Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Come Hela or Phyllis Schlafly

Now, this is truly scary, and just in time for Halloween. Look, we know Cate Blanchett can play a great villain. Like she is Hela good at it, yo. (Yes, I know, you saw what I did there…) But the Goddess of Death is nothing compared to the sheer villainy she will next take on. The Marvelous Ms. Blanchett is set to star as conservative firebrand/horrid person Phyllis Schlafly in the new FX limited series “Mrs. America,” about the ERA era. For those who need a memory jog, the ERA was (and still is) the Equal Rights Amendment. It’s the as-yet still unpassed amendment to the United States Constitution that would have granted equal rights to all in this country regardless of gender. It sought to end discrimination based on sex in all avenues of public life – from employment to housing and property rights. The whole she-bang, if you will.

While it was approved by the House and Senate in 1971 and 1972, respectively, it fell short of the 38 state ratification threshold (reaching only 35 before the deadline passed) in large part because of the right-wing fear mongering of Phyllis Schlafly. She claimed it would hurt housewives and force women to be drafted. Her anti-feminist, anti-abortion, anti-ERA antics changed the course of history – for the worse. And women today are still not truly guaranteed full civil rights as a result. If you’re wondering if this still matters, may I introduce you to the gender wage gap – for starters.

Now the series isn’t just about Schlafly. It will focus on the whole ERA movement of the 70s including feminist champions like Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Shirley Chisholm, Bella Abzug and Jill Ruckelshaus. This will be Cate’s very first on-screen appearance on American television, and goodness it’s a humdinger.

Now, some might bristle at the thought of Cate playing such a despicable human. But it takes true talent to show the depth of depravity and duplicity of the human heart.

So bring on the villainy, Cate. We know in the depths of your heart you’re really a Carol just playing a Phyllis.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Meet the Alphas

Now, someone on Twitter a little bit ago tweeted me to compare Bette Porter to Kamala Harris. And, to be honest, I’ve been shook ever since. Senator Kamala Harris is 100 percent the straight world’s Alpha Bette. No, make that 1,000 percent.

Obviously, there are some similarities. Both are incredibly intelligent women. Both are of mixed-race backgrounds. Both have achieved great success in their respective fields. Both are politically active. Both are vocal and outspoken. Both can rock the hell out of a power suit. Both basically kick endless ass. And, you know, neither are bad to look at.

And the similarities don’t end there. Here is a comparison of Bette Porter and Straight Bette Porter.

Neither suffer fools.

Like, really really don’t suffer fools.

Both do this with their hands when they’re being particularly sassy.

And both have an incredible laugh.

In conclusion. Alpha Bette meet Straight Bette. Now, that’s a ticket I’d vote for in a heartbeat.

p.s. This should go without saying, but both Alpha Bette and Straight Alpha Bette want you to vote for Democrats in the midterm elections in exactly one week from today, Nov. 6.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Vacation Vixen: Sandra Oh

Oh, Sandra. You are so right. It is an honor just to be Asian. Something to think about on my last vacation/honeymoon day, and always.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Vacation Vixen: Stephanie Beatriz

Mazel tov to the bisexual actress who just got hitched herself. Celebratory tank tops all around.

p.s. Bisexuality is a real sexuality and when bisexual women marry men it does not negate their bisexuality. Period.

Friday, October 19, 2018

My Weekend Wedding

I am getting married tomorrow. Yes, married. Yes, tomorrow. Yes, really. I have found the woman who makes every day feel whole. And I am blissfully, totally, unendingly happy that we have agreed to be each other’s forever. I am also grateful and proud that we are able to declare our love for each other and have it recognized by our city, state and federal government – at least for now.

Being in love in the age of Trump feels like, in itself, an act of rebellion. For marginalized groups, joy is resistance. We will resist the hatred. We will resist the bigotry. We will resist the corruption. We will resist the cruelty.

