Arctic Lesbians

Forget Arctic Monkeys, Arctic Lesbians are apparently all the rage. And by “all,” I mean Jodie Foster got her parka on for “True Detective: Night Country” and now Suranne Jones and Rose Leslie are bundling up for the third season of “Vigil.” Admittedly, I haven’t made it through the second season of “Vigil” yet. It seemed like the show kept finding new and inventive ways to keep Detective Chief Inspector Amy Silva and Detective Sergeant/Inspector Kirsten Longacre apart. Also, the whole pregnant lesbians thing. Speaking of which, who is watching the baby as they traipse off to the North Pole? Anyway, I don’t know why, but I might just tune into Season 3 and skip all the drones. I just like lesbians in snow better, I guess.

True Detective: Cold Lesbians Edition

Gee, what kind of claustrophobic situations can Silva and Longacre find themselves in next? Oh, the Arctic you say? So it’s True Detective: Lesbian Country for these two? I will admit not making it all the way through “Vigil” Season 2 yet. Something about the secret military base and the drones and pregnant lesbians had me a tad bored. Or maybe I’m just not as into copganda as much anymore. Anyway, I really did enjoy Jodie Foster’s “Night Country,” so I might be ready to watch Suranne Jones and Rose Leslie get parka with it for another season.

Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age

Someone called me “creepy” for noting that Amber Glenn, who is a 26-year-old fully adult woman, is hot. Which, I might add, could just be empirical fact. Regardless, I would like to comfort those who are concerned about my moral compass, that I would never actually initiate any real-world romantic relationships with someone approximately half my age. Nor do I want to. But, also, I have eyes that work – and I’m not dead. Anyway, to not offend anyone’s sensibilities – delicate or otherwise – how about some Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age? All these women are well within an appropriate age bracket for a Gen Xer who keeps throwing those AARP invitations in the trash.

Suranne Jones, 47

It’s the manspreading for me.

Tracy Chapman, 61

Boy, I wish she would play publicly more so I could objectify the shit out of her…talent.

Cate Blanchett, 56

I’ve never pulled off a velvet suit this well at any age.

Jodie Foster, 63

Granted, I might be on the edge of youngish for Jodie depending on her May-December tolerance. Which clearly would be the only thing holding us back and not the fact that she’s already married and also Jodie Foster.

Jenna Lyons, 57

I wish she was still with J.Crew, because as a Gen Xer I still have major residual nostalgia about that brand and its catalogue.

Regina King, 55

I’m pretty sure I can’t pull off an orange suit either, regardless of age.

Lena Headey, 52

I’ll always have a thing for age-appropriate florists thanks to her.

Cynthia Nixon, 59; Carrie Coon, 45; Christine Baranski, 73

Yes, I know Louisa Jacobson (34) and Taissa Farmiga (31) are just sweet baby angel children, so please accept the reverse 20+year age gap with Christine as my mea culpa.

p.s. In case further apology is needed, please accept this with my most sincere age-appropriate feelings (just put your thumb over 38-year-old Karen Gillan’s face if necessary) as everyone else is 50+.

Vacation Vixen: Suranne Jones

It’s truly a pity she isn’t queer because look how great she looks in this suit. My argument stands. Happy weekend, kittens.

Tank Top Tuesday: Keeping up with the Jones

Look, it’s Suranne Jones’s turn. Jodie Whittaker wore the tank in my first post about “Frauds.” By the way, my Brit kittens, how is that? I don’t think we stupid Yanks can watch it yet. But more importantly, anything gay? (I know, but we can always dream.)

My Weekend Crush

I have no idea if Suranne Jones and Jodie Whittaker’s new series “Frauds” will be any good. But I do know Jodie plays an ex-con named Sam and Suranne plays her partner in crime named Bert. And they apparently look like this in it. So we’re just gonna take this one for Team Gay, no matter what happens. Happy Weekend, all.

Second Vigil

I’m going to start calling “Vigil” that show that does its darndest to keep Suranne Jones and Rose Leslie apart. Or at least, it looks like Season 2 has them apart again from the previews I’ve seen. But I don’t know for sure. Though at least they appear to be on land this time instead of under the sea. Also, how many military cases do the Scottish police involve themselves in? Do they need to open a Special Military Unit to go with their new Marine Homicide Unit (see what I did there, cross-pollinated my UK crime procedurals)?

