My Weekend Crush

Can you believe it’s been 25 years since Willow and Tara first kissed on screen. Do you remember the episode? A week ago marks the anniversary of the release of arguably the best “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” episode ever, “The Body.” Yes, our two favorite witches finally kissed in the same episode where Buffy’s mom died, which aired Feb. 27, 2001. I know, my knees crack just thinking about how long ago that was.

But, as a dedicated fan (stan before stanning was a thing), I remember so clearly how momentous that moment felt. This was three years before “The L Word” premiered. Eight years before “Glee” was a gay twinkle in anyone’s eyes. And 14 years before same-sex marriage became legal in America. Before Callie and Arizona, before Bo and Lauren, before the entire casts of “Pretty Little Liars,” and “Orange Is the New Black” and “Wynonna Earp.”

Before all of that, there was Willow and Tara. Sure, Joss may have been revealed to be just another disappointing man. But the story of Willow and Tara, it will always matter regardless of him. It matters because of us. And if there are any of my OG Kitten Boarders out there, stay strong like an amazon. Happy 25 years to us. Happy weekend, all.

Vacation Vixen: Willow & Tara

Happy Halloween! My two favorite lesbian witches (sorry, Agathario, but these are the O.G.s – and, again, is that redundant?) were truly pioneers in the televised sapphic arts. My pride in their place in LGBTQ+ history remains separate from any disappointment I may feel about their series creator. But back to wicca good and love the earth and women power. Enjoy the magic and candy today, kittens.

Music Monday: Willow Tree Edition

Nothing like the perfect Pride Month (and SCOTUS) hangover cure to start this new month off with some sexy queer joy. While I have a lot of complicated feelings about “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and its creator Joss Whedon, I have no such complications about “Under Your Spell.” The song and scene remains one of the slyly and not-so slyly gayest numbers pretty much ever. I can feel you inside? Spread beneath your Willow tree? You make me COM-plete? All while literally LEVITATING OFF A BED. Bless Amber Benson forever for this. Truly. Happy Monday, kittens.

Meet Your New Princesses

Well, it’s official. Disney has completed its $71.3 billion acquisition of 21st Century Fox’s vast film and TV properties (but not Fox News – a.k.a. Trump’s Gorilla Channel – unfortunately). What that means is there are a whoooooole lotta new Disney princesses running around this world than there were last week. For instance, Buffy Summers is now a member of the Disney princess pantheon. What, ex-cheerleaders from Southern California Hellmouths who died and came back can totally be princesses. I mean, she already had the kicky boots and everything.

The one thing I can say for sure is there will be a lot more weapons training at the Disney princess slumber parties moving forward.



Mulan is already down with these new activities, obviously.



And Merida is very excited to check out Buffy’s crossbow collection.



But what I’m most looking forward to is the nice, long conversation Willow plans to have with Elsa.



Though, I must admit, Buffy will have some competition for the Fiercest New Disney Princess title with Bernadine Harris.



And, it goes without saying, Ripley is high up there, too.



But, if we’re really being honest, no one beats new Disney Queen Dr. Frank N. Furter. No one.

Re-Buffied

So everything is bad, except for this, which is good. This year keeps bringing new, real horrors. (Let’s see, the GOP congress has voted to OK polluting streams, killing hibernating animals and selling your online browsing history. Oh, and Donald fucking Trump is president.) But, this, this is a good thing amid the terrible. Entertainment Weekly reunited almost (alas, no Giles or Faith, alas) the entire cast of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” And it was glorious. On the anniversary date earlier this month I already waxed on (and off – sorry, wrong nostalgia) about what the show has meant to me. But, as I said on Autostraddle, the best thing the Buffy did was open generations up to the radical realization that there is no such thing as just a girl.

So with this reunion, I just want to sit back and enjoy. Also, Willow and Tara Alyson and Amber look great, no? I am just pretending Oz isn’t there. Also I guess they had to leave Miss Kitty Fantastico at home.

