Music Monday: Landslide Edition

Ignore Gwyneth Paltrow and pretend her Goop-y, mall mayor supporting ass and just immerse yourself in the pathos of Santana and Brittany, Naya and Heather once more. A little emotional release after a long holiday weekend feels, well, right, Happy Monday, kittens.

Music Monday: Another Fanny

Well, well, well. In light of recent Broadway developments/life imitating art, here is Naya Rivera’s Santana Lopez auditioning to be the understudy for Lea Michelle’s Rachel Berry in “Funny Girl” in its fictional Glee-world Broadway revival. With Lea taking over for Beanie and the whole debacle of this show and this summer marking the second anniversary of Naya’s death, this hits even harder. Thanks for the music and sharing your talent. We’ll never forget you. And, truly, you woulda made a great Fanny, kiddo. Happy Monday, kittens.

Music Monday: Dance With Somebody Edition

Gosh, I loved this song when it came out. Like love, love, loveloveloved it. Like dancing around my room and singing at the top of my lungs loved it. And this was before I had any inkling that Whitney may be family – albeit very, very on the down low. But, luckily, some 25 years later we did get the gay version on “Glee.” Say what you will about thar show. And, trust me, I have. But, when Brittany and Santana danced it was very, very good. Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. I totally forgot Quinn was in a wheelchair for a while. Oh, Glee.

Music Monday: Naya Edition

Scrolling through my camera roll recently, I came upon a slew of photos from the 2011 GLAAD Media Awards in San Francisco. Hard to believe it’ll be 10 years ago this week when I actually got – if only ever so briefly – to meet and interview Naya Rivera. This year will have a lot of terrible milestones like that to remember, including what will be the first anniversary of her tragic passing last summer. It still seems hardly real that someone so talented, so filled with life, so special is gone. But it’s also good to remember that there really was a time when it felt so fun and free to be part of the S.S. Brittana. “Valerie” remains one of Naya’s signature performances. And, well, any queer gal could write a whole dissertation on that like come-here finger wag Santana gives Brittany. Happy Monday, kittens.

Music Monday: Love From Naya Edition

Six years ago Naya Rivera directed a music video about immigration in America. And despite her tragic loss, it’s an inspiring reminder that what makes America great has always been its rich and diverse people. The American Experiment continues to be about creating a place for everyone. Yet we have never, not once, truly lived up to that ideal. Still we can never stop trying. Thanks for the reminder, Naya. Happy Monday, kittens.

For All The Gay Sharks

So I wrote a little something about Naya Rivera’s enduring legacy for The Hollywood Reporter today. This one goes out to all of the #gaysharks and every fan who boarded the S.S. Brittana. Her tragic death was confirmed yesterday, and the sadness set in all over again. As Santana Lopez, Naya touched so many lives. And this moment, when she is outed before she is ready and then performs what I believe the single best mashup ever done on “Glee,” is powerful beyond words. Cory and Naya are forever intertwined because of it, and now for such unspeakably somber reasons as well. But take heart that Naya will be inspiring young and not-so-young queer women and fans forever. The woman may be gone, and we mourn her so, but make no mistake she will continue to change the world.

Read my THR guest column here: How Naya Rivera Became an Icon for the LGBTQ Community

Forever Naya

Oh, Naya. I truly don’t know what to say at the news of her probable drowning yesterday after a day boating with her 4-year-old son. It’s so unspeakably sad. As of this moment, they have transitioned from a rescue to a recovery mission. We can continue to hope, but the truth is we have likely lost someone very special.

It’s not hyperbole to say Naya helped to change the world as Santana Lopez. She definitely saved lives. While all the articles I’ve read about her tragic incident so far have made mention of her role on “Glee,” most fail to mention the importance of her character to LGBTQ youth and those not-so young across the globe.

Sure, Kurt Hummel was the immediate gay breakout star. But Santana’s journey reflected that of so many queer women, especially young women. Her love for Brittany, her realization of her sexuality, her struggle to coming out (well, outing), her happily ever after.