Other things I don’t know about the new season? Why Rose’s DS Longacre is pregnant – and apparently very pregnant. If her and Suranne’s DCI Silva are back together. (You can go ahead and spoil me on that point if you’ve watched already. It’ll help me set my expectations.) But I do hope Rose and Suranne at least have more screen time together, and not just in flashbacks. Either way, guess I’ll find out soon enough because the second season starts streaming today on Peacock. Yes, I know, go check to see if you get Peacock. And if you don’t, well, Gentleman Jack is still streaming on Max. Happy watching.

A New Carole

While Carol Day is still two weeks away, a new Carole is coming to the holidays. But it appears someone is coming for Carol Aird’s title as Lesbian Queen of Christmas. Again, “Carol” is a Christmas movie. Consider it the lesbian “It’s a Wonderful Life” – an annual must rewatch. Still, it appears Suranne Jones might be challenging her this season. Now, I have no evidence that “Christmas Carole” has anything even remotely queer in it. But, given that Suranne is starring in it, I naturally assume she’ll be playing a lesbian. I mean, look at her track record. I’m not wrong. Anyway, I realize this is supposed to be some sort of modern spin on “A Christmas Carol.” And Surrane is playing someone Scrooge named Carole who is an “unashamedly wealthy entrepreneur.” From this photo I am going to assume Taj Atwal is playing the Cratchit/Therese character. What? You know my version would be better.

My Weekend (Canceled) Crush

Every expletive. EVERY EXPLETIVE. Well, HBO has canceled “Gentleman Jack” which means the number of shows currently on air that are centered explicitly around queer female characters has dwindled. And, honestly, pretty badly. “Wynonna Ear.” Over. “Killing Eve.” Buried the Gay. “Batwoman.” Dumped. “Dickinson.” Done. “Work In Progress,” “Betty”, “Motherland: Fort Salem.” Canceled, canceled, canceled. Sheesh, I’m glad my little murder podcast show went queer this season otherwise “The L Word: Generation Q” was starting to feel lonely. (And never leave us “Hacks,” “We Are Lady Parts” and “Yellowjackets” — ever.)

Now, as mentioned before, I was tardy in watching the second season. Which is totally my bad. But I so greatly appreciated the opportunity to emerge myself into the jaunty, swoony world of 19th Century Anne Lister and her wife Ann Walker. Sure, we all joke about the abundance of lesbian period pieces. But this show was truly the only televised option or series that gave us a window (however romanticized) into the lives of queer women in the past.

And, let me tell you, you still cannot beat the swoon-inducing heights of the Season 1 finale. Kissing on a mountaintop? Yeah, this show deserved to keep going for that moment ripped straight from the pages of your lesbian romance novel dreams alone. But, truly, we’ve lost another chance at representation and recognition. Being queer has always been a part of history. It’s beyond unfortunate that HBO has chosen to make this show history instead. Well, we’ll always have that kiss. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Low Pony Edition

This is what I believe you call a long, tall, low pony drink of water. WHEN DOES THIS SHOW COME BACK AGAIN? Oh, HBO has finally told us. April 25, queers. It comes back Monday, April 25. But until then, please enjoy Suranne Jones lounging in a barn. And that low pony? Be still my heart. Also, from the new HBO and BBC trailers, it seems we’ll be getting a lot of that low pony in season 2. And, of course, a lot of lesbian drama. Giving the queer ladies exactly what they want, I see. We can only hope, show.

HBO Trailer:

BBC Trailer:

My Weekend Crush

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*I know I had the same squealing reaction when the first teaser trailer for the second season of “Gentleman Jack” came out earlier this month but just look at this cover. Squeals some more*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*I mean, realy, LOOK AT IT*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Counts the days, hours, seconds until April, which is two weeks closer now, and send best wishes for a happy weekend, all*

Totally Jacked

Yes, again, I know I am behind on Very Important Lesbian News. But I was busy participating too personally in this pandemic. But after a long, long, stupidly long two-and-a-hal year drought we’re FINALLY getting some new “Gentleman Jack” content. Granted, we still don’t have a premiere date for Season 2 other than “this spring.” But at least now we have some pretty pictures to look at while we continue to wait and wait and have I mentioned we’re waiting?

