My Weekend Presidential Crush

It’s hard to put into words what this election has meant to America. Yes, we fired Donald Trump in no uncertain terms. That asshole lost. And, no, it wasn’t even close. It only seemed close because it takes a long while to count all the votes, particularly the increase of mail-in votes because WE’RE IN A FUCKING RAGING PANDEMIC YOU ABSOLUTE SELFISH NON-SCIENCE BELIEVING MORONS. Not that I have strong feelings about that last part - or any part of the last four years. But more than 5 million Americans choose sanity and competence over unchecked hate, greed and dishonesty. So that is at least something.

The uninhibited and hard-earned joy we felt on Saturday, when the race was called, has since evolved into extreme relief and continued exhaustion. So much still must be fixed, even to get back to where we were let alone make real progress.

And then there’s the fact that so many millions upon millions of our fellow citizens still voted for that man. It’s beyond disheartening that nearly half of America saw Donald Trump and his racism, his sexism, his homophobia and transphobia, his corruption, his ineptitude and his pathological narcissism and said, “Yep, four more years of that, please and thank you.” And it’s just as disheartening that just about the entire Republican Party is indulging his vanity and vengeance with this “stealing” the election nonsense. It’s all lies, per usual, but they’re politically expedient lies and the GOP cares about holding power above all else and especially above helping people.

I know it won’t be easy these next four years. Heck, I know it will be pretty much hell these next two months and change as we watch That Orange Stain wallow and lash out. There is perhaps no one more accustomed to getting his way than Donald Trump. But now he’ll forever be an impeached one-term loser who let more than 240,000 Americans die and couldn’t even protect himself or his family from a deadly pandemic.

It’s sad to say that the relief I feel in us at very least ridding ourselves of this monstrous excuse for a human being has somewhat overshadowed the history this election represents. Vice President Kamala Harris. Madam Vice President. The first woman vice president, the first Black woman vice president, the first South Asian vice president. So many first we should be reveling in but instead we’re all just waiting for that hateful, grifting Oompa-Loompa to exit the Oval Office.

The duality of these emotions reminds me of 2008, when the elation of electing the first Black president was tempered by the passage of homophobic Prop. 8. One step forward, but also one step back. The arc of the moral universe is indeed long, and some days it feels like it just keeps getting longer. But at least we keep trying to bend it toward justice. Well, at least 77.5 million and counting of us are. Happy safe, healthy and righteous we’re gonna have a new president weekend, all.

p.s. It is just now dawning on me that I get to write Vice President Straight Bette Porter for the next four years. See, 2021 is definitely already looking up.

p.p.s. To the "Anonymous" dropping novels in the comments, no politician is perfect. Not Bernie. Not Liz. Not AOC. Not Obama. None of them. You vote for the best candidate with the best chance of winning and moving the government and society toward the goal of full equality and civil rights for all - especially the marginalized and the underrepresented. You have the audacity to call Kamala pure evil when Trump has been president for the last four years? Damn that Kool-Aid must be delicious. Has she made political decisions I disagree with? Sure. Every politician has. But if you want to write a novel about her being pure evil find another blog to haunt. And if you want to deny the science of the pandemic, well, I invite you to sincerely and with my full blessing kindly fuck right off forever. It's my personal blog, and your freedom of speech is not being infringed upon. Go start your own blog and write posts on it every day for 14 years. It's still a free country.

Christmas (Again) in November

Look, at least I waited until November to post holiday content. First "Happiest Season" and now Dolly does Christmas. I guess the movie gods are trying to help make up for the past four years of nothing but bah-humbug. And we could all use a little extra Christmas spirit right about now. (Or, of course, whatever holiday you celebrate that gives you the warm and fuzzies and possibly presents.) And Christmas plus Dolly Parton? Well, who knows maybe 2020 will have a strong finish after all. So, yeah, we deserve an early Christmas this year. And that’s a good thing.

