Some Tuesday

Well, it is Tuesday after all. And we’ve almost made it through another January. The start of the year always gets me in my existential feelings. Something about the restart of the calendar sits heavier with each passing year. Typically, it means a bit of the doldrums as I navigate through winter’s grasp. So for whatever reason this trailer about a mother-daughter and a talking parrot/Harbinger of Death just hit. The film by first-time feature director Daina Oniunas-Pusic received solid reviews for her debut at Telluride last year. So I plan to watch this whenever it comes out with a tub of ice cream and a crate of Kleenex. And, good news, at least we know it won’t be released in January.

p.s. I promise I’ll share the fun from last weekend seeing Tina & Amy a little later. Promise, promise. (But in a less tragic way, I also promise.)

I Wanna Elaine Dance With Somebody

Let’s be honest, the week after a holiday is always hard. Like, it’s only Wednesday? Seriously? So here is a collective cathartic moment of shaking-it-out/doing The Elaine Dance for you to enjoy and rejuvenate yourself with this Hump Day. Yeah, you deserve this. Let is all hang out, kittens. And don’t forget to work those thumbs.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Ugh, you guys. Republican Convention week is always such a struggle to get through. It’s a reminder that there is a huge, vocal and angry swath of society that still really, really doesn’t like us. They don’t like gay people. They don’t like brown people. They don’t like women. They really, really don’t like Hillary Clinton. They also don’t seem to like facts or original material. It’s terribly disheartening, to be honest. So tonight, instead of watching yet another rich, mediocre white man in a suit accept his party’s nomination for president, please enjoy all these glorious suits on a diverse group of women – and one exquisite space alien. What? How else do you describe Tilda Swinton?

Janelle Monae

It should be illegal for her to wear something other than a suit.

Kate Bosworth

Cannot look away.

Maggie Smith

Dowager Countess got swagger, yo.

Ming-Na Wen

If you tell me “Agents of SHIELD” is just Ming-Na kicking ass in a suit I will start watching again.

Lupita Nyong’o

Who wore it…

Viola Davis

…better?
Forget that, I’m convinced this is the same suit and they stole it from each other after spending the night.

Milla Jovovich

I had the craziest urge to watch “The Fifth Element” again recently.

Charlotte Rampling

Yep, yes – everything about this. Yes.

Queen Latifah

Also yes to everything about this.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

I’d vote for that.

Tilda Swinton

From space alien to Bowie doppelganger, get you a Swinton who can do both.

SGALGG: Globes Edition

You didn’t think I’d let a big fancy dress up party with shiny trophies go by without a heaping helping of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Granted, the evening had Gay Gals Acting Like Out Gay Gals thanks to Jodie Foster. (p.s. Love how the camera operator panicked when the gay stuff started and panned to the nearest lesbian, Jane Lynch.) Still, nothing like a bunch of fancy frocks to make a gal feel pretty and witty and gay. And they ladies spread the love around liberally this year. And with so many lovelies about, wouldn’t you too?

Anne Hathaway & Amanda Seyfried

The way they were snuggling on the stage during “Les Miserables’” big win made me think we had secretly crashed their wedding.

Anne Hathaway & Jessica Chastain

Well, I’d want a hug with those arms, too, Anne.

When hugging it out doesn't do it, by all means resort to kissing it out.

Lena Dunham & Girls

It's mandatory for all winning costars to snuggle at the Globes. I approve.

Lena Dunham & Julia Louis-Dreyfus

I find a big smooch soothes a los quite well, too.

Vanessa Hudgens & Selena Gomez

Once the envy of tween girls everywhere, now the object of affection of an entirely different group of girls – tweens and otherwise.

Vanessa Hudgens & Ashley Tisdale

They look like guests attending Anne and Amanda’s wedding.

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

NOW KISS, TIMES INFINITY.

Tina & Amy Redux

This is what I imagine they look like after the aforementioned mandatory makeout session.

Thandie Newton & Lucy Liu

Yet another couple of invitees to the Hathaway-Seyfried nuptials. I wonder what they bought off the registry.

Jennifer Lopez & Jessica Alba

The girl to the left behind them is thinking one thing: Threeway!

BONUS: GGALGG

Coming out has clearly made Jodie want to do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight.

