Wilderness at Heart 2

How have we not discussed this trailer yet? Though, am I the only one annoyed by the addition of Elijah Wood? Like, I get it, shows add people in new seasons. But did it have to be a famous dude? Now his hobbity face and placid eyes will be all up in my female wilderness trauma and it just annoys me. Granted, things didn’t work out so well for Adam last season. So, if that’s the plan I will withdraw my previous complaint. But, yeah, can’t we just focus on having a phenomenal female cast for once?

Anyway, I don’t really know what’s in store for this new season. I mean we’ve already had murder, mystical woodland rituals, bear death and human popsicles, with heavy hinting at cannibalism. Speaking of new males, the trailer seems to show us a beardy fellow who might meet an untimely demise. So if in the end the person they eat is some rando forest dude instead of one of their team, honestly, I’d be here for that energy. I’m also very much here for the trailer showing off their casting department’s skill. Like, look at this masterful casting, just LOOK!

But, as a lesbian…supporter, I’m mostly here for the reunion between Taissa and Van. We got the Adult Van we wanted in Lauren Ambrose, and if you aren’t excited to watch former high school lesbian sweethearts turned wilderness survivors/possible cannibals who reunite as adults politicians/possible nerd store owners, well, it’s like we never survived a plane crash in the Canadian Rockies together or something.

Just A Wilderness Girl

Welcome to Yellowjackets week, where we rejoice in all things Yellowjackets before the show’s premiere this weekend. As one of the few new shows with queer female leads to survive the Cancel Your Gays purge (pour one out for “Willow,” the lastest victim), I can’t emphasize enough how much I want this series to succeed in its second season. And I also can’t emphasize enough how cool this cover of No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” is by Florence + The Machine. Now I’m just a girl who is a big fan of slowed down, creepified covers (see: why I watched “Stalker” much longer than I should have). So this fits the bill and then some. Plus, how can you resist the adorable cast in character lip syncing for their life? Hell yeah, ladies, let’s go eat some people in the frozen wilderness together. Happy Monday, kittens.

Out in the Wilderness

Gotta love those Gen Z stars. If yesterday was all about my Gen X feelings, today is about the exuberant joy of Gen Z-er Jasmin Savoy Brown’s coming out. The “Yellowjackets” and “Scream” star launched her new relationship on Instagram, which is now unfortunately a thing across generations but I digress. What I like about Jasmin’s post is the unbridled joy/sweet lady kisses with which she declares her new love, Anouk. I don’t know anything about Anouk, but Jasmin’s lipstick sure looks good on her. May your life be an endless parade of les bisous français, my dear. Welcome to the family. Unfortunately Ellen was in charge of toaster ovens, and she’s retired. But, you know, have one in spirit.

Wild At Heart

Oh shit, it’s almost time to go back to the wilderness. The first trailer for the second season of “Yellowjackets” gives us little answers, and lots of split-second what the hell was that instead. I tried pausing, but I don’t see any shots of Adult Van/Lauren Ambrose (though teen Van and her miraculously healed scar is visible a couple times). So, will we finally find out more about the Forest Cult, and who exactly they ate? Well, I for one can’t wait to chow down on another season.

Get in the Van

Can I call dibs on a fictional character before they even make their on screen debut? Because DIBS ON ADULT VAN. Dibs, dibs, DIBS. I was worried the show was going to turn her into one of the Wilderness Cult people. But these preview images, the first of Lauren Ambrose fully inhabiting adult Van, have put every last one of those worries at ease. Also, you are welcome for the most excellent casting suggestion, Showtime. Anyway, clearly Adult Van is no mystical forest cult member.

Instead, she’s a GEEK! A GEEK! I mean, what else could the robots and the VHS tapes mean but geekery? So, there you go, one very good thing to look forward to in 2023. Also, just to make things perfectly clear, I have called dibs.

p.s. Um, who was Van’s wilderness plastic surgeon? Because those scars look amazing. Like now all the lesbians will want to be attacked by bears to look extra rugged and hot.

Back to the Wilderness

I can’t wait for my favorite survivalist former soccer stars/probable cannibals to return and bring their dark woods magic with them. Also I cannot wait to see Adult Van played by Lauren Ambrose. Seriously a sarcastic gay ginger? I love her already. I just hope she’s not in the wilderness cult – like I get that lesbians love hiking but that’s definitely taking it too far. Come on March 24, we’re hungry.