Cookies & Equality

Well, after the week (this year, these last four fucking years) we’ve all had, I think we deserve a week of nothing but good things. Like really, really good things. Like cookies and love and did I mention cookies? I know that brands are not our friends. They’re brands and all they care about is making their brand money. But, again, when brands do make progressive statements it means as a country our collective consciousness registers those opinions as positive. In the past, they were controversial, but now they’re moneymakers. Capitalism, yo. But that, that’s still progress. And progress, like cookies, is always a good thing.

A Lesbian Little Christmas

Look, I spent the entire weekend (and then some) after about 8:30 a.m. Pacific Time Saturday morning drinking champagne, blasting “Fuck Donald Trump,” and intermittently crying about the fact that now, finally, we have a chance to maybe do a little good – or at bare minimum stop doing so many incredibly horrible things. Hearing them make the call was both a moment of total elation and exhausted relief. But, at least this past weekend, it was all about the joy. We’ve had to make our own these past four years. So if it feels a little bit like Christmas came early, well, there’s a reason.

And, it also helped that the trailer for “The Happiest Season” dropped yesterday. It’s the first mainstream lesbian holiday rom-com to be released here in the states. (Yes, I know there have been indie holiday lesbian movies, but let’s be real they didn’t have Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis.) But I think what I like most about it, aside of course from seeing K-Stew and Yorkie as a couple, is how extraordinarily conventional it seems – from a rom-com standpoint.

A cute couple is going home for the holidays for the first time together, one gets advice from her sassy gay friend (Dan Levy, David Rose-ing himself through life with aplomb), they try to avoid spilling the beans about something to the clueless parents and an emotional and/or physical obstacle is presented for them to overcome. Granted, the obstacle here is coming out and not being honest about one’s sexuality. But they are even sight-gag jokes about her hiding in the closet. And hiding from the folks behind the door to your childhood bedroom? That’s practically wholesome.

So while the storyline perhaps feels a bit basic for those familiar with queer cinema over the years, I have to think that’s the point. Again, this is the first mainstream lesbian rom-com. And it stars perhaps the most famous out actress working right now, and also has a queer filmmaker/actress in Clea DuVall behind the camera. The idea is both mass appeal, and to give I think lesbian and bisexual women who’ve been yearning for their own cheesy (and I mean that in the best possible way) holiday rom-com to call their very own.

p.s. Don’t worry, I put “Happiest Season” in an entirely other Christmas-time category than The Queen of Lesbian Holiday Movies, “Carol.” There’s room in this world for both, and in fact, so many more. Bring on the holly and the jolly, but make it super gay.

Music Monday

Please enjoy this moment of grace and beauty courtesy Alicia Keys, Brandi Carlile and your votes. We did it. We really did. I'll have more to say this week. A lot more. But for now there is just music. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Remind yourself that there are still good things. The crunch of autumn leaves under foot. The warmth of a cat snug on your lap. The knowledge that no matter how the Electoral College ultimately plays out, more Americans voted for the kind, decent man than voted for the hateful, corrupt man – by the many millions. (And he's gonna win the stupid, racist, outdated Electoral College even, barring Trump cheating and other bullshit.) Still it’s hard to believe in good things in a year like this. But, guess what, love still exists despite – or perhaps in spite of – such intentional cruelty. Like, maybe between two professional athletes who happen to be tops in their respective games who also happen to be women and then happen to be in love and finally happen to decide they’re going to tie the knot despite – or perhaps in spite of – the ugliness of our current world. You know, like Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird getting engaged in a preemptive strike on the shittiness of 2020. Leave it to the lesbians to single-handedly try to turn this unrelentingly abysmal year around. You’re welcome, world. Have a safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all. And COUNT EVERY VOTE.

Like a Whisper

No, we did not get the loud, unmistakeable revolution we wanted. But all we need is a whisper. Please allow Tracy Chapman's first televised appearance in five years soothe you with its serene yet steely resolve. Finally, those tables might start to turn. Count every last vote.

ETA: The Late Night With Seth Meyers clip got taken down, so please enjoy the origial. Always good, always.

