My Weekend Crush

All this gay dating show talk has me reminiscing about one of my favorite sapphic couples. Oh Alice and Dana. You were taken from us far, far too soon. Heck, so soon that we – the long-suffering “The L Word” fandom – didn’t even have a chance to give them a proper mortmanteau. We’d only gotten around to naming TiBette! And after that we had to deal with the abomination that was Shenny. Should we give them a posthumous portmanteau? This year marks the 20th anniversary of Dana’s death, after all. Piebanks? FairPie? OK, maybe not. But, whatever you call them, I miss them. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday: More L

I mean if we’re going to honor lesbian tank tops during Pride, let’s post some of the OGs. And did you know THE Ilene Chaiken is writing fan fiction a new short story in “The L Word” universe? It's part of Ilene and Jennifer Beal’s Run-A-Muck, the media company also behind that wlw pro basketball rom-com. Admittedly, I haven’t signed up to read “The Long Story.” I don’t know how I feel about revisiting Bette and Tina’s continued adventures n this way. But, you know, I’ll certainly revisit the tank tops.

Music Monday: The B&L Word

When I started to see clips of Leisha Hailey on stage with Brandi Carlile at the latter’s sapphic music lovers festival Girls Just Wanna Weekend, I thought maybe I was having strange lesbian feverdreams. But sometimes real life really is like queer Mad Libs. The singing Grammy gay icon with the used-to-sing/TV star/sang-again gay icon singing Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees” together. While I never made it to the Dinah, I think one of these days I may just have to make one of Brandi’s weekends. I mean, just think of the iconic lesbionic onstage combinations to come. The mind boggles. Happy Monday, kittens.

The S Word

Solidarity! (The word is solidarity. Or strike. Or both!) As with past writer’s strikes, I’m all-in with Team Writers, duh. I’ll never be even remotely in with Team Corporate Profits. Like, I’m the person rooting for the killer whales to bring about the end of Late Stage Capitalism. (Go, Orcas, go!) It’s been fun to watch all the famous folks stopping by the show their solidarity with the writers (well, if serious labor disputes with greedy corporate overlords who don’t want to share in the profits with the very people who create the profits through their work and creativity can be called fun… Don’t get me started).

Last month,, “Abbott Elementary” writer and queer filmmaker Brittani Nichols shared photos of “The L Word” strike day. And, lemme tell ya, their signs did NOT disappoint. Joining the picket line were Leisha Hailey, Kate Moennig, Rosanny Zayas, Jillian Mercado, Leo Sheng, Stephanie Allynne and THEE Ilene Chaiken. Yes, and I even loved Ilene’s sign.

As much as we love to hate it, it was the true end of an era to see TLW:GQ be amongst the many, many Cancel Your Gays victims this season — though, huzzah for the maybe??? return of “Warrior Nun,” maybe?. I don’t have similar hopes for the reboot (a reboot of a reboot, yeah, probably not for another 10 years when they could do a “Golden Girls”-style reboot). But it’s still nice to see them bring the lesbian strike appropriate word play and those old L feelings back. Shane on you, indeed.

My Weekend (Canceled) Crush

Well, I guess we should talk about “The L Word: Generation Q” cancellation. I mean, we all expected it (hell, I prematurely called it when I mistakenly thought the penultimate episode could be my last Pre-L for the show ever). But it’s still what can best be described as a bummer. Symbolically, canceling the one show that focuses entirely on queer women’s lives really is the cherry on the Cancel Your Gays cake. Remember when we just wanted them to let our queer characters live? Now they won’t let whole damn shows live. Whenever I start to think that maybe, maybe we’re getting somewhere truly significant with our representation, mainstream media decides we’re still expendable and not part of their core mission. And it’s a reminder that corporate America sees diversity and inclusion initiatives as fringe benefits to be quickly cut loose when times get a tad tougher.

Like, I’m sure Amazon Prime only have “A League of Their Own” those four episodes because they knew the fallout would be so shattering if they didn’t (or, well, because they’ve got an overall deal with one of the creators who also happens to be head of another show on the same streamer they’ve actually put a big publicity push behind…).

But, as with everydamnthing these days, a reboot might still be alive and kicking. Per Deadline, The Ilene Chaiken is in development to reboot the series as “The L Word: New York” or some such thing. Think “Sex and the Lesbians” or “And Just Like Gay…” Lol. I have absolutely no comment on what a Chaiken NY reboot would mean for us other than to say please leave the stray dogs, circus tents and breast cancer storylines out of it.

I will be sad if this is the last we’ve seen of Bette, Tina, Shane and Alice. While TiBette got their storybook wedding (though, I still have questions for their wedding suit tailors), Alice got her Tasha and Shane got...well, at least she still looks very Shane today. I hate to say it, but there aren’t too many of the Generation Q characters I will miss. I mean I thought they were mostly likable. But, yeah.

