Gender Fuck Thursday: Lucy’s Hot Masc Edition

If it wasn’t for the whole Christo-fascist takeover and oligarch-led looting of the United States government and all, it would be an awesome time to be a young lesbian. Like, you have multiple – multiple – famous queer female music artists to choose from. You have your boygenius and your Renee Rapp and your Doechii and your Chappell Roan and your Billie Eilish and your Brandi Carlile and your Janelle Monae and even your JoJo Siwa – if you’re into that sort of thing, poor dears.

So I appreciate the very specific masc aesthetic Lucy Dacus evokes in her new music video for “Best Guess.” Shot after an open casting call for hot mascs (again, what a time to be alive – except for the fascism thing), the video is an andro-queer fever dream. ER Fightmaster! Towa Bird and Muna’s Naomi McPherson proving they’re not the same person! Cara Delevigne, for some reason! Wait, is Cara masc? Like she’s got top energy, but masc? Perhaps she just magically appears whenever four or more lesbians are in a room together.

I’ve heard a little chatter criticizing the lack of body diversity and other kinds of diversity among those chosen. But still, for us old timers, I mentioned it still sometimes feels like a dream to have this much overt queerness celebrated, considered cool and lusted after in public, right?

Also, you have to tip the old beanie to Lucy for making the entire video for her ode to the love she has for her bandmate and bestie Julien Baker into the hottest masc thirst trap ever. Also, “You are my best guess at the future” is such a stunning line. Bring on the hot introverted writer lady thirst trap videos next. You know, just a suggestion.

Becoming Highsmith

Mark me down as intrigued, again, but in a gayer way. So Shailene Woodley, Cara Delevigne and Noémie Merlant will co-star in a biopic of queer novelist extraordinaire Patricia Highsmith of “The Talented Mr. Ripley” and “The Price of Salt” (you know, “Carol”) fame. Now, I love Noémie from “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” and “Tar,” of course. And I have varying degrees of affection for Cara and Shailene (like, not to get all in my 2016 feelings, but she was pretty anti-Hillary and dated Aaron “immunized” Rodgers forever so…).

Shailene will play Highsmith, and Cara and Noémie will play women she has relationships with. According to Deadline, the film will be fashioned like a horror movie which, what? Per Deadline:

“Titled The Murderous Miss Highsmith, the film will reimagine the author’s life as a horror movie, focusing on the formative period just before she wrote her most celebrated work, The Talented Mr. Ripley, which was partly inspired by her doomed relationships with two women.”

OK, well, I’m always here for more and better representation of LGBTQ+ people and queer women in particular (look, you have to root for the home team). The film is being produced by indie standouts Killer Films and be co-produced by queer indie producer extraordinaire Christine Vachon (of “Go Fish,” “Boys Don’t Cry,” “Carol” and many other great and very queer films fame). So I will definitely be watching. I’m still not sure about the horror angle, but as long as it’s super gay I will allow it. True of movies and, honestly, much of life. If it’s super gay, I’ll allow it.

Building Lesbians

Wow, that got gay right quick. If you are a fan of the how-does-this-work, it-shouldn’t-work-show “Only Murders In the Building,” you know continues to defy the odds and work well in just started second season. The Steve Martin-Martin Short-Selena Gomez murder-comedy remains one of the most charming, hilarious and at times touching shows on air. And now, with ladies kissing. Sorry, spoiler alert, there’s some kissing between Selena and new cast member/real-life Shane Cara Delevingne. It happens in the second episode. There, now you know.

I’m pretty sure that’s the reason the show’s been quickly picked up for its third season. Kidding, mostly. Cara’s casting was announced bringing speculation that her art gallery owner character Alice and Selena’s artist character Mabel would perhaps hook up. And, then it was confirmed they would indeed be an item? well, they did not make us wait. Now, I fear Alice’s sudden arrival in Mabel’s life may be tied to some grisly death/murder. Because, uh, that’s kind of the nature of this show.

I really like basically everything about this show. The chemistry between its unlikely trio of stars. The brief jaunts into magical realism. The underrated physical comedy. The theme music. The perfect nailing of crime podcast culture. And now, The Gay.

I don’t know where they plan to take Mabel and Alice’s relationship, but I certainly hope we see a lot of it.

P.s. Since you were already spoiled by moi, here’s the scene. I mean, might as well watch (rewatch) it, right?

Only Lesbians in the Building

Did I manifest lesbianism into “Only Murders in the Building?” Remember earlier this year when it was reported that the celesbian world’s real-life Shane, Cara Delevingne, was joining the second season of the murder-mystery show? And remember when I said sais they’d better make her character, described as “Alice, a sophisticated art world insider who becomes enmeshed in the mystery,” gay?

Well, turned out they did. She is. And, she is going to be the new love interest to series star Selena Gomez’s character Mabel. So, um, do I get another toaster oven? Because I believe I wished this into existence. You are welcome. I accept Venmo. (Kidding! I mean I do, but kidding.)

