Thursday, April 27, 2017

Vacation Vixen: San Junipero

Have you had a chance to get sucked into our possible near-future dystopia yet? No. Well, that’s fine. I know it’s more than a little unnerving to see a society that has scapegoats godlessness as the reason for its problems and stripped women of their most basic rights aso ne of the solutions. But, hey, who’s to say that future is ours. Maybe, just maybe, we get the good kind where we all get to live forever while listening to effervescent 80s pop? I mean, a girl can dream.

p.s. If you have not experienced “San Junipero” yet, do not press play above. Go watch, and maybe rewatch (and rewatch again) and then press play. Trust me, the wait is worth it because wondering is practically the best part.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Vacation Vixen: The Handmaid's Tale

So today “The Handmaid’s Tale” premieres on Hulu. And I highly, highly recommend you watch. But I will also freely admit that it is difficult to watch. Dystopia cuts the deepest when you can see, with terrifying clarity, exactly how we got there. And in these times, dystopian futures feel ever present.

One of the exciting things about the new series is how it has taken a classic feminist masterpiece and expanded it to be an intersectional work. It has centered characters of color and LGBTQ characters, and made their stories integral to the overall narrative. Much credit goes to Alexis Bledel as Ofglen and Samira Wiley as Moira for creating two of the most empathetic figures in the story so far. You will root and weep for them, in equal parts.

Unfortunately, Autostraddle has decided against doing weekly recaps of the series as previously planned. But, I did review the first three episodes, which were released to critics and now available streaming today. You can read it here now and I hope you join the conversation. Because this is a show that deserves conversation – and contemplation. I know I’ll be watching, and thinking, and hoping for a better future.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Vacation Vixen: Twofer

Apologies, I was traveling yesterday. And then today I was recouping from traveling. If napping was an Olympic sport, I would be a champion this week. So here is my twofer makeup for my lack of vixens. Sarah and Amanda make a smart couple in smart tuxedos. Maybe Ryan Murphy could make them a couple on the next chapter of American Horror Story. Wait, on second thought, couples on that show have a terrible track record. And the last thing we need is more dead lesbians on television - or anywhere else. Wear those tuxes in peace, ladies.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Vacation Vixen: Jessie Graff

Superheroes might not be real, but Jessie Graff sure is. The stuntwoman and “American Ninja Warrior” regular is awesome, and I mean that in both the “super cool” and “awe inspiring” definitions. If you watch “Supergirl,” you’ve watched Jessie Graff. She has also done stunts for “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” “Castle,” “Chuck,” “Teen Wolf.” I could go on. So if you’re into incredibly kickass ladies who post insane workout videos, can perform superhuman feats, are ridiculously strong, have abs for days, and is mom to an adorable pet pig, definitely Jessie Graff is the woman for you.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Vacation Vixen: Cush Jumbo

Where has Cush Jumbo been all my life? Granted, it’s my own fault. I didn’t watch “The Good Wife.” And I didn’t notice her fully in “Lip Service.” (Though, to be fair, she played Jay’s fiancée and I tried in general to ignore all things about Jay.) But, goodness, am I glad I started watching and recapping “The Good Fight” and finally discovered her. Because, damn, she’s good. She’s really good. And, if her Instagram is to believed, she seems cool AF in real life, too. And thanks to a second season renewal for “The Good Fight,” I know we’ll be seeing a lot more of her in the future. And, no need to fight it, that’s a very good thing.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Vacation Vixen: Lucy Liu

As one of the stars of the shows I watch regularly, but rarely write about, Lucy Liu has always been a favorite. On “Elementary” she is not just a compliment to, but an equal of Sherlock’s. Her Watson is no second fiddle. And, I dare say, she dresses much more smartly as well. I particularly enjoy how Lucy has kept Joan’s tie-game going this season.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Vacation Vixen: Ksenia Solo

Oh my goodness, do I miss me some Lil Mama. Kenzi will go down in the pantheon of Best TV BFFs. Not only was Mackenzie Malikov funny and loyal, she was brave and smart and no one did a Russian accent better, no one. Also, she didn’t look bad in a tank top. Not bad at all. I know Ksenia has since moved on to the series “Turn: Washington's Spies” (which has its final season this year). And she also has some movies ready to come out. But to me, no matter what, she’ll always be the Kenziest Kenzi. And I remember her Kenzisms always.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Vacation Vixen: The Good Place

Guess what, I’m on vacation! I’ve got some time off so I am flying back to the Midwest to hang with my family while I try to forget we have a toxic trash fire as president. Unfortunately, I will be flying United (it’s way too late and too expensive at this point to change carriers, I checked). So hopefully I make it there and back without being beaten bloody, yanked from my seat or dragged through the aisles. But, ever the wily business people, I’m sure the airline will simply turn this into a moneymaking opportunity by offering “less beatings” as an upgrade fee soon, just like “more legroom.”

Anyway. While I am gone I will, of course, be leaving you some vixens to enjoy. But before I leave, as a public service might I re-suggest a show for any of you who find a little free time and/or need to escape the smoldering trash heap of our current democracy. As I’ve said before, “The Good Place” is a great, weird, highly entertaining show. And if all those adjectives won’t convince you, perhaps the fact that main character Eleanor (played by the always engaging Kristen Bell) might genuinely be into Tahani (played by the completely worthy of being into Jameela Jamil). Plus, now that the show has been renewed for a second season, perhaps the series will do more than just flirt with the idea. No time like the present. See you on the flip side, kittens.

Friday, April 14, 2017

My Weekend Worry

I am still processing the end of last season’s “Orange Is the New Black.” I am, quite frankly, still not over it. I will never be over Poussey. And the way things ended for the others, well, there is clearly no going back for so many of Litchfield’s ladies. In some ways I feel the writers have written themselves into this corner with no return. So as someone who has invested, deeply, in all these women’s lives – I more than worry. I feel a little sick. But, again, I’m invested. So I’ll watch. And worry. And hope that what I know can’t end well will. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

The Good Recap

Just a reminder, folks, that I am still recapping “The Good Fight” over at Autostraddle. This coming Sunday is the first season finale. But you can catch up on all the recaps here. And, I’d love it if you did. Also, it’s a smart, smart show and I think you’ll like it – I really do. And, man, has it been fun to recap. Sure, it’s not perfect. It’s had some issues, particularly with the disappearing girlfriend. She’s back now, I hope for good. And there have even been some lady kisses. Mostly I am glad such a sharp, female-focused show that hates Donald Trump almost as much as I do is on the air. People always say loving the same things makes for a strong relationship. And that’s true. But it sure doesn’t hurt to hate the same things, too. Thanks for reading my recaps. One left, kittens.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

There Will Be Blood

After last week’s series of spectacular, spectacular, spectacular (even if old) failures in the advertising world (though, whew, thanks Pepsi for ending racism!), here is an ad that is actually good. Very, very, very good, in fact. It came out last year across the pond. But for those who might have missed it then or want to relive the glory, here is possibly the very first advertisement about periods that actually shows blood. No, relax, not that blood. But is ridiculous, really, that something 51 percent of the population does once a month still gets cloaked in so much embarrassment and squeamishness. Look, almost all women bleed (trans sisters and some others with physical limitations excluded). So, you know, deal with it.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Well Hela There, Stranger

So, like, is it cool if I root for the bad guy in this one? The first “Thor: Ragnarok” trailer is out an it is filled with Cate Blanchett in all her Hela glory – antlers and all. So, as I was saying, is it OK to root for the bad guy on this one? I am also digging the trailer’s Totally 80s vibe. But, seriously, have we talked about Goth Cate Blanchett? Sure, that helmet headress thingie seems a little ... pointy. But I still wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating poached eggs over creamed spinach, if you know what I mean.