Count Every Last Vote

I know we all wanted a landslide. We wanted a total repudiation. We wanted to CRUSH HIM. But America is too irreparably divided and wilfully uninformed for landslides these days. And, quite frankly, too damn big. All we can hope is that when all the votes are counted (and we will count every last one) that more good people came out than people who willfully overlook and/or actually admire this man’s endless racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia and corruption. The truth is, we were always in for a storm. It was never going to be a cake walk, so now we must weather the wait for results.

Does it make me despair that it’s so close? Of course, of course it does. I keep wanting to believe in the overarching goodness of America. But the truth is there are a lot of terrible people here. A lot of racists and a lot of folks who don’t see racism as a dealbreaker as long as their stocks are high and taxes are low. Or folks who are, let’s be perfectly honest, truly deplorable and probably a little nuts. And a lot of them have guns because AMERICA.

In 2016 I came to grips with the fact that there will probably always be about 40-50 percent of the electorate who votes Republican no matter what - at least in my lifetime. Like Donald Trump did the political equivalent of shitting the bed and shooting people in the middle of the street and he might still win. I can’t explain it other than Americans see politics as a personal identity instead of a practical application of how they want the government to work. So, as with sports, they’ll continue cheering on a team even if it clearly sucks. Because it’s their team, and they don’t care what they do as long as they beat the other team. Has your life actually improved? No, but you made the other team cry so you consider it a win. What is wrong with us?

Because of that mindset there will always be about half of the country that votes against extending civil rights to all Americans. That votes against allowing women and anyone who can become pregnant from having full bodily autonomy. That votes against their own self interest and pocketbooks (‘cause we’re all gonna be billionaires one day, don’t ya know?) That votes for him despite him being impeached and bungling our pandemic response to the tune of 230,000 dead Americans. That votes to hurt other people because the cruelty is the point.

And you can clearly see how differently Democratic voters and Republican voters view election results. The Rs will take any win, no matter how small, and celebrate the victory. A win is a win, after all, and they will act like they have a mandate no matter if they won by one vote or one million (which, ha, because the GOP hasn't won seven of the last eight popular votes).

But we Ds want the big win for moral authority and are sad with anything smaller. That’s dumb. A win is a fucking win. Joe can (and should) still win. It is just that we live in a bonkers system where we all know Joe will win the popular vote by millions, but still dont know who will win the presidency for sure.

I think what it really illustrates is how actually low-stakes too many Americans see politics. They don’t see it as a way to help other people, or even improve their own lives. Perhaps they’ve been disillusioned by everything broken in our system. Or, more likely, too privileged to care. They only see elections as a scoresheet Win or Lose. And they always want the W.

This election is a reminder of how much work is left to be done in America. And why even if Joe and Kamala win, which I fervently hope and still believe they can do even as That Orange Stain tries to steal it in broad daylight, it will be a long hard road to finding our soul as a nation. The work to make this a less racist, less selfish, less hateful country will not be easy. And it was never going to be solved on Election Day alone.

In the end all we can do is have faith, count the votes and keep fighting. That or convince our Canadian friends they should adopt California.

Vote for Joe

While I cast my ballot two weeks ago, today I am voting for Joe Biden in my heart. And I’m voting for him in memory of my father. No, Joe wasn’t my first choice, or my second choice. Gosh, probably not even third. But I do think Joe can be reasoned with and when needed pushed to do the right thing. I think he realizes the critical importance of this moment. And I think he knows that mere moderation alone will not make things better after the unprecedented corruption, blind incompetence and outright evil we’ve all endured. I say this because I believe Joe is a man of character. And my father was a man of character. He was the kind of man who could be reasoned with. A man who also believed in helping other people. A man who believed in education, science and passing along knowledge.

One of the many reasons I’m still so sad about my father’s sudden passing 16 years ago (including that he never got to meet my wife), is that he never got to see Barack Obama become president. My father, a scientist, was of course a life-long Democrat. He voted for so many losing candidates. Carter. Mondale. Dukakis. He loathed Dubya with a passion. But, as a native New Yorker, he naturally loathed Donald Trump more. I guess the smallest of silver linings is he never lived to see That Orange Stain become president. My poor dad would have been apoplectic watching a man he considered the ultimate bullshit artist terrorize America like this.