I really enjoyed this series for its entirely unexpected chemistry between septuagenarian comedy legends Steve Martin and Martin Short with Gomez. The dad joke energy meets disaffected millennial vibe is strong with this one, but somehow it works.

The series showrunner John Hoffman revealed the new relationship in an interview with Vanity Fair. Apparently Selena and Cara have been friends for years, and that resulted in a “quick, sexy intimacy to their onscreen rapport.”

“It was amazing to have the two of them know each other and feel comfortable. It’s a little sparky in all the right ways that makes you feel like, Oh, someone’s opening someone’s world.”

So, Alice opens up Mabel to – uh – the art world. Got it.

No matter where their storyline goes, I’m pleased to add “Only Murders in the Building” to the should-be-longer list of shows that make followed my sage advice to, “MAKE IT GAY.” I will expect a small commission.

p.s. So the Season 2 teaster trailer does not give us much Mabel/Alive gay goodness. But it does give us Shirley MacLaine (and Amy Schumer), so it is kinda forgiven. For now.

Get Cara-ed Away

I don’t know what to think of Cara Delevingne, really, other than she’s basically the real-life celebrity Shane – but with better hair and more eyebrows. But I am intrigued that she will be joining the Season 2 cast of “Only Murders in the Building,” the Hulu series starring the unexpectedly excellent trio of Selena Gomez, Steve Martin and Martin Short. It’s like who knew that if you put the world’s ultimate dad jokesters and a cool disaffected millennial together in an urbane setting with a dash of murder that they would have such great chemistry and produce such a smart, silly and even at times surprisingly sentimental show? Anyway, Cara’s new character, who will be a series regular, is described as “Alice, a sophisticated art world insider who becomes enmeshed in the mystery.” So all I’m hearing is that there is a good chance Alice will associate with Gomez’s Mabel, and there’s also a good chance Alice will be gay. So, that here is one more thing to be hopeful for in 2022. Now, bring on Season 2.

September's Non-SGALGG SGALGG

So OK, so as promised I found a couple fun SGALGG images from last month’s big swanky shindigs: The Met Gala, Emmy Awards and Tony Awards. And by “fun,” I mean “gay.” And by “gay” I mean, “Yep, they’re gay.” So here are the Not Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, and their straight-ish friends, from all of September’s fancy functions. We’re here, we’re queer – we look amazing on the red carpet.

MET GALA

Tessa Thompson & Zoe Kravitz

Sorry, Janelle. You’ve got competition.

Megan Rapinoe

Now that’s something to salute.

And, uh, same Megan when it comes to holding Venus William’s dress.

Cara Delevingne

Sadly the Shane of Celebrity Lesbianism stole this slogan from a POC creator.

Elliot Page

I truly love and am so happy for Elliot, but I think we can all also agree this suit doesn’t fit and he would look much hotter in something nicely tailored. What, I can’t help a dude out sometimes?

Kristen Stewart, Zoe Kravitz & Cara Delevingne

This is like a lesbian Renaissance painting, K-Stew reaching out and Cara watching out.

Kehlani & SZA

Like, the hand holding and leading her tho.

THE EMMYS

Lauren Morelli & Samira Wiley

Look at these two rays of sunshine. They’re genuinely one of the best thing to come out of “Orange Is the New Black.”

Billy Porter & Mj Rodriguez

Not to be corny but slay was made for moments like this.

Sarah Paulson & Beanie Feldstein

Just two women in relationships with other women handing out a shiny gold woman to someone.

Hannah Einbinder & Jean Smart

I think Hannah’s tux is really celebrating the fact she got to on-screen smooch Jean. I mean, I’d wear a tux too if I achieved such an accomplishment.

Gillian Anderson 1997 & Gillian Anderson 2021

What a difference 24 years makes, or doesn’t make.

THE TONYS

Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel

Not actually gay, but dammit if these witches don’t get me every time.

Mary-Louise Parker

Also not gay, but it’s Ruth dammit.

Lauren Patton & Guest

So Lauren (b&w suit) is gay. But also her show is controversial Dammit.

Bernadette Peters

Fine, not gay but an ICON. And, uh, this is how she looks at 73. So, please don’t swallow your tongue. Damn.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Power Top Edition

I don’t pretend to understand lesbian youth culture anymore. Watching TikTok lesbians sometimes makes me feel very, very tired. And like are Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson to baby gays in 2020 what Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were to baby gays in 2008? But you know what? The intense transferred top energy of this picture of Cara, Ashley and fellow actress/apparent power bottom Madelaine Petsch at a fashion show just made me smile. And, it being Thursday, the power suits/power trench coat in lieu of a power suit also make me smile. Get it, next generation. Get it.

Just a Little Nip

You know what? The world is crazy and more than occasionally terrifying and horrifying beyond belief. So sometimes, sometimes some completely trivial and superficial distraction is in order. And today that distraction is model-turned-actress-turned “completely in love” with another lady lady Cara Delevingne showing off her Nipple Detector skills. Note, I said superficial, not unimpressive. I mean, her co-stars Margot Robbie and Karen Fukuhara and that reporter sure seemed impressed. Hey, us queer girls know our stuff, OK?