Look, I like a Norse god as much as the next gal. But who says we have to always root for the blond guy? Judge for yourself.

p.s. For all you “Lost Girl” fans in withdrawl, Ragnarok gives us a little sweet nostalgia with Valkyries and trips to Hel. Now all we need is a bisexual succubus and a doctor wearing hotpants.

We Will

Well here is something lovely to start your week. This short film was created in support of marriage equality in Australia. May this be your year you fully achieve it, mates. Until then, keep up the good fight and hold on to those you love tight.

Friday, April 07, 2017

My Weekend Sing

When you're weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes – you should definitely sing “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper. As some of you with way-back memories will remember, it was one of my father’s favorite songs. And she is, of course, a longtime Friend of the Blog. So please enjoy this sing-along, and don’t be shy. Join in. You’ll feel better, I promise. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 06, 2017

Anti-Christian Lesbian Underground, Unite!

Hello, gay birds. In these alternately ridiculous and horrible and ridiculously horrible times, one of the best coping mechanisms is just simple laughter. There’s a point it seems in almost every day when I just can’t take the headlines anymore. I have to stop checking Twitter and stop reading the news. And I have to find something else to make it all seem a little less awful. (Man, this week has been a fucking doozy, no?) Another thing, along with and sometimes at the same time as laughter, that I find helps is donating to a worthy cause. So, like Tina Fey, I am also a card-carrying member of the American Christian Lesbian Underground. Kidding, kidding – I’m not Christian. But I am a card-carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union. And I can attest to how nice it feels to give to them, no matter how small. So please enjoy Tina extoling the virtue of the ACLU and the horrors of Trump’s America. In my resistance, there is always laugher.

Wednesday, April 05, 2017

That Anne Girl

So, as you know, Anne of Green Gables is one of my things. I love her, I love the books, I love Megan Follows. So when Netflix announced the new series, I was excited and skeptical and nostalgic. It has been a slow reveal, with just a teaser trailer so far. But now the official trailer is out and while I still can’t say I’ll love it, I can say I’ve fallen in love all over again with Green Gables. There’s a reason I made my family vacation in Prince Edward Island one summer. And it’s that P.E.I. is as much a part of the books as the characters. And from what I can see so far, gosh doesn’t she look pretty?

So far, I actually think it feels pretty authentic. The new Anne is scrawnier and gawkier than Megan’s Anne, which actually works for the books. But she also looks a tad on the Pippi Longstocking side, to me at least. I can’t tell if she’ll have the same winsome charm. But I am willing to give this Anne a chance. Though she’d better start calling Diana her “bosom friend” instead of just “best friend.” If they change that I shall be most cross.

Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Gay Company

Ding, dong, the companion is gay. Who is gay? The companion is gay! Dong, dong, the companion is gayyyyyy. Look, it’s not every day venerable 54-year-old pop culture institution breaks through a symbolic barrier and gives us our first out leading character. BBC announced that for the first time the Doctor’s companion on “Doctor Who” will be a gay woman. Biracial actress Pearl Mackie plays the new companion Bill Potts. According to reports, her sexuality is revealed “pretty much straightaway in her second line of dialogue.” As Mackie told the BBC:

“[Being gay] is not the main thing that defines her character – it’s something that’s part of her and something that she’s very happy and very comfortable with.”
Now, the Doctor Who universe has had queer characters in it before. Captain Jack Harkness, Madame Vastra the lizard woman from the dawn of time and her wife Jenny, and so on. (And, was it just me or did River Song seem pretty wibbly wobbly on the Kinsey Scale? Spoilers!) But to have the companion be outright gay, well that’s something.

I’ve been an on-again, now off-again watcher of “Doctor Who.” Because of the show’s long (long, long, longlongong) history and complex (cough, occasionally convoluted, cough) storylines I sometimes feel like I’ve been dropped in the middle of a multigenerational family reunion where no one wears name tags while watching. I watched quite a bit of the 10th and 11th Doctors. I will admit to having watched none of the 12th Doctor, mostly as part of my lingering disappointment that they chose yet another straight white male character as the last of the Time Lords. But I think I might give his last season a go with Bill by his side now and cross my fingers for the 13th Doctor, whoever she may be. Ahem.

p.s. How can you not already adore a gay lady who serves chips? Heck yeah, I’ll have fries with that Tardis shake.

p.p.s. Well this is rather disappointing. Has Pearl already been given the boot before a single episode airs? Now that is the worst kind of spoilers.

Monday, April 03, 2017

Grab 'Em By The Gender Parity

You know, it still makes me sad to see Hillary. Sad, and mad. And so fucking disgusted that America couldn’t get over its internalized sexism and just give the smart, qualified, hard-working woman the job instead of human trash compactor of a man. It’s little surprise when a new survey shows only 52 percent of millennial men between the age of 18 and 25 (you know, your prototypical Bernie Bros and Trump Trainers) disagree that men should be the breadwinners and women the homemakers in a family. That’s the lowest it has been since the late 1970s, and it appears to be on a downward trend. (By contract, 74 percent of women the same age disagree with that statement.) Anyway, this is just another way of saying sexism, she ain’t over. And until we get over it, and all of the other –ism and –phobias we artificially place on each other to separate us and feel superior, this shit won’t end and we’ll be stuck having to deal with the Donald Trumps of the world. Also, damn, Hillary’s leather blazer is on point.

Friday, March 31, 2017

My Weekend Laugh

How bad have things gotten? Well, even 5-year-olds knows our current president is a joke. Speaking of jokes, this one is pretty good. Gotta laugh to keep from, I don’t know, smashing everything in sight and then crying endlessly. Or however else you cope. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, March 30, 2017


So everything is bad, except for this, which is good. This year keeps bringing new, real horrors. (Let’s see, the GOP congress has voted to OK polluting streams, killing hibernating animals and selling your online browsing history. Oh, and Donald fucking Trump is president.) But, this, this is a good thing amid the terrible. Entertainment Weekly reunited almost (alas, no Giles or Faith, alas) the entire cast of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” And it was glorious. On the anniversary date earlier this month I already waxed on (and off – sorry, wrong nostalgia) about what the show has meant to me. But, as I said on Autostraddle, the best thing the Buffy did was open generations up to the radical realization that there is no such thing as just a girl.