So, no, Joe wasn’t my first choice. But over time, especially since the primaries, I’ve gone from begrudging to fully resolved in my vote. Today in my heart I have zero reservations about voting for him. I say this because I believe Joe is a decent and kind man. Like, again, my father. Now, it may not seem like saying someone is kind means a lot in the realm of presidential politics. But, to be honest, these days I just long for decency. After four years of our fellow citizens, our neighbors, and all too often even our families rabidly cheering on a man who has hurt countless people – ourselves included – we are all too familiar with the concept of cruelty for cruelty’s sake. I want to believe that people aren’t all bad, despite reality screaming otherwise at me endlessly each day.

From the guy down the street to the politicians in Congress to our Hatemonger in Chief, we are bombarded with the mean, spiteful, bigoted, irrational, greedy and unhinged underbelly of America. On Nov. 3, we will finally start to know whether that ugliness truly represents most Americans, or we can find a soul and the will to make ourselves better and treat one another with actual kindness. Yes, decency is on the ballot. And, yeah, I welcome having a kind man be president. I mean, it worked wonders having a kind father. So go vote for Joe, America. Do it for everyone, because we all deserve the kindness. I know my father would have thanked you for it. Vote Joe.

Vote for America.https://t.co/eoxT07uII9 pic.twitter.com/sBd51fgmln

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) October 14, 2020

Music Monday: Vote Edition

One day. One day and one vote and we can turn 2020 around for the better. One day and one vote and we can make America a kinder country again. One day and one vote and we can banish the worst president of the modern era from our lives forever. One day and one vote and we can make history. But it starts with that vote. Vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. Vote for Democrats up and down the ballot. Vote because America needs you to vote. Happy Election Eve, kittens. Now get out there and vote.

p.s. Oh, and since yesterday was my birthday if everyone would vote for Joe and Kamala tomorrow that would make my birthday wish come true this year.

My Vice Presidential Weekend Crush

This year has been more than a lot. This infernal year, this endless pandemic, this criminal administration. Through it all, in our struggle just to get through the day-to-day, we can lose sight of the history we are witnessing. Yes, all the horrible stuff we can’t look away from is history. The unprecedented corruption, cruelty and criminal negligence of Trump and all his enablers should go down in the history books as one of America’s darkest periods told in the same embarrassedly hushed tones as the Japanese internment camps, McCarthy era witch hunts and America’s original sins of chattel slavery and the genocide of Native Americans.

But, we don’t have to write just another shameful chapter on America’s history of racism, sexism, xenophobia, classism and ongoing exclusion. We can choose another path. We can choose to open doors instead. We can choose to make history in the best, most inclusive way possible. We can vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, and in doing so break the 232-year exclusive stranglehold of men on the presidency. Sure, it’s not the Main Event. But it’s a heartbeat away and that has never, not in the entire history of our country, happened before. Madame Vice President sounds pretty damn good to me.

But Kamala Harris would not just represent a victory for women. She would represent a victory for Black Americans, for Indian-Americans, for immigrants and first-generation Americans.

Think about how you felt when Barack Obama was elected that November night in 2008. That indescribable feeling when you know a country just made itself better. You may quibble over his policies, but you can’t reject the history the man made and the difference having him in the Oval Office made in how countless Americans now see themselves. They realized perhaps for the first time that they too could become president if only they worked hard and inspired people.

And with Kamala, the exact same thing could happen. It’s hard to dream when you haven’t shown what is possible. When I was a little kid I used to like to watch the Miss America beauty pageant (I know, don’t start, the ladies were pretty). But as an Asian-American kid watching this pageant every year I also knew inherently that I could never be Miss America because I’d never seen an Asian-American woman win the crowd (and in fact it took until 2001, long after I’d stopped watching, for that to happen).

Now, the vice presidency is much more important than Miss America. And the impact could be so much more important.

But, and this is an important but, it isn’t just that Kamala would be so many historic firsts. It is that Kamala is also eminently qualified, unquestionably brilliant and genuinely compassionate. Of course, that only makes sense. To be a first means to have overcome so many obstacles and navigated such an uncharted course for yourself, you’d have to be. No one who wasn’t all those things could accomplish these firsts.

