My Weekend (Blogiversary) Crush

Well, here we are. Twenty years. 2-0. Two decades. Or, to put it another way, a long-ass time. Today marks my 20th blogiversary. Which feels crazy to say out loud but, again, here we are. As you’ve no doubt noticed, my writings have gotten a little shorter as the years have gone longer. And, yeah, I can be a little more hit-and-miss with posts these days too. But here we still are. Still crazy after all these years. Mostly, what I want to say, and what I always want to say, is thank you. Thank you for still reading, still visiting, still commenting, still sharing and still being the lovely and generous kittens you are. I appreciate you for coming back and caring. I will continue writing, and sharing all my big – and small – gay feelings and thoughts with you. Still crazy about queer pop culture after all these years, together. Because even 20 years later, representation still matters. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Kate the Always Great

Since the vintage tank did well, then a vintage suit – and I mean truly vintage – should do just fine. Just fine indeed. Oh, Kate. Truly, how did this movie come out 84 years ago and she looked that gay. I mean, come on, that stride? Woman of the Year, indeed.

Crushing Hacks

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So, admittedly, I have not had a chance to start the new season and final season of “Hacks” yet. And I think part of that is so that it won’t be over. The other thing I never want to be over is this cast and their chemistry. But also, I will miss their unabashed queerness. Truly, can you think of the last mainstream interview with stars who so openly embraced the sapphic gaze and essentially drooled over Jessica Rabbit together, and various 90s teen heartthrobs/hot masc lesbian lookalikes.

Tank Top Tuesday: Vintage Foster

I mean, I feature Jodie in a tux, I gotta feature Jodie in a tank. Look, I don’t make the rules – fine, I totally make the rules. But since I’ve been feeling these throwback tank tops of late, how about we appreciate plain white tank Jodie circa my constant dreams. You’re welcome.

Music Monday: Always Our Girls

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I am, for the moment, at a loss for many words. Of course, anyone who has seen the Indigo Girls in the last few years knows Emily's voice has not been the same. But to have them confirm that it is not just normal aging, but two incurable medical disorders that will continue affecting Emily’s voice, well, yeah. I cried. I am so thankful that at almost every opportunity possible I have gone to see the extraordinary harmony of heart and head that have been Emily Sailer and Amy Ray as the Indigo Girls for the last thirty-plus years. That they asked for grace as they navigate performing to the best of their abilities together on this new tour, well, I cried some more. I hope they know we, their listeners who love them, are just so grateful for everything they’ve given us show after show, year after year, decade after decade. I sure hope we’ll have many more years to come. But so thankful for all they’ve already given us. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Hopeful) Crush

Could our long lesbian nightmare finally be coming to an end? Will Riley finally get her own “Happiest Season”? Well, maybe. Aubrey Plaza says “there’s some movement, yeah” on a “Happiest Season” sequel. She mentioned the idea to the original’s writer-director Clea DuVall and now they really, sorta, maybe, perhaps will start working on it together – like for reals. So, definitely maybe!

Look, I’ll cling to any sliver of good news I can these days. The idea actually started with an in-joke Aubrey added to her new Prime Video series “Kevin,” which I’ve never heard of but gets an A+ in niche lesbian jokes for this fact alone. There’s a movie marquee that reads: “Kristen Stewart and Aubrey Plaza in ‘Happiest Season 2: Riley’s Revenge.”

As she told The Wrap:

“You know what’s funny, is I actually forgot that I put that in the show, and Clea and I just had a creative conversation this past week about that [movie],” she revealed. “And I said, like, ‘Hello? Where’s Riley’s happy ending? We gotta start working on this.’ So, we actually are.” “That is actually true,” she added. “I mean, I think I’m allowed to say that, but I don’t think Clea would care. But yeah.”

Yeah, indeed. Now make it happen so we we can all be the happiest lesbians next season. But for now, happy weekend, all.

p.s. Mazel tov to Aubrey (who with her partner former "Girls" actor Chris Abbott), is expecting her first child. Also, April and Charlie end up together? Did they start as long distance, Pawnee to New York? At least she dumped Andy, he turned out to be a chud.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Jodie's Tux

Wait, why did no one tell me that in addition to speaking French throughout the whole movie, Jodie Foster also appears in a tuxedo in “A Private Life”? It’s like you don’t even care about my happiness. I’ll have to think about this for a while. You know, to heal our trust. That’s the only reason I plan to think about these photos of Jodie in a tux with slicked back hair. Yep, trust. Anyway, it’s a Thursday so if you, like, me, were not aware of these facts then you are now welcome.