So with this reunion, I just want to sit back and enjoy. Also, Willow and Tara Alyson and Amber look great, no? I am just pretending Oz isn’t there. Also I guess they had to leave Miss Kitty Fantastico at home.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Dystopian Days

Remember when we used to watch dystopian fiction for fun and relaxation instead of as instruction manuals for the resistance? Yeah, so do I. But here we are and here is the latest trailer for “The Handmaid’s Tale.” I will be recapping this series for Autostraddle and am both excited and anxious about the task ahead. Excited because it looks excellent and anxious because in this political climate it’s possible to be almost a little too on the nose. Like when a roomful of white men sits around discussing whether health insurance should have to cover women’s maternity care and women’s preventative care or not. Yeah. Like I was saying, a little on the nose.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

The Trumperfly Effect

Imagine, if you will, an alternate timeline. A timeline where Emma Thompson goes out on a date with Donald Trump in 1998 after he calls her out of the blue while she is in her trailer. A timeline where they then fall in love and get married. A timeline where he finally realizes women are not just trophies to acquire or objects to ogle or things to serve him. A timeline where he finally learns that women are real human people who can be smart and funny and wonderful. A timeline where having a good, decent person in his life who is not a paid sycophants or a family member benefiting from his constant nepotism actually makes a difference. A timeline where then for the next 18 years instead of brooding about how to obtain more wealth and how to show off his power and how to vanquish his enemies, he just lives a quiet, happy life. A timeline where he stops feeling inadequate. A timeline where he stops worrying if his father ever loved him. Hell, a timeline where he even stops hating black and brown and foreign people. A timeline where he votes for Barack Obama – twice. Imagine, imagine if those butterfly wings had fluttered slightly faster how different our universe’s timeline could be.

Just kidding. I wouldn’t wish Donald Trump on anyone, let alone anyone as lovely as Emma Thompson.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Wifeys for Lifeys

Well this is perhaps the most joyful start to any week since Jan. 20. Actress Samira Wiley and writer Lauren Morelli got married over the weekend. The couple who have been the real-life resident lovebirds of “Orange Is the New Black” since 2014 announced their engagement last October. And now they’ve tied the knot in lovely white outfits by Christian Siriano with an official write-up in Martha Stewart Weddings and everything. And there was apparently confetti. Come on, how fun and lovely and glorious is that? Mazel tov to the happy couple. May they have a long and wonderful life together filled with all the confetti life can throw at them.

Friday, March 24, 2017

My Weekend Crush

IDGAF Frances McDormand is my favorite Frances McDormand of all. And in the new trailer for “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” No Fucks To Give Frances is her finest form. Now that’s a way to kick start a weekend. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

C'est Mirrenifique

Look, this is also an ad. But, like the one that started out our week, this one is at least an ad worth watching. Why? A couple reasons. First, there has been far too little Helen Mirren on these pages recently. And you all know how much a love a great dame. And second, Helen Mirren is speaking French. And you all know how much I love to see a great dame speaking French. So here you go. Deux grandes choses qui vont bien ensemble.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017


Just a reminder that Anne Hathaway is ridiculously talented. Sure, she gets flack for having the audacity to both a) try bard hard and b) be a woman. But, and I repeat, she is ridiculously talented. First, she can lip sync better than any other celebrity in the world. And now (yes, I know this video is old, but its new to me) she can rap better than any one who was the star of something called “The Princess Diaries” should ever be able to rap. Yeah, bring your Anne Hathaway hate. Because she can take it, and bring it. Oh, can she bring it.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

A Demon That Your Parents Knoooooow

After a full day of adulating yesterday (kittens, I bought a lawnmower and everything), I feel the need to return to some joyful abandon. And there’s no joyful abandon better than deeply weird joyful abandon. So please enjoy this reprise of “Outside Bones” by your friend and mine, Mr. Titus Andromedon. FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT!

p.s. This still technically counts as lesbian content because of Judy Gold’s priceless reaction.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Hold On Now

Damn, Down Under. You just made me straight-up cry. In my ongoing effort to start each week with a little joy, here is a little love from our friends in New Zealand and Australia. Yeah, I know it’s an ad from a bank. But when it has an emotional hold like this, who can resist? Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, March 17, 2017

My Weekend Parody

Since this is my trailer week, how about a trailer for a fake movie I would really watch? I don’t know how this escaped me the first time around. But now that another one of these in in the theaters, why not? As fun as it is to poke fun at lesbian stereotypes, the deleted scene is actually my favorite. Though, come on gay ladies - who flushes a tampon? Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Gods of Carnage

So this is my week to post trailers, apparently. Next up, the new trailer for “American Gods.” The new series from Bryan Fuller (Mr. “Pushing Daisies,” “Hannibal,” “Wonderfalls”) looks…well, it certainly looks. It actually might blend the two sides of Fuller perfects – the fantastical and the carnagetastical. I won’t pretend to super understand the premise (nor have I read the Neil Gaiman on which it is based). But, looks like we’ve got a ton of old gods fighting a ton of new gods resulting in bloods – so much blood. The first two trailers are very, very (very, very, very) dude heavy. But the good news is we get our first glimpse of Kristin Chenoweth as Easter. Cheno in this bloods and battle show? I know, it’s crazypants. But the person they probably purposely left out, and why I’m extra intrigued, is Gillian Anderson stars as Media. We have only seen a couple teaser shots of her so far as Media (dressed as Marilyn Monroe, no less, because her character takes the form of celebrities apparently). So what do you think? Cheno and Gillian together sealing the whole bloody deal? We shall see.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Wonder Where

Well, add another thing to the annals of “Men Ruin Everything.” Here we have a perfectly good movie about Amazon life in Themyscira, and then, boom, a dude drops in and everything goes to hell. Fine, so maybe he doesn’t ruin everything. Like, I’m still pretty excited to see this movie and rejoice in all the Amazonian badassery. Robin Wright! Connie Nielsen! Lucy Davis not an Amazon, but very funny)! I’m not 100 percent sure what accent they’re all affecting. (Like, are they trying to copy Gal Gadot’s natural accent?) Also, no sign of the signature spin.
But, yeah, I’m still totally into it.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Rough Decision

So remember yesterday when I was like, “THIS MOVIE TRAILER IS MY REASON TO LIVE?” Of course you do, it is also now yours. Well here’s another movie trailer which is not exactly life affirming (actually sorta the exact opposite), but I still have a keen interest in for a number of reasons – as well as one very big reservation.

Reasons to love in no particular order:

- Scarlett Johansson, love her plus she is sporting the hair that has led to all sorts of amazing red carpet amazingness.
- Kate McKinnon, obviously love her and her mystery accent (like, I think it is Australian, but then maybe not).
- Ilana Glazer, clearly love her.
- Zoë Kravitz, again love her even though it makes me feel a little weird because I also loved her mom.
- Jillian Bell, I don’t really know her that well but she certainly seems if not entirely lovable then very funny.
- Written and directed by Lucia Aniello from “Broad City,” which duh, I love.
Reason to not love:
- Seriously, the whoops we killed a stripper thing? The whole, oh no, we have to get rid of the body thing? The world doesn’t really need a gender swapped “Very Bad Things” and/or “The Hangover,” but with more murder. How about you pack all these very, very funny and talented women into a movie that doesn’t feel derivative and dismissive of the lives of sex workers, eh?
So, what do you think? And, for real, what is Kate’s accent? And is it gone there at the end? What’s happening, girl? Just kidding, you know I still love you. Call me (with whatever accent you want).