I don’t know what the days ahead and the rest of this administration will mean for our marriage. But I know that with her I can face anything. Holding each other’s hand we will shine light into the dark places and offer our other hands to those who need it. Thank you, in advance, for your well wishes. And, as always, thank you for reading. Happy wedding weekend, all. I am getting married tomorrow.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Turkey Basting Time

I have no idea whether this movie will be any good. But it’s got lesbians and a turkey, so you know I’m in. This feels a little like “What’s Cooking?” crossed with “Home for the Holidays.” Yes, I’m a tad worried about the straight male friend. But then, I’m always a tad worried about the straight male friend – and, you know, with reason.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Dance, Dance Revolution

I do not know how to process the amazingness of this video. Kate McKinnon getting her dance ON with Leslie Jones at an SNL after party earlier this year. I just. I can’t. I… *watches it again* *and again* *and one more time* *yep, again* *one last time* *for science*

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Ayiyiyiyi In the Carpool Lane

Somewhere in a parallel universe this is what happened to Xena and Gabrielle. They got married, moved to the suburbs, had kids and then raised them to be kick ass warrior princesses determined to smash the patriarchy. And, you know, in their downtime they still grab a Chakram and do a little smashing themselves.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Go Vote, Young Youth

The truth is, if Democrats are going to win in the midterms we’re going to have to get non-voters – particularly young people – to get out and vote. The other truth is there is no bottom low enough for Trump voters to stop supporting him. This isn’t about changing GOP voters’ minds. This is about finding people who don’t think their vote matters, or don’t think they have someone to vote for, or don’t care about voting period to actually get off the couch and cast a ballot. I don’t know what the answer is. When GOP voters happily vote against their own interests it makes things very hard. (Hey, how are those tariffs working out for you, blue collar America? Luxuriating in that extra $1.50 a week, working class white voters?) Anyway. Like I was saying, do you know any youths of voting age? Maybe talk with them and see if you can’t get them to register and vote. And even if you aren’t a youth, do you want these mean old fogies shaping our futures? Yeah, me either. Let’s like all our futures depend on it.

Friday, October 12, 2018

My Weekend Crush

This has been yet another an infernal week in an infernal month in an internal year in an infernal administration. But, guess what, we still deserve nice things. And happiness. And ecstasy. So here is Katie McGrath, yes that Katie McGrath of “Supergirl,” and Gemma Chan, yes that Gemma Chan of “Crazy Rich Asians,” making out in bed. Remember, for marginalized and oppressed communities, joy is an act of rebellion. So please, enjoy the hell out of this clip. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Oh, and here they are making out naked in bed. What can I say, I’m a joy giver.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

The Dismantling the Patriarchy Place

Hey, are you watching “The Good Place?” Of course you are. Do you love Tahani? Of course you love Tahani. Well please enjoy her actress Jameela Jamil talking about how the Kardashians and their “influencer” ilk as “double agents of the patriarchy.” Something to think about as her husband goes to the White House today to talk with his buddy The Hate Cheeto.

Oh, and be sure to watch “The Good Place” tonight instead of, say, the news. No one needs to see that meeting of the, uh, “minds.”

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Vagitarians Unite

Look, I don’t necessarily think women should start having their vags compete. But if we did this would be the ultimate vadge diss track. Also, I would be remiss to allow Awkwafina’s moment pass without recognizing she started as a rapped, yo. And I think we can all agree that a vagina is 50 times better than a cis straight white male’s penis. In fact, 50 is low. Way low.

p.s. Good luck explaining to your co-workers what song you’re humming today.

Tuesday, October 09, 2018

No Text List

Everything is awful, per usual. Even more awful now thanks to our new, illegitimate, super rapey supreme court justice. And, to make matters worse, The Hate Cheeto can now text every single American and you can’t block it. Who wants to join me for a Hurl Your Phone Into The Sun Party?

Monday, October 08, 2018

A Lisbeth By Any Other Name

Man, I must be getting rusty. I had no idea Claire Foy was playing Lisbeth Salander until the trailers started showing up on my TV. And now I’m intrigued. And that is because I’ve been intrigued with Lisbeth Salander for more than eight years now. With each new incarnation – from Noomi Rapace to Rooney Mara/Therese Belivet to now Queen Elizabeth II.