So Gay For TV

Oh, geez, I’m going to have to read this book now, aren’t I? A new series based on Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey’s post-The L Word memoir “So Gay For You” is in the works at Amazon MGM Studios. Kate and Leisha will star and executive produce, and the series will be helmed by nonbinary creator Charlie Covell, the writer behind “The End of the F***ing World,” Kaos” and the upcoming “Life Is Strange” adaptation. Look, I already admitted to not reading their book yet. But I have always and continue to enjoy the dynamic between Kate and Leisha both onscreen and off.

Twenty-two years since the series premiered and there still aren’t queer female characters much more iconic than Shane and Alice. So, duh, I will be watching. Someone just hand me the Cliffs Notes. (That’s how we used to cheat, kids. By opening a skinnier book. Not by just typing a prompt so some datacenter plopped into some unwitting rural community to guzzle a couple million gallons of water to churn out stolen intellectual property for the enrichment of our tech billion overlords. Anyway, not sure how this turned into a rant againt AI, but as always, fuck AI. But yay for more TV featuring and about queer women.)

Tank Top Tuesday: Space Woman Edition

Am I about to be deeply shallow to someone who has been closer than any other woman – and all but three men on Earth – to the edge of deep space? Yes, yes, I am. And I am OK with that because, after all, I am just a lesbian woman. And I have eyes. And it is Tuesday. And those eyes acknowledge that NASA astronaut and Artemis II Specialist Christina Koch looks great in a tank top on this Tuesday and every day. And a flight suit. And even NASA’s standard issue dorky polo and khakis. Because, hello, forearms. Heck, we don’t even mind that she’s married to a man. We just know Christina got on a rocket to the moon and came back a lesbian icon. Science, baby!

I hope you were as inspired by Christina and the rest of the crew of the Artemis II as they splashed down on Friday. Humans can still do great things, we just need better leaders who will do great things with us. After seeing Christina make it around the moon and back, I would say I feel pretty inspired. The tank tops help, too. What? Lots of things can be inspiring.

Music Monday: Want to Live Forever?

On the same day that Orange Stain threatened that “a whole civilization will die tonight” (but, of course, TACOed out), Brandi Carlile walked up to a piano and sang this rendition of Alphaville’s “Forever Young.” No, not Neil Young’s “Forever Young,” but the 80s German pop-synth group commenting on the Cold War nuclear standoff. Oh, how the times, they seem to never really change. Happy we’re still here I guess Monday, kittens.

Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The music's for the sad man

Can you imagine when this race is won?
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune
The music's played by the, the mad man

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever, and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever young

My Weekend Crush

Like, hopefully, the rest of the planet I am watching, enjoying and crying my dang eyes out – but this time with joy and pride – about everything happening with the Artemis II mission. From its wonderful crew to the exuberant wakeup songs to all those pictures of our gorgeous galaxy, it has been a true and endless delight remembering the best of us are still out there – in fact, all the way to the moon out there.

Seeing all these marvelously competent humans interact with kindness, while championing science and sharing their enthusiasm for exploration is a reminder that humankind isn’t all terrible. And if you didn’t shed a tear when the crew announced they were naming a previously undiscovered bright spot on the moon after Mission Commander Reid Wiseman’s late wife, Carroll, I have to question your humanity as well. Imagine, hurtling through space, as the physical manifestation of all your infinite grief and love – teardrops – float all around you. Truly, out of this world compassion. Plus, come on, it’s called Carroll. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: When Meryl Met Anna

Who amongst us hasn’t looked at this Vogue cover and immediately created an elaborate fantasy where Meryl is the masc and Anna the fem in a mad fashionable love story set at the Met Gala and/or Brandi Carlile’s Girls Just Wanna Weekend? (I know, I know – but wouldn’t it be hilarious to see Anna amid the Bramily?) Look, I’m no Wintour stan. But I’ll do anything for Merly, especially Meryl in a suit. So what Meryl wants, Meryl gets – in my imagination. Plus, it’s an age-appropriate imaginary relationship to boot! I mean, two 70-something women on the cover of Vogue together? I’d say someone check on Anna Wintour, but, you know.