Throwback Thursday: Lesbian Witch Edition

And now, for a real Throwback Thursday. I did a Buffy “Once More with Feeling” soundtrack re-listen not that long ago and, hot damn, if I didn’t still know pretty much all the words. And when it comes to “Under Your Spell,” goodness if that song still doesn’t bring a blush to my face. For something released in 2001 (which, mind you, was before a single state in the U.S. legally recognized same-sex marriages – the first was Massachusetts in 2004) it was wildly progressive and, yes, all kinds of sexy. I mean, hello:

The moon to the tide
I can feel you inside

I'm under your spell
Surging like the sea
Pulled to you so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my willow tree

You make me com-plete
You make me com-plete
You make me com-plete
You make me

Spread beneath my willow tree? Joss Whedon, you dirty bird. And when you couple that with the visuals? Willow disappearing with a smile down south. Tara literally levitating off the bed while singing you make me com…plete. Dirty bird, indeed. Sure, today we’ve got so much more and such varied representations of lesbian and bisexual female characters on TV. But never forget that 14 years ago a lesbian witch made her lesbian witch girlfriend literally float off the bed because, fuck yeah, the sex was that good. Also, you know, the love. But then, they both kind of makes you do the wacky.

What geekery is this?

True story: I loved action figures as a kid. I know, not to surprising given my overall continued tomboy tendencies. But I LOVED them. I could play quietly for hours, lost in my own fantasy world where my Han Solo figure bickered with my Buck Rogers figure and Princess Leia went ahead and rescued Superman instead. My childhood fantasy world was kind of awesome. But being a geek then was different than being a geek now. Now it has a cache. Geeks, like bowties – if you ask The Doctor, are cool. But then, geeks were geeks. So it’s with a slightly bemused sense of satisfaction when I watched all the pretty ladies clamor to get their geek on last weekend weekend at Comic-Con.

So in celebration of everyone’s inner and outer geek, here are some lovely ladies getting geeky. Geekery, it’s not just for geeks anymore.

Alyson Hannigan

Willow will always be my favorite geek. Always.

Anna TorvThese should be Special Agent Olivia Dunham action figures, but otherwise, perfect.

Lucy LawlessWhen lesbian subtext and geek fandom collides.

Anika Noni RoseSo this is kind of more of a “doll,” but Anika looks so happy to be holding herself it’s pretty geeky.

Meryl StreepThis is her “Fantastic Mr. Fox” figure. If there was a real Meryl Streep action figure I would buy two. One to keep new in the box and another to play with. Wait, that sounded weird. Good.

Elizabeth MitchellThese aren’t technically action figures either, but getting this excited about your cake doppelgangers is's adorageeky.

Yvonne StrahovskiAlso, not an action figure. But it’s a light saber. So, you know, even better.

Sarah Michelle GellarBuffy is using Darth Vader as an armrest. Your argument is invalid.

Felicia DayIf Felicia in a squid hat doesn’t brighten your day, then you are probably not a geek.

Natalie PortmanGeeks and politics, two great things that go great together.

Karen GillanNow that is how you play with action figures.

Britt Robertson, Maggie Q, Yvonne Strahovski, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Morrison & Anna TorvI don’t know who Britt Robertson is, but otherwise, GEEKGASM.

Check out the special Comic-Con issue of The Hollywood Reporter for more on Sarah, Anna, Yvonne, Maggie et al.

Crack open a good book

Every New Year, I make a resolution to read more. Not that I don’t read, clearly. I read every single day, all the time, non-fucking-stop. Newspapers, magazines, books, The Internets. But I don’t always read the best writing. And I don’t always read as many really great books as I’d like to. So this New Year, once again, I’m making a pledge to be good to myself and my brain and pick up some excellent books. They say print is dead, but you’ll never look as sexy holding a Kindle as you do a book – trust me.

Christina Ricci
Audrey Hepburn
Emily Haines
Marilyn Monroe
Evangeline Lilly
Marion Cotillard
Jessica Stam
Kate Winslet
Winona Ryder
Alyson HanniganWillow is my favorite book nerd, period.

So ladies, let me have it, what should I be reading this year?

Tit for Tat

Things I love: Women. Boobs. Women touching other women’s boobs. What can I say? I’m a gal with simple pleasures. So, imagine my delight when they all came together in the new Funny or Die video “The Booby Scare.” Let me set it up for you as quickly as possible because me blathering on just keeps you seeing Alyson Hannigan, Emily Deschanel, Kat McPhee, Minka Kelly and Jaime King touch each others’ breasts. Wait, I think that's all the set up you need. And, go.

