When They Go Low, We've Got Michelle

Since we’re feeling our political selves right now, why not so something else good for yourself and listen to former First Lady Michelle Obama’s socially distant Democratic National Convention speech. She was by far the stand-out of the first half of the all-virtual event. (Tonight we get Kamala and then Barack, which is one hell of a one-two Democratic punch.) One of the best things about Michelle is she’s not a politician and then one of the second best things about Michelle is she is still excellent at politics. Can you imagine any Republican national figure giving such a heartfelt speech about empathy in this political moment? No, you can’t because they’ve all made it very, very clear in the past almost four years they really don’t care – and then some. So spend the next 18 minutes with a woman who really does care.

Vacation Vixen: The Forever First Family

Guess what, I’m on vacation! Again! I’m off to a quick last-minute family reunion back in “Real ’Merica.” Kidding, it’s just Indiana – which is, you know, totally fine except that it gave the world Mike Pence. So, yeah, our bad.

Anyway, as always, in my absence I leave you with some Vacation Vixens to help you pass the time. While I am not doing anything even remotely as glamorous as Michelle, Sasha and Malia (though, damn, if seeing them now doesn’t make me ache for the days when an extraordinarily good, true and decent First Family was in the White House), they remain eternal vacation goals. Though, perhaps without the jet skiing police escort.

My Weekend Crush

The first crush of 2019 is not a new crush. But she is an eternal crush – an eternal crush who now rocks thigh-high glitter boots. HELLO. I have never missed the Obamas more than at this political moment. But I’m so glad to see they’re both out their living their best lives – particularly Michelle. After all, happiness is the best revenge. That and, you know, looking amazing in thigh-high glitter boots. May we all enter 2019 with thigh-high glitter boots in our hearts, and determination to walk all over injustice this year. Happy first weekend of 2019, all.

My Weekend Crush

Goodness, do I miss Michelle Obama. I miss Barack Obama, too, of course. Heck, I miss the whole Obama family. I miss having such a brilliant, compassionate, inspirational First Family in the White House. Now we’ve just got a bunch of idiot, bigoted grifters raging their way through the hallowed halls. I mean, that rotting pumpkin we call a president couldn’t even be bothered to go out in the rain on Veteran’s Day. Anyway. Thanks for wanting to be part of our big gay celebration of marriage equality in 2015, our forever in our hearts First Lady. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Vote

Gosh, I miss Michelle Obama. But, man, does it only make me love her more when she spearheads a project to get people to register and vote, called When We All Vote. I have never understood people who do not vote. This is your chance. This is how democracy works. And democracy is not a spectator sport. And for everyone who says “My vote doesn’t matter,” let me remind you about the 79,646 votes in three states who put us where we are today. In a country of 325.7 million people that is nothing. Yet if each one of those 79,646 people had decided to stay home instead, or better yet if 79,647 Democratic voters had decided to go to the polls instead, we would be in an entirely different world. So get registered, check if your registration is current and get your ass to the ballot box for every election. Not just the midterms. Not just the presidential years. But each election matters and is your chance to mold the world you want to see. Because if you don’t, you are letting those 79,646 (and then some) yahoos decide your fate instead. Happy weekend and exercise your right to vote, all.

My Weekend First Lady

Courage, kittens. Courage. I can’t believe this is the last speech Michelle Obama will give as First Lady of the United Statues. For the past eight years it has been our country’s great honor to have this amazing woman at its helm. She has been the epitome of strength, intelligence, honor and compassion. She’s also been really cool and really fun and really refreshing. In her last speech she said she hopes she made us proud. Please, if only we as a country were worth her endless grace and fierce integrity. So, in her honor I will try to not be afraid of what is coming in these next four years. We can’t fear the future, but we can fight like hell to make it better. Be determined. Thanks, Mrs. Obama. I cannot believe we have to let her go in a week. Thank you so much. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Crush

Some day, hopefully on Nov. 9, I will get to stop writing about the hellscape that is our current political landscape and start writing about cute women kissing each other again. But as vile and, yes, deplorable as this election has become let us not become beaten down by its seemingly endless awfulness. Let us instead be steadfast, determined and above all resolute that we deserve better than this. That we can do better than this. That we are better than this. And we will win. And to help us remember that I advise you watch this speech by First Lady Michelle Obama at least once a day until Nov. 8. Yes we can do this. I’m with her and her. We’re going to win this thing. Happy weekend, all.

Get Your FLOTUS On

Right, so last week we heard an endless stream of hateful and wackadoodle nonsense from politicians. Thank goodness the Democratic National Convention starts this weekend as an antidote to all that venomous bile. Does the party have issues, sure – politics is never perfect and is always a process. But my vote will invariably go to the people who fight for my rights instead of fear my very existence.