I have been involved in a few fandoms in my day, but the Brittana fandom remains extraordinary because it’s one of the first massive, mainstream shipping fandoms just for lesbian, bisexual and queer women where we also actually saw them realized on screen. (Yes, yes – of course Willow and Tara remain an O.G., don’t worry.)

And, what made it even more cherished is that fans essentially willed it into existence. What started as a throwaway line ended up with a wedding ceremony. The lesbian blogging community demanded Brittana happen, and it did. But that wouldn’t have happened without the support of the actresses themselves – Naya and Heather.

I had the incredibly good fortune to meet Naya, albeit briefly, at the GLAAD Media Awards in 2011. This was when Brittana was in full frenzy. She was so gracious and lovely. And, well, we all know Naya has always been a knockout.

Through it all, Naya played Santana with sass and vulnerability – a difficult combination under any circumstances, but she had to do it all while singing and dancing up an absolute storm. And her voice, well, it still cuts powerfully through space and time. Just thinking about her makes me want to rewatch all of her “Glee” performances. “Rumor Has It/Someone Like You,” “Me Against the Music,” “Valerie,” “Songbird.” Oh, God, “Songbird.”

The last thing she posted was photo of her with her young son titled, “Just the two of us.” May the world wrap him in love and peace. May her memory remind us that one person can still make a difference and touch lives they’ll never know. Life continues to be so very unfair and so terribly cruel. On days like today, it sure is hard to keep believing.



ETA: Naya's body was recovered Monday, July 13. Seven years to the day that her co-star Cory Monteith died from an accidental drug overdose. May her family and the young son she saved as her last act on this Earth find peace. Thank you, Naya. Rest in power.

Me A-Gays The Music

Hey, guess what, it’s June. Which means it’s Pride Month. So say hello to gay-splosions everywhere. Fine, I know, that sounds kinda icky. Is an LGBTQ-palooza better? Anyway, however you want to describe it, just be as gay as Brittany S. Pierce and Santana Lopez singing “Me Against the Music” together. Damn, this show could be very bad. But when this show was good, it was very, very gay. Happy Pride, all!

p.s. As sadly expected, The Hate Pumpkin did not issue a Pride Month proclamation. But then a guy does not think climate change is real, do you really think he believes queer people are real and deserving of celebration? Well fuck 'em, Cheetos can't dance for shit anyway.

I Brittana You

Fine, “Glee,” fine. You made me watch the big wedding. It was uneven and unrealistic, but that’s pretty much “Glee” in a nutshell. But the Brittana bits, fine, they got me, fine. They got me not necessarily because of the poignancy of the actual moment. That was ruined by having Kurt and Blaine horn in on Brittana’s big day. Seriously, how can a show this freaking gay not take the time to make two episodes dedicated to two different, independent same-sex weddings for its two different, independent same-sex couples? Also, Kurt’s jacket was otherworldly awful. It was blue shiny camo. BLUE. SHINY. CAMO.

But, now I’ve veered off the point. And the point was the episode didn’t necessarily get me on its scripted poignancy. Sure, there were nice moments between Brittany and Santana – lovely even. But what got me was what watching something like this can mean for fans who have stuck with this coupling. Yes, this was pure, unabashed fandom service. But, hey, this fandom has been through a lot – they deserve it. What I like that – unless Ryan Murphy & Co. royally fuck this thing up in the final five episodes – lesbian viewers will have another happy ending.

This sort of thing is still important. Do all of our stories have to be happy, of course not. But there need to be enough happy endings to allow us to dream of our own. So, thanks for that. Thanks for all the pinky holds and scissoring talk and the Lebanese goodness. Thank you to Naya Rivera and Heather Morris. Thank you for Brittany and Santana. Now ride off into the sunset, you two. From background characters to forever OTP. You made it, ladies. You made it.

Will You Brittana Me?

