Ballad for Sue and Megan

I know, I know – Sue and Megan broke up. I avoided talking about it during Lesbian Visibility Week because, honestly, after that Emily news I couldn’t take more bummer crap. But after 10 years, even Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird couldn’t make it work. *Deep, endless sigh*

Obviously, sapphics like us get invested in our celebrated power couples – mostly because they are so rare. Sure, we have a good number of queer female celebrities in relationships with other women now. (Well, definitely more than 20 years ago, amirite kittens?) But very rarely are both partners equally famous. And, truly, no one was as well-matched accomplishment-wise as Sue and Megan. Both Olympic champions. Both world champions. I mean, it was the ultimate jock-4-jock situation. *Deep endless sigh*

I know, relationships are hard. I know. I hope they both find happiness again, apart. And that their separation has been as painless as possible. Even hearts are healthy as theirs break.

p.s. Don’t even think about it Sarah and Holland. Do. Not.

Playing Footsy

Is women’s sports having a moment or what? First the women’s NCAA college hoops finals smashes records (and handily beats the boys), and now a whole series about female soccer stars is coming to a screen near you. What could make it better? Yep, they’re queer female soccer stars. So, like “Bend it Like Beckham,” but actually gay – not just in all of our heads gay. And the Big Lesbian Cherry on top? Gay sports superstars/couple Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird are producing the whole she-bang (emphasis on she-bang, because I hear the book was sexxx-y). Also, who can resist the name? “Cleat Cute?” Adorable! I haven’t read the book in question by Meryl Wilsner. But the premise – where a longtime star of the USWNT is recovering from an injury at the same time a rookie star is rising as the team prepares for the World Cup – sure works for me. Rivals to lovers, with cleats? Sporty dykes in love? Yeah, imma watch the heck out of this. So, kittens, who should they cast?

p.s. Considering the cultural moment women’s sports is having, how about we bring back “A League of Their Own,” Prime Video? Like, seriously, what would it cost Amazon? Less than half a tank of gas for one of Bezos’s megayachts, if that? Sigh, I guess we’ll just keep dreaming then.

Be Like Megan

You know, sometimes I think – actually, I know – that one of the reason we’re seeing such a backlash against LGBTQ+ people right now is that there’s a sadly significant number of knuckle-draggers who simply, positively, unequivocally just hate seeing us happy. They’re the ones who have used their imaginary superiority/morality over us to prop up their own inferiority for all these years. You know the types. They’re the ones screaming “Groomers!” at the top of their lungs, both past and present. And they’re the ones cravenly using us as a political wedge to hype up the pitchfork set.

With my fitful focus these days, I missed writing about Megan Rapinoe’s retirement last month. Normally, I would write about her accomplishments. Her trail blazing. Her talent. Her conviction. But today I just want to talk about her joy. Her pride, her confidence. And, yes, her love. That’s also what has made her a target for the Right Wingers. How dare she be so proud of herself? How dare any of them be proud of themselves?

But proud we are, and will always be of an icon like Megan, who was out before she became a household name. Who championed equal pay and recognition for women’s soccer and sports. Who fought racism and sexism and homophobia and transphobia in sports and the world. Who did it all on her own terms with whatever the hell (short) hair color she wanted.

I think we’re all old enough here to remember when “Be Like Mike” was the prevailing celebrity sports slogan of the era. Well, I think we should all instead try to “Be Like Megan.” Believe in yourself. Know your worth. Fight for what’s right. Kiss your longtime girlfriend in front of the universe and tell the worst among us to just to go seethe. We’re here, we’re queer, cope or get out of the way.

Real All-American Hero!

Don’t worry, I still know – corporations are not our friends. Corporations only love money. Corporations do whatever they think will get them more money. And corporations will not hesitate to drop us like a rainbow-colored habit if they think we might lose them money. (Cough, Bud Light and Target, cough.)