Go, Cheeseburgers, go

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Just a not-so-gentle reminder that he will die some day. He really will. We know it because Rachel Maddow said it. And, well, it's true. Go, cheeseburgers, go. Now that is something to root for.

The Truth Is Fire

“Station Eleven” hive, rise up! This is our moment! This is our time! Now, please just make the new “Scully” queer! Look, as long as cool shit is happening for the new “X-Files” reboot coming to Hulu from “Sinners” and “Black Panther” mastermind Ryan Coogler we might as well dream even bigger. But if you were among the dedicated few with excellent taste who loved the artful apocalypse series “Station Eleven,” you will be beyond thrilled at news that two of its stars, Himesh Patel and Danielle Deadwyler, will be the leads of the new sci-fi series. They’ll be playing “new original characters in the series.” So, yeah, technically no queer Scully. But that doesn’t mean Danielle’s character can’t still be wlw. I am just saying, the truth is out there. Also if they bring Gillian Anderson back as Scully us gays will still consider it a win. I mean she already called the scrtipt "fucking cool," so LFG. We saw her in “The Fall,” we know what’s possible. Believe.

Music Monday: Rita Fever Forever

Just a quick reminder from Rota Moreno, circa 1976, to never let a man diminish your light – especially if that man is an Animal. Know your worth, ladies and gentlethems. Know your worth. Also, holy crap, Rita was a hottie. Sorry, and continues to be a hottie 50 years later still. Respect where respect is due. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

So, yeah, this has been a disappointing and, truly, sad time for all the Buffy fans left out there. News that the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” reboot/continuation series at Hulu with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Chloé Zhao is no more seems incomprehensible. But, as always, there was one dude who didn't get it, so nobody gets it anymore. And then shortly after that massive let down, the terrible news of Nicholas Brendon’s passing shocked fans anew. Like what a truly fucked up time for what’s left of the Buffyverse. Still, in the end, Buffy will survive because of what she meant to us, and what the show means despite its toxic creator, clueless executives and troubled co-stars. She was about finding the strength to fight off any apocalypse with the help of your friends. And anything can be accomplished if we’re all ready to be strong. Buffy forever. Happy weekend, all.

Spacewoman

So Kristen Stewart is going to make her lead TV/streaming debut playing Sally Ride in a new Prime Video show. The limited series will follow Sally’s journey to become the first U.S. woman in space and also her role in the investigation of the Challenger explosion tragedy. No word on whether they’ll cover Sally’s sexuality, which she famously hid until after her death. But you gotta imagine if Kristen is playing her, they’ll make her queerness front and center – I mean, we have to believe, right? I gotta hand it to her, when K-Stew plays a real person she sure picks really interesting and complicated women. Savannah Knoop/J.T. Leroy, Joan Jett, Jean Seberg, Princess Diana. Now that’s what I call range -- all the way to outer space.

p.s. This also serves as a bonus tank top because I kinda skimped out on the content Tuesday.

Cup Runneth Over

I’ve been jonesing for more (Gordon Ramsay-free – sorry, he is just not the cooking dude for me). So, obviously, I had to check out Padma Lakshmi’s new food competition show “America’s Culinary Cup.” Is it basically “Top Chef,” but with an anxiety-inducing train-station scoreboard and less charismatic fellow judges? Yes. Does it still have Padma Lakshmi in a neverending series of stunning gowns? Am I bummed one of the lesbians got kicked off this week? Obviously. But, we still have at least one left. Don’t worry, I’m still watching “Top Chef” again too. I mean, their host is sapphic so we keep wining no matter what. Now that’s what I call eating well. Ahem.

Tank Top Tuesday: Legend Edition

Just because I was feeling nostalgic this week already, how about some vintage Helen Slater. Since that new Supergirl movie is coming out soon, how about our O.G. Supergirl. That of course led me to the “Legend of Billie Jean,” which as we all know is the root for ⅓ of all Gen X lesbians. Anyway it’s a Tuesday and yes, of course, that counts as a tank top.

