My Weekend (Blogiversary) Crush

Well, here we are. Twenty years. 2-0. Two decades. Or, to put it another way, a long-ass time. Today marks my 20th blogiversary. Which feels crazy to say out loud but, again, here we are. As you’ve no doubt noticed, my writings have gotten a little shorter as the years have gone longer. And, yeah, I can be a little more hit-and-miss with posts these days too. But here we still are. Still crazy after all these years. Mostly, what I want to say, and what I always want to say, is thank you. Thank you for still reading, still visiting, still commenting, still sharing and still being the lovely and generous kittens you are. I appreciate you for coming back and caring. I will continue writing, and sharing all my big – and small – gay feelings and thoughts with you. Still crazy about queer pop culture after all these years, together. Because even 20 years later, representation still matters. Happy weekend, all.

Happy Blogiversary To Us

Well, well, well. Look who is another year older. Today is my 18th blogiversary which, whew. For real, WHEW. Way back in 2006 I had this crazy idea to start a blog and I just never stopped. Sure, it can be slightly more sporadic these days (life, man). But here we all are, 18 years later, still hanging out and talking about hot, talented ladies whether they be in tank tops or nicely tailored suits or whatever else sparks our facies. I will say in the 18 years since I pressed “publish” on Blogger for the first time, we have a lot more out queer women to celebrate, which is a welcome sign of progress. But just as apparent is the constant need to fight against the backwards riptides wanting to drag us back into the past and into the closet. To which I say with all sincerity, fuck those regressive, hateful troglodytes forever. But this post isn’t about them. They aren’t invited to this birthday party. It’s about you. I wouldn’t still be writing here (almost) every day without you. You’ve helped me get through the unrelenting rollercoaster of life – breakups, deaths, and yeah divorce. And together we’ve celebrated the good times too. So, here’s to Ye Olde Blogge being finally old enough to vote. I’ll keep writing as long as you keep reading. Eighteen freaking years. As I was saying, whew. Thanks for everything, kittens.

Music Monday: Happy Blogiversary To Me

Well, well, well. Seventeen years. Almost old enough to vote. But still too young for a cocktail. America, you weirdo about ages. Anyway, it’s my Blogiversary today. Seventeen years ago I decided, gosh, a blog might be fun to write. I can do that. And here we are. I want to thank everyone, as always, for coming back and reading day after day after week after month after year after years. I always want to thank everyone for your stunningly generous support through My Little Life Implosion and its subsequent Fund.

I won’t lie, things are still tough sometimes. More times than I’d like, obviously. And I am still working my way through my inbox and various thank yous because sometimes a seemingly simple task feels altogether impossible. I’ve always had the “impossible task” I’ve dreaded and procrastinated about throughout my life. During high school it was the AP summer school classes I took to get ahead (basically, it meant I felt guilty all summer long for not studying for the end-of-summer test). Like I was saying, I’m working on it.

Right, so, all that was probably too much information about my life. But I just wanted to again thank you for coming back and reading my takes on pop culture and politics and the universe et al. And, if by chance you feel like tipping your host again this blogiversary, well, I will always be thankful for your generosity in all of its forms. I might not get around to saying thank you explicitly like I should. But know, please, how deeply thankful I am for all of the community, support and warm wishes.

How to Donate:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

p.s. Did I deliver on my month-long Music Monday 90s theme with some bookend Alanis or what? And Naked Alanis at that. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush (It’s You, You’re the Crush)

There’s a lot not to like about this world. War. Poverty. Racism. Sexism. Homophobia. Transphobia. So much inequality. All concepts we tiny humans invented on our very own, and continue to foster despite the best efforts of those fighting for equality.

These days it seems very much like only the billionaires will inherit the earth.

But, despite the sinking feeling that we’re all just faceless serfs making a new breed of oligarchs somehow even richer (like, I have $44 billion lying around to buy a tech platform that’s been annoying me rich), some things still matter. How we treat other people. Who we include. What we do to help one another.

