Saturday, February 16, 2008

Pre-L: Lesbians Gone Wild

L507: “Lesbians Gone Wild”
Well, I hope all of your collective heart rates have returned to normal after the Tibette Carnival of Hotness (trademark pending) from last week. This week’s Pre-L is all about oil and oily situations. My advice, bring some Wet-Naps.

1. Giggling: The only appropriate way to react to Jenny’s dialogue.2. Meet Jenny Kent, the not-so mild-mannered Super Nut.3. Golf game. Single malt scotch. Officer’s club. Hello, Col. Homo.4. Open a thesaurus, search for synonyms for “View.”5. Is this really how Alice decided to wear her hair on national TV?6. Faux Hasselbeck got an upgrade. What? I’m observant.7. Bette makes her case to be the next Wonder Woman. I’m sold.8. Know your enemy.9. Fun gay?Angry Gay?Which will Alice choose?10. The gay that gets her on television, that’s which one. OK, can I just take a second to say that I truly, truly despise the personality transplant Mama Chaiken & Co. have given Alice this season. Who is this transgender hating, closeted military encouraging, famous person outing, televised fame hunting pod person in Alice’s body and how can we make her leave?11. Man, you could fit a football in that thing.12. I can’t believe Maxim cover girls eat all that crap either.13. Hey……jealousy.14. So, Jodi, how is it with Bette and you?15. More fun with math.++++=Lesson: Never snog at work.

16. Clearly not heeding the above lesson.17. You can almost see the wheels turning.18. Shane brings her A-game. Teacher gives it a D.19. I was wrong. So is this. Yeah, this can’t end well.20. Oh my God, Shane is the lesbian Fonz!21. Dawn Denbo and lover Cindi define the term “oily.”22. Kit know the ABC’s of revenge.23. Am I the only one who thinks this is gross and unsanitary?24. All of a sudden I love crazy Jenny.25. Now this is how Alice should have worn her hair for TV.26. Bring……it……on……bee-yotch!27. Occifer, I’m not as think as you drunk I am.29. Cut. Print. Creepy.

New Guestbian Count: 2
[Kelly McGillis as Colonel Gillian Davis; Danielle Kremeniuk as Lez Girls director of photograph Sam Makavejev]
Best Line: “I enjoy a man with confidence. Makes it all that much more enjoyable when I crush him.” -- Col. Davis
Best Question: “The internet, do we believe it?” -- “The Look” Topic of the Day
Best Way to Make Tibetters Cry: “No, no, no, no. Ex, ex, ex.” -- Tina to Sam when asked if Bette is her girlfriend
Weirdest Way To Respond To “I Love You”: “I’m going to give you a hickey.” -- Jenny to Niki

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks this is gross and unsanitary?

Yes...!

invisigoth said...

I WANNA, too!

Ahh, couldn't stay away from the throwdown pic! Damnit! But thank you for not revealing more than what most people already guessed. The element of doubt is gone, though. Well, fuck it, only two more days to go anyway.

Thank you, Dorothy!

Cindy said...

At least we had episode 506. In the end you never really know what IC and Co. is going to do, so I never get my hopes up regarding Bete and Tina. I honestly think they belong together and it would be nice to see a couple that actually stays together on the L Word.

The scene with Shane and Dawn is funny. I hope Shane puts her in her place - on the bottom! Ha-ha.

Thanks for the screen caps Ms Snarker!

heather! anne! said...

Gross and unsanitary? Double check.

slacker said...

Wanna? Thud! 'nuff said on that one.

I have to miss seeing this one when it airs. Thanks for helping fill that gap.

2m.mn.ml said...

You make me laugh every week (some times more than the actual scene)LOL!!! GOD YOU COMMENTS AND STILLS ARE AWESOME!!!!!!! I love them!