HBO has released new images from Season 2, without any context or other information. So because nature abhors a vacuum, I shall fill in the blanks for you as best I can.

1) It’s Lister, Anne Lister *said in Bond, James Bond voice*

2) Draw Anne Like One Of Your French Girls

3) Rhythm Nation 1832 Style

4) Pirouette Cookies, But Make It Fashion

5) I Went from Making Eyes at Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt and the Breaker of Chains to Sitting In Front of a Fire and Tutt-Tutting My Lesbian Sister’s Decisions.

6) When Your Side Piece Gets Gay Married…

7) …And They Can’t Keep Their Hands Off Each Other

8) Leave It to Gentleman Jack to Start the Lesbian Carabiner Trend

My Weekend Crush

What’s a gal got to do to get some travelling thermometer action around here? It’s starting to feel almost illegal to announce a release date for Season 2 of “Gentleman Jack.” Despite being finished with filming in October, we’re still waiting and waiting. It seems practically forever ago since we last saw Anne and Ann tie the knot after that wind-swept mountaintop proposal. I mean, it was forever ago — the show finished its first season in June 2019. That was in The Before Times. But what I wouldn’t give to return to the genteel and not-so genteel Yorkshire countryside. I won’t even complain about Anne’s hair… that much. Well, until the powers that be deem to grace us with the Season 2 premiere date, please enjoy 7 uninterrupted minutes of Anne Lister/Suranne Jones being one smooth operator. Now, that’s one charming gentleman I can’t wait to see again this year. Happy weekend, all.

Ever Vigil-ant

Oh, kittens. Christmas is coming early! Well, two days early. But, early none the less. As some of you noted in my last whiny post about it, “Vigil” is coming stateside on Peacock tomorrow (Dec. 23). Finally queer women on this side of the pond who are too lazy to set up a VPN like me can watch Gentleman Jack and Ygritte the Wildling solve murders and perhaps smooch (or at the very least process their relationship) on a nuclear submarine. After seeing clips and gifs aplenty about the series, I can’t wait. This is not the first time Suranne Jones or Rose Leslie have played gay, the former of course as the eponymous “Gentleman Jack” and the latter in the series “The Good Fight.” The American trailer keeps the gay stuff a little under wraps which, hmmm. But you and I know that hug contains multitudes. So let’s don we now our gay apparel, and let’s watch this thing finally.

My Weekend Crush

I miss “Gentleman Jack.” Like, a lot. Like, hurry up already and give us our second season already a lot. I know I said this already, but I need that jolt of pure live-action lesbian period piece romance. I know I’ve grumbled in the past about movies only giving us lesbian period dramas. But lesbian period romance is something different. This is the swoony kissing on mountaintops stuff of our dreams. Never mind that in real life Anne Lister was definitely a Tory and interested only in the concerns of the privileged land-owning aristocracy. In make-believe heaven she’s the romantic lead of our olden times dreams. Fine, maybe without that hair. But still. That Gentleman, she’s a keeper. And, of course, so is that rainbow cardigan on Suranne Jones. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. I am also still impatiently waiting my chance to finally see Suranne play a modern lesbian. Hurry up and release “Vigil” across the pond so us American yokels can watch too.

The H.M.S. Silvacre

So, speaking of crime shows, thanks to The Series of Tubes I am aware there is a British police procedural miniseries called “Vigil” on the BBC. My understanding of the series is that Suranne Jones (Gentleman Jack herself) and Rose Leslie (the hottest Wildling) play detectives investigating a death on a submarine, and also they give each other an extended hug. Now, The Series of Tubes being the series of tubes it also informed me that Suranne and Rose do more than hug. So, clearly, this is now pertinent to all of my interests.

As yet, mostly because of general laziness, I have not had a chance to watch this show. But the women wear autumnal clothes while investigating crimes and making out so, I ask, what’s not to like?