Monday, March 13, 2017

Atomic Summer Plans

Well, holy fuck. Looks like I have something else to live for in 2017. Look, sometimes something comes into your life you had no idea you needed. Like Cate Blanchett forgetting her gloves on a department store counter. But then, once you’ve seen it, you have no idea how you ever lived without it. Like, how you never knew you wanted to see Charlize Theron play a bisexual superspy who can kill me with her bare hands, but now you can think of literally nothing else in the entire universe you want to see more? Say hello to “Atomic Blonde.”

Look, I have no idea whether this film will be any good. It’s from the director of “John Wick,” which a lot of people love but I have steadfastly avoided because told me dog death is an integral part of the plot. As I do not see any canine companions in this trailer, I will take my chances. Also, there’s that whole bit about her getting very hot and very sweaty with a French female spy which, oh la la. (p.s. oh la la is obviously code for I rewound that part four times, please, like you didn’t). And, regardless, spending two hours or so staring at Charlize’s face, bruised or otherwise, is never a bad use of one’s time. So, yeah, hello to my new reason to live until at very least summer 2017.

Friday, March 10, 2017

My Weekend Buffy

If you were to distill “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” down to one scene, it would be the beginning of “The Gift.” The fifth season finale opens with a teenage boy running for his life into a dark alley. Behind him a vampire stalks, ready for the easy kill. And then a side door opens and this young blond woman pops her head out casually. The boy begs her to get help, or run. The demon thinks she’ll make a nice snack. She then proceeds to summarily kick his ass and save the boy. The cowering teen looks at her afterward bewildered and says, “How’d you do that? … You’re just a girl?” That’s right. Underestimate girls at your own peril, monsters.

“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” turns 20 today, and it will go down in history as a show with a silly name that demanded we take women and girls seriously. The silly name, you see, was very much the point. The series was always about defying people’s expectations, specifically those placed on women and girls.

Over at Autostraddle several of the writers celebrated the show’s anniversary and discussed what the show meant to them, yours truly included. You can check it out right here.

What Buffy means to women, smashing the “just a girl” paradigm, is intricately bound to what Buffy means to me as a gay woman. Buffy was the first show to show me what it meant to fall in love as a gay woman. Not just what it meant to come out, not just what it meant to be gay. But what it meant to find someone you liked, fear they might not like (or love like) you, realize they do and then rejoice in your love. It was intoxicating to watch every week. It was, in so many ways, a lifeline. A validation that you weren’t the only one feeling those extra flamey feelings – or wanting to feel those extra flamey feelings. Yes, there was the whole tragic death at your true moment of happiness thing.

Buffy was also the first show to get me into TV fandoms. It was the first online community that I embraced and made me understand the power of loving a show together. Yes, I was a member of the Kitten Board. Hell, I even bought a T-shirt.

So for all those reasons, and for so many more, Buffy will always be the chosen show in my life. And it is a reminder that there is never such a things as “Just a girl.” We’re all extraordinary, in our own ways. And can – if given a chance – save the world. Maybe even a lot. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, March 09, 2017

Anne Again

Hey, here’s some good gay news! We’re about to get what sounds like some primo period-piece lesbian television content. HBO and BBC One are teaming up to create “Shibden Hall,” a new eight-part drama series created and written by Sally Wainwright of “Last Tango in Halifax” and “Happy Valley” fame. The drama is based on the real life of English landowner and prolific diarist Anne Lister. Set in 1832, the drama follows the “charismatic, single-minded, swashbuckling” Lister who “walked like a man, dressed head-to-foot in black, and charmed her way into high society” and he plans to marry a woman. See! Gay stuff! Gay!

Now, those of you who pay attention to gay stuff on the television will remember that this is not the BBC’s first shot at Anne Lister. Back in 2010, BBC produced the TV movie “The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister” about her life. Interestingly, none of the mainstream media reports on the new project mentioned this fact, but us gay ladies never forget.

I can’t say I love, loved “The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister.” It was a tad melodramatic and had a lot of wailing in anguish. The new miniseries has a fine pedigree with Wainwright at the helm (and she also has some lesbo street cred from “Last Tango in Halifax”). And the BBC certainly has a thing for lesbian period pieces (see “Tipping the Velvet,” “Fingersmith,” “Affinity,” et al). So time will tell. But, hey, more ladies being swashbuckling, gender-bending and super gay on TV is always a good thing.

Here is the trailer for the previously produced “The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister,” as a refresher.

Wednesday, March 08, 2017

A Day Without This Woman

So it's A Day Without A Woman Day. We are being encouraged to wear red, not engage in paid and/or unpaid work if possible and not spend money unless at small, woman or minority-owned businesses. So here I am doing my part.

And, to put you in the mood, here is a fella singing a little strike music for you. Enjoy, ladies. See you on the flips side.

Tuesday, March 07, 2017

Otterly Perfect Resistance

Oof. I spent a sleepless night tossing and turning with nightmares/realities about the Trump cabinet pillaging our society's most essential institutions. And then today, the GOP Obamacare repeal bill proves once and for all they are the party that believes poor people don't deserve health care while rich people do deserve tax cuts. I need to stare at this otter saying hello to shake my unending despair about the destruction of our democracy. Hello, otter. Thank you.

Monday, March 06, 2017

A Kindly Monday

It’s important, now more than ever, to start each week on a high note. And this song is a very, very, very high note. Granted, there are no lesbians. Or any discernable ladies. And, yes, there is an overabundance of white boy facial hair. But I am willing to overlook Passenger’s shortcomings because of the content of the lyrics these characters wrote. This is the jauntiest little protest song you ever did hear. And I’d be willing to wager you’ll be humming this wonderful ditty all week long. Given our new, illegitimate president plans to sign his new, illegitimate Muslim Ban, today, I say we all give it a full-throated sing along. Happy Monday resistance, kittens.

Friday, March 03, 2017

My Weekend Crush

As Trump readies his new – though certainly no less terrible – Muslim Ban, I thought it might be a good time to share Valerie’s Letter again. For no reason, really. Just totally out of the blue, actually. Apropos of nothing, truly. I just felt like remembering my favorite part of “V for Vendetta.” You know, the part where the lesbian prisoner scribbles her life story out for someone to find about how she had roses and kisses but then war and authoritarianism and ominous sounding policies like the “Articles of Allegiance” happened and different became dangerous and they took people from their homes and their beds and now there are no roses just despair and ultimately death. Yeah, that part.

It’s not because we have a new president hell-bent on declaring the “others” the enemy with ominous sounding policies like V.O.I.C.E. (which stands for Victims Of Immigration Crime Engagement, which even grammatically is wrong beyond belief). It’s also not because he has commissioned the Department of Homeland Security to publish regular lists of supposed immigrant crimes. It’s not because his policies are having people snatched for deportation from hospitals and churches and courthouses and press conferences by ICE agents overjoyed at their new freewheeling authority. Never mind reports that show immigrants are actually less likely to commit crimes than native-born citizens. Never mind that publishing lists of Jewish crimes was something done to foment hatred toward them during World War II by the actual, goddamn Nazis. None of this matters when there’s an “other” to hate, apparently. But, again, there’s no reason I felt like sharing this clip today. I just wanted to watch Valerie and Ruth and all those beautiful roses, I guess. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, March 02, 2017

Take Me To Your...My Face! My Face!

