My Weekend Crush

What should you do when the President of the United States points his stubby little finger at a female reporter just doing her job and says, “Quiet, piggy” for all the cameras and world to see?

Yeah, you know what to do. Because fuck that motherfucker. Or, Bill fucker? So let them fly, ladies. Though which style you do it, well, that’s entirely up to you.

The Double Cersei

The Smile & Bird

The Smile & Double Bird

The Look Away

The Emmy Worthy

The Oscar Worthy

The Early 2000s

The Billionaires Are So Cringe

The O.G.

So, yeah, fuck that motherfucker. Happy weekend, all.

The Carol Effect

They say three makes a trend. And here we have three lesbian romances coming to our big screens. I call it the Carol Effect, this new slew of movies about ladies who love ladies is – of course – very welcome. The films are in various stages of production from the just announced to the already finished. I have no idea which will be good or even great or remotely worth passing the torch from “Carol.” But I am happy to handicap the field here, based on gloved lunch possibilities.

“Tell It to the Bees”

Just announced this week, the period drama is based on the book by the same name by Fiona Shaw. Set in 1950s small-town Britain it stars Anna Paquin as a young doctor who returns home to take over her late father’s practice who starts a relationship with a young mother, played by Holliday Grainger. A 50s lesbian romance? We are talking major glove lunch opportunities.

“Disobedience”

Completed and set to premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival in September, this film is based on a novel by the same name by Naomi Alderman and is set in present-day London. It stars Rachel Weisz as a rabbi’s daughter who returns home after her father’s death (hold up, I sense a theme) and then rekindles a relationship with her friend, played by Rachel McAdams. From set photos, they may be wearing gloves, but somehow I don’t think they’ll be ordering poached eggs over creamed spinach for lunch anytime soon.

“Vita & Virginia”

Apparently still in pre-production, this film is based on the lives and love of literary greats Virginia Woolf and author Vita Sackville-West. The writers first met each other in 1922 and they had a decade-long affair. Eva Green ETA: Elizabeth Debicki will play Woolf and Gemma Arterton will play Sackville-West. A love story set in the roaring 20s? Gloves lunches and flapper skirts galore!

So, which lesbian (or bisexual – I don’t know how everyone personally identifies) romance are you most excited about? And, yes, I realize these are all very white couplings. Bring a little color into your romances, Hollywood. Alas, baby steps. Still, be sure to remember to lay a fresh glove on your “Carol” alter at home in thanks of this cinematic bounty.

My Weekend Crush

It’s in the eyes. Eva Green’s eyes are everything. They’re huge, but not in that doe-eyed way of ingénues. Instead they pierce through everything with their unblinking blue. They smolder, like Eva smolders, on screen – just daring you to look away. But, of course, you can’t. Eva has been fascinating us for years now. First as a “Dreamer” then as a Bond girl, as Miss G and a lady of “Camelot.” But now, as the mysterious Vanessa Ives, it is downright dangerous to ignore her. Eva is spectacular in “Penny Dreadful.” I’ve raved about the show already (gothic horror creeptasticness). But Eva deserves even more as Miss Ives. Enigmatic, haunted, powerful – everything she is flashes through her eyes. Combine that with the magnificent architecture of her face and, well, you have a woman to be reckoned with. Hell, she might even be “A Dame to Kill For.” Happy weekend, all.

Not at all Dreadful

You guys, you guys – are you watching “Penny Dreadful?” You’re not? YOU’RE NOT?? Oh, girl, you should. Because the Showtime gothic thriller is the most unexpectedly, delightfully queer show of the summer. How gay? Well, Josh Harnett just totally got it one with a dude in the last episode. (Dorian Gray, no less.) So, you know, pretty damn gay. The series is part horror, part mystery, all scary and totally good. Granted, there are far too many SPIDERS for my liking. But, still, if you can get past the creepy and crawly, it’s totally worth it.

Two Sentence Synopsis: A British aristocrat teams with a mysterious woman, American gunslinger and Dr. Frankenstein to find his daughter, who just might be under the thrall of Dracula. Yeah, really.

