Walking With a Ghost Hacker/Stalker

Uh, how fucked up is this? Remember when I said Tegan & Sara were part of a documentary that chronicles their years-long ordeal with a stalker/hacker who catfished their fans and generally made their lives hell? Well now, you can watch it starting Friday on Hulu. What a crazy, scary and definitely not cool thing to have happen to one of the most iconic lesbian musical acts out there, and their fans. Fandom is so interesting in the first place, but for someone to fully create a Fake Tegan persona and then proceed to catfish many, many fans and more for YEARS. Wow. That is some truly, truly deranged dedication. And talk about the ultimate disaster scenario in the annals of parasocial fan relationships. I don’t know if they ever get justice or find Fake Tegan (like, wow, did they keep this whole horrid ordeal under wraps – understandably), but I do know I’ll be double-checking all my password strengths and two-factor authentications.

Good Canadians, Bad Fish

Well, this is disturbing. I had no idea that Tegan and Sara were victims of catfishing. Or that it would ripple out to hurt their fans. How horrible and fascinating. I mean, more horrible than fascinating. But you’d better believe I will be watching their new Hulu documentary “Fanatical: The Catfishing of Tegan and Sara” this fall.

I hadn’t heard that Tegan’s identity was stolen in 2011. I thought it was maybe because I just wasn’t paying enough attention to everyone’s favorite queer twins. But, no, they confirmed it was “the biggest story we never shared.” So, don’t feel bad if you’re surprised like me. I am just sad it happened to them at all. I mean, they’re even Canadians. You do this to the nicest, most polite people on Earth?

Also, while we’re talking about our indie icons – don’t forget that if you have an Amazon Prime subscription you can watch their excellent series “High School,” based on their memoir by the same name, for free on Freevee. I mean, you gotta watch something while you wait for Oct. 18, right?

My Weekend (High School) Crush

Sometimes you go into a show without any expectations and you leave feeling energized by the evocative power of a simple story told exceptionally well. “High School” is that rare series that draws you in through its sheer relatability, making it feel like a slice of your own life is being told even if you don’t grow up to be part of one of the most influential queer duos in music history. Based on the memoir by the same name by Canadian wonder twins Tegan and Sara, this sweet and unhurried story is sure to melt even the most cynical Gen Xers heart.

Now, perhaps I can relate so hard because this falls right into my generational sweet spot. But truly anyone with a firm memory of the 90s should feel instantly transported back to the era of flannel shirts, combat boots and perma scowls. Plus, if you’ve ever had a fraught relationship with a sibling growing up, you’ll recognize the push-pull that simmers under the surface between you and the person you’re probably closest to in the world, but also sometimes hate with every last fiber in your body.

What “High School” also does exceptionally well is capture the claustrophobia of being a closeted teen in the 90s. The ethereal thrill of like-liking someone for the first time. The stomach-churning panic of discovery because no one can know the person you like-like is a girl. The rush of your first queer crush is depicted in a way that is at once so specific yet also universal. We can all relate to the language of longing, but LGBTQ+ people especially will be transported back to the furtive thrill of first love.

Now, remember, this was before Ellen told the whole world, “Yep, I’m gay.” Before rainbow merch was easy to buy at Target. And before anyone running for president would even consider supporting same-sex marriage.

Now, I shouldn’t really have been surprised that “High School” is so good. The show was created by Clea DuVall (who is countless queer women’s root thanks to ber “But I’m a Cheerleader” days) along with Tegan and Sara with fellow writer Laura Kittrell (“Insecure,” “Black Monday”) and director Rebecca Asher (“Frankie & Grace,” “Raising Hope”). They’ve picked two very talented actresses in newcomers Railey and Seazynn Gililand who will instantly transport you back to the feeling of being a teenager again — for better or for worse.

Truly the only downside is this show is on the ridiculously named free streamer Freevee which most people don’t even know if they have, let alone ever heard of. (But, good news if you have Amazon Prime you already have it.)