So last week NASA discovers 7 new possibly life-sustaining planets in the TRAPPIST-1 system. And this week we get the new trailer for “Alien” Covenant.” It’s the second in the planned “Alien” prequel series (the first was “Prometheus” which, somehow, I did not realize was an “Alien” prequel in the first place…) Anyway, it all looks kinda grim and very face-huggy (and back splitty – gross). Though I do like the gender parity, which I guess is a necessity if you are going to start a whole new civilization from scratch and all. But, yeah, needless to say things do not seem to go as planned. Also, space suits, people. Space suits. Still, despite the apparent carnage, given how things are going on Earth, if given the choice to colonize a new planet I’d probably take it. I mean, we’ve got face-eaters here, too. They’re just a tiny bit less literal.

p.s. I think the whole “colonize” other planets thing excludes the possibility for us gays to tag along. But, here’s my plan, become indispensable in some other essential survival skill. Sadly, I don’t know if TV recapping is needed to terraform a new world. But, you never know.
p.p.s. Speaking of TV recapping, those “The Good Fight” recaps are swinging right along at Autostraddle. You can check them out here.

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

The Brave One

One of the only positives out of our new political nightmare is the number of people – everyday folks, famous folks, semi-famous folks – who are coming out to resist. Sure, it sucks that it takes a staggeringly unqualified, unhinged, untruthful and uncompassionate man ascending to the most powerful position in the world to finally make so many speak up. But who has time for quibbles when basic civil rights and the very definition of facts are at stake. Some people, more than makes sense really, love to tell celebrities to shut up. We don’t want to hear your opinions! Shut up and dance and/or act and/or sing! Strangely, these same angry people don’t scream this when those Duck Dynasty guys or Ted Nugent or Chachi or DONALD FUCKING TRUMP WHO IS A REALITY TV STAR YOU FUCKING DUMBASS HYPOCRITES do the exact same thing.

*deep cleaning breath, hold it for 10 seconds, hold it for 10 seconds more, another 10, start turning blue, grind your teeth, and release*

Anyway. I, for one, think celebrities have just as much right to voice their opinions as us unfamous rabble. They pay taxes, they vote, they are real, live human people. In fact, in the face of such an unprecedented attack on the very foundation of our democracy (again, President Bannon full-on spelled it and said his goal is destruction – DESTRUCTION), I feel it is imperative they do.

I won’t lie, I was even a little disappointed there wasn’t more fiery talk at the Oscars. Sure, there were subtle (and a few less subtle) mentions. But nothing high profile à la Meryl and her “take your broken heart, make it into art” glory.

Right, I swear I am getting to my point. And that is among those newly vocal, newly public celebrities is my long-time crush (first Weekend Crush, in fact) Jodie Foster. Jodie has long been intensely private, which tends to happen when a crazed man with a gun stalks you and then shoots the President of the United States to try to impress you. (p.s. two of the last four Republican presidents have been celebrities versus zero of the last four Democratic presidents, but who are star fuckers?)

But last week Jodie took part in an anti-Trump protest rally before the Oscars. Good for her. And good for all of them. Look, folks, the more people in the resistance the better. Also, funny fact, these actor types are kind of good at this whole talking in public thing. And they aren’t half bad to look at, either. Whodathunkit?

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

SGALGG Oscar Edition

Yeah, I still am not over how the Oscars ended. Or how many people (not you, Casey Affleck) who I was genuinely rooting for won. Or that it took until 2017 for the first LGBT film/first film with a black cast/first film directed by a black director to win. All these wonderful, barrier-break moments plus a lotta straight gals acting like gay gals? Some nights are just lucky, I guess.

Emma Stone & Some Lady

Kuddos to Some Lady for totally going for it with Emma.

Michelle Williams & Busy Philipps

Michelle is looking at Busy like she can’t believe her dream date agreed to go with her to prom.

Octavia Spencer & Janelle Monae

Meanwhile Janelle is beaming like she can’t believe Octavia accepted her invitation to dance at prom.

Amy Adams & Elizabeth Banks

Elizabeth is doing everything she can to maintain eye contact and not get lost in Amy’s cleavage.

Jennifer Aniston & Nicole Kidman

Jennifer is explaining to Nicole that Keith is obviously just a sad doppelgänger (cut, chunky highlights) for her and she should face her real attractions.

Taraji P. Henson & Mimi Valdes

Taraji is really, really trying to steal Pharrell’s Oscar date. And It’s working.

Charlize Theron & Shirley MacLaine

Charlize isn’t acting particularly gay towards Shirley, but her ponytail is.

Scarlett Johansson

President of the Alternative Lifestyle Haircut Lovers Club.

Kate McKinnon & Katie Couric

You know Kate is making Katie consider it. You know.

Viola Davis

Gay or straight, Viola is giving this face for all womankind disgusted that this sexual harasser is now an Oscar winner.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Beauty in the Moonlight

Well, that was nuts. But that wonderful kind of nuts that you can’t believe really happened. And you rewind. And you rewind. And you rewind, just to make sure I really did. The universe does not give us too many second shots to make things right. And when it does they are very, very rarely this for of instant gratification Like, about a minute after instant. But “Moonlight” winning for Best Picture at the Oscars was right. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed “La La Land.” I love the retro feel and vibrant colors. It was lovely. But “Moonlight,” well “Moonlight” was something else entirely. “Moonlight” was important.

A movie about growing up gay and black in America. A movie about the complexity of modern masculinity. A movie about love.

And the first LGBTQ movie to win a best picture Oscar. It has done what “Philadelphia,” “Brokeback Mountain,” “The Kids Are All Right,” “Carol” and more could not accomplish (and, in some cases weren’t even nominated for – still bitter for Carol Aird). And, no less significant, it is the first film with an all-black cast, and the first film with a black director to take home the honor.

“Moonlight” is the antithesis to our current political climate. A movie that lovingly explores growing up poor, black and gay. A movie that reinforces how essential it is to tell diverse stories. A movie that reminds us how important it is for us to see our lives reflected back at us. If we cannot find mirrors, how will be know what we look like – and be reassured that we are OK?

Now, more than ever, telling these kind of stories in essential. Representation matters. It always matters. Congratulations, “Moonlight.” Now, time for a gay ladies movie to do the same thing.

p.s. Yes, I am still pissed about “Carol” not even getting a best picture nomination. I will always be pissed about that.

Friday, February 24, 2017

My Weekend Rise

In this age of limited series, anthology shows, binge watching and streaming services, the thought of a good, old-fashioned, multi-day broadcast miniseries is down-right quaint. The format, once the realm of prestige network television, has tackled historical dramas and western romanticism (like, Jesus, how many “Lonesome Doves” were there – a thousand?) And one of its go-to genres has been Very Important Social Issues (think “Roots”).

So for the LGBT community to finally get its old-school historical miniseries moment (yes, I know – there have been series like “Angels in America” and “Tales of the City,” but this is more all-encompassing) means something. Which is why I plan to watch “When We Rise.” The ABC miniseries chronicles the modern LGBT rights movement from Stonewall to present day. It chronicling the lives of real-life activists. It has a slew of high-profile actors and high-profile directors. For all intents and purposes it looks earnest and heartfelt.