My Weekend Crush

Even though she’s not queer/married to a perfectly nice fella, I’ve always believed Melanie Lynskey belonged to us gays. From the first time she smashed her way into our collective conscience as the quietly terrifying half of the deadly teenage wlw duo in “Heavenly Creatures,” Melanie has had at very least a queer friendly if not outright queer vein to her work. So, when queer comic Bec Shaw noted how smart “The Last of Us” was to give us some surprise Melanie in their first trailer, the immensely talented actress responded in kind. Then when a straight cis-het dude chimed in to pull attention, her polite yet firm dismissal of his self-centering was instantly iconic. Like, come on. (He was even so epically shamed, he then deleted it.) Yeah, she might not be gay. But The Gays nothing but approve/appreciate of her everything. Also, OMFG, is she freaking excellent in “Yellowjackets,” and how much can’t you wait for the second season to get here already? Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend (Casting) Crush

Look, I really enjoyed “Yellowjackets.” And, as I’ve mentioned, the pitch perfect teen/adult casting for the parallel timeline story is part of that appeal. Now, if you’ve watched (and you should watch) the full first season, you are left with new, tantalizing casting questions.

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t finished the season stop reading now. Now. NOW.

Right, so, who should play Lottie Matthews? The reigning Antler Queen appears to be the Big Bad, or at very least a present-day cult leader, of the series in the finale’s shocking reveal that her minions are out there (sporting the woodsy, witchy insignia that kept popping up). Showrunner have confirmed that Adult Lottie will make an appearance in the second season. So, it’s time, which Gen. X actress should play the grown-up Courtney Eaton? Who is the 40-something Antler Queen?

Obviously, I have some suggestions.

Shannyn Sossamon

Why her? The early 2000s rom-com star has the look and the range. Her turn on former favorite “Sleepy Hollow” shows she can pull off the spooky stuff too.

Fairuza Balk

Why her? Come on, it’s Fairuza Balk! I mean, if we’re talking witchy I’d say so one is better. And crazy, come on, can that woman play crazy.

Summer Glau

Why her? A dark horse candidate, but her action and sci-fi bonafides make her an interesting choice. I mean, she was River – obviously she can play damaged yet deadly.

While we’re doing dream casting, how about we get unhealthily obsessed with who is the perfect person to play Van. The show’s resident red-haired lesbian, played as a teen by Liv Hewson (who played gay before in “Let It Snow” and is themselves gay and non-binary). Again, I have some suggestions.

Lauren Ambrose

Why her? I mean, look at her. LOOK AT HER.

Merritt Wever

Why her? If you’ve seen Merritt in literally anything before, you know why.

Alicia Witt

Why her? She was literally playing a sarcastic red-haired teen during the exact era our Yellowjackets were wandering through the forest.

So, who should be our Lottie and Van? Discuss amongst yourselves. Happy weekend, all.

Sting Like a Yellowjacket

Yellowjackets Hive, rise, RISE! So, unless you’ve been living under a rock or your plane crashed deep in the Canadian Rockies, you’ve probably heard about Showtime’s new cult-hit series “Yellowjackets.” The story of a championship high school soccer team who crash lands and then survives 19 months alone together in the wilderness is riveting to say the least. Also, there’s probably cannibalism. Think “Lord of the Flies” meets “Alive” meets “Jawbreaker/Mean Girls.”

Told in two concurrent timelines, directly after the crash and then 25 years later, the series has some of the best young actor to adult actor casting I’ve seen in quite some time. The adult cast includes a who’s who of Gen X actress excellence: Melanie Lynskey as adult Shauna, Juliette Lewis as adult Natalie, and Christina freaking Ricci as adult Misty. And their junior counterparts (Sophie Nélisse as young Shauna, Sophie Thatcher as young Natalie and Sammi Hanratty as young Misty) are no less impressive.

If you’ve watched you know the central mystery (well, mysteries) revolve around what actually happened out there in the woods. The repercussions of their survival still reverberate 25 years later. And, again, we haven’t even really gotten to the whole eating each other stuff yet.

In a way the frantic kinetic energy of “Yellowjackets” made the perfect foil to the raw pastoral calmness of “Station Eleven.” While their stories are clearly very different, their storytelling about the ending of the world — or at least the world as they knew it — both fall along Right After and Long After timelines. Both flash us to the present, while showing us how we got there. And both revolve around central female characters finding new ways to live amid unimaginable trauma.

Also, in another pleasantly unexpected parallel, Shauna from “Yellowjackets” and Kristen “Station Eleven” are perhaps the very definition of end-game Knife Girls. Like, it’d be a real competition to watch them field dress, say, a rabbit. Or an ex-lover.

The way their storytelling diverge also perfectly complements each series. “Station Eleven” is a limited series that ran just 10 episodes that told a carefully bookended apocalyptic tale about the power of art and the connections we make around it. “Yellowjackets” is a 10-episode-per-season series that has already been renewed for its sophomore turn and left us with so many tantalizing unanswered questions. Both those formats feel right. While obviously I would watch more “Station Eleven,” the symmetry of its beginning, middle and end (even through shifting timelines) feels right. Final. Whereas I can’t wait for more Yellowjackets madness, and the insane possibilities in this story.