Yes, the Birttana proposal happened. Yes, it was kinda sweet. Yes, they’re endgame. But what I really want to talk about his how Glee finally addressed its most important and ignored issue - Kurt’s toothless baby mouth. I mean, I love the guy and all, but for six seasons every time he opened his mouth to sing all I saw was the cavernous maw of a newborn. This epic burn monologue almost makes me happy to be watching “Glee” again. Almost.

http://rampagebb.tumblr.com/post/108315898233/santana-slaying-and-telling-k-urt-how-it-is

Look, I’m past caring about “Glee” in anything more than a nostalgic, head-shaking sense. But after skimming the first three episodes I have to say they’re not totally terrible. Granted it is totally terrible storytelling that a bunch of college dropouts should be hired on the spot to become teachers and coaches without credentials or experience or anything but pretty smiles and pretty voices. But, fine, I’ll suspend the laws of physics and disbelief and pretend that they’re all gainfully employed at accredited institutions to lead and instruct our nation’s youth. Watching this show requires the removal of at least one lobe of the brain already.

Aside from all of that, the big Brittana proposal episode last week actually had a few delicate touches and lovely recalls. Them saying they love each other to infinity. Them snuggling on the bed talking about scissoring. It was nice, OK, it was NICE.

While I still don’t trust Ryan Murphy with lesbian (and really any female character) storylines as far as I can throw a gay shark, I am happy the writers appear to be finally giving fandom with what they deserve. (p.s. Don’t worry, Klainers, I have no doubt your endgame is coming, too. Not a spoiler, just a hunch.) Fans of these characters have suffered long enough. Wrap it up and just make the people who cared so very much about these kids who sang and danced in the middle of class for no reason whatsoever happy.

p.s. Who was that little lesbian who came out of nowhere to hand Santana the ring? Or does Snix just bring her minions with her everywhere she goes?

p.p.s. I did not think the Coach Beiste trans storyline was totally terrible either. I sincerely hope they do something real with it moving forward and not just let it disappear like all those Glee Version 2.0 kids they brought in two seasons ago never to be heard from again.

Vacation Vixen: Naya Rivera

So “Glee” returns for its sixth and final season today. I come at this news with a mixture of ambivalence and nostalgia. I feel nostalgic for the characters I enjoyed what seemed like forever ago. And ambivalent because of that forever ago that I seemed to enjoy these characters. Still, it was sad to see Naya Rivera post about her last day as Santana last month. Walk off into that sunset, little Cheerio. It was nice knowing you.

Endgame

OK, OK – FINE! I relent. I relent. I’ll talk about it. It’s HAPPENING. Santana and Brittany are totally getting married*. Yesterday’ Naya Rivera Dorsey (still so not used to that last bit) sent out a tweet heard around the Brittanaverse.

Popping a very important question today at glee! ;-)

— Naya Rivera Dorsey (@NayaRivera) October 6, 2014

*No, I’m not including a spoiler alert because once one of your stars posts it for all the world to see, there’s nothing left to spoil.

Rumors have been swirling for a while now about the pending proposal. The fires had been fanned even more by reunion pics of Santana and Brittany awkwardly pretending they’re still n lesbian with each other puckering up together. Just kidding. They look great! Look, their lips are thisclose to touching. Honest!

I’ve divested myself of my Glee fandom long ago. I can’t even tell you if I watched the last few episodes of the last season because I can’t be bothered to care. It’s all just an epic shrug to me now. So I had heard rumblings of all the final season news – going back to Ohio, Britt and San reunion, etc. etc. But I didn’t follow it closely because, you know, it’s Glee – who the fuck knows what’s actually going to happen.

Does this mean I have to care again? Not really. Will I watch it? Yeah, probably – for the Brittana. While I’m no longer invested in these characters futures, I do feel a sentimental attachment to their pasts. So I rather like the idea of circling back and giving them a proper ending. Endgame, kittens, endgame. So, fine, you got me – one last time. Fate has laid a hand, indeed.

Tank Top Tuesday

I don’t understand… I’m so confused… I just…wait, what? So yesterday “news” broke that Michelle Rodriguez and Zac Efron were dating. Like with a picture of them kissing and everything. Irrefutable proof! I mean, they’re both in their bathing suits. That’s just science. Considering M-Rod has stated publically that she is bisexual, this should not be a big deal. But, if you talk to every lesbian on the planet’s gaydar, it’s a big fucking shock. Like, are they trolling the world? Is it April 1? Hey, more power to them. Two people who work out and wax that much deserve each other. And, you know, who she is smooching certainly doesn’t affect how she looks in a tank top.