I don’t know if it will be any good, because all I’ve seen is the trailer so far. But I do know that we, as a community, are due something that takes our struggle and our history seriously. Something that does not whitewash. Something that does not sugarcoat. Something that emphasizes the struggle still ahead. (And, as we say this week, this administration is not and has never been our friend – or a friend to POC or immigrants or Muslims or anyone else who isn’t a straight white rich male).

“When I Rise” will air four consecutive nights next week starting Monday (only interrupted Tuesday by Cheeto Hitler’s address to Congress, that asshole) on ABC. I really hope it’s good. We deserve it, we really do. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Fuck Trump in Particular

Fuck everyone in this cruel, heartless administration. Yesterday, Tump and his minions rescinded federal guidelines protecting transgender students in public schools. The Obama-era directives stated that trans kids must be allowed to access bathrooms and locker rooms that match their gender identity. Now, in withdrawing those protections, Trump is leaving it to each state to decide where a trans student will be allowed to pee. And, make no mistake, this is not just about bathrooms but about the right for trans kids to exist in public spaces.

All through the election, and now even after, people have been yelling at me to relax, that Trump isn’t anti-LGBT. He loves The Gays. Remember when he held up that rainbow flag? I mean, sure, it was upside down. And sure, someone scribbled a sad little "s" at the end of LGBT because they did not know if it was plural or not. But, see, he totally loves you guys. See! Gee, where are those people now?

Look, we all knew Trump would come for LGBT people. Mike Pence is his vice president, Jeff Sessions is his attorney general. Old White Bigots is pretty much the name of his garage band. But it shows how vile, how downright reprehensible Trump and his cabinet really are for the first group for him to target with his blind hatred to be, literally, children.

This hurts trans kids. Period.

It is disgusting, unconscionable, fucking evil for Trump to go after one of the most vulnerable populations out there. Like, we knew he was a bully – we all knew that. But for his first action against the LGBT community be to bully trans kids. I just. I cannot fathom that level of inhumanity.

Let’s drop some statistics about trans students, those fact things he hates so much.

According to statistics from the National Center for Transgender Equality:

- 75% of transgender youth feel unsafe at school
- 59% of transgender students have been denied access to restrooms consistent with their gender identity
- 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt – and 92% of those individuals attempted suicide before the age of 25.
This is who he is hurting. This is who he chooses to attack. Children. Real, live children.

The rule in comedy, in writing and indeed in life is to always punch up. Make fun of, go after, fight against those with the most power, the most privileged. Take it to the people who can take – and in many cases deserve – a punch. What has always and continues to astound me is how Donald Trump, a man born into unimaginable wealth who has lived his life in a literal golden tower, whines constantly about being the victim.

You know who the true victims are, Donald? The trans students fearful for their lives, fearful to go to school, fearful of a president who gave states the OK to discriminate against them – they are the victims. They are your victims. Everything he has done is the very definition – both figuratively and literally (given his skyscraper perch) of punching down.

Well guess what, I will never stop punching up at this president. Ever. And neither will so many others who have your back. We promise.

p.s. Yes, of course, this also hurts non-conforming, non-binary, genderqueer folks, too. But to the Trump administration that is just a fringe benefit. The goal, which cannot be denied, is to hurt trans kids.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

You Don't Cate Me

Sometimes the universe drops these little hints that it loves us and wants us to be happy. Two otters holding hands. A baby elephant taking a bath. An epic murmuration over peaceful waters. But all those natural delights, delightful as they are, are subtle gestures when compared to be enormous gift the cosmos handed us this week. Nothing compares to the unbridled joy (and a couple other considerably more salacious emotions) that are evoked by the sight of Cate Blanchett lip synching to Lesley Gore while wearing a glitter tuxedo bustier at a drag benefit for a gun violence prevention at the Stonewall Inn. I know, I KNOW, there’s a lot to unpack there – and all of it is AMAZING. It is stop whatever mundane nothing task you are doing right now, like saving a family from a burning building, and watch immediately amazing.

So let us unpack this wonder of sparkles and sex.

One, we have Cate Blanchett in that glitter tuxedo bustier. Meow.

Two, she is singing Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me.” Iconic.

Three, she is dancing surrounded by drag queens. Squee.

Four, this is all for an incredibly worthy cause. Nice.

Five, the way she picks up those tips. ASDFGHJKL.

A post shared by Rocío López (@clorofila_s) on

*melts forever and ever I am gone goodbye*

p.s. Did I mention she also sways sensually in the background to Adele’s “Hello” while wearing Pussy Hat?

A post shared by Stonewall (@thestonewallinn) on

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The Good Recap

Hey, hey, hey. Guess what? No, sorry, everything since November hasn’t been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dream. But! Here is something I hope you will find not so terrible and maybe even good. I’m recapping again. Yes, indeedy.

The kind folks at Autostraddle are having me write recaps for the new CBS All Access show “The Good Fight” (a spinoff of “The Good Wife). So far the show is essentially TGW but without Carol Hathaway, Big or BAMF Kalinda. Instead it has Ygritte, more POC and lesbians. So, not a terrible trade in my book. The show premiered on Sunday and the first recap is up now at Autostraddle. If you’d be so kind, I’d love you to pop on over and have a look right here.

More not horrible, very exciting news – I’ll also be recapping “The Handmaid’s Tale” for them when it debuts on Hulu in April.

This is all very exciting and I’m thrilled to become part of this smart, vibrant and inclusive community.

Monday, February 20, 2017

My Dinner With Hillarys

Hey, want to start your week off right? Want to start your week off in the world we all wish we lived in? Want to go to there? Then please enjoy Hillary Clinton and Kate McKinnon having a nice quiet dinner together in New York late last week. We all know Hillary has been wandering in the woods and catching all the Broadway shows in the process of living her best life post-election. (Lord knows, she deserves it.) Meanwhile, Kate has been busy playing pretty much every member of the Trump administration.

Just imagine, if you can without sobbing, what it would have been like with four glorious years of Kate's Hillary impersonations on SNL. We lost that, and obviously so (so, so, so) much more. But, at least they can share a nice meal together and talk about the could have beens. And we get a glimpse of dinner we would very much like to be invited to.

p.s. Apologies for posting this early over the weekend. But here is a little reminder of the chemistry these two have in real life. Dammit, you know they would be such great dinner company together.

Friday, February 17, 2017

My Weekend Crush

The night is too often dark and full of terrors. But sometimes, just sometimes, it hands us these little gifts. These precious surprises. These unexpected moments of grace. “San Junipero” is one of those little gifts. If you know anything about “Black Mirror,” the anthology series that adds a dark technological spin to the “Twilight Zone” concept, you know happily ever after isn’t necessarily its thing. But I had heard about its “San Junipero” episode since last fall when it premiered. But then life, and the horrifying world, got in the way.

But this month, finally, I found the time and head space to sit down and watch. To really watch. And, goodness, am I glad I did.

If you haven’t watched already, I really don’t want to give too much away. Figuring it all out for yourself is such an essential part of this journey. Through the whole episode I felt as if the answer was right there, so close, I could graze it with my fingertips. But I never got their until they wanted me to, until at last I could embrace it.