I’ve always tried, in my own very humble and very small way, to create a place for joy and solidarity here. I don’t always get things right, not by a long shot. But I do hope this lil old blog brings people together and makes them at least a tiny bit happier each day. I guess, in the end, my goal has always been for people to feel a little less lonely. Less alone. I know you’ve done that for me.

So if you’re a queer pop culture fanatic (or anything along the alphabet spectrum or even, you know, straight) who also loves a women in a tank top (in a respectful way, ahem), well, you’ve found your people. Also, if you like the occasional foray into progressive, feminist and global politics, well, grab a comfy chair, we have been waiting for you.

I guess I’ve just been thinking about the world a lot recently (Elon isn’t the only one having some kind of public midlife crisis, I guess). And I suppose you could sum up my worldview as trying to do the most good, for the most people, most of the time. Obviously, this isn’t always possible. And, sometimes we do seemingly selfish things because we also need moments that are just for ourselves. That’s just part of being human, too. But to do the most good for the most people most of the time, yeah, that’s the goal.

So, anyway, maybe this is just a incredibly rambly way of saying thank you for all of the blogiversary love last weekend. You have ever so kindly donated enough to buy that new laptop (when it goes on sale, because I am also a prudent steward of your hard-earned cash). I am very excited and also a teeny bit grumpy about having to learn a new machine because, again, I have mentioned I’m old right? Mostly 16 years of doing this makes you think. I hope this little space made a dent in all the noise for some of you. And I thank you for staying with me across all the these various vibe shifts or whatever the youngs are calling it now. At least we’re still crazy (dreamers) after all these years together.

Also, tax the fucking rich.

Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Blogiversary

Well, kittens, Ye Olde Blogge has made it another year around the sun. As of this coming Sunday, Dorothy Surrenders will be 16 years old. This baby can drive! It’s crazy to think that it’s my longest non-familial commitment. (With all apologies to my wife, who I met 6 years into writing Surrenders already. Ahem.)

So for this blogiversary I am sheepishly going to do another, small fundraiser. You see, I’ve been cranking out Surrenders on the MacBook I bought from my first fundraiser back in 2012. Yes, I am still working on a 10-year-old laptop, folks. But at least it has ports and slots without needing to buy an additional dongle (that’s just a grumble for Apple, not for any of you). Anyway, it’s way past time I finally buy a new one and with a little help from you, dear readers, I hope to do so soon.

I think I’ve almost been writing this blog long enough for blogs to become ironically cool again? I mean if mullets and fanny packs can come back anything is possible. But, in all seriousness, I am eternally grateful that you come back to read each day or week or month or year. I’ve long said that I write to keep myself from screaming at the television (or computer screen or news report, you get the idea).

What I remain forever thankful for is your support and your readership. It humbles me that so many of you have been around for so long, years and a decade-plus even for some of you. I know being able to write Surrenders has helped me learn and develop and become what I hope is the best version of myself. I was a shy child and a shy young adult and am now a somewhat less shy full grown adult — and I attribute a lot of that to being part of an online LGBTQ+ community that had nurtured and supported my work and my growth. So thank you, kittens, from the bottom of my not entirely inky black heart.

Anyway, if you feel like donating or have a few bucks you can donate to my Venmo - @Dorothy-Snarker. I first used Venmo last year when I put up a digital tip jar for my 15th blogiversary, and so many of you were so lovely and so generous. Thank you again.

I realize this probably leaves out all you international kittens, which stinks. But I don’t have another payment service that will go to my Dorothy Snarker account unfortunately. (If you have suggestions for international donation mechanisms that would reveal only my pen name instead of legal name, let me know.)

But even if you don’t donate, I’m just happy you keep coming back here to read and share and grow and (respectfully) ogle hot women in tank tops. Thanks for 16 years.

p.s. If you do make a donation (and thank you in advance, though again no one should feel obligated to do so), please mark it an anniversary gift for future tax purposes. We could avoid all of this if they’d just tax billionaires properly.