Music Monday: Hard Memories

When this cover of Bob Dylan’s seminal protest song came out we didn’t know that one day a bloated orange psychopath would start yet another shitty war in the Middle East yet. We definitely didn’t know that same orange turd was gonna become president – twice. I mean, at this point we didn’t even know he’d one day shill for that shitty stuffed crust Pizza Hut pizza. We also didn’t know Tom Cruise was in a crazy churchcult. And we didn’t know this was probably the last we’d hear from Edie Brickell because she was gonna marry Paul Simon. As, ignorance continues to be bliss. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

If Tina is on the TV, even if it’s TVs in the UK, imma crush on it. Duh. So My Fake TV/Film/Cross-Continental Show Host Wife was the first host for the new “Saturday Night Love” UK last weekend. I haven’t watched the whole show because, well, I rarely watch the full United States show. Now I gotta add a whole Kingdom? Anyway, back to Tina. Can I say I’ve always liked her dress shorts, chunky Oxfords and thick glasses aesthetic? It’s a little 90s Riot Grrrl and I’m into that. Also, did Tina have an almost wardrobe malfunction at the start there with her vest? And it isn’t even my birthday. Happy weekend, all.

Hacks for the Memories

How is an incredible, groundbreaking and whip smart show like “Hacks” ending after only five seasons when at least one and for several years multiple “The Big Bang Theory” extended television universe shows have been on the air continuously since 2007? Sigh. Life isn’t fair, bitches. I mean, a universe where Deborah Vance can’t tell one little single joke? Yeah, we knew that couldn’t last. I just hope Ava finally gets some. That whole Christina Hendricks thing was such a tease. Though, obviously, you should never fuck a Republican. And, on that note, they’d better not make the great pantless Cherry Jones another lesbian Republican. Though, I see pantlessness may be a theme this season, and I’m not mad at it. Not mad at all. Except, of course, about “Hacks” ending.

A Bridger-ton-of-Lesbians

So, guess I’m going to have to start watching “Bridgerton” again. I don’t know how many of you have kept up with this alternative history early 19th Century romance series. I admittedly haven’t watched regularly since the first season. And, I liked it well enough. But I’m just not really a period piece person – at least not with TV shows. Also, even though it was wonderfully diverse and has queer actors in the cast, its characters have been overwhelmingly, you know, heterosexual. This last season I did hear flutters about flirtations between Francesca Bridgerton and Michaela Stirling. But, hello, they made them the whole next season. Yes, Virginia, you can have your very own sapphic Regency romance! I don’t know anything about Francesca and Michaela except they are played by Hannah Dodd and Masali Baduza and their shipper name, duh (Franchael, by the way). But I am kinda excited to catch up and get to know them. All I know is there better be a lot more than back of hands touching. Bring on the double bodice ripping! Luckily, and also unluckily, we’ll probably have two years to get up to speed as the new season has just started filming and the show has averaged two years between season so far. Sheesh, making us wlws wait for it, aren’t they?

Tank Top Tuesday: Strange Days Indeed

Well, shit, another week nearly got away from me. But I caught it! I’m sure you won’t mind this singular tank top apology. Classic Angela Bassett from her “Strange Days” days? Yes, ma’am. (And, no, we are not going to talk about how that movie came out 31 years ago. No, ma’am.) Tuesdays, amirite?

Music Monday: Pretty Pink

So earlier this month Pink guest-hosted Kelly Clarkson’s show, and of course continued her grand tradition of killing it on covers. You all know “Time After Time” is one of my all-time favorites. So naturally how could I resist. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Fine, last one. Oh Sarah. Oh Holland. Look at those two love birds. And the casual legs up on the table. Now that’s how you sapphic at the Vanity Fair Oscars party. Smooch on, ladies. Smooch on. Happy weekend, all.

GGALGG: Oscars Edition 2

Well, the weeks keep getting away from me. But I wanted to atone for missing a few sapphics at the Oscars and Oscars parties. (Thought, again, I’m not sure we saw an identifiable lesbian besides Jane Lynch during the show, which — boooo.) But here we have two more wlw couples and one single beaver. What? She played a beaver in “Zootopia 2.” Get your head out of the gutter.

Brittany Howard & Park Kyung-lim

Brittany and Misty Copeland joining the ensemble for the stunning “I Lied to You” sequence from “Sinners” remains a true highlight of the night. Also, fuck you lil Timmy. (Again, can I mention how much I hated “Marty Supreme”?

