Thursday, March 31, 2022

This Is My Big Gay Agenda

Seems certain people can’t stomach when anyone different from themselves experiences even a modicum of joy, success or peace. Amid all the undeniable queer excellence of the Oscars, threats to LGBTQ+ people’s civil rights continue unabated. Indeed, the GOP’s latest assault on gay people for simply being brings back an insidious lie that homophobes have been trotting out for decades. The lie is that by mentioning the very existence of LGBTQ+ people, we are grooming children.

Grooming them to be what, exactly? In their twisted mind it’s to become gay and/or to become victims of our imaginary lechery. Make no mistake, these lies pull on the same thread at the full-tilt bonkers QAnon conspiracy theory that sees all liberals and progressives as part of a global cabal of pedophiles. Pointing at your political/social enemy and calling them a child rapist is the norm in our cultural conversation now. This isn’t just saying the quiet part out loud, this is political tribalism taken to its most deranged extreme.

None of this is really new. Queers have long been accused by bigots of “recruiting” forever. As if we have to convert innocent, unwilling heterosexual to fill our ranks through pernicious methods. Look, y’all, straight people are the leading makers of queer people. That is a fact. So what, exactly, are they so mad about? Children’s books that acknowledge that some families have two moms or two dads instead of just a mommy and a daddy? Teachers acknowledging the existence of LGBTQ+ people in this world? Yes, all of that.

Look, if recruiting worked I’d be straight. Though the first nearly two decades of my life I received exclusively heterosexual education in public schools and saw exclusively heterosexual lifestyles portrayed in entertainment. Yet here I am, gay as can be. Was all that modeling of heterosexuality not grooming me to be straight? Weird how it didn’t take.

Yet conservatives are now clawing back with the same old hateful narratives about queer people. Heck, they’ve even rolled back out the whole “Gay Agenda” trope. I know, that old chestnut. As if my agenda was anything other than going to work, paying my bills, snuggling my pets and obsessively watching the last season of “Killing Eve.”

Here we are seven years after the Right lost the so-called culture war on gay marriage, and they are ABSOLUTELY attacking our right to existence again. And that includes our hard-fought right to legally marry. (Heck, they’re attacking the right of interracial straight couples to legally marry. So, you know, no “other” is safe.) More and more GOP-led states will no doubt rush to pass similar “Don’t Day Gay” bills like the one Florida’s loathsome oaf of a governor signed into law this week.

And as the GOP receives rightful pushback on these ugly lies about us, they keep falling back on hateful, disgusting language from the past. They claim these aren’t “Don’t Say Gay” bills, they’re “Anti-Grooming” bills. Let me say with every last ounce of respectability left in my body, fuck off with that hateful bullshit forever.

It’s almost heartening, almost, that these homophobes can’t think of any new lies about us. I mean that we’re pedo groomers intent on molesting your children? Come on, that’s so Anita Bryant circa 1977.

The coded language of Right-Wing attacks is a gross throwback. They search for anything other to scare people with, often on phony “moral” (read: “Family Values”) grounds. They fuel hatred against us to get more votes. Period. That’s why anti-trans bills have been all the rage. Banning trans youth from playing sports. Banning trans people from using public bathrooms. Banning trans youth from receiving healthcare. Heck, Arizona pulled a twofer yesterday and banned BOTH trans youth playing sports and trans youth access to gender-affirming care.

And then they wonder why the anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicide rates for trans youth are so tragically high. What could it be? Could it be large segments of society trying to legislate trans people out of existence while painting us as perverted others? It’s a real stumper, just ask Republican South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem who responded “I don’t know” about the sky-high depression among trans youth in her state while signing a bill banning those same trans youth from playing sports.

Indeed the Right’s outrage about a lot of things today — especially so-called Cancel Culture (which should really just be called Consequences for One’s Actions) — can be boiled down quite succinctly to this. They don’t get to freely mock and bully the people they used to be able to freely mock and bully. And they’re pretty mad about that because mocking and bullying people other than themselves gave them that instant hit of dopamine they were apparently lacking in their own sorry lives. All they have left is their unfounded sense of superiority over those they once got to belittle and berate out of public life.

In the end, the truth couldn’t be clearer. One side wants to take us, kicking and screaming, back to a time when their supremacy in the world order was unquestioned and their ability to bash anyone different was unabated. One side is banning books. One side is banning the accurate teaching of our country’s racist past (and present). And one side is trying to ban an entire group of human beings from being able to peaceably exist (or go to the bathroom, or play sports).

Which side of history do you want to be on? It shouldn’t be a hard question for anyone with a working sense of empathy. Give more people a full place at the table, not fewer. Always.

The one thing I know for sure is that we won’t shrink away from our rightful place in this society. We belong. We’re here, we’re queer. And no matter what these hatemongers want, we’re not going anywhere. Get used to it.