The eight-episode series excels at depicting the angsty longing that was the hallmark of coming of age in the Grunge era. You’d also expect a show from two musicians to have an impeccably curated 90s soundtrack and “High School” delivers the mix tape of your dreams. Honestly, after watching the show, I’d recommend letting it play again in the background and letting the music wash over you like sonic nostalgia. (It also helps that the show spends a lot of time showing, less time telling and even less time talkings. It’s all 90s vibes, no filler.)

You can tell DuVall and her team have a deep respect for “My So-Called Life,” the one-season wonder of the mid-90s remains the gold standard for teenage coming of age shows. Like MSCL, “High School” excels at capturing the awkward searching of your teenage years while also offering a more rounded view that realizes these teenagers aren’t the only people on the planet. Also like MSCL, the show’s parents are given more to do than pour orange juice and ask when the kids will be home tonight. But then with Cobie Smulders playing their mother, how could they not. As she studies for her social work degree, her character Simone has her own career and stresses and dreams (including those of escape from it all, including her family).

In perhaps the show’s biggest hat tip to MSCL, in the pilot episode one of the characters invites the twins to a party by saying, “It’s gonna be the time of your life. Or at least a time of your life.” Those with great 90s memories will remember in the pilot episode of MSCL, Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie try to get into a club but end up drinking in the parking lot instead and are hit on by older guys who definitely should not be hitting on teenagers. The next day, Rayanne recounts the Very Big Adventure by saying, “I'm telling you! We had a time. Didn't we. Didn't we have a time.”

You will have a time with “High School,” you really will. Happy weekend, all.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Twin TV

Looks like some of us will definitely be reliving our high school experiences very soon — well, minus the whole then becoming international rock stars thing. The TV show based on Tegan & Sara’s memoir by the same name (and produced by Clea DuVall) is coming to Amazon’s Freevee (in the running for worst streaming service name, in deep competition with Tubi) now has a trailer. It’s filled with all the 90s angst and closeted drama any former Gen X youth will instantly recognize. I haven’t read the memoir, so the eight-part series will be a whole new learning experience for me about the Canadian twins. But, as expected, it appears sweet lady kisses will very much be part of the experience. So, you know, I’m in. The series debuts Oct. 14. Now go figure out if you get Freevee.

Music Monday: All Yellow

Hey, looks like Tegan and Sara figured out what to do for their next music video. And that’s walking forward (and backwards) on a beach while wearing rain slickers. Look, every music video can’t be “Lemonade.” Sometimes two queer Canadian twins is enough. Though, I still think my Erin Daniels dancing idea for their next video would be epic. Again, totally free idea to use, ladies. No commission necessary. Just think of it as a gift to lesbians everywhere. Happy Monday, kittens.

Pride Matters

Like I was going to finish out a Pride Month without posting about Tegan & Sara. I believe that’s in one of the Lesbian Commandements, right? The Original Lesbian Twin Syndrome trendsetters released the new song “F*****g Up What Matters” earlier this spring. If you want to get right to the music, fast forward to 1:45. Otherwise enjoy the sisters musing about how to shoot their new music video in an original way. And, in case they need a tip for what to do for the next video, bring Erin Daniels in to just dance with them on stage and become LEGENDS. I mean, they’re already legends. But, it never hurts to gild the gay lily. Happy last day of Pride, kittens.

Wonder Twins, Activate

Hey, remember like two years ago when we thought the pandemic was maybe slowing down and we got some really good gay news that made us even more hopeful? The news in question was that Tegan and Sara’s memoir about their high school years was getting turned into a TV series by Clea DuVall.

Well, fast forward today and the pandemic is slowing down (but I know enough to not say over because, hello, new variants) and again we get the good gay news that the project about everyone’s favorite singing lesbian twins is moving forward and has cast its twin leads.