In the end, TLWGQ — while sometimes more well structured (though, clearly not always - they sure dropped the Gini/Dani relationship like the most unceremonious hot potato for apparently no reason) than the original — was never truly more fun than the original. And that may have as much to do with timing as anything else. Back when TLW premiered in 2004 it felt like a revelation. A show about us! Sure, it didn’t encompass all of us (which has always been one of its issues), but then no show can truly represent the vast spectrum of queer women. And they did make much more of an effort with the reboot. But the vitalness of seeing ourselves, well, it’s not as urgent thanks to begrudging progress.

Now, at least before they were canceled, you could find yourself in a show about superheroes or marooned high schoolers or warrior nuns of unimaginably glamorous international assassins, etc. etc. It didn’t have to be a group of well-to-do queer women in LA. It could be anywhere. And while I certainly appreciate all the representation and think our ubiquity is key to equality, it still hurts when the thing that was explicitly ours is taken away. So thanks for being their TLWGQ. Our stories always deserve to be told. I mean, it’s the way that we live and looooove after all. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend (Tibette Is Endgame) Crush

We may have (for real this time) watched the very last episode ever of “The L Word.” Or at least the last one until in 20 years they decide it’s time for another revival, like a lesbian “80 for Brady” or something, but with actually likable sportsball stars because they’ll all be lesbians. (But who knows, Showtime might give us another season of fighting, fucking, crying, drinking - we shall see.) The series remains, true to its continual form, uneven and often frustrating. In between that we’d catch glimpses of what has made us watch this show from the start. That look — however imperfect, frustrating, over glamourize and under inclusive as it was — into the daily lives and loves and lots and lots of drama of contemporary queer women. We watched because we saw ourselves, or perhaps what we aspired to, in this tight-knit group of queer female friends. And we watched because it was all we had as the very first show just about us. And, well, you just never forget your first. So I’m just going to say congrats to TiBette Nation, this whole season was a culmination of their long-dreamed of endgame. It’s taken us almost 20 years. But we all got to see the longest-running lesbian couple on American TV finally get legally married (I mean, I’m sure Alice’s internet ordination was legit, right?). And in the presence of White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre and Ilene Chaiken, no less. I could get into specific plot points and key details (like, not sure about Tina’s suit or the tailoring on Bette’s pants), but really in the end it was the vibe we came for and the characters we loved that kept us here. As more and more shows feature inclusive queer female characters, the truth is “The L Word” is just not as essential anymore. (Though maybe stop canceling all these LGBTQ+ shows, networks. K, thanks.) But if there is another season, yep, imma watch it. Because, well, it’s “The L Word.” Happy weekend, all.

Pre-L Interruptus

Well, well, well. Showtime has not posted the screener for the finale (the real finale this time, not the one I made up in my head). And they’ve not posted pictures of the finale yet either. But if they do either today, I will bring you a Pre-L of sorts as soon as I can. Until then, without going into specific spoilers, what do you want to have happen in this the possibly last episode of The L Word? Wedding bells? Lots of shagging? Questionable relationships with exes, real and non-corporeal? Or maybe just Carmen? A gal can dream. Just no waterfalls and no pools perhaps.

Pre-L: Quiet Before the Storm (S3E9)

Well, seems this show about a letter has learned its lesson from Dana and will no longer kill off even moderately liked characters. (No comment on Jenny Schecter.) So Rosie O’Donnell isn’t dead, not on screen or in real life, and last week wasn’t the finale, not on screen or in real life. Apologies again for last week’s confusion, I blame it on post-holiday malaise and/or generalized life bullshit. This week’s episode starts with an unmistakable troll, showing us a hospital corridor and giving us all a tad of PTSD in the process. I see what you did there, show. Thank the Sapphic gods they didn’t play “You Are My Sunshine” over the scene, too. But there’s still one episode after this, so no non-death kudos just yet. But at least Bette & Tina are alive and well.

As always, MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. BIG. HUUUGE. So if you don’t want to know, don’t scroll. But you know you want to know. That’s why you’re here.

1. Honestly, I would watch a whole show about a middle-aged lesbian couple that takes in a stray gay youth who then becomes their House Boi. Seriously, get on that whatever streamer won’t cancel shows with lesbian content after one season.

2. Me, when I’m eating my healthy New Year’s resolution meals.

3. TiBette Supermoms is also a show I’d watch, like “The Fosters” but less about the annoying teenagers.

4. I get it, Shane. I also bought a pinky ring over the holidays thinking it would fix my whole life.

5. Alice remains a relatable queen, showing friends 200 photos of her cat with no plans of ever stopping.

6. Isn’t it crazy it took this many seasons to get a couple where both women had haircuts like this?

7. Ugh, can we just skip through the Alice being canceled storyline? After Lydia Tar, is there really anything left to say on the matter?

