So Sue Me

Four, four days in a row! *cackles at the thundering sky like The Count* Hey, want some more good queer news? If you’re a queer lady who likes baking, comedy, world travel and other queer ladies, I think I have the show for you. Sue Perkins, one half of the O.G. Great British Bake-Off/Great British Baking Show host team is back with a new series on Netflix. And, goodness, it looks very, very interesting. I dunno about you, but I know I could use some welcome distraction these days.

“Sue Perkins: Perfectly Legal” seems to be less a standard adventure travel show and more like a self-discovery show that travels. The British comic journeys around the world to get shot (while wearing protective body armor), take psychedelics (and pays for it) and have rather unsavory conversations about the prevalence of bestiality (poor, poor donkeys).

I’ve watched the first episode and it plays very much like a sometimes witty, sometimes bewildering journey through a middle-aged lesbian’s midlife crisis. So, then, exactly as advertised. The series consists of three episodes, so I look forward to watching her do more crazy things on camera in lieu of buying a little red sportscar.

p.s. Endless gratitude for the continued support of My Little Life Implosion Fund so far. I plan to respond to the kind emails, posts and moral support that you all have lavished on me recently. I am a wee bit overwhelmed right now, but I promise you I read them all.

How to Donate:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

My Weekend Crush

Well, it's not a new season of GBBO. But it is Mel and Sue playing hitmen, so I'll take it. Imagine my delight when I realized 1) Mel & Sue are back on TV, 2) Mel & Sue are back on TV on a new streaming service I somehow get (that would be Peacock), and 3)Mel & Sue are back on TV on a new streaming service I somehow get that is now available to watch. I cannot vouche for this show, but I can vouch for how much I miss seeing Mel & Sue play off one another about cakes or dead bodies, subject is flexible. So now guess my weekend plans are set. Have a happy, safe, healthy & righteous weekend, all. 

Hit Women

I still very much miss Mel and Sue on GBBO. Sure, Noel and Sandi are fine, but they lack that chemistry. Instead, their shtick is being mildly annoyed with one another. Mel and Sue, they could effortlessly riff off one another and complimented the other – making an even better whole. And, you know, they were really sweet with the contestants.

But, if we can’t have sweet, let’s have murder! Yes, I am aware how truly terrible that transition was, and I am sorry. Mel and Sue have signed on to star in a new sitcom as – wait for it – assassins. But, don’t worry, in truly Mel and Sue fashion they’re bumbling assassins. Like, truly rubbish killers. I hope in one episode they accidentally fall into a cake while trying to take out a mark. Now that’s what I call getting your just desserts. I know, I know – I’ll show my way out.

Ready, Set, Baking Innuendo!

I will happily confess to spending many a lovely hours watching the newest season of “The Great British Bake Off” (no, I refuse to call it the “Great British Baking Show,” like America demands, its GBBO dammit). While I do not hate the new judges – in fact they’re perfectly serviceable for the most part – I very much miss the zany and inappropriate chemistry of Mel and Sue. They brought a je ne sais quoi to the whole affair. Though, if we’re being really honest, it was their inappropriate banter I loved the most. And, you know, their genuine sweetness and caring toward the contestants. But, yeah, the naughty bits did not hurt. I mean, you can’t blame Mary Berry for being excited about eating some carpet when there’s all this talk of soggy bottoms and moist insides, can you?

p.s. Not baking, but if you feel like following my adventures making my very first fried green tomatoes ever, check out my thread on Twitter from last night. I hope Idgie and Ruth would be proud.

Great British Eat It

So I guess the “Great British Bake-Off” has made its Channel 4 debut. And while normally the start of a new season of my favorite televised Xanax would fill me with joy and soothing shots of the British countryside, whatever has returned can never hold candle to what was. This new Mary Berry, Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc-less incarnation just makes me sad. No one gives a fart about Paul Hollywood, and you know it. Mary, Sue and Mel were the show. Well, that and all the overly polite and totally lovely British folks reacting to their disastrous bakes. But, for real, Mary, Mel and Sue, forever. Particularly Mary saying something a little, um, saucy.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Unbowed

Yes, yes, I know – bow ties are cool. Loosened bow ties? Sometimes, on the beautiful lady, they’re even cooler. Plus, it’s been an insane a year so far and we’re not even half way through. So loosen that bow tie, ladies. Because who the hell knows what is coming next.