Railey and Seazynn Gilliland were apparently found on TikTok, which — wow — does that make me feel old. Anyway, they’ll play T&S and Cobie Smulders and Kyle Bornheimer will play their parents (well, mom and her boyfriend. Yes, that Cobie Smulders. Bless this series for giving lesbians of a certain age someone age-appropriate to crush on.

I had to check, but I do get IMDb TV with my Prime subscription (I know, I know, *shakes fist* Jeff Bezos!). They start filming this week, but there’s no eta on when it might air. Did I mention it’ll be set in the grunge 90s and Cobie Smulders will play their mom? Yeah, clearly we’re watching.

Music Monday: Tegan & Sara Edition

Does it get much gayer than having Tegan & Sara sing the theme to your lesbian holiday rom-com? No, no it does not. For all the horrors and ongoing catastrophes of this year, it gave us a surprisingly robust slate of new queer stories. From “Happiest Season” to “Ammonite” to “The Haunting of Bly Manor” to “Racthed” - and those are just the mainstream options. Plus we haven’t even talked about all those gay Hallmark/Lifetime boy rom-coms yet that aired recently. So this holiday season make yourself the happiest by snuggling in to some queer entertainment and truly make the yuletide gay. Happy Monday, kittens.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Lezzy High Edition

Wait? What is this? More good news? And it isn’t even Nov. 3 yet! And this news is, like yesterday’s, a bit like Big Gay Christmas came early this year - again. Tegan & Sara, everyone’s favorite queer singing twins, are turning their high school memoir into a comedy TV series being adapted by Clea DuVall, everyone's favorite gay conversion camp dropout. I know, it’s like your Baby Dyke self dreamed up a TV show with all her favorite people AND IT HAPPENED. The series is coming to Amazon’s IMBd TV and the adaptation based on their aptly named book “High School” is described as a coming-of-age story that follows the twin sisters as they navigate identities and sexuality separate from each other against the backdrop of 1990s grunge and rave culture. So, you know, count me in. And if the ladies who are eventually cast in the series happen to slip into some suits like Tegan, Sara or Clea, all the better.

Music Monday: Kelly Does T&S

Yeah, it’s another Monday. And yeah, it’s not Monday, Nov. 2 – yet. But we’ll get there, and each day brings us closer. Oh, and while we’re at it, here’s Kelly Clarkson singing Tegan & Sara’s “Closer” which I believe we can all agree is pertinent to our interests as lesbians…and lesbian supporters. Happy Monday, kittens and kitten supporters.

Music Monday: Tegan & Sara Edition

Like a new Tegan & Sara video was going to be released during a pandemic and this lesbian wasn’t going to mention it? Please, it’s like you don’t know me at all. Our favorite Canadian singing twins released a video for their single “I Know I’m Not The Only One.” It harkens back to their high school selves and reminds us all how far we’ve come. Along with the video they released a making of video special which you can watch here. Also, don’t worry, everything was filmed before we all went into our endless quarantines because of this endless global pandemic (well, more endless for America than other places, alas). Seeing all those happy people dancing together certainly seems like another time. I particularly enjoy the 90s grunge vibe because, HELLO high school. Ah, memories of flannel and being able to dance in the same room with a bunch of other people.

Music Monday: Vintage T&S Edition

Remember when Tegan & Sara were on the original “The L Word” and Dana was tripping balls and Shane was Shane and everything was beautiful and nothing hurt? Yeah, me too. Vaguely. Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. Remember when the Indigo Girls were on “Ellen” for the famous “Puppy Episode?” For every generation, there is a lesbian band that slays on a lesbian show, apparently.

Twinning

This is so deeply weird and/or possibly Canadian and I love every single second of it. This Twin vs. Twin extravaganza featuring the Quin Sisters and Scott Brothers is, well, I already mentioned it was deeply weird, right? But it is also deeply funny. Like, I laught more each time I watch it funny. Also, I would totally, totally watch a show where Tegan and Sara did home improvement projects. All I wanna get is, a little more subway tile...

p.s. Have I mentioned I’ve actually met both of these sets of twins? Like, for realsies. So, you could say, I’m the link that set these twinsies on their deeply weird collision course. You’re welcome, universe.