So tonight I can’t wait to see more friendly, thoughful folks talking to me from my TV screen instead of the fact-free free-for-all that was last week. Among them tonight will be none other than the FLOTUS with the most-us, Michelle Obama. I can’t tell you how much I am going to miss the Obamas when they leave office. They have been such a refreshing, wonderful, empowering presence for this country. And, come on, they’re so cool. They’re endlessly cool. I mean, what other First Lady could you see doing Carpool Karaoke to “Get Ur Freak On” with Missy Elliott herself?

Even if you watched it already this is one of those guaranteed mood lifters. And with each repeat watch it’s fun to spot the Secret Service vehicles tailing them in the background. HOLLA!

p.s. In case you missed it, or just want to feel chills again, here is Michelle's speech last night at the Democratic National Convention. My God, am I going to miss her as First Lady. We are so lucky to have had her, we really are.

My Weekend Crush

Holy crap, you guys. No matter how you feel about politics, as a nation I think we can agree that First Lady Michelle Obama looked fly as hell last night at the state dinner for China. And from the look on his face, POTUS know just how lucky he is to have FLOTUS by his side. Happy weekend, all.

First Lady of Dunk

I know they still have two three years, but dammit if I’m already worrying about how much I’m going to miss having the Obamas in the White House. My separation anxiety has already begun. Politics aside (thought, for the record, voted for him twice and would happily again – despite his various shortcomings and numerous flaws), there has been something so incredibly refreshing about having such a young and vibrant family at the helm of our country. Also, not to state the obvious, but no other First Family has ever looked like the Obamas. It’s been so incredibly refreshing and so incredibly long overdue.

Among the things I’ve loved most about having the Obamas in the White House is having Michelle Obama as First Lady. I know, I know – how dare she plant a vegetable garden and ask children to get off the couch. What is this? Communist Russia? The lady is a world-class shade thrower (with a name like Boehner, how could you not?), a world-class dancer (girl can Dougie) and having world-class arms (Arm Porn in Chief). And now we find out the lady can dunk.



OK, fine, not exactly. But you can’t beat her In-Your-Face face afterward.



Yeah, I am going to miss that lady like crazy.

FLOTUS Dance Party

It’s been an intense two days. And I just want to have some fun. And in doing so say how much I appreciate all of you kind, lovely people who come back day-after-day, week-after-week, year-after-year to read the assorted flotsam and jetsam that floats through my mind. And when I grow weary, you’re the ones who lift me up and remind me why writing for and about a vibrant and underrepresented community matters. And that makes me feel like dancing. And I’m going to take a few cues from the First Lady of the United States and try out my best mom moves in the middle of my living room. I’m partial to the “Oh My God, I Love This Song.” Hey, if I could do it half as well as Mrs. Obama, I’d be happy. FLOTUS dance party!

"Seneca Falls, Selma and Stonewall"

The pomp and circumstance of politics can be needless trifle. But they can also serve as a clarion call to our future. So yesterday, when President Barack Obama mentioned “gay” for the first time ever in a presidential inaugural address and made a commitment to the rights of LGBT, women, immigrants and more, it was definitely not trifle. While last inauguration the president expounded on the hope and change he envisioned for our country, I now feel that hope and change is fully in our grasp in his second term. Has it been perfect? It never is. Will it be hard? Almost everything worthwhile is. Our journey is not complete, but at least we’re on our way. From Seneca Falls to Selma to Stonewall. We’ll get there together.

p.s. Beyonce. Damn. Drop the earpiece is the new drop the mic.

p.p.s. SGALGG: Queen B meets FLOTUS Edition.

Vacation Vixen: Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama brought it last night, and not just the biceps. She was eloquent, passionate, compassionate. And she did this all while essentially saying, “Just be a good person, not a greedy fuck.” Now that’s the America I want to live in for the next four years – and forever.

BAMF FLOTUS

Let me just get this out there immediately, our FLOTUS is a BAMF. Yeah, I said it. Our First Lady of the United States is a Bad Ass Mutha F-(word I cannot say because this is the presidency of the United States of America we are talking about, not some juvenile detention hall cafeteria). Still there’s no ifs, ands or butts about it. What I like about her isn’t just that she has been a gracious and vivacious First Lady, which she certainly has. It is that she seems to have a great sense of humor about all of it. Both about herself and about the situation. The way she gently ribs her husband, the President, is pretty damn endearing. And the way she has presented herself in the public eye is pretty damn impressive. Also, have I mentioned she’s a BAMF? Yeah. I’ve particularly enjoyed the “Show, Don’t Tell” approach she has taken to her Let’s Move Initiative to end childhood obesity. Watching the First Lady run, jump, dance, hula hoop and even potato sack race has truly been a pleasure. Thank you, Mrs. Obama. A grateful nation salutes your stellar athleticism. Also, damn, those arms. Happy Presidents’ Day, indeed.

Michelle v. Jimmy

Can you see Barbara Bush doing this, let alone being able to do this?