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

SGALGG: Wannabe Queer Oscars 2022 Edition

So, fine, some straight people showed up at the Academy Awards, too. I guess. And they were perfectly lovely, for the most part. But, as always, how those Straight Gals love to act like Gay Gals when the fancy dresses (and suits) go on. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And, yes, a few Queer Gals also slip back into this post. But, then, anyone who has ever been to a college party knows Straight Gals can flock to Gay Gals like moths to a flame when the mood strikes. Or so I’ve heard.

And, to be honest, who isn’t happy to see Sarah, Jean and Judith all together again? On y va!

Judith Smart & Judith Light

See, hanging out with Sara has made them want to SGALGG by themselves.

Rosario Dawson & Amu Schumer

Love means always having to share your jalapeno poppers.

Marlee Matlin & Penelope Cruz

Marlee’s clearly saying, “Don’t worry, Penelope. I was on The L Word, I know what to do.”

Billie Eilish & Megan Thee Stallion

Look, people will try to lick you if you wear a dress made out of Reese’s peanut butter cup wrappers.


I don’t even understand the physics of how she can look like this in that suit. But I kind of hope this signals the return of big shouldered 80s broads – in attitude if nothing else.

Nicole Kidman & Jessica Chastain

Getting a little handsy there, Nicole.

Nicole & Zoe Kravitz

Am I sensing a theme with Nic?

Nicole & Ariana DeBose

Theme confirmed.

Now, this part I call, Everybody Loves Ariana (Unlike Chris, ahem)

Ariana & Kirsten Dunst

It’s the intense hand-holding for me.

Ariana & Jessie Buckley

Using that fellow nominee status to sneak in a long embrace, I see.

Ariana & H.E.R.

Now, that would be a ridiculously talented couple.

Ariana & Rita Moreno

I mean, who am I to judge that May-December love?

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

GGALGG: Queer Oscars 2022 Edition

Well, this was NOT the year to skip the Oscars if you like to see talented queer women living their best lives and/or like to see Academy Award-winning bitchslaps on live television. Like, I sincerely thought the “Moonlight”/”La La Land” best picture fiasco was going to be the craziest thing I watched on the Oscars telecast in my lifetime (baring, of course, the cringe-tastic Rob Lowe/Snow White opening trainwreck).

Anyway, while the men created their own, scene-stealing mess, queer Hollywood — particularly queer women of color — came out and shone brighter than a damn diamond. Queer women, trans women and trans men were the highlight of my night and almost enough to erase the ugliness of the evening. Almost.

In particular I was heartened by “West Side Story” stand-out Ariana DeBose’s win for best supporting actress which makes her the first queer person of color and first Afro-Latina to take home the naked golden man. While accepting her trophy, Ariana also gave one of the most touching speeches of the night, which honestly I tear up even now transcribing.

“You see a queer, openly queer woman of color, an Afro Latina who found her strength in life through art. And that’s what I believe we’re here to celebrate. So to anybody who has ever questioned your identity ever, ever, ever, or you find yourself living in the gray spaces, I promise you this: There is indeed a place for us.”
No slap can overshadow this sincerity. We belong. Considering yesterday Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed the hateful “Don't Say Gay” bill into law, it’s a message we could all hear a few more times right about now.

In fact, you should watch/rewatch her whole acceptance. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

So here’s the rest of the Big Gay Oscars. What a night for women who love women, queers who love being fabulous and all of us at home who got to feel like — if only for a moment — the somehow, some day, somewhere we’ve all been dreaming of has finally arrived.

First, The Couples:

Ariana DeBose & girlfriend costume designer Sue Makkoo

I mean, they even do the stock photo favorite lesbian forehead meld pose together.

Niecy Nash & wife singer Jessica Betts

Niecy’s purse says “Wifey for Lifey,” y’all. And more red carpet lesbian forehead meld.

Wanda Sykes & wife Alex Niedbalski

Wanda was great as one-third of the night’s hosts. But then, Wanda is always great, as is her white tux in particular.

Queen Latifah & partner choreographer Eboni Nichols

The Queen brought her longtime partner (read into that line however you will) to Hollywood’s biggest night for the first time. Ahem.

Kristen Stewart & fiancée screenwriter Dylan Meyer

I truly, truly appreciate that KStew came to the Oscars with one and only one fashion goal in mind: Look hot for the lesbians. Thank you, a grateful nation of queer women thank you. Also, that smooch? Yeah, I bet that made a bunch of kids in the middle of nowhere feel a little less lonely.

Also, pretty sure she out Shane-ed Shane with this look.

Next, The Stag:

Hannah Einbinder

I just appreciate how the “Hacks” star can two-fist her drinks. Also, I didn’t know if this was her date or not so I didn’t want to make things awkward for either of them on Tinder. Apologies if you should be in the above category. Also, white tuxes are apparently a thing for us now, queer women. Take note.

Stephanie Beatriz

I just love how she’s finding fame in a whole other way than her “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” way. Yes, duh, I love “Encanto.” (Also, technically, I think her husband was there somewhere but she’s solo in this shot so there.)

Elliot Page

You really can’t go wrong with a classic tuxedo. I love seeing his smile these days.

Laverne Cox

Flawless, no notes.

