That's Madam Boss Bitch to You

Well, we all know that “Choose Your Quarantine Fighter” meme by now. (Again, I’m the one who cried in the shower after reading the news.) But some real-life badass quarantine fighting ladies got together to film the ultimate “Boss Bitch Fight Challenge.”

I suggest you go ahead and watch if you haven’t already before reading the rest. But if you don’t mind getting spoiled, get ready to see stuntwoman and actress Zoe Bell fight it out (while maintaining proper social distance) with many of her talented and famous – and might I add fierce – female friends.

Fighting it out are professional stuntwomen and some very famous actresses. They go, in order: Zoe Bell, Lucy Lawless, stuntwoman Tara Macken, Drew Barrymore, Juliette Lewis, stuntwoman Tamiko Brownlee, Rosario Dawson, stuntwoman Amy Johnston, Cameron Diaz, stuntwoman Kim Murphy, Daniela Ruah, stuntwoman Michaela McAllister, Kaitlin Olson, stuntwoman Lauren Mary Kim, Florence Pugh, Zoe again but this time with a puppy, Julia Butters, stuntowman Angela Meryl, stuntwoman Sarah Irwin, Daryl Hannah, Sophia Di Martino, Tracie Thoms, stuntwoman Shauna Duggins, Zoe Saldana, stuntwoman Ming Qiu, Renee Goldsberry, Rosie Perez, Lilly Aspell, Thandie Newton, stuntwoman Mel Stubbs, stuntwoman Jessie Graff, Zoe but this time at her car, stuntwoman Monique Ganderton, Halle Berry, stuntwoman Heidi Moneymaker, Scarlett Johansson, stuntwoman Dayna Grant, Margot Robbie, stuntwoman Renae Moneymaker, KT Tunstall and finally back to Zoe.

Gosh, that was fun. Who was your favorite? I’m still crying in the shower as far as my fighting styles goes. But, I’d gladly have any of these ladies tap in for me at any time. Any time at all.

SGALGG: Lesbian Oscars Edition

God, did you make it through all 127 hours of the Oscars telecast? Did anyone find James Franco’s personality? Or, better yet, could he have just shared whatever he was smoking with all of us. That way it would have been a much more enjoyable experience for all parties involved. Though, despite the show falling in its desperate attempt to be young and breaking its hipness, there were still some quality Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals moments. I mean, the show’s one conscious host Anne Hathaway herself called it “a great year for lesbians.”

Michelle Willliams & Busy PhillipsBusy was Michele’s date for the Oscars, and they even arrived holding hands. Someone needs to give them a portmanteau tout de suite.

Gwyneth Paltrow & Cameron DiazI can’t tell if I’m more excited by the SGALGGy hug or the arm porn. Probably both.

Sandra Bullock & Halle BerryI will pay good money to whoever has the next photo in this sequence. Kiss her you fool!

Marisa Tomei & Melissa LeoMarisa looks like she’s about to jump into Melissa’s arms. And then, in my head, they do the dramatic lift from “Dirty Dancing.”

Selena Gomez & Taylor SwiftWhile the Bieber kid looks more lesbian, Selena and Taylor make a cuter couple.

Leslie Mann, Emma Stone & Jennifer WestfeldtThe best thing about this picture is how badly Judd Apatow wants to make this a foursome and how defiantly the ladies are keeping it a threesome.

Rosario Dawson & Jennifer HudsonWhat I would not give to hear a “Take Me or Leave Me” duet between those two.

Reese Witherspoon & Elizabeth BanksI’m assuming Reese just said something absolutely filthy about what she was going to do with that finger and Elizabeth approves.

Anne HathawayIf only Anne had hosted with herself and her tuxedoed self, instead of James Franco. It would have been so much more entertaining, and hot.

Lea Michele & Dianna AgronI particularly love how they both look like they’ve been caught in the act. Busted, Achele, busted.

GGALGG Bonus: Lora Hirschberg & her wife LauraOut lesbian sound mixer Lora Hirschberg won for Inception and got a smooch on her way to the stage.

OK, Anne Hathaway, you were right. It was a great year for lesbians, or at least lesbian behavior.

p.s. Check out my full Oscar recap over at AfterEllen.

Sister, can you spare a dime, or $1,500 million?

If by chance you are looking for a sugar mama to come whisk you away to live happily ever after in the manner which you always hoped to become accustomed, do I have a hot tip you for. Forbes released a list of the Top 20 Richest Woman in Entertainment yesterday. Sure, only one out lesbian makes the list (Ellen at No. 17 with $65 million). But don’t let that stop your gold digging. Plenty of ladies on the list could, under the right circumstances, be persuaded. I mean, Oprah’s already “a little gay.” We all know Madonna has played for pretty much every team on the planet. And Cameron is on the rebound now that Justin is no longer bringing the sexyback to her. I say, go for it.

1. Oprah Winfrey = $1,500 million
2. J.K. Rowling = $1,000 million
3. Martha Stewart = $638 million
4. Madonna = $325 million
5. Celine Dion = $250 million
6. Mariah Carey = $225 million
7. Janet Jackson = $150 million
8. Julia Roberts = $140 million
9. Jennifer Lopez = $110 million
10. Jennifer Aniston = $110 million
11. Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen = $100 million
12. Britney Spears = $100 million
13. Judith “Judge Judy” Sheindlin = $95 million
14. Sandra Bullock = $85 million
15. Cameron Diaz = $75 million
16. Gisele Bundchen = $70 million
17. Ellen DeGeneres = $65 million
18. Nicole Kidman = $60 million
19. Christina Aguilera = $60 million
20. Renee Zellweger = $45 million

Can I just say, Judge Judy, who knew?

Some guys have all the luck

Jude Law is one lucky bastard. It doesn't seem fair. Hell, he can keep Cameron. Just hand over Kate and no one gets hurt. Le sigh.