My Weekend Blogiversary

I don’t know when it officially becomes gauche to celebrate your own blog anniversaries in public. And, honestly, some years I forgot about the date myself. But this Saturday will mark my 15th year writing Dorothy Surrenders. I started it way back in 2006 because why let the boys have all the fun? And here we are all those years and sweeps lesbian kisses and very special gay episodes and celebrity outings and celebrity guestbians and all that fighting, fucking, crying, drinking and everything else later still at it. Geez, you’d think we’d learn. Well this year – as with each passing day, week, month and year – I am thankful for you continuing to stop by or perhaps finding me for the first time.

I’ve said it many times before, but I write Surrenders to get the things I yell at the television (and world/universe/et al) out of my head. That folks come by to read it has been one of the great rewards of my life. And, because I am Gen X for life, I have steadfastly never put ads on my site – despite offers – because I’m no sellout, man! (*dances furiously to “My Sharona” in a gas station*)

Still I have been asked over the years how people can tip me. But aside from the one campaign I ran to buy this very laptop (yes, I’m still using it all these years later), there really haven’t been any ways to do it. But this year I thought, why not. So if you feel so inclined, feel free to tip your friendly neighborhood lesbian blogger. My Venmo is @Dorothy-Snarker or you can use my email dorothysnarker@yahoo.com. You are, of course, under no obligation to contribute. I’m just happy you’ve liked processing all things lesbian pop culture and then some with me for these past 15 years. Here’s to many more years of queering the internet together. Happy weekend, all.

Days of Our Lesbians

It was a big news week for us gay ladies. Some of it mere rumor, some of it true facts. K-Stew may or may not be dating her lady BFF. Naya Rivera may or may not be fired from “Glee.” Michelle Rodriguez may or may not have broken up with her model girlfriend Cara Delevingne. Queen Latifah definitely wants to star in a biopic about bisexual singer Bessie Smith helmed by out “Pariah” director Dee Rees. Sarah Silverman definitely is playing a lesbian on the new season of “Masters of Sex.” And Ellen Page most very definitely looks hot on the cover of Flare magazine. And wasn’t it just last week Jodie Foster got married to Ellen DeGeneres’ ex-girlfriend? EVERYTHING HAPPENS SO MUCH.

These are heady times to be a gay lady, indeed.

I kid, of course. I mean the definitelys are definitely positive. Thought, dammit, does this mean I have to start watching “Masters of Sex” again? But mostly I just want to say what an interesting time we live in. When I started this blog eight (yes – EIGHT) years ago, it seemed only a pipe dream that so much news about out lesbian actresses/lesbian and bisexual characters/rumored lesbians would happen in less than a week. Speaking of those eight years ago, I realize I missed my eighth blogiversary last Thursday. So I’ll blame my last weekend lapse in posting on unconscious anniversary partying. And, as I do every year, I want to thank you all for sticking around all this time. Heady times, indeed.

p.s. I claim absolutely no knowledge of the veracity of the “may or may not” items. I am Jon Snow, I know nothing.

p.s. I really wasn’t kidding about how great Ellen Page looks in Flare. I feel old and skeevy just thinking about it.

Seven-Year Surrender

Seven years and nary an itch. Luckily also no burning. Well, mostly no burning. Today is the seventh – yes, seven fucking years – blogiversary of Dorothy Surrenders. I’ve been writing whatever damn things pop into my head – high art, low art, mediocre art, politics, feminism, tank tops, naked ladies, ladies in suits and pretty much everything and anything pertaining to gay ladies – for seven damn years. I must be nuts.

But, as always, I couldn’t go it without you guys. Well, I probably could – but it would be so much lonelier. Instead, thanks to you, it feels like a little community. A tiny little corner of the series of tubes dedicated to pop culture, gay women and anywhere the two intersect. And I owe you all an enormous thanks. You gals (and discerning guys) are the reason I keep posting day after day after day, even when I’m not quite sure what to write about, even when I’m not quite sure I even feel like writing. Because I love sharing with you. Thank you, and you, and, yes, even you.