But the set-up is a flashy good-time girl named Kelly (the vivacious Gugu Mbatha-Raw) meets a bespectacled quiet girl named Yorkie (Emily Blunt look-alike Mackenzie Davis) in 1987. They’ve found each other in San Junipero, a place of seemingly endless, all-night parties. And there’s an attraction, almost instantly. Which is fought because these things are always fought. But then it isn’t. And there is Belinda Carlile. Forever.

Plus, and again I do not want to give too much away, it features perhaps the most clever subversion of the Bury Your Gays trope to ever be seen on screen.

The questions evoked by “San Junipero” are the biggest ones there are. What is a happy ending? How long can love last? Who defines consciousness? Is the 80s your era?

What I will say, because you should really experience this for yourself, is that at times it seems we have so few shots at happiness in this world. And even when we find it, it can be so fleeting. So when you do, enjoy the hell out of it. Enjoy it for as long as you can – however long that may be. We make our own happy endings. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

With Wives Like These

Hey, does watching the news make you literally want to scream endlessly into the black void of existence while simultaneously rocking back-and-forth in a corner and crying nonstop? Me too! But, good news, fun things still exist. Good things still exist. And finding joy is a fucking political act in 2017. So, here is some joy. Remember last fall, back when we all still felt pretty confident Hillary would win and the world wouldn’t devolve into a cesspool of villainy and incompetence? Well that’s when I told you all about Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher’s new series “Take My Wife.” And we all watched the free first episode together and we liked it and we were like, “Yes, yes! Quality lesbian content! Thank you, series of tubes!”

But then things got busy and you were like, I’ll watch it after the election. Because we had no idea the world as we knew it was about to end. But then the unthinkable happened and, let’s be honest, we took all of November and probably most of December off to recuperate/sob. And so the New Year started and we were all doing cardio and stretching to get ready for our new anticipated hellscape. But then it happened and it was so much worse than we could have thought and every day feels like 20 days. Like, come on, how is any of this even happening? So we marched and we made signs and we called out fucking congress people and we cursed – so much cursing. Still, a gal can only live on white-hot rage and clever chant slogans for so long.

So, finally, you sit down and watch the rest of the season of “Take My Wife.” And, girl, it’s good. It’s funny. It’s smart. And, of course, the stars have amazing chemistry (duh, hello, married). Plus, it also has real things to say about real subjects, but not in the After School Special kind of way where Helen Hunt jumps out of a plate-glass window because don’t do drugs, kids. Like, that is one of the best handlings of the whole “rape joke” controversy I have ever seen (there is also more than the scene below, but I won’t spoil it for you)

Plus, and this is truly a bonus, no lesbians die. Or are evenly gravely injured. Fine, maybe just a tiny bit of their pride. But it is consensual. I know, what you are thinking is, ”What?” How is that even possible? Don’t they know like the Rules of Television Lesbianism?

Anway. As I was saying. Find your joy where you can. And it was truly a joy to watch “Take My Wife.”

p.s. You can watch the whole season on Seeso, thought I know you still have no idea what that is. But, rest assured, it is a real thing and they even have free trials.

p.s.s. Did I mention that after each episode Cameron and Rhea process the episode? Like, seriously, how gay is that? So gay.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

From Russia With The Opposite of Love

[Cue extreme Jan brady voice] Russia! Russia! Russia!

Hey, remember back last July when Donald Trump called on Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails and everyone was like, “Hahahaha, that scamp.” And then Hillary warned every one, repeatedly (like, seriously, a lot) that Trump was compromised by Russia and everyone was like, “That’s nice, BUT HER EMAILS.” And then Russia actually did interfere to influence our election, just like Trump asked them to. And now here we fucking are? Yeah. That was fun.

Anyway. Here is Black Widow, aka Natasha Romanov, kicking some Russian ass for your personal enjoyment for no reason whatsoever. Наслаждаться!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

All You Need Is Love Song

Ah, love songs. I know, I know. Some of you might not be in the mood. Others of you have your own favorites you play on repeats in your hearts. But on this day, of all days, I wanted to share a sweet love song with you. So whether you’re spending this day with someone special or just plan to be extra special to yourself, feel the love courtesy the imitable Brandi Carlile and her lovely wife Catherine Shepherd. Happy Valentine’s Day, kittens.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Trump You Very Much

I am sharing this with you because a) It is funny, and b) It probably drives Donald Trump crazy to have a black woman portray him on TV. Like, really, really crazy. Like he definitely threw something against the wall with his tiny, tiny little orange hands when he saw Leslie Jones playing him. And anything that annoys The Great Hate Pumpkin makes me very, very happy. Which, in my book, is a pretty good way to start a week.

p.s. Pro Tip: Hurling insults at Trump on Twitter is oddly therapeutic and literally the only good thing about having a spoiled toddler who likes to tweet as our president.

Friday, February 10, 2017

My Weekend Anne

I won’t lie, I don’t know how I feel about this. On the one hand, OMG, a new Anne of Green Gables. If you have been here for any length of time you know Anne Shirley is one of my favorite characters, period. I remain convinced Anne and Diana were bosom friends with benefits. I have read, and this is not being hyperbolic, everything L.M. Montgomery has ever written. Fine, everything she published in the United States that I could get my hands on about Anne and Avonlea and Emily and Pat and even “The Story Girl.” Hell, I made my family vacation on Prince Edward Island. Megan Follows was one of my first crushes so interviewing her was one of the highlights of my professional life.

So I come at the new Netflix adaptation of “Anne of Green Gables” with a mixture of hope and dread and nervous excitement. Will it be as good? What does “grittier” mean? So now we see our first glimpse of our new Anne in action and I’m… I don’t know. She certainly looks the part from the books. A thin, small face with all those freckles and red hair. She looks decidedly more gawky than Megan, which isn’t bad necessarily.

My only real complaint right now. That weak-ass slate slap. Dude, Anne SMASHES her slate over Gilbert’s head when he calls her “carrots.” There’s no tepid slap. Crush that thing, girl.

So, what do you think. There’s really not enough here to say anything definitively. Though, I feel pretty safe in saying that no matter what, this new adaptation has to be better than that weak-ass PBS version with Martin Sheen terribly miscast as Matthew. Let us never speak of that version ever again. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Gay Ladies, Mark Your Calendars

Hey, gay ladies, mark it down. And all people who are friends with gay ladies, take note. June 9, 2017. “Orange Is the New Black” is back. So don’t bother us, we’re watching.

p.s. I am both incredibly excited and incredibly dreading this year’s return. After what happened (sniffle, wail, still not over it) and how it ended, things seem to be going form bad to worse to oh fuckfuckfuck. I am both not ready and can’t wait.

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Chicks Love My 9-inch Zipper

I don’t understand The Fashions. I still have some shirts I wore in college hanging in my closet – and I wear them outside of the house sometimes, too. But I do understand that everything old is new again. And if you wait long enough, everything goes out of style and then comes back into style and then goes back out of style and repeat for infinity. Bell bottoms. Choker necklaces. Robber barons. You know, the usual. It has been particularly amusing to watch mom jeans return. I’m convinces modern jean trends are designed to fit as few body types as earthly possible. First jeans so skinny everyone looks like a frenched pork chop. And now jeans so high-waisted they practically double as a top. Thanks, The Fashions. But, the return of mom jeans does give me the opportunity to rewatch my favorite fauxmerical of all time. Mom jeans, mom jeans!

