Wayward Watch

I;m not entirely sure why I haven’t started “Wayward” yet. I mean it stars Mae Martin as a trans cop in a small town with a pregnant wife. Also, hello, Toni Collette. But maybe it’s the creepy nature (remember what I said about horror yesterday) or the general bleakness of torturing troubled teenagers that I just haven’t yet. But I know, I know – I should. I will.

Carol's Alley

Remember when – back before we were all trapped in this endless pandemic – we were all like, OMG, “Nightmare Alley” looks like the “Carol” sequel we all need and deserve? Well, we still deserve (and especially need, after the last 18 months we’ve had) to see “Carol 2: Lezectric Boogaloo,” the new trailer makes it clear(-ish) we won’t be witnessing the perpetual sunrise of Carol and Therese. Instead director Guillermo del Toro is giving us late 40s carny creepiness with a side of psychological horror. Cate plays Dr. Lilith Ritter, a psychiatrist who is teams up with Bradley Cooper’s carny to manipulate people and cause general mayhem. It’s undeniably delicious when Cate plays evil (hello, Hela), so I’ll definitely check this one out. Also it has Toni Collette, who is great in everthing. (Though, uh, this cast is about as white as “Carol,” which insert grimacing emoji here.) Still, we see you Rooney Mara and your Therese-esque beret. And we see you Cate with your Carol Aird lipstick and bob. We’re sure this isn’t a “Carol” sequel, right? I mean, a gay gal can dream.I mean, a gay gal can dream.

My Weekend Crush

They say all actors are chameleons, which to an extent is true. But not all of them go to the extent that Toni Collette does to prove it. I had not watched the “United States of Tara” until last weekend – even one little episode. Part of this is because I don’t have Showtime anymore, and part of this is my continued stubborn instance on being behind in everything. But then, as I gloated before, the entire second season screener fell into my lap and it just seemed beyond callous not to at the very least give it a peek. Two nights and 12 episodes later, I am hooked like a flounder.

Now, it isn’t just the neat party trick that Toni can pull off, switching from alter to alter that makes this show so interesting. Instead it’s a combination of excellent writing, rich characters and undeniable realness no matter how surreal the situations get. And, if I may gloat once more, I have seen the future and it is pretty freaking fantastic. I think the highest compliment I can give this season is that it makes me desperately want to watch next (and, of course, catch up on last season). As odd as this sounds, given her frequent unhinged behavior, Tara is the glue that holds the show together. Which is all thanks to Toni.

I’ve loved Toni since “Muriel’s Wedding” – how could you not? As the awkward daydreamer with a thing for ABBA, she was the underdog who inspired one of the great underdog solidarity lines in cinema: “I’m with Muriel.” Through her career she has shown off an uncanny ability to melt into a role, though none more so than as Tara and her alters. With a tip of the head, a roll of her shoulder she can transform into another, fully formed person. Also, it doesn’t hurt that this season Buck gets (and goes, ahem) down with Pammy. Oh, baby, indeed. Happy weekend, all.

[Slightly NSFW, so you know, watch immediately.]

Tank Top Tuesday

So even though it may seem like all I ever do is sit on my ass on the couch and watch TV, this is amazingly not actually the case. To be sure, I watch a lot of television. But I don’t watch everything. Now I feel downright righteous about some of non-watching stands. Still other shows make me feel downright bad about not watching. To atone for my guilt, I’d like to offer up my thank you for the lovely actresses involved. A few more tank tops like this and I’ll have to go on a series DVD renting spree of epic proportions. Good thing I like my couch.

Grace Park, Battlestar GalacticaYes, I still have never watched BSG. Please don’t tell anyone or the Geek Police will surely come to my house and arrest me for crimes against nerdiness.

Evangeline Lilly, LostThis being the final season and all, it seems ridiculous to start. Also ridiculous? A smoke monster.

Anna Paquin, True BloodI love vampires. I love Alan Ball. I have no idea why I’m not watching this show.

Chloe Sevigny, Big LoveNow this one I don’t feel quite as bad about. I mean, even Chloe said last season was “awful.”

Jessica Stroup, 90210I never watched the original either.

Blake Lively, Gossip GirlI know this show is a guilty pleasure, just not for me (sorry, Heather).

Billie Piper, Dr. WhoEvery time I happen on this show I feel two distinct things: 1) Lost and 2) Like if I wasn’t lost I’d really be enjoying myself.

Katie McGrath, MerlinSyFy had a marathon over the weekend. I had to stop to see why Rachel Weisz’s doppelganger/younger sister was running around with knights and wizards.

Stana Katic, CastleReally, I should watch just to support Captain Tight Pants. I’m a bad Whedonite.

Toni Collette, United State of TaraI have shamefully never watched. But I have the entire second season sitting on my desk. So, you know, that’s going to change.

p.s. No, really, the second season. It's a screener. Jealous?