Tessa Thompson & Janelle Monae

No, I don’t think they’re still a couple. But they sure look good side-by-side. Like a couple from the future on Earth Colony 275 or something. Not that they’re a couple.

Lady Gaga & Liza Minnelli

The Lady and the Legend. Gaga’s tender, dignified care for Liza was a salve on a lot of the ugliness from last night. Kindness can also be iconic.

And finally, The Sarah:

Sarah Paulson & Amanda Peet

Don’t have a heart attack, Sarah and Holland are still together. Sarah just took her bestie/girlfriend stand-in Amanda to the show instead and had some — shall we say, fun. Also, of course Sarah’s dress has pockets.

Sarah & Kirsten Dunst

All I’m saying is, while the cat’s away, The Sarah will Kiki. But in a respectful way that never denigrates her love. Look, I don’t want their whatever their portmanteau’s name is stans to come after me.

Sarah & Sophie Turner

All hail Sarah Catharine Paulson. First of Her Name, Queen of the Lesbians, Protector of the WLW Kingdoms, the Mother of Fangirls, the Paulson of the Queer Lady Sea, the Unstraight, the Breaker of Heteronormativity

Sarah & Lena Waithe

That’s almost too much queer excellence for one photo. Almost.

Sarah & Jean Smart & Judith Light

This is photographic proof that at least one of the gods loves queer people and wants us to be happy.

Bonus, The KStew Dancing

I don’t think this is Dylan. (And, apologies if it is.) But, um. Queer women, seriously, after seeing all of this… What slap?

Monday, March 28, 2022

Music Monday: That Slaps

I vividly remember watching Rob Lowe and Snow White open the Oscars wayyyy back in 1989. And, at the time, I though that was the craziest, cringiest thing I’d ever seen on the award show. HA. Anyway. I’ll have much more to say about these the Oscars, particularly the queer bits, later this week. Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, March 25, 2022

My Weekend Crush


*I know I had the same squealing reaction when the first teaser trailer for the second season of “Gentleman Jack” came out earlier this month but just look at this cover. Squeals some more*


*I mean, realy, LOOK AT IT*


*Counts the days, hours, seconds until April, which is two weeks closer now, and send best wishes for a happy weekend, all*

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Gender Fuck Thursday

I just felt like, after everything 2022 has dished out so far, you needed a beautiful, talented women in a white suit. Or gold vests. Or luscious mustaches. Sometimes, truly, it is just that simple.

Mary J. Blige

Queen shit. And King shit. Truly.

Elle Fanning

A little circus ringmaster chic and I’m good with that.

Gillian Anderson

I just. Love her.

Also, congrats to the engagement and your first red carpet outing together, Kristen Stewart and Dylan Meyer.

I will count this shiny crop top number as a suit because of the pending nuptials and all. And, goodness, K-Stew is bringing the vava-and-voom.

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Who You Calling Hacks?

How do you make “Hacks,” one of last year’s sharpest new comedies that has helped bring the much-deserved Jean Smart renaissance into full force, even better? Why add a host of extremely talented female guest stars, that’s how. Which guest stars? How about adding Laurie Metcalf (who was so so good in “Lady Bird”), Ming-Na Wen (who is Ming-Na freaking Wen, people) and Martha Kelly (who is in “Euphoria,” which I don’t watch because seeing teenagers make questionable life choices just isn’t my jam) as recurring guest stars for its second season. And how about announcing that Margaret Cho (THE Margaret Cho) will also guest star. That is how you do it, folks.

I’m excited to see where they take this smart, biting look at fame and ambition and women in the entertainment industry. I am also hoping they bring more of Hannah Einbinder’s real-life bisexuality into play in her also bi character Ava. Like that dream/nightmare sequence kiss between Ava and Jean’s Deborah Vance was nice and all. But let’s do some waking hours gay shit as well, show.

So, hopes for the new season? I bet Margaret will be playing herself, since the shot is set in the comedy world. Bring the funny, ladies. I have no doubt you will.

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Wonder Twins, Activate

Hey, remember like two years ago when we thought the pandemic was maybe slowing down and we got some really good gay news that made us even more hopeful? The news in question was that Tegan and Sara’s memoir about their high school years was getting turned into a TV series by Clea DuVall.

Well, fast forward today and the pandemic is slowing down (but I know enough to not say over because, hello, new variants) and again we get the good gay news that the project about everyone’s favorite singing lesbian twins is moving forward and has cast its twin leads.

Railey and Seazynn Gilliland were apparently found on TikTok, which — wow — does that make me feel old. Anyway, they’ll play T&S and Cobie Smulders and Kyle Bornheimer will play their parents (well, mom and her boyfriend. Yes, that Cobie Smulders. Bless this series for giving lesbians of a certain age someone age-appropriate to crush on.

I had to check, but I do get IMDb TV with my Prime subscription (I know, I know, *shakes fist* Jeff Bezos!). They start filming this week, but there’s no eta on when it might air. Did I mention it’ll be set in the grunge 90s and Cobie Smulders will play their mom? Yeah, clearly we’re watching.