Queen Latifah & Eboni Nichols

They look radiant. One day, I sure hope they kiss on the red carpet.

Fortune Feimster

Now that’s what I call Handsome.

Oscar GGALGG(BBTWTTO)

So, let’s just be honest, those Oscars were pretty straight. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Kinda. But I’m pretty sure the live telecast featured zero – at least by my count – live lesbians. Yeah, sure, they featured Jane Lynch in a pre-recorded joke ad for the future YouTube Academy Awards (which is a real thing, by the way, hello 2029). And, OK, fine – Barbra Streisand showed up and sang. So there’s that. But I don’t think the camera ever panned to Oscar-nominated Tig Notaro once (admittedly, I could have missed a split-second shot, but I don’t think I did.) So I will rectify that by featuring the sapphics of the red carpet. So welcome to Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gals By Bringing Their Wives to the Oscars (GGALGGBBTWTTO, duh)

Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne

So they didn’t take home the best doc Oscar for “Come See Me In the Good Light,” but what lesbian couple wants a shiny naked man in their bedroom anyway?

Brandi Carlile & Catherine Carlile

Brandi’s suit is very Captain von Trapp and I’m into it.

Abby Wambach & Glennon Doyle

I wish Abby had a tie, but bonus points for the pins. (And, of course, the bag.)

Robby Hoffman & Gabby Windey

Girls really do just love funny little guys*. (*As a Gen Xer, I reserve the right to use guys in a non-gendered way courtesy “The Electric Company” forever)

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Fine, they aren’t married that we know about. Which, come on Sarah, put a ring on that.

Auli'i Cravalho

Fine, I had to give you at least one single lady. Not that there aren’t legions of age-appropriate wlws clamouring to wife her up.

p.s. I was rooting for “Sinners,” and all I can say about “One Battle After Another” having a big night is that I’m very happy for Maya Rudloph. Oh, and I’m happy Sean Penn didn’t want to attend.

p.p.s. I thought the show was overall pretty good, Conan landed some magnificent hits, and Amy Madigan and Ed Harris are a reminder that straights can have good marriages too.

Music Monday: Owned By Anne

Wait, I’m realizing some of you may not have seen Anne Hathaway totally own Kelly Clarkson at her own game – and with her own song. What a delight from a simpler time (2022) back when movies about scamming billionaires seemed more quaint than the metaphorical locusts of our christofascist capitalist hellscape endtimes. But, yeah, this was cute. Ah, simpler times. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Movie Trailer Crush

Wow, the more I see of “Montreal, Ma Belle” the more I want to see itt, so I think that’s a pretty good sign. The drama features Joan Chen playing “a Chinese Canadian immigrant wife and mother living in Montreal, Quebec, who embarks on a journey of self-discovery when she meets and falls in love with Camille (Charlotte Aubin), a free-spirited younger woman.” And because the teaser trailer didn’t have any dialogue, I didn’t fully realize that the whole movie was in French. Yes, The Joan Chen speaking French. I mean, oui oui. I have always loved Joan Chen, from “Twin Peaks” to “Wild Side” and “Saving Face” to “The Wedding Banquet.” But we really feast when she once again gets to play gay (which, by my count, was last more than 20 years ago). Encore! Encore! Happy weekend, all.

Burial Beats

Fine, I kind of dig this song. Like, could Anne Hathaway's single "Burial" from her new film “Mother Mary” be a banger? You know, the movie where she plays a pop diva reuniting with her former fashion designer lover played by Michaela Coel. I appreciate the ethereal Lady Gaga schtick her character has got going on. Though, could we expect less from the Ultimate Theater Kid Anne “Les Miserables, Wrecking Ball and beating Kelly Clarkson at Kellyoke with her own song” Hathaway? No, you could not. Truly, the only thing I wish is that all these teaser and trailers showed Anne and Michaela being more gay together. More! Gay! Together! Now that, that’s truly, that’s my favorite song.

Lesbian Rocky

Did you know Wanda Sykes is in a sports drama as a butch queer former boxing champ and recovering alcoholic? Yeah, neither did I. But there she is, in her first big dramatic role, wearing sleeveless muscle shirts and giving her estranged son the full Rocky treatment. Apparently Wanda’s character also gets to romance a hot tattoo artist. All that, plus she’s already way hotter than Cus D'Amato. Get it, Wanda. Cue “Lesbian Eye of the Tiger!”