If They Were Your Boyfriend

If I admit I still have a hard time telling Tegan from Sara sometimes, will you take away my Lesbian Card? Look, it’s harder when they cover up their tattoos, OK? Damn, now I’ve ruined my Lesbo Street Cred forever. Good news though, my face blindness when it comes to Canada’s most musically awesome twins has done nothing to make their content less totally gay. To wit, please witness their most recent song “Boyfriend.” Yes, following up a song all about lesbian sex (hello, come a little “Closer”) with one about your on the down-low girlfriend who treats you like her “Boyfriend” definitely counts as totally gay. And I am totally OK with that.

p.s. Clea DuVall directed the video, who I have no problem recognizing - ever. So, um, can I get at least part of my Lesbian Card back?

My Weekend Purple Crush

For whatever reason, I never truly entertained the idea that Prince could die. He always seemed so immortal. Death seemed too pedestrian for such a mad genius. I’ve written about the permission to be weird Prince gave to me, as a queer girl growing up, and all us other glorious weirdos over at Women & Hollywood today. So now, I’d like to just revel in the talent. Since it’s hard to find Prince’s music – particularly videos - online on purpose, I’m posting some of my favorite (not to mention some of the gayest) covers of his music here.

Brandi Carlile, “Nothing Compares 2 U”

While practically nothing compares to Sinead O’Connor’s original version of this, Brandi gives it a beautiful go.

Tegan and Sara, “When You Were Mine”

Lots of people, including T&S, forget this song was written by Prince and covered by Cyndi.

The Bangles, “Manic Monday”

Not a cover, since they recorded it originally, but another reminder of the wonderful songs Prince wrote – particularly for female artists.

Cast of “The Color Purple,” “Purple Rain”

Last night Jennifer Hudson et al from the Broadway show performed this tribute. Lovely.

And, finally, not a cover. Just Prince singing his own song, stripped down to its beautiful bones, two months ago.

Tegan and Puppy (also Sara)

Corgis and pugs and Tegan and Sara, OH MY. I know this week has been video heavy. But, come on, it’s lesbian heartthrobs Tegan and Sara remaking their “Closer” video with DOGS. Yes, puppehs! Puppehs singing about lesbian sex. OK, now that seems a little weird. But it’s not. It’s just really, really cute.



See, cute! Dogs! Lesbians! Slo-mo pillow fights!

The group made the video with The Pet Collective, a site that – as far as I can tell – is entirely devoted to making adorable animal videos. So, you know, nice work if you can get it.

Yesterday the Canadian cuties (what, you know it’s true) also released their video for the somewhat less cute “Goodbye, Goodbye.” Basically that shows all of the ways you can break up with someone without breaking up with them face-to-face.



Yeah, good song. But the dogs sure are cuter.

My Weekend Crush

The older I get – and believe me, I’m getting fucking older – the less informed I become by my anger. Finding coalition around anger is easy. It’s what built the multi-million dollar anger empires of Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. Anger that flails around in a frenzy looking for a reason loves company. The certainty of rage can, oddly enough, be comforting. The Tea Party is political group built entirely around anger about taxes and guns and assorted other things they believe are their God-given right to get angry about.

I have found, in my almost seven and a half years writing for the series of tubes, that people get the most angry at me when I’m not angry at the same things they are. It’s an interesting and understandable phenomena. We come online, many of us, seeking solidarity and a megaphone for our voice. That’s why fandom is so powerful. The communal experience of loving a thing is transcendent. But the flip side is the shared experience of hating a thing, of shared anger and indignation. Folks responded more to the posts where I just railed at Ryan Murphy than the posts where I just loved on Brittana. That’s not a judgment, that’s just a fact.