Cate Blanchett & Emily Blunt

That this photoshoot exists is proof there is a god and she’s definitely a lesbian.

Sue Perkins

Speaking of lesbians, way to represent, Sue.

Angelina Jolie

I mean, she’s single now – right?

Jane Lynch

It’s always so strange to see her as Spencer’s mom on “Criminal Minds.” But, fear not, she’ll be back to her womanizing comedy ways soon.

Angela Bassett

Sometimes I feel like I watch “American Horror Story” just for her. A lot of the time, actually.

Naomi Watts

Whenever I see Naomi I just think, but seriously, WTF was “Mulholland Drive” about?

Kate Winslet

Mean of her to steal the fainting couch when she knows we’ll need it.

Monica Bellucci

Don’t smoke. Or Monica will stop wearing this.

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

The cutest prom dates ever.

Relationship Goals

Sue Perkins did THAT #BAFTATV pic.twitter.com/k3I3yVaFHp

— phoebs🍑 (@stellgibsons) May 14, 2017

Hard same, Sue Perkins. HARD SAME.

p.s. fear not, I will be talking about Gillian on American Gods, soon.

Nononononononononononononononono

Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc will step down as hosts of The Great British Bake Off, Channel 4 says https://t.co/NSbYII4yvO

— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) September 13, 2016

THIS YEAR CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL. TO HELL I SAY.

Get Your Bake On

So after last week’s heavy national news week, and some unexpectedly heavy personal news of my own (it’s OK, I’m fine, just costly, disruptive and frustrating), I was looking for some diversion over the weekend. Since I’d long-since depleted the singular season of “The Great British Bake-Off” on Netflix, I went looking for more flour-infused happiness elsewhere. (For the love of Mary Berry, add some more seasons immediately.) Luckily, thanks to the wonders of YouTube, I was able to soothe away this past week’s worries with earlier seasons of the show. There is just something so lovely about watching all these nice, normal and wonderfully British people bake stuff. Unlike American cooking competitions, there’s so much less nastiness and narcissism. Also, considerably less artificial food coloring. It’s all just so damn nice. The world could use more of that. On your mark, get set, bake!

p.s. Also we could use a lot more of Sue Perkins and her very lesbian blazers.

Out takes

A TV show with an out lesbian as its star? Yes, please, sign me up. A TV show with an out lesbian as its star playing a lesbian lead character? Yes, please, sign me up. A TV show with an out lesbian as its star playing a lesbian lead character who is a vet? Yes, please, sign me up! So many good things. Real lesbians! TV lesbians! Veterinarians which means cute animals! Yes, yes, so many yeses.

But then, um, then I watched the new British comedy “Heading Out” and, well. Yes? Look, I know it’s practically sacrilege to not like a show by a lesbian about lesbians. But I kind of didn’t like BBC Two’s “Heading Out.” And I really, really, really wanted to. It just didn’t work. At least not the pilot episode.

You see, on paper I should love a show starring out British comic Sue Perkins about a vet who gets pushed out of the closet on her 40th birthday. While I’m not familiar with Sue’s work, I have heard good things about it and was very much looking forward to seeing her new show. And then I did. Now perhaps it’s just that something got lost in translation in the British humor. Like that whole netball bit. But I just didn’t enjoy the awkward, and even callous, character played by Sue. Not that I have a problem with awkward characters, but they need a certain amount of charm to work well. And so far, charming is not the adjective I’d apply to Sue’s Sara. More like a ungainly adolescent with legal access to pentobarbital.

Is there space to grow? Of course. And I certainly hope it does. Pilots are often the worst episode of any series, because everyone is still finding their feet. The setup is promising. And I’ll watch almost anything to catch a glimpse of Shelley Conn. (Like really, anything. I watched that boring dinosaur show a lot longer than I should have.) And sexy Lexy from “Lip Service” Anna Skellern will also appear. And that’s a lot to like. So, maybe I’ll tough it out and get over the dead cat in the handbag. I certainly hope, that like the gay experience in general, it gets better.