A quick update on some housekeeping: Yes, I suck. I am still working on completing the perks. I have no excuse other than life gets busy. But I am going to fulfill all the perks as promised. I have the postcards sitting on my dining room table guilting me every single day. They say, what the hell, Snarker? Why do you suck? Send us out already. And I will. Along with the rest of the remaining perks. Ugh, have I mentioned I suck?

But you guys, you definitely don’t suck. So, please, on this seventh anniversary of me saying, “Hey, I should start a blog,” please accept my continual thanks. To quote Ruth to her Idgie, “This is the best birthday I ever had.” Well, the best seventh blogiversary at the very least. So have a slice of big gay cake. And who feels like skinny dipping?

My Weekend Blogiversary

So this week – Tuesday to be exact – was my six – yes, SIX – year anniversary writing Dorothy Surrenders. Six years. Holy tea and crumpets. That’s a lot of years. In that time I could have graduated from college on a super slow track, earned a PhD in something nerdy or at the very least taught myself to play “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar. But instead I was here, with you, shooting the shit about gay stuff and TV stuff and movie stuff and hot lady stuff. And you know what, I wouldn’t change a thing. Nope, not a thing.

The thing is, writing this blog every day (minus weekends, because I’m not a machine people) has been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. It’s been an outlet for all the things that bounce around my skull and otherwise keep me up at night. It’s been a way to find community, a way to find friends, a way to find opportunities. In short, it has been great. And even when it’s not so great, it’s been damn great. And that’s really because of all of you. Without you I’d just be another crazy lady on the series of tubes. I mean, I am that already, but because of you I know I’m not alone and we can all share in the craziness together. So thank you. Thank you, thank you for coming to my little corner of The Internets and spending some time with me every day.

This blogiversary, I’ve even got some news to share. First, I wanted to announce (finally – God I’m terrible at these things) the winner of the Rachel Maddow autographed copy of “Drift.” Congratulations @jenbattistella. Please check your email.

Second, I am coming out of my self-imposed witness protection program and will be speaking at the BlogHer conference in New York City this year. Yes. Me. In the flesh. For realsies. No tag backs. Come see me if you’re in the Big Apple August 3.

And third, I’ll be launching a Kickstarter to raise a little technical upgrade funds (i.e. I desperately need a new laptop and various accessories) next month. This is a tricky one, because I’ve never made a penny off of Dorothy Surrenders in the six years I’ve been writing. And I have steadfastly refused to put advertising on the site, because I believe it’s important to keep a few ad-free spaces on the internet where people can be creative without secretly trying to sell you life insurance. But a lady’s also gotta make a little scratch to keep the lights on. So if you’ve got a couple bucks, tuck it under your mattress for me and consider donating once the Kickstarter launches. Also I’ll have some cool incentives to share.

Right, so that’s that. Six years in the bag. Thanks for reading, my friends. You’ve made all the sleepless nights worth it. As always, I love hearing from you. So if you feel like saying hi let me know where you’re reading from and how much of the past six years you’ve been wasting here with me.

p.s. Yep, that’s me and my cuticles.

My Weekend Blogiversary

Kittens, holy crap. Sunday is the fifth blogiversary of Dorothy Surrenders. Five. Freaking. Years. My baby’s old enough to go to kindergarten. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it still boggles my mind that this thing I started on a whim five years is still here, and that you’re all here. Together we’ve made a happy little corner of the internet where we can talk about TV like a beloved family member and drool (respectfully) over talented women in tank tops. And, during those hive years, my have we grown. I’ve gone from having a wee blog to blogging for AfterEllen to becoming a Twittering fool and now even being a Tumblesbian. None of this has been good for my sleep patterns. But I also wouldn’t change it for anything.

In years past I’ve celebrated with milestone with a around-the-world roll call, unsolicited FAQ, The StraHOTski and ruminations on anonymity. But this year, I think I’ll give back. Yes, I’m giving you a gift on my blog birthday. See, I can’t do anything right.

