Tina, Ina. Ina, Tina

Am I mad at myself that I missed My Fake TV/Film Wife’s Ina Garten season opening episode last weekend and have I already set my DVR (do people still use those? just me?) for its repeat next weekend? And until then will I console myself with these clips of Tina Fey wanting to marry Ina? Yes, I know, but I allow it because what middle-aged woman hasn’t wanted to do that, duh? Talk about your I want to go to there.

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My Weekend Crush

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It’s always cocktail hour in a crisis! Recipe on barefootcontessa.com #staysafe

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Thank goodness for Ina Garten. The domestic doyenne (like, you’re either an Ina person or a Martha person and that’s that) made me genuinely smile this week. And, as we all know, precious little makes anyone smile these days. But you really can’t beat Ina making herself a generous batch of cosmopolitans to share with absolutely no one at 9:30 a.m. this past Wednesday. I really, really implore you to watch all the way to the end. It is so worth it, kittens. Happy safe and healthy weekend, all.

Barefoot Shadetessa

I watch a lot of Food Network because I think I have delusions of grand chefdom. Also, food is cool. But I sometimes find myself wondering the political leanings of those I watch chop, boil and sauté. Like, does the Pioneer Woman believe in my fundamental right to marry the person I love? I mean, she homeschooled her kids, so there’s that. How about Guy Fieri? I get nervous around men who have more than two bowling shirts in their wardrobe. But I have to say I never worried about Ina Garten. The Barefoot Contessa has too many fabulous gay male friends who help her throw her fabulous garden parties in her fabulous Hamptons house to ever vote for that Hate Cheeto. Plus, like she’d ever serve her guests Cheetos.

So last week at a live event she told New York Times columnist and former restaurant critic Frank Bruni what she would serve some of today’s highest profile politicians:

Elizabeth Warren? “Lobster macaroni and cheese.”

Beto O’Rourke? “Pulled pork shoulder with maple beans, cornbread, and a kale salad.”

Joe Biden? “Something fun, like a lobster and clambake.”

Donald Trump? “A subpoena.”

Oh, Ina. You can come sit next to me at any dinner party ever. And, thanks to those election results, you just might get to serve Trump that subpoena yet.