SGALGG: Emmys Edition

Oh, Emmy Awards. Each year I have such high hopes that only the most deserving will wing and each year something like Jon Cryer happens. And I even used to love Duckie. While they’re not always the most merit wothy of meritocracies, they are almost always a great source of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Like whatever is happening here between Sofia Vergara, Sofia Vergara’s mom and Julie Bowen. Well, Julie did go on about sister wives in her award speech. So keeping it all in the family must just come naturally. A few more SGALGG moments from this year’s Emmys which merit your attention.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus & Amy Poehler

Even Julia thought it was a shame Amy didn’t win. But at least they hugged it out.

Lucy Liu & Julianne Moore

In my head, Julianne just told Lucy she wanted to see her Russia in her house. Are those euphemisms? You betcha.

Jessica Lange & Connie Britton

You can’t blame Connie for taking a shot at Jessica. In fact you’re probably a little jealous.

Morena Baccarin & Claire Danes

While nothing overtly SGALGG-y is happening here, you have to believe the magnificent V in Morena’s dress is giving Claire pause.

Amy Poehler & Tina Fey

If I can’t marry My Fake TV Wife, then I want Amy to have her and I want them to make the funniest babies in all the world together.

Ginnifer Goodwin, Emily VanCamp & Julie Bowen

Julie just made Ginnifer and Emily and offer they can’t refuse.

Katee Sackhoff & Tricia Helfer

What happens in the photobooth rarely every just happens in the photobooth. Ahem.

Christina Hendricks

While she isn’t doing anything gay, she is certainly making a lot of new gays just by sitting there.

Sarah Paulson

This is what I call a Gay Gal Acting Like a Gay Gal. I mean, really, look at how excited she is at the sight of sensible shoes.

Sofia Vergara & Julie Bowen

Screw Jay and Phil. Think how big a hit “Modern Family” would be if we got to see Gloria and Claire do this every week.

NSFW BONUS

So Sofia Vergara suffered a bit of a wardrobe malfunction right before “Modern Family” took home the Emmy for best comedy. I think this might be proof there is a benevolent God, and she loves us lesbians.

Move over, HBrO

HBO – the network of “The Sopranos” and “Six Feet Under” and “Deadwood” and “Entourage” and “Boardwalk Empire” and a lot of other big mostly male-centered dramatic ensembles – has two new shows coming up that decidedly kick that trend. Kick it right in the lady business. “Girls” and “Veep” are two new half-hour comedies coming to the premium cable network in April. And both are intriguing for their subject matter and the fact that they are unmistakably female-centered series. HBO really hasn’t had many of those since “Sex and the City” left the air in 2004. In fact the only one by my count before and since then has been “Enlightened” starring Laura Dern which debuted last year and will be back for its second season this year. (You can try to count “True Blood,” but let’s be honest – that show’s all about the pretty boy vampires.) Just call them HBrO.

It’s also interesting to note that rival premium channel Showtime has made a bit of a name for itself in recent years going the opposite route. They’ve created rich, complex shows centered around women. “Weeds,” “Nurse Jackie,” “United States of Tara,” “The Big C,” “Homeland” and, lest we forget, “The L Word.” So call it progress or call it wanting to recoup an ignored segment of the market share, HBO is hopping on the estrogen train.

Now, I’m intrigued by both shows. The first is “Girls,” debuting April 15. It’s from filmmaker Lena Dunham. It’s title is fairly self-explanatory. It follows four young 20something women as they navigate, more life fumbling through, life in New Your City. The trailer looks promising, but also makes me cringe like crazy. Because you couldn’t pay me to be 24 again either. Especially 24 like this.

My only qualms about this show are 1) the cringe factor – I’m not sure how much I want to relive the mistakes of youth played out for laughs and 2) Four women in New York City and no one has a friend of a different ethnicity? That’s a lotta white girls for the biggest melting pot in the United States of America.

The other show is “Veep,” debuting April 22. It stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the first female vice president. And Anna Chlumsky is also a series regular, so that answers the question of “What every happened to that girl from 'My Girl'?” From the trailer it looks pretty damn funny. I wasn’t really sold on the premise alone, but after watching the clips I’m setting my DVR.

Like a zanier “The West Wing,” but without the sneaking suspicion that President Bartlet did a crappy job raising Charlie Sheen.

Like their slogans says, it’s not TV, it’s ladies on HBO – finally.