Requisite Down With Late Stage Capitalism rant over, OMFG did you see Nike’s new Megan Rapinoe TV commercial they made for her final World Cup? Yes, yes, Rainbow Capitalism, I know. But holyforkingshirtballs they made her into a super rad 80s cartoon superhero a la vintage (and kinda present) She-Ra and Jem and day-glow G.I. Joe. And very, very gay. And, well, thanks to all the activists and everyday LGBTQ people who came before us and fought so hard for progress to get us to a point where a $37 billion global brand celebrates an out lesbian sport star by making a kickass animated ad portraying her as a fucking all-American hero. Which, of course she is. And everyone knows it, even Nike.

My Weekend Crush

We’re a one-name basis with them. Martina. Billie Jean. Sheryl. Sue. Abby. B.G. And, of course, Megan. They are our lesbian sports icons. And, aside from maybe Martina Navratilova, one could reasonably argue that Megan Rapinoe has done the most to forward the public image of lesbian professional athletes. Yes, we could quibble. But there is certainly no other currently competing queer female athlete of greater stature, name recognition and overall acclaim. And, dammit if she didn’t do it entirely her way – with purple/various other-colored hair and plenty of style to boot.

Last weekend Megan announced that this would be her final season playing professional soccer. It won’t feel the same watching the beautiful game without her. I hope, and believe, her fearlessness both on the pitch and off will inspire a whole new generation of female athletes. Athletes who refuse to be treated as second-class citizens to their male colleagues. Athletes who refuse to hide their true selves, and brim with confidence and pride. Thanks for refusing to be anything but yourself, Megan, which is of course unabashedly excellent and stone-cold gay. Happy weekend, all.

Level Playing

Know your worth. True in everyday life. True in elite sports. The U.S. Women’s National Team has been fighting the U.S. Soccer Federation for six years because they know their worth. And yesterday, they won. Since 2016, the USWNT has been legally fighting for equal pay from the federation for player salaries, bonuses and award money. Yesterday, they settled their lawsuit for $24 million — $22 million to be split among players and $2 million reserved for a fund to help players with post-playing career projects. The federation also pledges equal pay rates going forward for all women's and men's national teams in exhibitions and tournaments, including the World Cup.

It’s a long time coming for a team that has had unparalleled success on the world stage and whose players have become household names. Their lawsuit originally asked for $67 million in back pay, but they settled for $24 million. Honestly, if anything, the USWNT went too low because can you name a single U.S. Men’s National Team player? Like one single solitary player? Yep, I got nothing.

But, I know that celebrity is a fickle barometer. So how about we use results instead? The USWNT has won four World Cups — in 1991, 1999, 2015 and 2019 The USMNT? Zero. Care to guess their best finish? Well that would be a third place finish wayyyyy back in 1930. I am not kidding, their best outing was 92 years ago.

Still not convinced? Let’s try the Olympics. The USWNT has won six medals (four golds from 1996, 2004, 2008 and 2012; one silver in 2000 and one bronze in 2020). How many do the USMNT have? Two, a silver in 1904 and a bronze that same year because for some reason we had two teams who competed because why not. So, um, good job 118 years ago, fellas.

So when I say the USWNT should be making more, that’s based on merit. Americans love the myth of the meritocracy, so why not lean heavily into the idea. The USWNT in both tournament results and name-recognition, is light-years ahead of the men’s team. To put it simply they are just better and more popular. Ergo, they should be paid more. Yet because they are women they were paid way, way, waywayway less.

How much less? Nearly half, and sometimes so much less than that. When you made a World Cup team as a men’s player, you got $67,000. When you made a World Cup team as a women’s player, you got $37,500. Then there are the win bonuses. As a man you would make $9,375 for each win against a team outside the Top 25, and $5,000 for a loss. Yes, you read that right, money for a loss. For the women, a win against a team ranked outside the Top Eight would give each player $5,250, and nothing for a loss. Finally men’s players who won the World Cup (which, laughs forever) take home $407,608, while women made $110,000 for winning the whole damn World Cup. And those are UPDATED rates. For a long time the US women made LESS when they won than the US men made when they lost.

