ll be about what stage of the relationship everyone will end up in: married, doing it all over the house, on a break, on a permanent break. Oh, the possibilities when you’re those girls in tight dresses who drag with moustaches.

Those faces say, fuck, how did I end up on an episode of “Intervention?”

Behold the hand of concern on shoulder as evidence of the above.

Plus, this is the only shot of Finley for the episode. It’s either an intervention or she has joined the cast of “Only Murders in the Building” to replace tie-dye hoodie guy.

The only thing I feel confident in guessing is that this won’t be the show’s next thruple.

Nor this one. But couple? DEFINITELY. (I see you hand holding.)

Heart-to-heart in kitchen ware stores are always the deepest.

Are they gonna make Alice do the running-through-the-airport-getting-on-a-plane thing for Tom? Or is this the start of one of those anti-mask viral videos on airplanes?

Again, not another thruple.

This one’s for the Tibetters.

p.s. This is what has contributed to it being one of those kind of weeks. Sigh.

p.p.s. To make up for my lateness this week, Pre-L will be a full day early and post tomorrow morning. Please accept my screencap mea culpa.