Now I haven’t read the book, so I have no idea what’s happening in this film. I see there appears to be another woman squaring off with Lisbeth who likes to wear red. So there’s that. And, I also see that there is some sort of lady-on-lady action happening. But I don’t think either woman is Lisbeth, unless she is either a) taller and has longer hair than appears, or b) covering up her signature dragon tattoo because it is not visible on all that back. Ahem.

So, thoughts? Who has read the book? And if you have read the book, how day is it? I ask the important questions because I care.

Friday, October 05, 2018

My Weekend Crush

Kittens, I am unabashedly excited about this and I want everyone to know it. Now I’m already Doctor Who fan (having finally watched every.single.episode from the Tenth Doctor on – I’m working on the Eccleston season, I swear). But this Thirteenth Doctor, well, she certainly is something. And, believe you me, I love all the loaded language in these trailers. Who is in charge? She is. It’s about time. Damn right it is. Or, as we should say, it’s about timey-wimey. Happy bring on the new Doctor weekend, all.

Thursday, October 04, 2018

Hannah & Her Fangirls

This is a short series I call Hannah Gadsby posing with people and/or things I like. It’s short because most of the known universe (no offense, Tasmanian friends) didn’t know who Hannah Gadsby was until this summer when “Nanette” was released. But now that it has, and we all loved it, and then she showed up at the Emmys, and we all loved it some more, I feel it is time to give Hannah her place within the (very short) pantheon of stars. I mean, isn’t meeting other famous people one of the main perks of being famous? Well, that and the money and the adulation and the People magazine covers – clearly.

Hannah & Sandra Oh

After the Emmys they apparently offered their services as the “hosts for the leaving early awards.” 10 out of 10, would hire.

Hannah & Jill Soloway (fine, Will Ferrell is also there)

Cast Hannah in “Transparent.” Now that Tambor is gone the series should just hire as many quality, non-trash people as possible to atone.

Hannah & Jodie Foster

This is what happens when you crank the gay up to 11.

Hannah & Lindt Chocolate Truffles

Highly relatable image is highly relatable.

Hannah & Her Dogs

Look, not all superheroes have alien cats. Some have Italian truffle hounds.

Also, while she’s not exactly posing with her, Hannah has a long series of photos petitioning to be fellow Aussie Ruby Rose’s understudy on Instagram. And, sometimes, a three-way comparison of herself, Ruby and Vladimir Putin because why not.

It is, well, it is well worth a look.

Wednesday, October 03, 2018

On Female Rage

Today I am heeding Meryl Streep’s battle cry to take my broken heart and turn it into art. The unprecedented chaos of living through this unprecedentedly cruel administration demands it. At this rate, we may all die of blind, unfiltered rage before 2020. Or exhaustion. Or fear. Or despair. But, mostly, rage. So here I give my grand treatise on female range in the age of Trump and the complicit GOP.

Men: It’s a scary time to be a man.

Men: But think of these men’s reputations

Men: Don’t be so hysterical.

Men: Well, she was drunk, so.

Men: Boys will be boys!

In conclusion, look out fellas. November is coming, and we are registered and ready.

Tuesday, October 02, 2018

Vested Interest

They say the best defense is a good offense. So in the ever escalating war to win queer gals' hearts, Cate Blanchett presents as evidence 10 pictures of herself wearing a vest (sometimes in lieu of a top, ahem). And, remember, a vest is basically a tank top with buttons. And, well, it is Tuesday. Well played, Blanchett, well played.

Happy Who Needs Tank Tops When You’ve Got Vests Tuesday.

Monday, October 01, 2018

All About Gill

Remember when I told you that Cate Blanchett and Gillian Anderson were in an escalating war to win over the hearts and minds of queer women everywhere? Well, Gillian just went all in. Last month it was announced she will star alongside Lily James in a stage adaptation of “All About Eve” featuring music by PJ Harvey in London next February. Like, I think the only word in that whole sentence I’m not madly in love with is “February” (rubbish short month, if we’re being honest about things). And, here’s the kicker, Cate Blanchett herself was originally set to star in the production as aging Broadway star Margo Channing. But when she dropped out, Gillian stepped in. So your move, Cate. The queer gals are waiting.