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Requiem for the Mediocre White Man

Hey, did you spend last weekend watching a bunch of dudes hit other dudes? Yes, yes – I know, you were just in it for the commercials. And Lady Gaga. Still, odds are you have had your fill of overly confident dudes for the day/week/next four years. So here is one of my favorite overconfident mediocre white man takedown of all time. Oh, ladies of “Criminal Minds.” This show doesn’t deserve you. But us ladies certainly do. Poor little ass, indeed.

Monday, February 06, 2017

I'm Like So Gay, Dude

So are we gonna have to make Totino’s the official lesbian food now or what? So that sound you might have heard on Saturday night was gay women across America screaming with joy for the first time since Nov. 8, 2016. Yes, it was the night Kristen Stewart went on national TV and called herself “so gay.” Like so, so, so gay. Yes, I know – everyone knew already. But there’s something always to be said to saying it out loud. Simply, definitively. Yep, she’s so gay. Also, how badass is it to come out while telling off our new so-called president? So badass.

And then they had to go and make things even gayer with perhaps the best fake advertisement in the history of all advertising. In the pantheon of super gay ladies hosting SNL, this performance rivals Ellen “hug them with my legs in friendship” Page. You move, Jodie Foster.

p.s. Seriously, though. Who needs to go get a bag of frozen Totino’s out of the fridge to cool down now? Also, how Very Shane Today was Kristen looking in that video? Damn, girl.

p.p.s. Here is KStew’s full monologue. Because, dude, she is so gay.

Friday, February 03, 2017

My Weekend Crush

Oh, Liz Lemon. How I miss your entirely relatable bouts of exasperation. Your entirely quotable frustrated gobbledygook words. Your entirely stoic preservation through a world of ineptitude, callousness and more than a little insanity. In short, I could use a little Lemon today – make that this year. As the meme goes:

Liz: “What a week, huh?”
Jack: “Lemon, it’s Wednesday.”
But, you know, modified for 2017. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, February 02, 2017

Double the Opposite of Trouble

Here’s something that will be pertinent to your lady loving interests. Ruby Rose (your favorite tattooed Australian model-turned-former Litchfield inmate) and Milla Jovovich (your favorite former Ukrainian model-turned-undead killing franchise heroine) went head-to-head on “Lip Sync Battle.” The two actresses also appear together in the newest (and final) chapter of the “Resident Evil” series. So this was a bit of very (very, very – hello, so much flirting) friendly competition. I suggest you find the full episode to see all the mutual girl crusher (colorful commentator Chrissy Teigen did her fair share, on both, as well). But at the very least enjoy these two rocking it out. As the kids would say, “Now kiss!”

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Another Ocean To Cross

I have said for the past two months (78 days, to be exact) that “Oceans 8” is one of the only things I’m looking forward to in 2017. And now, dammit, I’ve finally realized that “Oceans 8” isn’t coming out in 2017. It’s not coming out until 2018. And summer 2018 at that. GODDAMIT, UNIVERSE. Throw me a bone here. I need every sliver of joy I can get to make it through each day. At the very least you have to give me more than one single picture of the elegant eight sitting together/apart in a subway car. Fine. Sigh. I’ll take it. Hey, it is a rough year. We take what we can.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Finding Metaphor

If you’ve been here any length of time you will know a few things about me. I love women in tank tops and I love women in a finely tailored suit. Basically, I love women, in general. And I love the movie “Finding Nemo,” which I watch as a comfort film when I need a little oceanic hug. It goes without saying that I also love its long-awaited sequel, “Finding Dory.” I mean, it’s pretty much everything you love from the first film, plus otters. So I, like many of you no doubt, found it more than ironic that on the same weekend our new president signs a ban on refugees and, for all intents and purposes, a ban on Muslims entering America, the first film he screens in the White House is this very one. Because, as America’s Favorite Lesbian Ellen explains above, the plot of “Finding Dory” follows someone who crosses an ocean to find her family only to be detained against her will before they can be reunited. So, there’s that.

Anyway, who is up for a cuddle party with democracy?

Monday, January 30, 2017

She’s tryin’ teach me how to cook

Let’s start the week off on a high note. Well, more of a low note, but literally – not figuratively. This remains one of my favorite scene from one of my favorite movies. And it never fails to make me smile. She’s tryin’ teach me how to cook, indeed. May the joy of Idgie and Ruth and their purposeful defiance of the world’s expectations on them guide you through another week.

Friday, January 27, 2017

My Weekend Crush

I have written this blog for more than 10 years of my life now. I have posted nearly every single weekday, without fail. Heck, I even post when I’m on vacation, because gay gal happiness should never take a holiday. And I have never, not once, run advertisements, even though I could have and have been offered to. (Plus, you know, I certainly could have used the extra cash.) But I do this because I believe the world is trying to sell us so much already. And I’m not interested in advocating for anything I don’t truly believe in.

So instead what I offer is my opinions and my observations every day. Sometimes they’re silly, sometimes sexy. Sometimes it is more serious. And right now, yeah, it’s more serious. Because I feel what is happening in our country is serious. This has apparently displeased some of you as comments on some of my political posts, including yesterday’s, have included grumblings (plus one “give him a chance!” which, fuck right on off with that stupidity).

Since the beginning of this blog I have included a “Politics is Personal” tag because, indeed it is. My first posts in the tags date back to right after I started Dorothy Surrenders. (Also, please don’t judge those early posts, youthful indiscretions al all.) In fact, it is the second most populated tag on my blog (with 274 posts) behind only My Weekend Crush (with 462). Heck it even has more posts than My Fake TV/Film Wife Tina Fey (with 139).

So me writing about politics is nothing new. In fact it is part of the fabric of this blog. And its inclusion since its inception is in large part because the more disenfranchised a person or group of people is, the more personal politics becomes. As a gay woman, as Asian-American person, as naturalized citizen – all these issues are integrally meshed into who I am. And they are for so many other LGBT people, POC and immigrants.

So, yes, I am writing about politics a lot right now because I am thinking (and stressing and black-out raging) about politics a lot right now. I believe we all should be. I also think it is important to reassure people – who are feeling anxious and hopeless and scared and angry – that you are not alone. Millions more of us, at least 2.86 million more in fact, feel that way than don’t. And it helps to say it out loud. That doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned writing about the effervescent delights of pop culture. In fact, as I’ve written recently, the quest to find joy in times like these are more important than ever. (Like, I mean it, watch all those sitcoms I recommended earlier this week – they make me feel so much better.) Oh, yes, there will be tank tops.

But if you’re sick of reading political posts and just want me to post that hot girlie actions, I’m sorry. I can’t keep quiet. Not about Trump and not about what is happening to our democracy. I really can’t. You are more than welcome to find some other free corner of the internet to inhabit. As always, I thank everyone for reading. I am deeply humbled so many of your keep returning day-after-day, month-after-month, year-after-year. I hope I’ve helped you through the years, I know you’ve helped me. So please enjoy this segment, in particular this song. I can’t keep quiet, indeed. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. If you want to skip the chatter (though, come on, Sam Bee is always worth watching) and just want the beautiful music skip to 4:20 above.