You can see now why the USWNT was originally asking for $67 million, and honestly should have gotten it. But, you know what, we’ll settle for equality. Finally.

September's Non-SGALGG SGALGG

So OK, so as promised I found a couple fun SGALGG images from last month’s big swanky shindigs: The Met Gala, Emmy Awards and Tony Awards. And by “fun,” I mean “gay.” And by “gay” I mean, “Yep, they’re gay.” So here are the Not Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, and their straight-ish friends, from all of September’s fancy functions. We’re here, we’re queer – we look amazing on the red carpet.

MET GALA

Tessa Thompson & Zoe Kravitz

Sorry, Janelle. You’ve got competition.

Megan Rapinoe

Now that’s something to salute.

And, uh, same Megan when it comes to holding Venus William’s dress.

Cara Delevingne

Sadly the Shane of Celebrity Lesbianism stole this slogan from a POC creator.

Elliot Page

I truly love and am so happy for Elliot, but I think we can all also agree this suit doesn’t fit and he would look much hotter in something nicely tailored. What, I can’t help a dude out sometimes?

Kristen Stewart, Zoe Kravitz & Cara Delevingne

This is like a lesbian Renaissance painting, K-Stew reaching out and Cara watching out.

Kehlani & SZA

Like, the hand holding and leading her tho.

THE EMMYS

Lauren Morelli & Samira Wiley

Look at these two rays of sunshine. They’re genuinely one of the best thing to come out of “Orange Is the New Black.”

Billy Porter & Mj Rodriguez

Not to be corny but slay was made for moments like this.

Sarah Paulson & Beanie Feldstein

Just two women in relationships with other women handing out a shiny gold woman to someone.

Hannah Einbinder & Jean Smart

I think Hannah’s tux is really celebrating the fact she got to on-screen smooch Jean. I mean, I’d wear a tux too if I achieved such an accomplishment.

Gillian Anderson 1997 & Gillian Anderson 2021

What a difference 24 years makes, or doesn’t make.

THE TONYS

Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel

Not actually gay, but dammit if these witches don’t get me every time.

Mary-Louise Parker

Also not gay, but it’s Ruth dammit.

Lauren Patton & Guest

So Lauren (b&w suit) is gay. But also her show is controversial Dammit.

Bernadette Peters

Fine, not gay but an ICON. And, uh, this is how she looks at 73. So, please don’t swallow your tongue. Damn.

My Weekend (Olympic Medalists) Crush

This year has already been the most rainbow-filled Olympics yet, with demonstrative queerness across the Games as athletes get loud and proud. It’s also the largest contingent of out LGBTQ+ athletes, which is now at 182 and counting. It should be noted some 164 of those are female or nonbinary athletes competing on women’s teams, so while lesbians and other queer woman are doing their part for visibility, the fellas still have a little ways to go. (Not you, Tom Daley and your knitted sweaters. You’re doing great, keep up the good gay work.)

Honestly, there are so many exceptional queer female athletes to keep track of in Tokyo this year, I simply can’t list them all like in the bad old closeted Olympics days. So instead I’ve gotten selective. So these are your out queer female (and non-binary) medal winners. It’s truly exciting to see the progress in visibility out LGBTQ athletes have made since I started watching the Games as a young girl. Indeed the days of only nudge-wink knowing about certain athletes is close (though not entirely, I see you Sam Kerr and gal pal Kristie Mewis) to being over.

While certain sports are still deciding their medalists (we see you women’s basketball, field hockey, handball & soccer who are handing out hardware after my bedtime/this post publishes). I’ll update through the weekend with additional winners. They’re here, they’re queer, and they’re packing serious hardware. No, not like that. I mean, at least that wasn’t what I was referring to. AHEM.

