Gosh, I loved this song when it came out. Like love, love, loveloveloved it. Like dancing around my room and singing at the top of my lungs loved it. And this was before I had any inkling that Whitney may be family – albeit very, very on the down low. But, luckily, some 25 years later we did get the gay version on “Glee.” Say what you will about thar show. And, trust me, I have. But, when Brittany and Santana danced it was very, very good. Happy Monday, kittens.
p.s. I totally forgot Quinn was in a wheelchair for a while. Oh, Glee.
Whitney Houston was an absolute favorite of mine growing up. I can’t tell you how many times I danced alone to her songs in my bedroom, stereo turned up and the windows pushed open. Her voice, that supreme instrument, was always a marvel. But what I really liked, especially back in my preteeny bopper days, were her poppy songs. They were, after all, the best to dance to. In particular, I loved “I Wanna Dance with Somebody.” It was such a simple, declarative statement. Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody, too, Whitney. Baring that, I’ll dance to you.
News (and perhaps I should put that word in quotes) emerged this week that Whitney’s ex-husband Bobby Brown has confirmed her long-rumored bisexuality. Apparently he writes about it, and her equally long-rumored relationship with her best friend and assistant Robyn Crawford, in his upcoming memoir. Sadly, with her passing four years ago, Whitney will never be able to confirm or deny this herself. Over the course of her life she often scoffed, sometimes angrily so, at those very same rumors.
But back then, when Whitney became Whitney, it was a very different time in America. There was no out and dancing Ellen. No lesbian cheerleaders singing about their love on primetime TV. No president issuing gay pride month proclamations. No Supreme Court validating that love really is love.
Our society’s sometimes painfully slow progression on accepting LGBT people has had both highly political and deeply personal impacts. Yes, for too many decades – in fact centuries – LGBT people have been denied their basic human rights as citizens. And yes, for too many decades – in fact centuries – LGBT people have had to hide who they are from even some of the people they love most in order to survive. This is the truth about our queer pasts and for still too many, our queer presents.
If indeed Whitney was a bisexual woman, the sad fact is she was not truly allowed to be herself to the public. To be forced to stay in the closet, for whatever reason, is to never reveal the full breadth of one’s humanness. We are all of us extraordinary, ordinary, fascinating, boring, dynamic, plain weirdos. While our sexuality does not define us, it is an indelible part of us. And, for too many, it is a part that forever remains hidden from view.
This is not to scold Whitney for her choices. Everyone should come out how and when they want, if they want. But it is to lament a society that forces those choices on us. Yes, it’s getting better. Yes we still have a ways to go.
Which brings me back to Whitney and those bedroom dance sessions. I had no inkling back then, jamming alone in my knee socks, that Whitney might be a gay lady. I didn’t even know I was a gay anything. But something about “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” and the open, celebratory way she sang it spoke to me. It’s also one of her rare songs that – aside from a couple quick mentions of wanting a “man” and one use of a male pronoun – is largely, delightfully gender free. I want to dance with somebody. Anybody. Just as long as that somebody loves me. Don’t we all, Whitney. Don’t we all. Happy weekend, all.
Sometimes I don’t really know what to say. The second album I ever bought, with my very own money with my very own hands, was Whitney Houston’s 1985 debut, “Whitney Houston.” It was a tape – come on, that was cutting edge in 1985. That small rectangular box filled with untold delights. I remember taking the cellophane off the tape and seeing this sleek, beautiful, impossibly poised creature staring back at me. And then when I popped it into my cassette player, it was just smooth, sumptuous heaven. “Saving All My Love for You,” “How Will I Know,” “Greatest Love of All.” So two years later of course I ran out and bought her follow-up, “Whitney.” The cover instead showed this bubbly, radiant woman. A smile as big as the sun, skin as delicious as the richest caramel. “Didn’t We Almost Have It All,” “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” “So Emotional.” She sang about things I still hadn’t felt – love, heartbreak, passion – yet she made them feel very real and very present.
It was all, of course, because of that voice. That instrument from another dimension. So clear, so strong, so magnificent. Whitney didn’t need back-up dancers or pyrotechnic displays or whip cream-spouting bras. She just mesmerized. Years of singing the good word in the gospel choir taught her how to make the most joyful of noises. And with that joyful noise she became one of the biggest superstars on the planet. One of the one-named ranks. Still today, say “Whitney” and no one in the world thinks you’re talking about that awful NBC sitcom. Nope, you’re talking about Whitney. Sure, later years were less kind – and often in a spectacularly public way. And how we like to make sport of those who fall from such great heights. But never, ever was there any doubt that we were graced with a talent, a voice, that would ring through the ages. News this weekend of her passing hit me like a bolt. Because it wasn’t just a piece of my youth that left us, but a talent that made the universe stop and listen. And now she is gone. And I don’t really know what to say. But thank you, thank you for sharing your voice. I will miss it, always.
p.s. Also, because I can, please enjoy this slice of pop perfection. Precious little gave me more joy growing up than bouncing around my bedroom to this song. Dance along with me now, won’t you please.
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are over. The couple - so cracktastically depicted in the reality series "Being Bobby Brown" (which apparently wafted real-crack out of the television set because it was so darn hard to stop watching) - is headed for divorce court. Whitney's rep confirmed today that the singer intended to file papers, but refused to divulge any further details. The couple has been married for, well - too long, and have one daughter, Bobbi Kristina. Well if those two crazy kids can't make it work, well, I'm sure of lots of other less crazy people can.