We haven’t done a giveaway in a while, so let’s just see how it goes. But everyone loves free stuff, right? So, I have one copy of “Black Swan” on Blu-ray to give away. This is your chance to relive all the batshit ballerina breakdowns and hallucinatory girl-on-girl make-out sessions in beautiful hi-def in the comfort of your own home. It is a two-disc set with tons of special features and a digital copy included. And, again, this is the Blu-ray, so you’ll need a Bly-ray player or computer that plays Blu-ray of PS3 that plays Blu-ray – you get what I’m saying here. But I will happily send it to wherever in the world.

If you want to enter, leave a comment with 1) your email (feel free to spell it out if you’re worried about spam), 2) your state/country (what, I’m curious) and 3) if you really want to indulge my curiosity, how long you’ve been reading (any old timers in the five-year club?).

I’ll pick a winner at random next Friday, so feel free to enter until midnight Thursday night. I know it’s not much, and I wish I could send you all one. But this is just my little way of saying thanks for being interested in the random things that rattle through my head on a daily basis. I read all of your comments and tweets and emails and while I can’t get back to all of you as I’d like to, I appreciate them more than you’ll ever truly know. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Even if you don’t want to enter the contest, please feel free to still tell me where you’re from and how long you’ve been reading. I’d love to know.

UPDATE: The contest is now closed. Thanks for participating and the very, very kind blogiversary wishes. Y’all are the best.

My Weekend Blogiversary

So tomorrow marks my fourth blogiversary. Yep, folks, I’ve been at this for four fucking years. Dayum. They say if you give a bunch of monkeys with typewriters long enough eventually they’ll give you Shakespeare. Well, seems I need some more time with my keyboard. But, hey, it’s good to have goals. My first year, I thanked everyone from all over this big, crazy world who comes to visit every day. My second year, I wrote a completely unsolicited FAQ. Last year, OK, last year I was too busy drooling over Yvonne Strahovski in a tank top to be bothered to commemorate any dumb anniversary. But this year, I’ll address what is one of my most frequently e-mailed questions: Will you post a picture of yourself? The short answer: No. The longer answer: Still no, but that doesn’t mean I won’t at some point – maybe.

There are several reasons for this, but mostly it’s that I am an intensely private person. I was a very shy child, grew into pretty shy teenager and have spent my adult life – through chosen profession and personal work – trying to overcome the inclination. But, believe me, it’s hardwired. Still simple aversion to the spotlight isn’t the only reason. I think when you don’t know what the author looks like, it make you focus more on the words. Now, this could be good or bad depending on the quality of the words. But visuals are so powerful, they make it easy to project personality and prejudge. And finally, I stay anonymous because everyone loves a mystery. Using one’s imagination is hot.

But, in the interest of further disclosure, here are five true things about me that you may (though more than likely may not) have known:

1. I am Asian-American (but then, I’ve mentioned that before).
2. I have long hair. No, really long. OK, not Crystal Gayle long, but long.
3. I wear at least four pieces of jewelry every day: Three earrings and a silver ring I’ve had since high school.
4. I never wear dresses. The last time was to a friend’s wedding – we are no longer close.
5. I have pointy ears. Not Spock pointy, just friendly woodland elf pointy.

So there you have it – a little more about me, your humble host. As always, these kinds of milestones make me stop and reflect. I’ve spent the same amount of time writing this blog as I did in college. Man, you’d think I’d get a diploma or at the very least a bronzed beer bong or something. But, in all seriousness, it still boggles my little mind to think that what started as a whim four years ago has grown into this. I am continually and eternally thankful that you come back day after day and share your stories and humor and disagreements and joy with me. So, thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for emailing. Thank you for following me on Twitter. Four more years? We’ll see. But it has been my great pleasure to have you along with me for the last four.

Surrenders’ Terrible Twos

Oh, man, here comes trouble. Dorothy Surrenders has reached its terrible twos. Yes, that’s right, today is my blogiversary, otherwise know as the day two years ago when I thought, “Hey, it might be fun if I started a blog.” Little did I know. So very little.