Obviously, the show presents some workplace sexual harassment concerns. Suranne plays Detective Chief Inspector Amy Silva who ostensibly is the boss of Rose’s Detective Sergeant Kirsten Longacre. But, hey, there’s a good portmanteau already, so get it Silvacre! I mean, it’s literally a show about a ship, of course they have a shipper name.

I am going to have to ask our Kittens Across the Pond for some more real-time intel on the show. I understand the finale was last month so, was it worth it? I anxiously await its arrival on one of our stateside streaming services (or, you know, a good link which wink, wink is totally above board). Not having seen the show but feeling supremely confident in my uninformed assessments, I will from here on out until my actual viewing of it (and perhaps even after) be referring to this show as “The Hunt for Lesbian October.” I feel good about my choices.

My Weekend Crush

So I missed Anne Lister’s 230th birthday last weekend. My most sincere of apologies. Terrible form on my part, admittedly. Our fine “Gentleman Jack” is looking lovely for any age. And, honestly, I simply cannot wait for the second season. Suranne Jones does a smashing job as our our favorite period drama butch, and truly you can’t get a more beautiful, wind-swept, romantic moment than that mountaintop kiss. Like, come on, swoon city.

I plan a full and luxurious rewatch of the first season shortly before it debuts, which should be much less stressful than the first watch as I spent the whole first season bracing for The Terrible Things that might happen to our couple because of The Gay. Until then, we wait. And, belatedly, sing “Happy Birthday” to our dapper gal. Happy weekend, all.

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Gender Fuck Thursday: Gentleman Jack Edition

Now that’s what I like to see. Beloved fictionalized historical figures taking real-life modern issues seriously. After an extended delay because we’re in a goddamned global pandemic still, production with necessary safety protocols has begun again on the second season of “Gentleman Jack.” Filming began last month, about six months behind schedule because, because you know *points to everything on fire*. After one of perhaps the swooniest endings in modern lesbian stories told on the big or small screen (I mean, that mountaintop kiss - come on!), I can’t wait to see what Anne Lister does next. But you know Suranne Jones will be doing it off-screen in a mask. As we all should.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Dapper Ladies Edition

It’s my Thursday, and I can post women looking dapper as fuck in traditional men’s wear if I want to. So I will. And they do, look dapper as fuck. I mean, look at Kate McKinnon striking her best Katharine Hepburn – and pulling it off. Plus after the entire year that the first – checks calendar – 12 days of March have been, we deserve this. We truly do.

Tatiana Maslany

A long lost dapper clone, no doubt.

Evan Rachel Wood

Sad-yet-glam dapper is still dapper.

Tessa Thompson

Casual going to South Beach for a weekend getaway dapper.

Sarah Silverman

Still, when in doubt of how to dapper, you can’t go wrong with a tux.

Megan Rapinoe

Fine, dapper looks easier for some of us than others.

Ellen Page

Casual dapper is hard to pull off, but clearly not impossible.

Tina Fey

If you were ever to get me a singing telegram, Hot Dapper Nerd in Suit (who is also my Fake TV/Movie Wife) is exactly my type.

Jennifer Beals & Kate Moennig

O.G. Lesbian TV Legends dapper.

Suranne Jones & Sophie Rundle

What? Historical dapper is very much a thing. Very much.

The Look

With “The L Word” coming back, the unabashed portrayal of female desire – that is women desiring other women – is back on our screens. And while the show definitely starts with a wham, bam, tampon ma’am, the act itself isn’t all there is. Far from it. In fact, one of the sexist parts of sex is the seduction. Especially when you can see the desire in her eyes. And then there’s The Look. Oh, you know The Look. You love The Look. The Look is definitely one of the Top 3 reasons to get out of bed in the morning. Especially if The Look looks you up and down. I just... *bites lip forever* So here, in honor so The Look being back on our screens, please enjoy some classic looks.

Wendy & Kay, Mindhunter


Anne & Ann, Gentleman Jack


Villanelle & Eve, Killing Eve


Ronit & Esti, Disobedience


Fleabag & Belinda, Fleabag


Therese & Carol, Carol