Michelle Rodriguez

Remember when she looked like this? Yeah, hence the shock.

Rutina Wesley

So I guess I was wrong. Tara is really, truly dead. Jesus, what a shitty, disrespectful way to kill off a character that has been on the show all seven seasons – off screen. Ugh, at this point I’m hoping every single character dies. Fine, maybe not Pam.

Sasha Alexander

Please, tell me last week wasn’t just about Jane asking Maura to raise the baby with her? Be more gay, show. I mean it.

Lena Headey

I watched “Dredd” in between my Netflix lesbian movie marathon over the weekend too. Even with that scar and homicidal attitude, I’d totally hit it.

Heather Morris & Naya Rivera

Yesyerday it was confirmed that Naya Rivera would no longer be a series regular for the sixth and final (shitty, come on, you know it will be) season of “Glee” – and instead just be a recurring character. At least one of those “recurring” moments better involve Brittany.

Days of Our Lesbians

It was a big news week for us gay ladies. Some of it mere rumor, some of it true facts. K-Stew may or may not be dating her lady BFF. Naya Rivera may or may not be fired from “Glee.” Michelle Rodriguez may or may not have broken up with her model girlfriend Cara Delevingne. Queen Latifah definitely wants to star in a biopic about bisexual singer Bessie Smith helmed by out “Pariah” director Dee Rees. Sarah Silverman definitely is playing a lesbian on the new season of “Masters of Sex.” And Ellen Page most very definitely looks hot on the cover of Flare magazine. And wasn’t it just last week Jodie Foster got married to Ellen DeGeneres’ ex-girlfriend? EVERYTHING HAPPENS SO MUCH.

These are heady times to be a gay lady, indeed.

I kid, of course. I mean the definitelys are definitely positive. Thought, dammit, does this mean I have to start watching “Masters of Sex” again? But mostly I just want to say what an interesting time we live in. When I started this blog eight (yes – EIGHT) years ago, it seemed only a pipe dream that so much news about out lesbian actresses/lesbian and bisexual characters/rumored lesbians would happen in less than a week. Speaking of those eight years ago, I realize I missed my eighth blogiversary last Thursday. So I’ll blame my last weekend lapse in posting on unconscious anniversary partying. And, as I do every year, I want to thank you all for sticking around all this time. Heady times, indeed.

p.s. I claim absolutely no knowledge of the veracity of the “may or may not” items. I am Jon Snow, I know nothing.

p.s. I really wasn’t kidding about how great Ellen Page looks in Flare. I feel old and skeevy just thinking about it.

Moving Vixen: Brittana

DAMMIT, GLEE. Now I am going to have to watch next week's episode, too, to see what those lesbian lilies are all about.

p.s. Though any real lesbian knows they mean I dare you to love me.

Tank Top Tuesday: Fall TV Edition

So fall TV is well under way so it’s time to take stock in how the new and returning shows are doing. Or, more accurately, it’s time to take stock of how the new and returning shows whose stars I could find pictures of in tank tops are doing. What? Just being honest. As always, I tend to gravitate toward the shows with strong and interesting female characters – lead characters preferably. And luckily there’s a good selection of shows to choose form this season. Oh, sorry, I was talking about the tank tops again. Shall we?

Lucy Liu, “Elementary”

Remember when I said Lucy is a painter? I wasn’t kidding. Also, I think I enjoy this show more than “Sherlock.” There, I said it.

Aubrey Plaza, “Parks & Recreation”

I’m so sad beautiful tropical fish Ann is moving to Bloomington. At least April is staying.

Chloe Bennet, “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Beside Ming-Na Wen’s Agent Melinda May, Chloe’s hacktivist Skye has the most potential on the show. She’s no Buffy or Willow. And definitely no Faith. But, who knows, maybe she’ll grow on me.

