Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Paging Ellen

So, I finally watched the last of the five Best Picture Oscar nominees yesterday* and can I just say thank fucking God for Ellen Page. Holy crap, if it wasn’t for “Juno,” you’d be left with a decidedly nihilistic view of humanity and possibly some suicidal feelings (or homicidal ones, depending on if you’re an internalizer or an externalizer). Granted, all the films were well done and nicely acted. But, damn, so much for finding the best in people.

But back to Ellen. On Thursday, Ellen turns 21 (happy early birthday!) and already she graces the March cover of Interview magazine. Whoever decided to pose her in a tux and boys briefs is a genius and my new personal hero. And, yes, I am ignoring the age difference that borders on creepy. Just go with it. Drew Barrymore (her upcoming director in the roller-derby flick “Whip It!”) conducted the interview. Celebrities interviewing celebrities, it’s a fame clusterfuck. Somewhere a journalist is weeping. Especially after reading Drew’s first question: “What do you believe in?” Man, how much do I wish Ellen had answered: “The Easter Bunny.” And then Drew asks the old job interview stand-by: “And what about the next five years? What are your aspirations?” The kicker: “What’s your favorite color in the Crayola box?” Aspirin. I need aspirin. Don’t get me started on how Drew keeps inserting her own stories into the questions. Argh. But I digress.

The lovely tidbits (Drew’s questioning not withstanding) include that Ellen adores Kate Winslet, named her dog after Patti Smith (and said about her, “the whole combat boot, black jeans, shaggy salt-and-pepper hair, spitting on stage thing. If that’s not sexy I don’t know what is”), and would trade places for a day with Peaches or Karen O. Gaydar sufficiently dinged. Oh, and just in case you wanted a visual on the Ellen loves Patti stuff, here she is posing as Patti. God, how much do I love a woman in a suit?*NOTE: In case you were wondering, “There Will Be Blood” was the last one I had left to catch. Yeah, bleak.


gypsywee said...

The "tingle" Ms. Snarker, the tingle...what's it sayin'? Come on girl, gimme something! Aw...I think I know your "tingle" is telling you the same thing as my kitty "twitch." Fuck yeah! Ellen rules!

edgyqueen said...

I was going to wait to see Juno until it came out on DVD. Now, because of these ADORABLY sexy pictures, I'm going to have to spend $9 to see it at the theater!

Anonymous said...

LAST of the best pic condenders?!? I.am.shocked! I would've thought it'd be the first!

Also, she'll be on Ellen on Friday so tune in (not to mention SNL a week after Tina Fey!).

TheWeyrd1 said...

Dorothy, it's a good thing Ellen's previous movie "Hard Candy" was not the one up for best picture or you would have been extra depressed about humanity. Thanks for bringing us the pics!

Amanda said...

Amazing... a possible lesbian that theoretically I could date... damn. So cute!


MissAkilahC said...


She is so my type it hurts.
I'm in LA for another 7 months... Time Gunn style: "Make it work"

dc said...

Yes, I've seen the Patti Smith pose before...always makes me smile.

Looking at it again, she looks as if she might have been...uhm...14 at the time? OMG!

Linda said...

Check out her appearance on Letterman, should still be on Youtube. Letterman looks like he can't believe he has a woman with a brain sitting in the chair. She's smart AND funny. Saw Juno for the second time this weekend. On Oscar night I'll be wearing my swag t-shirt that says, "Paulie Bleeker is totally boss" cuz Juno sez so! Awesome film!

MLC said...

Thud. oops.

Thud. oops.


(hit browser go back button)

slacker said...

She was my fav X-er as Kitty Pryde in the 3rd X film. She totally rocked and scared me in Hard Candy. I could be geeky and admit I've seen her in Marion Bridge (a film with minor lesbian undertones...not related to Ms. Page's character) and Pit Pony, but who'd want to be that geeky?

I would say where were the chicks like her when I was younger...but I guess I had Jodie.

Lezlie Mac said...

so much for little Drew Barrymore, outwitted by *thud* Ellen Page
Juno is just one big fuzzy happy hilarious moment

and has *thud* Patti Smith -the younger version- in it
tks for the pics !

MissAkilahC said...

ok, so i don't comment twice, but Drew Barrymore pisses me off, and I really think I might be in love with Miss Page.