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

awesome pre-L as always. are you doing another one for tomorrow for the early air of episode 5.08?

rossi said...

fantastic blog my dear thank you
i would so love to see more of my real dyke role models up on the L word
can melissa etheridge sing one night at the planet
kdlang doing a remember dana breast cancer benefit
and oh
my heart and underware for a cameo from jodi foster as coach to jennys directing ability
ah i know its only a dream

Maggie said...

ahhh... I LOVE THIS BLOG!
Ur little captions are hilarious!!!
Thank you so much for posting it!!
xoxo

ohmie said...

Where did you get all of your pre-l word from...??? DO you have a special pyschi power?

ohmie said...

oh yeah and I love your blog.. I wish mine is as funny as yours..

Anonymous said...

What the hell is IC doing to our Alice!!?? Must she select a different character every year to ruin!! Bring back the real Alice and send this imposter packing ASAP!

Jain said...

Alice is an imposter only if you didn't know who Alice was to begin with.

The commentary isn't snarky or funny - more like pitiful - but the caps are somewhat decent.

Seriously, though - what the fuck is Bette doing to Jodi? Trying to rape Tina in season one wasn't enough for her?

Sheila said...

It is a dance we do in silence
laughing and breathing everything
L Word.

Hanging on to the slightest mention of anything remotely lesbian.

Me, myself I got nothing to loose
Laughing and laughing and then laughing some more.

Entertainment is endless in the vast and complex sea of the internet.

I glad to be alive here and now,
otherwise I would have missed it all.

In other word, those captions are fuckin' hilarious!
don't stop, don't stop, I'm cumming now!
I love this site.

skrailly said...

Truthfully, the last episode could have been the end of the series for me. Let our imagination takes us where it wishes. Tibette forever. Dana comes back to tell ALice she's being a dick and then Alice notices Jodi, seeing as Jodi has that need to dominate and ALice is a "pillow queen." or even let Alice look at Max in a different light, filling her bisexual needs. Shane and Jenny end up together in a very befitting, freakish turn of events. Helena and Dusty come back with dirt on Dawn Denbo and Lover Cindy that make them disappear. And the series ends with all the couples climaxing at the same time.
There, no more need for self-induced trauma served by Ilene.

Anonymous said...

Dorothy,

Since Our Chart will be showing Episode 8 tomorrow, will you Pre-L that episode before tomorrow. Say, yes, pretty please. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, tibette forever!
The Dean is a sociopath.
She is manipulative, destructive, lacks insight, is thin-skinned, and has zero sense of humour.

Of course she is only able to succeed as a sociopath because she is so attractive - it's rare to be seduced by an ugly grouch. But the beauty is truly only skin deep and this person has only two modes out in the world: an abrasive "gimme" or a Daddy's girl "I want". The glitter is obsidian.

Natch the people around her get more than they deserve in the pain department; the Dean will not let go of a bone that she feels is hers and is obviously prepared to continue being more devious than necessary to achieve her own gratification. Why not be honest with the main squeeze? Not this emotional child. Let your main squeeze resign to save your professional skin? Not a great look even when a relationship is firm, but to remain silent about an affair at the same time?

Creepy lady. Calling her flawed is being extremely kind.
Spoiled brat is about the size of it and that kind of person grows up reallllly slow.

The ex-who-is-on-a-bungy-strap doesn't help. Copping out with "I haven't decided what I want" and then continuing to play sexy games is a big green light to a sociopath every time. Is the audience supposed to see the character of the producer as one that is growing in sexual confidence or what?

So yes, tibette forever. They deserve each other.

Can everybody get over it now that the marrieds are back in the sack?

More hairdresser schtick please. It's the best source of lines - after the fabulous fabulous straight woman of colour dealing ratlines to the Miami pirates.

Thanks to our host for keeping the game a little more interesting than just turning on the teev each week!

Loverbunny said...

I just watched episode 7 on sidereel.com. Your comments are crazy hilarious!

Gab said...

does anyone know where i can download full free episodes of season 5?

Jaz said...

Hi! Can you just let us know if you already have the screeners up to ep 12?
Thanks

Gina said...

Yes, the same two things stuck me about this episode: Bette's freaky ass Joan Crawford 'fro and the fact that I suddenly love Jenny.