Last year on my first blogday I tallied a list of posts posted, comments commented, awards lost and typos typed. If I had to do that this year, um, we’d be here until my third blogiversary. Especially on the typos part. Last year I also tried to thank every reader by country. I’d love to do the same again but there are just too many of you and too many countries. Well, that and I suck at geography. So, if you don’t mind, let me know where you’re reading from in the comments section. I’ll bust out the globe if I have to.

Needless to say, without you I’m nothing. Without you I’m just a gal sitting in front of her laptop way too much. With you I’m just a gal sitting in front of her laptop way too much, with readers. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you for dropping my little corner of the interwebs and possibly finding something you liked. Thank you for your comments. Thank you for your emails. Thank you for your votes. Thank you for your gift offers. Thank you for your marriage proposals. Oh, and you’ll get your answer when I get my ring.

This year, in lieu of a by-the-numbers report, I thought I’d do something I’ve toyed with since I started this whole crazy train 731 days ago: a FAQ. Fine, it’s not really a FAQ since no one actually asked these questions. But, too bad, I’m answering them anyway. So without any further adoing.

Ms. Snarker’s Not-So Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: How often is Surrenders updated?
A: At least once each weekday (minus vacations/national emergencies/bad hangovers). When the ladies of the L are in season, also on Saturdays.
Q: Do you comment back in the comments section?
A: No, that’s your space. Plus, I’m lazy. However, I do read, love, appreciate and encourage all comments (expect, of course, spam or hate speech).
Q: Do you really write back to emails?
A: Yes, I really write back…eventually. I respond to all emails (minus the spam, hate speech stuff, ’natch). Sometimes it takes a while, but I promise to get to you.
Q: Why answer emails but not comments?
A: Dude, I have no idea. But, you know, lines have been drawn and now it’s a rule. It’s sort of like that wearing white shoes after Labor Day thing. Who knows why it started?
Q: What’s with the potty mouth? Don’t you know that’s the sign of a small mind?
A: No shit, Sherlock.
Q: Are you Jessy Randall?
A: No. I in no way wants to besmirch Jessy’s good name. I’m certain her poems are lovely.
Q: When will you post a picture of yourself?
A: When Jodie Foster tells a reporter: “Hell yeah, I’m gay. And I fucking love it … Also, Dorothy Surrenders is my favorite blog!”

Thank you all, again, for reading. Y’all are awesome. And, of course, super sexy.

Surrenders Turns One

Despite all odds and odder technological breakdowns (not to mention the mental ones), today marks my one-year blogging anniversary. That’s right folks, Dorothy Surrenders turns one today and I couldn’t be prouder of the wee tyke. OK, so the blog still tends to drool, isn’t properly potty trained and can’t string together a coherent sentence, but baby steps, people, baby steps. Overall, it has been an eventful and rewarding year. A look at the first 365 days, by the numbers:

• 342 posts posted
• 530 comments logged
• 2 awards lost
• 7,251 typos typed

In all seriousness, I started Surrenders on a whim and now it has become a whim with readers. For whatever reason, you marvelous fools keep coming back. You come from Canada, England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece, Malta, The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Norway, Poland, Latvia, Estonia, Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Slovakia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia and Montenegro, Czech Republic, Croatia, Russia, Iceland, Turkey, Morocco, Israel, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Iran, India, China, Japan, South Korea, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines, Indonesia, Australia, New Zealand, Senegal, Namibia, South Africa, Guam, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Trinidad and Tobago, Ecuador, Venezuela, Peru, Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Panama, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Mexico and even these here United States. (If I missed your country*, my apologies and holla!) As Jenny would say, “Big kiss to you!” So pucker up, all of you. You really are the reason I do this. Well, you and the voices in my head.

*NOTE: I’ve added your countries as they’ve popped up. Yes, that includes the shamefully overlooked Iceland. Thank you one and all for the kind blogday wishes. I’m feeling this strange sensation. It’s warm. It’s fuzzy. Must…resist… Awww, dammit, it’s hard to be a misanthrope when you feel this loved.