Lyndie Greenwood, “Sleepy Hollow”

This has been the surprise of the season for me so far. It manages to be both funny and scary, and has a strong woman of color as co-lead. The only way this show could be more awesome is if the lead’s sister, played by Lyndie Greenwood, was also a series regular. Alas she is a guest star. Which makes me worry about the future status of her head. A lot.

A.J. Cook,” Criminal Minds”

I miss Prentiss. But thank heavens we still have JJ. Sweaty, sweaty, hot JJ.

Demi Lovato & Naya Rivera, “Glee”

I have mixed feelings about Dantana. But I sure didn’t like the weird Brittany bi-bashing that helped usher them in.

Malin Akerman, “Trophy Wife”

Alas, I haven’t watched past the pilot yet. Please don’t tell Sarah Haskins.

Sofia Vergara, “Modern Family”

I’m pretty excited for Cam and Mitchell’s wedding, but mostly because it hopefully means a lot more of Lily. She’s basically the best.

Lizzy Caplan, “Masters of Sex”

I’ve loved Lizzy since she made us all have a big lesbian crush on her in “Mean Girls.” I’m a little less sure how I feel about this new HBO series. The lesbian prostitute is my favorite so far.

EDIT: Goodness. Apologies for the wonkiness with this post. Looks like an old rewrite posted somehow. A copy editor, a copy editor, my kingdom for a copy editor.

When Naya met Demi

I’m going to be super honest, I mix Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez up in my head all the time. Which one dated Justin Bieber again? Weren’t they in a movie together? Is she the one who went to rehab? Actually, despite my frequent habit of mixing up the assorted Disneyettes, once I straighten out who she is I realized I like Demi. “Skyscraper” is a good little song and I totally sing along to “Heart Attack” in the car. And she has been refreshingly frank about her struggles with everything form bulimia to cutting and drug and alcohol abuse. All that and the girl is only 21 years old.

So when I heard she was joining “Glee” next season as Dani, a struggling NYC artist, I thought, well, that’s a pretty good casting choice. Can sing, can act (I’m guessing here, I’ve never seen “Camp Rock”). And now the Naya Rivera let news sneaks out at the MTV VMAs that Demi will play none other than Santana Lopez’s love interest next season on “Glee.” (p.s. Way to bury the lede, MTV. The headline on their story On Naya’s interview talks just about Demi joining the “Dark Side.”)

[NOTE: A couple of you said this was autoplaying. It wasn't for me when I open the page. But I turned it into a link anyway. GO HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO.]

Boom went the lesbian dynamite. OK, fine. Dammit, FINE. I’m intrigued, “Glee.” You’ve made me decide to set the DVR again for a season pass. Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in.

The evolution of my interest in the show has gone from shushing those in the room to not miss a thing to multi-tasking while it’s on in the background. Oh, that utterly forgettable Ryder kid is singing about being Catfished? Guess it’s time to reorganize the sock drawer again.

But I remain, despite my better judgment, curious about how this show where kids who sing their often boneheaded and sometimes beautiful feelings will handle the next step in Ms. Lopez’s life. Yes, I’ll always miss that rare, fleeting unicorn that was Brittana. They will always, always be special. But, like many people, we move on from our first loves – sometimes after very painful, premature endings – to find new people to fill our hearts with song. And, if we’re very lucky, the one to make it sing forever.

I have no idea what Glee & Co. has in store for Santana and Dani. I hope it’s the kind of organic, unexpected love story I know the show can do if they really try. Still, even if it’s not, there’s always laundry to fold while nice kids sing and dance on the screen.

p.s. Sandani? Dantana? Santani? Dana? Sani? Nope, not Sani – that sounds like sanitary napkin which is the worst portmanteau imagery of all time.

p.p.s. If the video auto-playing for anyone else. It is not for me, but was mentioned in the comments. Let me know and I will attempt to fix it.

