Oh, to be Eric Bana...

I'm not sure how I missed this news earlier, but it appears Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson will join forces to make your cinematic experience that much more beautiful. The two young, talented and smoking hot stars have signed to play sisters in the period piece, "The Other Boleyn Girl." They will portray the rival Boleyn sisters, Anne and Mary, who vie for the affections of King Henry VIII's (played by Bana, lucky bastard). With the benefit of history, we now know that Henry is not the best guy for a gal to, you know, lose her head about. Look for the film in theaters next year and dream about this exquisite pairing until then.

When Hypocrites Attack Part II

More Godless actions from the supposedly God-fearing. Mel Gibson, Mr. The Passion of the Christ himself, was arrested Friday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence in Malibu. When stopped, reports have alleged that he started spewing obscenities and anti-Semitic remarks. Sigh.

All that blather from him about his great true faith. All his finger-pointing at those without. Guess it's easy to lose your religion in the bottom of a bottle.

I think Mel Gibson has a great cinematic eye. You cannot deny his abilities in "Braveheart." But the hypocrisy of people like him drives me crazy.

Devil in a black dress

Ann Coulter is truly evil. Every time I see her on some show I want to hurl heavy objects at my television. And the worst part is that she seemingly never has to pay for the outrageous, hate-filled things she says.

I mean, this bottle-blond media whore is shameless. She will stoop so low as to attack the 9/11 widows, women whose husbands died in the terrorist attacks on our country. And I quote:

"These broads are millionaires, linked on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grievers. I have never seen people enjoying their husbands' death so much."

Today, on Hardball, she continued her line of attack on President Clinton and his supposed latent homosexuality. And then she called Al Gore a fag. No, seriously. You can watch it here (click on part 3). When Chris Matthews asked her is she really thought Bill Clinton was gay she said, and I quote:

"He may not be gay. But Al Gore, total fag."

She followed that up with a cackle and a "No, just kidding." Why is it always the ones who shout the loudest about their love of God who are really the most Godless?

What a great day to be gay

So, this is yesterday's new, but it's worth commenting on because I think it represents a good step forward for the glbt community. The more our celebrities come out, the less alone a teenage girl growing up in Kansas or a young man living in Georgia feels.

Lance told People:

"The thing is, I’m not ashamed – that’s the one thing I want to say. I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I’ve been my whole life. I'm just happy"

Good for him. I still think 'N Sync sucks. But I like Lance just a little bit more now. Oh, and I told you so.

Little Folksinger making a little one

Years ago, self-described Little Folksinger Ani DiFranco famously wrote a letter to the editor of Ms. magazine saying that she hoped her gravestone would read: "songwriter, musicmaker, storyteller, freak." Well, looks like she is going to have to add "mother" to that esteemed list.
Ani announced that she is expecting a little one February 2007, while accepting an award from the National Organization of Women this month. The father is music producer Mike Napolitano, who worked with Ani on her upcoming album "Reprieve."
Congratulations. Let's see how motherhood affects Ani's already deeply personal and penetrating lyrics.
"To split yourself in two, Is just the most radical thing you can do. - Ani DiFranco "Reprieve"

Color me Buffy

Buffy the Vampire Slayer may have dusted her last vampire in the live-action world, but she lives on to slay another day in the world of comics. Show creator Joss Whedon will continue the TV saga where it left off in a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic series. The continuing adventure of our favorite slayer will be published by Dark Horse Comics. The cover art will be officially unveiled this week at Comic-Con. Joss has said that the action will pick up where the finale ended, after Buffy and the Scooby Gang helped create a whole army of slayers to defeat the First. Can I get a "Hell(mouth), yeah!" I love comics, but I never really buy them. This time, I think I might make an exception. Check out the cover art by Georges Jeanty Jo Chen. Girl's been working out.

I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for ya

Oh. My God. This video made me laugh so hard this morning my coworkers looked at me funny from across the cubicles. Amy Sedaris was on The Colbert Report Monday and the interview seemed to be going along at a moderately amusing pace until the last two minutes. Wait for it. You'll thank me later.

Natalie Portman naked...Got your attention?

Looks like our favorite gamine of the moment Natalie Portman will finally shed the last bits of her inhibition, as well as her clothes, and go nude in her new movie "Goya's Ghost." Just when I've reassembled my head from it big Salma-Penelope sandwich explosion incident. Read about it in Page Six, or just dream about it for the rest of the day.

7/12/06 UPDATE: Well, boo. Turns out the nudeness will be accomplished with a body double. And, it's a nude torture scene. Geez, what the hell kind of movie is she shooting?

Guess who's back? Back again. Marina's back

Pity poor Jenny. Just when she was extracting herself from one terrible relationship (Mad Max and the Thunderdome of Tedium) comes news today that her No. 1 tormenter/seducer Marina will return to The L Word for season four.
This after show producers swore up and down that Marina was gone. Period. Nevermore. Oh well, better late than never.
In other L Word news, future guestbian and Bette love interest Marlee Matlin told the LA Daily News that she is nervous about joining the cast (new kid in school syndrome). Perhaps most interesting in the short bit, Jimmy Smits hearts the L Word. I bet you do, Jimmy. I bet you do.