Tank Top Mea Culpa

Whoops, this Tuesday got away from me. Here is Katy O’Brian in yet another tank top. All forgiven?

Music Monday: The Story

Since I’m humming Brandi Carlile tunes anyway today, and I went down a lesbians on TV rabbit hole thanks to Willow and Tara, how about the perfect musical combo this Monday. Remember when Arizona proposed to Callie on the way to a weekend getaway and then they were in a terrible car crash which left Callie in a coma which she sang herself out of through the healing power of the lesbian singer-songwriter’s power ballad? And it was an entire musical episode? Yeah, that aired 15 years ago this month. Happy Monday, all.

My Weekend Crush

Can you believe it’s been 25 years since Willow and Tara first kissed on screen. Do you remember the episode? A week ago marks the anniversary of the release of arguably the best “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” episode ever, “The Body.” Yes, our two favorite witches finally kissed in the same episode where Buffy’s mom died, which aired Feb. 27, 2001. I know, my knees crack just thinking about how long ago that was.

But, as a dedicated fan (stan before stanning was a thing), I remember so clearly how momentous that moment felt. This was three years before “The L Word” premiered. Eight years before “Glee” was a gay twinkle in anyone’s eyes. And 14 years before same-sex marriage became legal in America. Before Callie and Arizona, before Bo and Lauren, before the entire casts of “Pretty Little Liars,” and “Orange Is the New Black” and “Wynonna Earp.”

Before all of that, there was Willow and Tara. Sure, Joss may have been revealed to be just another disappointing man. But the story of Willow and Tara, it will always matter regardless of him. It matters because of us. And if there are any of my OG Kitten Boarders out there, stay strong like an amazon. Happy 25 years to us. Happy weekend, all.

Jean v. Gillian

As if we needed more reason to be excited about “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma!,” but it has ignited a probably parasocial, definitely enjoyable heated rivalry between Gillian Anderson and Jean Smart for Hannah Einbinder’s affections. Like, when Hannah posted a picture of Jean in a jaunty beret with a sexy martini, Gillian had to respond with her own French twist - yes, towel beret and grape olive and all. Seriously, please, more of this. We need it. The world needs this. I did not have Gillian Anderson and Jean Smart battle to be drawn like one of Hannah Einbinder’s French girls on my 2026 bingo card, but I will most definitely take it. Gillian, Gillian, I was unfamiliar with your towel game.

Mothers Mothering

I half watched the Actors last weekend. And it had some nice moments. The lovely posthumous acceptance/tribute to Catherine O’Hara. Harrison Ford’s humble, empathetic Lifetime acceptance speech. I’d like to note that it’s a small point of pride that I picked one of the better straight white men as my movie idols from the very start. That’s my Han Solo/Indiana Jones.

Still, because, I have to make it gay somehow, I thought I’d instead comment on these pictures of Connor Storrie being anointed by these Sapphics-Approved Mothers. The “Heated Rivalry” star is fresh off hosting SNL and then this happens? Kathryn Hahn and Sarah Paulson give you their blessing on the same night?

Also, doesn’t the picture with Sarah look like she is an immortal vampire queen and he is her hand-selected son who she sends out into the night to seduce men and women alike, but only to bring the tastiest women back to her for…reasons. You know, just as a suggestion. Meanwhile Kathryn looks like she’s his proud drama teacher. Look, everyone has different fantasy sequences in their heads.

Camp Time

Do I know what’s happening? No? Do I care that I don’t know what’s happening? Also no. I do know that Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder are gonna get weird together in “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma!.” And that’s good enough for me.

Actually, that’s a lie. I also know that the movie’s queer, trans, nonbinary creator Jane Schoenbrun also directed my favorite film from 2024, “I Saw the TV Glow.” Also, I know it stars Eva Victor (who I love, love, loved in last year’s quiet “Sorry, Baby”) in a mohawk and leather.

I also assume that Gillian is playing the original final girl turned reclusive actress behind the hit “Camp Miasma” slasher franchise which now years later is being resurrected by an “enthusiastic young director” played by Hannah. I’m assuming the weird shit we can’t yet explain from the trailer is the “blood-soaked world of desire, fear, and delirium” they find themselves falling into.