And, look, it doesn’t hurt that Kamala Harris is indeed the Straight Bette Porter. Strong, smart, powerful and pretty darn good in the who face-body area. What? History can be sexy. Now, everyone go vote for Democrats up and down the ballots. Here’s to seeing these firsts happen in four days. Vote. Happy safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Lezzy High Edition

Wait? What is this? More good news? And it isn’t even Nov. 3 yet! And this news is, like yesterday’s, a bit like Big Gay Christmas came early this year - again. Tegan & Sara, everyone’s favorite queer singing twins, are turning their high school memoir into a comedy TV series being adapted by Clea DuVall, everyone's favorite gay conversion camp dropout. I know, it’s like your Baby Dyke self dreamed up a TV show with all her favorite people AND IT HAPPENED. The series is coming to Amazon’s IMBd TV and the adaptation based on their aptly named book “High School” is described as a coming-of-age story that follows the twin sisters as they navigate identities and sexuality separate from each other against the backdrop of 1990s grunge and rave culture. So, you know, count me in. And if the ladies who are eventually cast in the series happen to slip into some suits like Tegan, Sara or Clea, all the better.

Big Prom Energy

Well, here’s something extremely gay to look forward to past Nov. 3. I haven’t had the chance to see “The Prom” on Broadway for a myriad of reasons (and, uh, COVID-19 is keeping it dark until May 2021 at the very earliest because we haven’t had a chance to vote out that Orange Stain in the White House yet). But I know it’s the story of a small town Indiana lesbian who gets banned from bringing her girlfriend to the prom. Plus there was that Macy’s thanksgiving Day Parade kiss. Now luckily we’ll all be able to catch the show in the comfort of our homes this Dec. 11 on Netflix. It appears to be an all-singing, all-dancing spectacular, spectacular - like if “Mamma Mia!” and “Glee” had a baby directed by Ryan Murphy. And, you know, you can’t beat Meryl Streep going full diva. So mark your calendars and deploy your Tonys. It’s should be a night to remember, and you don't even have to rent a tux.

One Damn Week

One week. One. Week. ONE WEEK. ONE. DAMN. WEEK. We dropped out mail-in ballots off one week ago, and got confirmation they were accepted. Now, if you haven’t already, you have one week to get your ballot in. By mail. By drop-box. By early in-person voting. And in exactly one week at the polls. We can do this. We can get through one week. And then we can make it to Jan. 20. Just think about the joy of never, ever having to think about what Donald Trump is doing, saying or destroying again. Well, other than when they arrest him for all of his blatant criming. But, you know, one thing at a time. And, right now, that one thing is making it one week. Vote, kittens. Vote.

Music Monday: We Got Him Beat

Some Mondays, you just need a great beat. So please enjoy the socially distanced Go-Gos and their most welcome joyful earworm “We Got the Beat.” We sure do. Eight days. Keep the beat, and let’s beat that Orange Stain. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Lynda Carter, and her iconic portrayal of Wonder Woman, makes her a forever hero in my book. And while her public persona has always been delightful, she has taken a very appreciated political bent of late. And has also proven she can throw more than a little presidential shade. Truly, anyone who considers herself (their self or himself) a hero must speak out. These are not normal times and we are facing a not normal threat. When faced with a man so unabashedly and outwardly corrupt, racist, sexist and homophobic all good people must stand up and demand his defeat. So, thanks Lynda. I was already a fan, and now I feel even more validated in the hero worship. Happy safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Be a Lady Edition

While we’re talking about Cynthia Nixon, how about her performance of the Camille Rainville poem “Be a Lady.” So much of what women face in society is predicated on such absolute rubbish. Be sexy, but not too sexy. Be smart, but not too smart. Blah blah blah. It’s exhausting and, quite frankly, boring. Women, in all of our multitudes, are so much more than what the tiny minds of the patriarchy could ever envision. And while you’re at it, fuck their binary. Be a lady however you like.