If you are angry, I certainly understand that and would never deny you your anger. We have a lot of shit to be angry about. In fact sometimes all we feel is hate, so I understand the desire to lash out at anything associated with that kind of pain. Anger can be justified and anger can be righteous. Anger can spark a revolution. We need anger. But right now, for me, love – that undeniable source of all good in this too often cruel and random universe – is what I’d rather project. I know, I’m sounding all Rainshower Moonbeam Kale & Quinoa Salad here. But compassion is truly what moves the human heart. Anger moves our other muscles and our mouths.

I am also certainly not here to scold anyone. Scolding in itself implies self-righteous anger. I’m not angry with anyone here. I’m sad you feel mad at my lack of anger, mostly. I write to parse out ideas, express opinions, spread information and share Big Lesbian Feelings. You are welcome to take what you want and leave what you want. You are welcome to remain angry with me until the end of time. That’s entirely your prerogative.

But while we may not agree on every issue, I hope we can disagree respectfully. And I hope we can at least agree on the big issues. LGBT rights are immutable human rights. Women’s rights are immutable human rights. Minority rights are immutable human rights. Also, ladies are awesome and look amazing in tank tops. These are the things that matter.

Life is such a strange, strange journey and in the end if all we can say we’ve tried our best to be kind to those around us then I believe it was well worth every dip in the road.

In other life-is-fucking-weird news, here is Taylor Swift and Tegan & Sara singing “Closer.” I can’t quite get my head around it, nor can I comprehend T-Swizzle’s silver high-waisted hotpants. But then there are also 15,000 people jumping up and down with joy while singing about lesbian sex, so why the hell not. Let’s all get a little bit closer, shall we? Happy Weekend, all.

Total heartthrob

Hey, are you The Gay? Do you enjoy The Musics? And The Laughters? Have you considered The Alternative Lifestyle Haircuts? And The Cyndi Lauper Cosplay? Then please click play and enjoy this interview of Tegan & Sara by Andy Samberg on what makes a heartthrob. Hint: Not a mullet. Though, Tegan & Sara, let’s be honest - there were mullets. Oh, yes, there were mullets.

Also their latest album “Heartthrob” comes out today. And if you thought Taylor Swift had the market cornered on breakup songs, think again.

Closer to you

Is to so gay, too gay or just gay enough to post the new Tegan and Sara video on a Monday morning? Fuck it. You know why? Because it’s fabulous. The first time I heard this song I thought, oh, that’s good. But with each listen I become convinced that it’s not just good, not just great, but fucking fantastic. Like, I think this song may be the antidote to the Mondays. It’s deliriously catchy. And delightfully uplifting. Because not only does it make you want to tap your toes, it makes you actually feel lighter on them. Something about the delicious combination of a good hook and bouncy melody mixed with the intoxicating feeling of attraction makes you want to get, well, closer. Happy Monday, and I mean that sincerely.

p.s. Also, who can resist a good 80s middle school party vibe? No one, that’s goddamn who.

Monday music

Let's be frank, Mondays hold very little charm on their own. You know it, I know it, we all know it. But there are ways to make Mondays more palatable. To make the mundane start of another weary work week just a smidge more sublime. And one of them is music. But not just any music. Because why have any old music when you can have excellent cover music. And what's more excellent than some of your favorite ladies singing some of your favorite (and guilty favorite) songs. Starting with your friend and mine kelly Clarkson singing Sia's "Breathe Me."

Tegan & Sara, "Umbrella"

Admit it, this version makes it sound mighty, might gay.

Ingrid Michaelson, "Toxic"

This version makes me feel a little better about dancing to this song until nearly dawn in my younger days.

Zooey Deschanel, "Wouldn't It Be Nice"

Manic pixie dream surfer girl.

Brandi Carlile, "Crazy"

Brandi could sing me the phone book, but Patsy is better.