3X3 BASKETBALL

Stefanie Dolson, USA, Gold

ARCHERY

Lucilla Boari, Italy, Bronze (Individual)

BASKETBALL [ETA]

Diana Taurasi (12) & Sue Bird (6), USA, Gold

Breanna Stewart (10), Brittney Griner (15), Chelsea Gray (8), USA, Gold

BMX FREESTYLE

Hannah Roberts, USA, Silver

BOXING

Kellie Harrington, Ireland, Gold [ETA]

(left in red)

Nesthy Petecio, Philippines, Silver (Featherweight)

FENCING

Astrid Guyart, France, Silver (Women’s Team Foil)

(second from left)

FIELD HOCKEY [ETA]

Anne Veenendaal, Netherlands, Gold

(center)

Leah Wilkinson & Sarah Jones, Britain, Bronze

(yes, they’re a couple)

Susannah Townsend, Britain, Bronze

HANDBALL [ETA]

Alexandra Lacrabère, France, Gold

Amandine Leynaud, France, Gold

(left getting smooched)

JUDO

Amandine Buchard, France, Gold (Mixed team), Siver (52kg)

Jasmin Grabowski, Germany, Bronze (Mixed Team)

Raz Hershko, Israel, Bronze (Mixed Team) [ETA]

Sanne van Dijke, Netherlands, Bronze (70kg)

ROWING

Emma Twigg, New Zealand, Gold (Single Sculls)

Katarzyna Zillmann, Poland, Silver (Quadruple Sculls)

(last on right)

RUGBY

Kelly Brazier & Gayle Broughton, New Zealand, Gold

Portia Woodman & Ruby Tui, New Zealand, Gold

SAILING

Jolanta Ogar, Poland, Silver (Women's 470)

(front in pair)

SOCCER

Kadeisha Buchanan, Canada, Gold [ETA]

Stephanie Labbé, Canada, Gold [ETA]

Erin McLeod & Kailen Sherida, Canada, Gold [ETA]

Quinn, Canada, Gold [ETA]

(first trans non-binary medalist/Gold medalist in Olympic history)

Caroline Seger, Sweden, Silver [ETA]

Magda Eriksson, Sweden, Silver [ETA]

Lina Hurtig, Sweden, Silver [ETA]

Hedvig Lindahl, Sweden, Silver [ETA]

Tierna Davidson, USA, Bronze

Adrianna Franch, USA, Bronze

Kelley O’Hara, USA, Bronze

Megan Rapinoe, USA, Bronze

SOFTBALL

Ally Carda & Amanda Chidester, USA, Silver

Haylie McCleney, USA, Silver

Larissa Franklin, Canada, Bronze

Joey Lye, Canada, Bronze

(last on left)

SWIMMING

Ana Marcela Cunha, Brazil, Gold (10km)

Erica Sulliva, USA, Silver (1500m freestyle)

(left of Ledecky)

TRACK & FIELD

Yulimar Rojas, Venezuela, Gold (Triple Jump)

Raven Saunders, USA, Silver (Shot Put)

VOLLEYBALL [ETA]

Ana Carolina, Brazil, Silver

Free drinks at any lesbian bars these medalists roll up to for life, amirite? Go Team Rainbow! Happy Gold, Silver and Bronze weekend, all.

p.s. Well, now that the Tokyo Games are officially in the history books, here is a look at Team Rainbow by the numbers. The female and non-binary out queer athletes at these Games won 23 golds, 16, silvers and 13 bronzes, making for a grand total of 52 medals. That puts LGBTQ+ female or non-binary athletes at 52 total medals, placing them solidly in No. 6 in the medal counts by country, between the Athletes Formerly Known as Russia and Australia. Like I was saying, free beers forever, Olympic medalists. Next round is on us.

p.p.s. This is a reminder, young queers everywhere, that we live in a world where a five-time Olympic gold medalist and her gold-and-bronze Olympic medalist fiancee celebrated their success by kissing on national television and it was beautiful and for a moment nothing hurt.