So, to recap: Gillian. Hannah. Eva. A kickass director. DELRIUM.

Heck, I don’t even care that it’s about slasher horror films, which has historically been one of my least favorite film genres. Let’s get weird.

Music Monday: Joke's On Them

I’m going to see Brandi this weekend. This will be my second time seeing her, but my first since she became BRANDI FREAKING CARLILE. So, you know, that’ll be fun. I also hope that she plays “The Joke” and continues to dedicate it to the U.S. Women’s Hockey Team. Because, damn, do they deserve it. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

I always, always love the Olympics. But this year, the event (despite its many, many flaws from ongoing corruption, exorbitant expenses, environmental impacts, et al) came at perhaps the perfect time. For a nation like ours that is so fiercely and feverishly divided, the Olympics was a hopeful reminder of what makes us really great. No, obviously not that rah-rah jingoism of bald eagle screeches and whatever the fuck Kash Patel was doing in the Team USA men’s hockey lockeroom. But the big-hearted, big-dreamers who care about and cheer for each other.

The version of America that most of the athletes of the 2026 Winter Games showed was that of empathy, grace, compassion and most importantly concern for their fellow athletes. I’ve never seen a more genuinely caring figure skating Olympic competition. Like this is the same contest where in the past one athlete ordered a hit on another athlete, FROM THE SAME TEAM. I’ve never heard more athletes talk openly about the toll Olympic pressure puts on their mental health. Or what success means outside of winning medals. And, of course, I’m heartened despite the horrid backlash they’ve endured that so many of Team USA also have spoken out about what is happening in this country. More of that, from more athletes and everyone else, all the time and not just every four years, please.

This year’s Olympics were also a reminder for me about how much I despise all the unchecked AI being thrust into our lives. I can’t help but believe it’s true intent is – besides, of course, getting rid of all those pesky higher-paying white collar jobs so the oligarchs can buy more private sex islands and megayachts – is to rob us of the wonder of humanity. So with each picture, each video, each given “fact” we have to ask, “But is it real or AI”?

Honestly, when I look at any of the magnificent photography coming out of this year’s Olympics, I see why I will never accept AI art. A whole industry just to recreate and reorder reality. Yet the beauty of human emotions doesn’t need enhancement. We’re doing it every day. Look at Alysa Liu's face. The JOY. All that, and it’s also destroying the planet. So, truly, truly fuck off, AI. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Credit to the human photographers Matthew Stockman/Getty (top) and Christophe Ena/AP (bottom).

Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age

Someone called me “creepy” for noting that Amber Glenn, who is a 26-year-old fully adult woman, is hot. Which, I might add, could just be empirical fact. Regardless, I would like to comfort those who are concerned about my moral compass, that I would never actually initiate any real-world romantic relationships with someone approximately half my age. Nor do I want to. But, also, I have eyes that work – and I’m not dead. Anyway, to not offend anyone’s sensibilities – delicate or otherwise – how about some Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age? All these women are well within an appropriate age bracket for a Gen Xer who keeps throwing those AARP invitations in the trash.

Suranne Jones, 47

It’s the manspreading for me.

Tracy Chapman, 61

Boy, I wish she would play publicly more so I could objectify the shit out of her…talent.

Cate Blanchett, 56

I’ve never pulled off a velvet suit this well at any age.

Jodie Foster, 63

Granted, I might be on the edge of youngish for Jodie depending on her May-December tolerance. Which clearly would be the only thing holding us back and not the fact that she’s already married and also Jodie Foster.

Jenna Lyons, 57

I wish she was still with J.Crew, because as a Gen Xer I still have major residual nostalgia about that brand and its catalogue.

Regina King, 55

I’m pretty sure I can’t pull off an orange suit either, regardless of age.

Lena Headey, 52

I’ll always have a thing for age-appropriate florists thanks to her.

Cynthia Nixon, 59; Carrie Coon, 45; Christine Baranski, 73

Yes, I know Louisa Jacobson (34) and Taissa Farmiga (31) are just sweet baby angel children, so please accept the reverse 20+year age gap with Christine as my mea culpa.

p.s. In case further apology is needed, please accept this with my most sincere age-appropriate feelings (just put your thumb over 38-year-old Karen Gillan’s face if necessary) as everyone else is 50+.