Lesbian Storytime

So, over the last few weeks we’ve watched not one, but two high-profile new TV shows with queer female couples at their center. I’m talking about “Ratched” and “The Haunting of Bly Manor,” both on Netflix. Now, I can’t say either are necessarily great. I actually have pretty significant issues with both shows. But I am still glad I watched them both. The fact that we have two popular shows highlighting women in relationships with other women who aren’t just side characters but the main characters remains thrilling. Think back to the days when you waited for The Very Special Lesbian Episode to happen once every year or show, and you can’t help but appreciate the progress we’ve made.

Hands down the best thing about “Ratched” was getting to watch two out queer women play two queer women on screen. I can’t imagine what it must feel like, after a full career already, to be able to express one’s sexual orientation authentically on screen. Truly, it’s the strongest argument for watching “Ratched.” It’s other saving grave, amid the jumbled narrative and whiplash character development, is the candy apple beauty of the show’s costume and set design. Everything feels supersaturated and the colors pop off screen. And, of course, Sarah Paulson and Cynthia Nixon, as well as the rest of the cast, do their level best with the material they’ve been given. If only it lived up to their talent.

As for “The Haunting of Bly Manor,” hands down the best thing about the show is getting to finally add another adorable lesbian florist to our official canon. British actress Amelia Eve’s Jamie is like the melancholy yin to the upbeat yang of fellow British actress Lena Headey’s Luce. They make lovely green-thumbed lesbian bookends. But what I didn’t love about the series was [MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW AHEAD. MAJOR.] how it romanticized the Dead Lesbian Trope to a ghostly degree. Yes, Jamie and Dani’s love story was beautiful and haunting. And if we were only in it for another pretty sad story that would be fine. But, alas, we are still not quite at the point where our representation is so prevalent that we have the luxury of complete choice. Instead, we keep seeing the same often damaging stories arise, time and time again. Sadness, while part of life, shouldn’t be our dominant narrative on screen. Also, while I am complaining, I wasn’t thrilled that the chief haunting and reason for the cursed home is a feud between two sisters, complete with jealousy and vengefulness. Otherwise, it was a fairly stylish if at times messy haunted house story, with lesbians at its very center. And I do take heart that every generation of queer women has its tragic romance that it must fall in love with. I appreciate that “The Haunting of Bly Manor” will be that story for a whole new generation.

Original Equality

The Constitution didn't even recognize me as a human being when it was first ratified. So, no, I am not a Constitutional originalist. pic.twitter.com/my0SAeRjUw

— Mayor Lori Lightfoot (@chicagosmayor) October 13, 2020

Today is our second wedding anniversary. In celebration of two years of our legally recognized love we plan to bring our mail-in ballots to the official ballot drop-box. Voting is indeed the one thing that can turn around 2020. Will it fix everything automatically? Absolutely not. By the end of this week the Republicans will no doubt have voted through an illegitimate and politically biased nominee into an unabashedly stolen Supreme Court seat. The debate about “Originalism” when it comes to the Constitution sadly remains an abstract philosophy to too many who continue to not recognize their own privilege. But for any of us who aren’t wealthy straight cis-white men (and the people who rely on wealthy straight cis-white men for their status and protection – cough, cough, wealthy straight cis-white women, cough), the Constitution as it was originally written simply does not consider us people. It does not consider us equal with rights that are unalienable. And it does not consider us worthy of the full exercise of our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. So, no, we (including Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot and every other person of color, women, members of the LGBTQ community, et al) are not Originalists. But we are worthy of full equal rights – every last one of us. So vote for Democrats up and down the ballot. For Joe and Kamala. For Democratic governors and senators and congresspeople. For Democratic mayors and city council members and school board trustees. Vote for the one party capable of winning and bringing more people those unalienable rights. Vote. Our continued place in the Constitution depends on it.

Music Monday: Defy the GOP, Vote Edition

Not that you should need additional motivation to vote this year, of all hellish and apocalyptic years. But if you just needed a soundtrack, might I suggest the entire cast of Broadway’s “Wicked” – not to mention the show’s iconic emeritus stars Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel – serenading you as you get ready, make a plan and vote.