Hottest of them all

Right, so each year I feel a little responsible for creating The Beast that is the AfterEllen Hot 100. It was, after all, a post about my fury over Lindsay Lohan and the Maxim Hot 100 oh so many years ago that helped to start it all. But each year, I also dutifully tell you my vote. (Sure, this year it can be votes, but I am old school and choose to vote only once like the Founding Fathers intended or whatnot.) My picks vary, there are some constants (Tina, duh), but really whatever is turning my brain and/or heart and/or other regions most on at the moment is what makes my list. And this year is no different. Seeing as today is the last day to vote in the AE poll, I thought I would show you mine. So here they are. For all to see. Now you show me yours, it only seems fair.

p.s. You can vote in the AE Hot 100 here.

Naked Thanks

You know what, we all deserve a treat. So let’s pretend it’s Monday and get with the naked ladies. I know, I know – feminism, objectification, sisterfire, Birkenstocks. But it’s Naya Rivera and Jennifer Morrison and, goddammit, haven’t we been through enough this week? The two actresses, separate halves of possibly two of the most popular ships in the lesbosea, took it all off for Allure’s annual naked issue. The accompanying mini Q&As are pretty inconsequential, so we can’t really even use the whole, “But, really, I was reading it for the articles” excuse. So let’s not even pretend. Thanks ladies, we needed that.

Also, duh, NSFW.

Sweet lady drunken hookups

Drunken hot girl-on-girl hookups just in time for sweeps week. Sweeeeet. For my SEO, I mean. For us, the viewers? Well, let’s talk about it. So, yes, Quinn and Santana totally did it. Like drunken squeals, naked limbs, tousled hair did it. Like this is what happens when collegiate sexual curiosity meets and an ex dancing within feet of you with some dude who does a terrible Sean Connery impersonation and is mixed liberally with fake IDs and an open bar. And, to be honest, I didn’t really mind it.

And, as long as we’re being honest, we really like it when girls hook up. Don’t lie. We like it. We dream about it. We root for it. We petition for it. We create elaborate fandoms built around it. We really, really like it. Just like you always want the cute girl you just met to be gay, or the celebrity you love to be gay, we want the characters we like to be gay – and gay for each other. We crave having our experiences reflected back to us, for other people to be like us, even if just on screen. So, Quinn and Santana hooking up with was, in concept, A-OK by me. Also, Santana’s exuberant cheer at the prospect of getting to know the last member of the Unholy Trinity in a biblical sense was pretty damn priceless.

The question then is whether Quinn and Santana hooking up in action was A-OK. And, it was and it wasn’t. Was the way their mutual bonding, drunken flirting and ultimate exploration played out realistically? Yes, yes it very much was. Since we’re on that honesty train, there’s a reason they call alcohol a social lubricant. If you haven’t had a drunken hook-up, it’s probably only because you’ve never been drunk. Which is of course fine. But liquid courage is real thing and mutually enjoyed by both the straight girls who need a reason to drop their inhibitions (along with their drawers) and the gay gals who need a reason to not care that the girls are straight. And Quinn and Satnana have a real history and a real connection that dates back to the first season of the show. They are indeed two ends of the same bitch-goddess spectrum. So, yes, in execution the Great Quintanna Explosion felt authentic.

But then there’s that bit about how it wasn’t. Because as amazing as seeing their post coital bliss and epic sex hair, I wish we weren’t seeing them for sweeps week. Timing, along with size, matters. Look, I’m glad in the great music chairs game of couplehood that is “Glee,” the Valentine’s Day episode gave us four couples bound for the bedroom and half of them were gay. But I’m less happy that the it has to happen on one of the few period a year that TV networks try to pump up ratings to be able to maximize ad rates. The Lesbian Sweeps Kiss has a long and frustrating history stretching form “LA Law” to “Friends” to “Party of Five” to the “The O.C.” to “Heroes” and I could go on.

While the execution on screen doesn’t necessarily scream Sweeps Lesbianism, it none the less falls into the category. And that’s disappointing. Because it is precisely these kinds of unexpected moments that can be the most exciting for us. When we see our own life amplified. Like when a show about a bunch of singing and dancing teenagers in twenthysomething bodies opens up with two cheerleaders talking about sweet lady kisses on top of each other in bed at the beginning of October for no reason other than it just felt right.

p.s. Though, nice touch with Quinn’s badly needed swig of water. ‘Cause a girl can get mighty parched while getting mighty wet. Ahem.