8. Modern queer relationships are 90% just sending each other TikToks, often while in the same room together snuggling.

9. Fine, Bisexual Evel Knievel is also a show I’d watch. Look, I’d watch a lot of shows.

10. First the candy in her purse. Then these glasses. Is Bette entering her Meemaw Era?

11. Classic Alice hijinks is classic.

12. Oh, Angie. Baby girl. No, baby girl. No.

13. Lesbian couples in their PJs binging “Grey’s Anatomy” is the representation we need and deserve.

14. End of game.

15. Oh, Tess. Baby girl. Also, sadly, no.

16. I mean, we all knew this was going to happen. Luckily we still love a woman in a uniform.

Scrap Cap:

I mean, there were literal and figurative fireworks, so how could I not?

Pre-L: “Quality Family Time” (S5E8)

So “The L Word: Generation Q” ends continues their third season with a “Q” word. And true to that form this season has felt like a transition, with the series leaning heavily on its next generation as the original cast faded more into the background – or completely off screen in many cases. The count of original cast members dwindled, so much so that we we’re only looking Very Shane Today in the season finale. But they also gave fitting conclusions to some of the Ghosts of L Word Past, including making amends for the Max debacle and Dana decision and last, but definitely not least, for making Tibette Endgame. Along the way, this show has managed to show a glorious spectrum of queer families – from those who raised us (for better or for worse) to our chosen families to the families we create out of nothing but our love and determination. Has it all been glorious? No, but I’m still thankful there’s space for a show that focuses entirely on our lives, even when it’s frustrating or dissapointing or batshit crazy. So, will we get another season of the women who long, love, lust? Good question, another one of those Q words.

1. Youths and their extreme scissoring.

2. Is this oat milk? It better be oat milk.

3. Gigi who? Kidding, but seriously, is she no longer on the show?

4. Does Lesiha get paid for this episode just for being on the phone?

5. I counted three edibles, so that turkey is gonna hit different.

6. I always thought Mary McCormack’s character from “In Plain Sight” should have been a lesbian. Now she’s a lesbian’s mom.

7. Oh no, not another throuple. (Kidding, they’d never invite that turkey…I’ll see myself out.)

8. Dani’s Thanksgiving plans win. No contest.

9. I still think it’s not a great idea to work at a bar as a recovering alcoholic, but at least Fin is dressing better.

10. They were just told if they get renewed for a fourth season it’ll be a murder mystery and one of them will end up dead in a pool.

11. Lesbian exes making bad decisions in real time.

11. As I was saying.

12. I wonder if they played musical chairs to see whose storyline would end in a cliffhanger. Well, at least it didn’t involve a pool, yet.

EDIT: Well, I don’t know why I thought this season had 8 episodes, but enjoy the cliffhanger anyway, sapphics.

Pre-L: “Little Boxes” (S3E7)

I know, I still can’t get over how much I liked the musical episode. The Power of Dana, I suppose. Now that we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming it feels like this season is all about recurring themes from the original. Micah & Maribel getting desperate for a donor sperm feels very O.G. Bette & Tina Season 1. And if you really want to stretch things, you can say the Angie/Teacher storyline is a distant mirror of the Tim/Swim Team Girl thing in reverse. Also Leisha gets sole O.G. duty in this episode with no Shane and the continued on screen memory holing of Bette & Tina.

1. Can we put all of her whole storyline on ice, not just her nipples?

2. Like I could write an entire lesbian romance novel from this one image alone. Hot Butches Bowling would be an instant bestseller, obviously.

3. I’m actually here for all this intergenerational lesbroing.

4. This is the Spider-Man pointing meme come to life.

5. Fine, Sophie does look great in that dress. It pains me to say this as she is also clearly Generation Q’s Jenny Schecter.

6. Remember when Dani was going to jail for her family’s role in profiteering from the opioid epidemic? Lol, now she’s escorting lesbian pop royalty while wearing matching Miami Vice blazers. I love a good between-season character reboot.

7. Is it finally time to unleash Mama B and Mama T on that future Me Too lawsuit in training?

8. I feel bad for the new love interests on this show. None of them tend to stick around too long, no matter how cute.

9. If you think Fletcher was stunt guest casting, never forget that Snoop Dogg was on the original series. And not as himself! So was Gloria Steinem, but she got to be herself.

10. If Donald Faison’s whole purpose on this show was to unite Alice with Piddles 2, well, a grateful nation thanks you for your service.

11. What, you’re crying. The Dana stuff last week hit hard, OK. I’m still recovering.

12. Maybe it’s because I too have been recently dumped, but Fin’s chaotic, unhousebroken golden retriever shtick didn’t bother me as much this week.

13. Like, this romance novel writes itself.

Scrap Cap:

Alice’s true love is pussy. Go figure.