Brokeback for lesbians...well, wishful thinking

Oh. My. That loud splat you heard was my head exploding. Pay it no mind. I'm sure it will grow back. I just saw these promo picture from the new film "Bandidas." Salma Hayek. Penelope Cruz. Enough said. It's hard to tell whether the film will be any good based on the trailer. Looks like it is supposed to be a comedic "Bad Girls" of sorts. But, oh, the lovely Spanish-languaged eye candy. Muy caliente.

Gays love a parade

L Word goddess Jennifer Beals came, saw and waved to all the hundreds of thousands of queers (plus the merely curious and possibly lost) folks gathered to celebrate San Francisco Gay Pride 2006. Though, possibly more fun than seeing Jennifer ride in an open convertible was seeing the brawny men in suits (out of picture) surrounding her car and keeping the rabid dykes away. Though, as far as I could tell, their services weren't needed...we behaved.

Another "star" sighting this pride -- former N'Syncer Lance Bass walking out of a Castro restaurant. Hmmmm. Very interesting, considering his "rumored" boyfriend Reichen Lehmkuhl was another celebrity guest in the parade. Lance, with a male companion, was spotted during the early part of the parade, wearing a green cap and trying to look incognito. No word on whether he made it down to Market Street to catch his fella waving to the crowd. Here's a hint, Lance, if you insist on keeping the closet door shut, perhaps best not to be on seen in the queerest city in America on its queerest street during its queerest weekend of the year. Just a suggestion.

It has reached epidemic proportions...

Yeah...so I really, really, really do not understand the bandana thing. But I am greatly concerned that the sickness is spreading. First Kanye. Now Justin. Seriously, Timberlake, are you a nattily dressed bank robber or just a fey germaphobe? Either way, it's a bad look. Very bad indeed.

Joss Whedon, Will You Marry Me?

Just in case you had any doubt, Joss Whedon is the coolest man on the face of the planet. Here he is receiving an award from the feminist group Equality Now, with his trademark wit and passion on display.

"Equality is not a concept, it is not something we should be striving for. It is a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women."

Go rent Buffy the Vampire Slayer now. You can thank me later.

Add Grand Marshal to Alpha Bette's Credentials

Jennifer Beals will grace the streets of San Francisco with her presence as Grand Marshal of the Gay Pride Parade this weekend. In an attempt not to drool on my keyboard, I will hold off from commenting on this topic until I can reform words. I just want to look at the pretty picture...

The Evolution of Ashlee

What the hell is up with Ashlee Simpson? It's like she's the star of her own secret reality series, called "Becoming...Jessica Simpson." I mean it, check out the photographic evidence. It's actually kind of sad. Now she looks like everyone else. Behold:

circa 2004

circa 2005

today

Holy homosexuals, Batman! Batwoman likes girls!

Well, well, well. Comics just got a whole lot more interesting. DC Comics confirmed today that Batwoman will make a comeback as a lesbian socialite who fights crime. See, we do have superpowers! Spread the word.

Batwoman - a.k.a. Kathy Kane - will return in July issue of a comic called 52. Her character will appear as a "lesbian socialite by night and a crime fighter by later in the night" who has a romantic ties with another 52 character, ex-police detective Renee Montoya.

All I can say is, damn, I'd love to get a peak at what she's packing inside that utility belt...ahem.

Cannes does Escher

OK, so this photo reminds me of those M.C. Escher paintings where its all topsy-turvy and at first everything is interconnected and then, if you tilt your head and squint, everything is unconnected.
For the record, this is actress Cate Blanchett at the Cannes Film festival. Lord only knows who all the arms belong to.

It is so much worse than we all suspected, yo

OK, so here it is, the Jodie Foster Rap. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.

Jodie...You'd better graduate, yo

I've harbored a crush on Jodie Foster since before I even knew she belonged to our team (or, perhaps my preadolescent gaydar was just that good). Anyway, here she is giving the commencement speech to the University of Pennsylvania Monday. Them Ivy Leaguers stick together (Jodie, Yale, class of '85). Apparently, she was critical of our current political situation in her speech.

"The U.S. 'squandered' the goodwill and sympathy other nations offered after the Sept. 11 terror attacks, Foster said. She also criticized officials for the 'disastrous and shameful' handling of Hurricane Katrina."

But then she ended it all by quoting the great scholar Eminem. The AP says it was the chorus from "Lose Yourself." Soooo, if this is correct we missed hearing Jodie say, "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo."

Yeah, I don't really get it either. But enjoy these shots of Ms. Foster in her cap-and-gowned cuteness.

Kanye goes Brokeback for bandanas

Sooooo... I dig Kanye West and all (even that inescapably catchy "Gold Digger" song despite my better, feminist instincts), but what's up with all the bandanas buddy? The above shot is him today on the Ellen Degeneres show. Please note the purple, purple, bandana.

Think I'm kidding about his latest fashion obsession. Oh, no. I'm not kidding. Take a look.

Well, I've done some research thanks to the site KanyeWest.org and have been able to trace this phenomena back to April 5, 2006 at a concert in Japan. Behold. Now, after even more research I was able to uncover the possible source for Kanye's cowboy chic phase. On April 4, 2006 the DVD for "Brokeback Mountain" was release. Coincidence? Yeah, I don't believe in them either.