Part of the reason the show is so good is because it comes from veteran Oscar-nominated screenwriter John Logan. His previous credits include “The Aviator,” “Gladiator,” “Hugo” and many others. The first-time TV creator and showrunner is also an out gay man. So that may account for the refreshing equality of male and female nudity in the series. I mean, I’m pretty sure we’ve seen more dude butts than female breasts and we’re half way through the season.

The other reason the show is so good is because of Eva Green. The French actress has always had an other-worldly look – that pale skin, those big eyes, that chiseled face. And in “Penny Dreadful,” every inch of her facial real estate is explored and appreciated. As the mysterious woman, Vanessa Ives, she is the enigmatic figure in black with a strange connection to the darker side of life. She is, quite simply, very good in this.

(Billie Piper is also in the series, and she ain’t bad either. Not bad at all.)



While the series has given us full-on male-on-male sexual fluidity, it has yet to deliver on the ladies side. But there is a sliver of subtext to be scrounged from Vanessa’s past relationship with the missing daughter, Mina (above). Yes, Mina - a lot of these names are going to sound pretty familiar.

At times, I’ll be honest, I have really no idea what’s happening. But it’s that clever unfurling of the story, with touchstones of iconic horror figures interspersed, that makes it so thrilling. Also, Victorian gothic horror stories are just cool. So there’s that.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Shirtless Edition

They say no shirt, no shoes, no service. But in cases like these if you’re wearing no shirt, there’s no way you’re not getting serviced. Rimshot! Hey, it can’t all be high brow. Sometimes it’s just about the exquisite pleasure of a lady wearing a nice jacket without a nice shirt. And if that lady happened to be wearing a lovely garter set underneath, like Kirsten Dunst – well, that’s some extra special service coming up right there. Extra special, indeed.

Catherine Zeta-JonesBest black-tie optional attire ever.

RihannaOne of my goals in life is to have vacations like Rihanna.

Anne HathawayPeople seem worried about whether the new Catwoman will be sexy enough. I have to say, I’m not overly worried.

Keira KnightleyI wish Keira would go back to the short hair. You don’t know how much.

Eva GreenFrench women, amirite?

Amber HeardLots of you seemed concerned about informing me that Amber is now single. Good to know, very good.

Tilda SwintonRight, like one of these would be complete without a little Swinton.

Lauren Hutton & Christy TurlingtonI find shirtlessness most fun in pairs, too.

Demi MooreWell, I never said she needed to be wearing a jacket, too.

Naked Lady Monday

Oh, shit. It’s Monday again. But wait, naked ladies. There, all better. Sometimes, kittens, it’s just that simple. I mean, if our beautiful friend Freida Pinto above doesn’t improve your day exponentially, then I’m not sure anything will. But why am I still talking? Happy NSFWish Monday.

Emmanuelle BeartDid you know Emmanuelle is 47? French women apparently don’t age, either.

Eva GreenThough French women do, in the immortal words of Sir Mix-A-Lot, got back.

Anna FrielSeriously, I still miss “Pushing Daisies” so much.

Jenna FischerYou always have to look out for the nice ones.

Cobie Smulders

I don’t watch her show. Why don’t I watch her show?

Keira KnightleyWell, now I can see why the thought of never having Keira would drive that poor bloke with the flashcards to go fight zombies instead.

Sarah Shahi

I have never enjoyed a Monday more. Ever.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Gosh you know what we haven’t done in a while? A nice long, slow gender fuck. But you know how I like to keep things classy around here, right? So how about we do it in black and white. Yeah, just like that. Some things you don’t need to over think. Or, more accurately, images like above of Christina Hendricks in a dress shirt and tie make it difficult for me to think.

Charlize Theron
Nicole Kidman


Drew Barrymore
Eva Green


Filippa Hamilton
Cate Blanchett


Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista
Kristen Wiig

In case that last image looks familiar, it should. That’s Yves Saint Laurent’s iconic Le Smoking tuxedo.

Now, If only they’d used this NSFW (Alert: NSFW!) pose instead. Next time, next time.

So, was it good for you?