THE BOOBY SCARE Featuring Alyson Hannigan, Emily Deschanel, Kat McPhee, Minka Kelly and Jaime King - watch more funny videos

OK, three things:

1. Emily has amazing cleavage.

2. It’s amazing to watch Alyson touch Emily’s amazing cleavage.

3. “Touch a Tit, Save a Tit” is an amazing slogan.

But, in all seriousness, in an age of massive health care inequity, continued under funding of women’s health initiatives and close to 200,000 new breast cancer diagnoses each year it’s important to remember to touch ’em like there’s no tomorrow. And if it takes a bunch of gorgeous, smart, conscientious ladies groping each others’ breasts to remind you of that fact, well, that is what I call the best tit for tat ever. Happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month, ladies.

p.s. God, I can’t wait for them to do the pelvic exam PSA next. Ahem.

My Weekend Crush

My Buffy love to start out the week naturally got me thinking about the rest of the Scooby Gang. And when I think of the Scoobies, I automatically think of Willow. Now, there's nothing particularly new about the smart, geeky gal as a character. She has been around forever. For reference please see Anne Shirley, Velma Dinkley, Daria Morgendorffer, et al. But what made Willow different was always Alyson Hannigan. Alyson brought brains, vulnerability and an unshakable likability to Willow. She was never just the smart girl. Or just the geeky girl. Or just the girl who had to be rescued. She was a complete person, like someone you might actually run into in the halls at school – well, you know, if you were really lucky.

As Willow made her transformation from shy nerd to shy witch to not-so-shy lesbian witch, what stayed consistent in Alyson's portrayal was her basic decency and outrageous adorableness. Even when she went all dark and veiny and I'm going to end the world as we know it, you still rooted for Willow because she was Willow. To take a character from the softer side of Sears to the dark side of the moon is no small feat. But we never gave up on her because we believed in Alyson. She rewarded our loyalty by creating one of the richest, most adored lesbian characters on television to date. See, nice gals can finish first, and so can the geeky ones. Happy weekend, all.

Buffy #3: The Return of Willow

Willow! Willow is back! Willow is back with a vengeance! (Relax, not the black-eyed, back-haired, black-hearted vengeance we saw from her at the end of season six.) The third comic in the Buffy Season 8 series hits store shelves today. Looks like something Wicca this way comes. Sunnydale’s resident red-haired lesbian witch makes her first full appearance in the new comics to face off with former-witch, turned-rat, turned-back-to-witch Amy in a “witches’ battle royal.” Our cover girl is looking good. Damn good. Check out those pants. And that top. Are we sure this isn’t Vamp Willow? Speaking of Willow looking unWillow-like (but in a very good way), have you seen the shots of Alyson Hannigan in a bikini making the rounds? Oh the freckles…they’re…everywhere.

Sing out sisters

Ladies ruled the 49th annual Grammy Awards last night. A recap:

Revenge, Thy Name Is Grammy

The Dixie Chicks (I. Love. Them.) cleaned house going five for five and taking home the night’s biggest awards. Who is ashamed now?

It’s a Woman’s World

We all knew Christina Aguilera had pipes. Now we know she has got soul. She blew the roof off honoring James Brown with “It’s a Man’s, Man’s World.” On your knees girl, damn!

Got Fries With That Shake?

Oh Shakira, Shakira. You’re whirling dervish hips make everything seem right with the world. Thank you.

Warning: Objects May Appear More Orange Than They Actually Are

Alyson Hannigan, I will love you always for playing Willow, but might I suggest going just a smidge lighter on the Mystic Tan.

Warning: Objects May Appear More Gay Than They Actually Are

Pink is still married, right? Bummer.

Maybe It’s a Polka Album

Scarlett Johansson* is taking her (apparent) new boyfriend Justin Timberlake’s profession to heart and announced that she is working on her first album. ScarJo From the Block, anyone?

*Yes, that is indeed Scarlett. Unless, of course, this imposter fooled the Recording Academy, the Grammy announcer and Don Henley. In which case, damn, she is good.