Political Rumours

With two weeks until probably the most consequential election of our lifetimes (so far, alas), how about a little political humor? Not really in the mood? Well, what if I told you the political humor included Cate Blanchett? OK, now you’re interested. I don’t really know much about this movie other than it’s a satire of the G7 summit of world leaders. Cate plays the German Chancellor, and the movie also features Alicia Vikander speaking Swedish, zombie bog bodies and a giant, pulsing brain. Hey, can’t be any weirder than our current political landscape.

All the Glorias Fit to Print

Look, if we keep going like this every actress will have a shot of playing Gloria Steinem. And, don’t get me wrong, Gloria definitely deserves the star treatment. But does it also feel a little like she is perhaps the only feminist some folks in Hollywood know exists? (Yes, yes, I know both “The Glorias” and “Mrs. America” feature a host of other important and essential feminist icons – but Gloria is so often the hook.) Anyway, where were we? “The Gloria” has actresses from Alicia Vikander to Julianne Moore play our eponymous Gloria through the ages. And, yeah, it looks good. But sometimes I just feel like saying, hey, Audre Lorde is right there. Hello.

Tank Top Tuesday: Quarantine Fighter Edition

Since it’s Pride Month and you deserve nice things, here is a Very Special Tank Top Tuesday: Quarantine Fighter Edition. We’ve all been fighting the good fight staying home and wearing masks when we can't. As a reward we get to pick which of these badass ladies in tank tops is the best Quarantine Fighter to represent us best during these challenging/stressful/frightening/enraging times. Inspired by Charlize Theron returning to her Action Mode with bonus Short-Hair Mode in “The Old Guard” (not to mention that bitchin' Boss Bitch Battle) here are some more female action stars showing us how it’s done. Now all there is left is to choose wisely. Who is your True Quarantine Fighter?

Charlize Theron


Mackenzie Davis


Tessa Thompson


Alicia Vikander


Emily Blunt


Evangeline Lilly


Gal Gadot


Maggie Q


Margot Robbie


Brie Larson

p.s. Who are we kidding? We’re all Brie. Now, pass the cookies.

Tank Top Tuesday: Gif-tasic Edition

Women in tank tops are a thing of beauty. Women in tank tops moving in an eternal loop of hotness are also a thing of beauty. You’re welcome.

Tessa Thompson


Evangeline Lilly


Alicia Vikander


Janelle Monae


Daisy Ridley


Gal Gadot


Anne Hathaway


Anna Silk


Zoie Palmer

One Lesbian Wedding Minus Any Funerals

“Four Weddings & a Funeral” remains one of my all-time favorite rom-coms. This may or may not be because there’s a sneeze-and-you’ll-miss-it “Lesbians Until Graduation” moment featuring Kristin Scott Thomas – which come to think of it may be part of my enduring crush on KST. And then there’s the funeral outing scene which never ceases to make me cry. Also, imagine not being out to even your closest friends. Dammit, the 90s (and all of previous recorded history).

So imagine my delight when I saw the whole jolly gang back together minus any funerals and plus a whole lot of lesbianism. The entire cast reunited minus Charlotte Coleman (the actress who played Scarlett) and Simon Callow (the actor who played Gareth is luckily very much alive, but his character died in the film so…) for Comic Relief’s Red Nose Day last month.

Watching it was like a who’s who of actors you are hapy to see had full and thriving careers. Like, look, it’s David Haigh – not only is he back to play the loveable Bernard, he is clearly an actor who had mastered affable Englishman vibe as he also displayed as Bill from “Killing Eve.” And then there’s Duckface, who lesbians no doubt remember as the men rich lady with a thing for leather dildos from “Tipping the Velvet.”

All that and we haven’t even gotten to the lesbianism yet! Alicia Vikander and Lily James play Fiona and Charles’ now-adult offspring who grew up to be lesbians who fell in love. Like, was someone reading my diaries from the 90s? All I can say is I want my other 76 minutes. Because this would be the perfect lesbian rom-com if it was a full 90 minutes long. Seriously, add a meet-cute and throw in some serious but not too serious issue as the Obstacle That Must Be Overcome For True Love and we’ve got a movie I would watch again and again (and again and again).

p.s. Alicia should have it written into all of her contracts that she must appear at least once on screen in a suit.

p.p.s. Looks like YouTube removed the video, so here is a preview.

Gender Fuck Thursday

It’s been a hell of a year – emphasis on hell. So I think you deserve some women in suits and ties. And in black and white, no less. Consider it an attempt to right some of the cosmic imbalance of this year. It’s not much, but we have to take our joy wherever we can find it.

Robin Wright

She looks great in a tank top, she looks great in a suit, looks great in the Oval Office.

Lena Headey

I would watch a 12-hour documentary of just Lena walking around in this suit, vest, pants combo. I really would.

Janelle Monae

Not to be demanding, but I want Janelle to start wearing more suits out in public again.

Alicia Vikander

I may not be 100 percent sold on her as Lara Croft yet. But in this suit I’m willing to listen.

Myrna Loy

Vintage Gender Fuck is my no-so-secret favorite.

Patricia Clarkson

The first time I saw her in a film I thought she was German. And also a lesbian. And possibly a heroin addict.

Tessa Thompson

I demand a standalone Valkyrie movie.

Crofting New Heroes

Right, so let’s get into this new “Tomb Raider” trailer. When the reboot of the action franchise was announced I was a big, “M’k. I guess.” I also thought Alicia Vikander was a tad slight to fill Angelina Jolie’s combat boots. But then I saw her abs and I was like, “K. Give it a chance.” And now that I’ve seen the first trailer I’m like, “OK. Imma probably see this.”

It’s not necessarily that seeing Alicia Katniss Everdeening her way through the jungle in a tank top has sold me. I mean, it’s not terrible. This looks like your pretty standard action-adventure, world-saving, evil-defeating storyline. But with one, make that two, very important differences that make it not standard in the least. One, of course, is that it is an action-adventure, world-saving, evil-defeating storyline centered around a female lead. This is Lara Croft’s story, yet Lara Croft is among only a handful of female action hero franchises to make it to the big screen – period. Ripley from “Aliens,” Sarah from “Terminator,” Selene from “Underworld,” Alice from “Resident Evil,” Katniss from “Hunger Games,” Rey from “Star Wars” and Furiosa from “Mad Max” (dear movie gods, please, more Furiosa, please…), deserve more sisters. So if we want more of them, we should support the ones we have.

And, on secondary note, it’s nice to see her male sidekick (secondary hero?) is an Asian actor. Not too many of those in major American film franchises either. Create a more diverse array of heroes, create more interesting array of stories – period.

So bring on the new Lara Croft. Long may she run, jump, punch, kick, shoot, swing and reign at the box office. And may many, many, many, many more ladies who do the same come behind her.

p.s. I’ve included a little video of Alicia Vikander training to get into Lara Croft fighting shape. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing. Ahem.

Ab Raider

Oh, please, like I was the only lesbian frantically Googling “Alicia Vikander abs” this weekend. When the Swedish actress was tapped to star as Lara Croft in the new “Tomb Raider” reboot I thought she was a little slight for the role. And I’m not just talking body shape, but height and just stature. But then it’s near impossible to follow in Angelina Jolie’s combat boots. Still, I have to give her credit, she is definitely trying to make up for it with her devotion to crunches. Like, dayum girl. Imma do my laundry on those things.



p.s. While these abs are insanely impressive, they still are no Missy Peregrym getting out of the ice bath in “Stick It.”