Michelle v. Ellen

I don’t think Ellen let her win. I think she flat-out beat her.

Michelle v. The Dougie

Fuck yeah, our First Lady can Dougie.

SGALGG: Co-Worker Edition

It’s that time of year again for office potlucks and parties. That means hours of awkward socialization with your coworkers and watching your boss get sauced while hit on the receptionist. For the love of God, someone spike the eggnog so we can make it through the holiday season. But informal interactions with your colleagues doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable exercise in stilted small talk. In fact, it could be downright enjoyable. Of course, the level of enjoyability is greatly dependent on who your co-workers are. I mean, these co-workers certainly seem friendly. And when I say “friendly,” I mean like Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Let Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn, circa “She-Devil” “Death Becomes Her” (mixed up my late 80s-early 90s wacky Meryl Streep comedies) show you the way to workplace bliss. She ain’t heavy, she’s my co-worker.

Alison Brie & Gillian Jacobs, “Community”Alison tweeted that this was her preferred reading position. “Reading,” so that’s what the kids are calling it today.

Maggie Q & Lyndsy Fonseca, “Nikita”Lyndsy looks like she is blushing from Maggie whispering a passage from some particularly explicit Nikita/Alex fanfic she found online. What? I can’t be the only one who ships this, right? I mean, have you seen how many tank tops they wear?

Lena Headey & Summer Glau, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”Speaking of tank tops, this show was none too shabby about getting its stars in them whenever possible.

Emily Blunt & Amy Adams, “Sunshine Cleaning”Sure, they played sisters. But that body language isn’t sisterly. Just sayin’.

Blake Lively & Leighton Meester, “Gossip Girl”It’s the old “let’s compare hand sizes”-move. Nice.

Feist & Emily Haines, Broken Social SceneIndie Rock Goddess Powers activate.

Audra McDonald & Anne Hathaway, “Twelfth Night”So much Shakespearean swoon is happening in this picture, it almost needs footnotes.

Chloe Sevigny & Ginnifer Goodwin, “Big Love”Bill Paxton who?

Jill Biden & Michelle ObamaThey make a very nice couple. No, really, I mean that. That look Michelle is giving Jill says maybe she does, too.

Naya Rivera & Dianna Agron, “Glee”Quintana, is that a thing?

Dianna Agron & Lea Michele, “Glee”Now I know Faberry/Achele is a thing. And by “thing” I mean what I replace all Quinn/Sam or Rachel/Finn scenes with in my head.

My Weekend Crush

Children love to hug Michelle Obama. They run up, heads raised, eyes sparkling and just grab hold. They’re in awe and also maybe a little bit in love. Really, we all are. I mean, gosh, wouldn’t you just love to hug her, too? In her less than five months as First Lady, Michelle has confirmed everything we already knew about her. Smart. Passionate. Dedicated. Inspiring. She has also proven herself to be something many of her detractors once wickedly whispered that she wasn’t – warm. Hence all the hugging. Michelle Obama is the kind of First Lady who both makes us feel better about and brings out the best in ourselves. While she happily and eloquently speaks out about the causes she champions – from education to national service – what she has really done best is that old writer’s trick: show, don’t tell. We are moved by Michelle because of what we see. A Harvard-educated lawyer. A dedicated community activist. A loving mother of two wonderfully well-adjusted daughters. And the supportive yet seldom sycophantic spouse of the leader of the free world.

Through the years we have had many amazing First ladies from Abigail Adams to Eleanor Roosevelt and Hillary Clinton. What Michelle has been able to do in her short period of time in the spotlight is the seemingly-impossible task of being both glamorous and grounded. We can relate to her, but we also aspire to be like her. She seems as at ease chatting up the queen as she is palling around with Elmo. She is real, she works hard and something tells me she still makes the President pick up his own dirty socks. I like that, I like that a lot. And, at the same time, you know his heart probably races whenever she enters the room. It’s awesome to have a First Couple who totally have the hots for each other. Heck, and we haven’t even started to talk about her arms. Sweet mercy, her arms (you’re going to want to click that, seriously, trust me). Happy Mother’s Day, ladies. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Sarah Haskins totally agrees with me.

p.p.s. Well now Michelle is just teasing us with them.

SGALGG: First Lady Edition

Oh, hell, why not bring back all the old favorites this week? Though, out of respect for the subject matter today I guess I should rename today's post Straight First Lady of the United States Acting Like a Gay First Lady of the United States. You know, SFLOTUSALGFLOTUS. Wow, that acronym needs its own zip code. Watching First Lady Michelle Obama and her husband take the globe by storm this past week has been a true pleasure, and not just for the lovely, lovely photo ops. While I still stand by my earlier assessment, I'm more than happy to compare and contrast in the name of international relations. [Hat tip, Virgotex!] And while we're on the subject of relations, I greatly approve of the European tradition of greeting with a kiss. Greatly.

Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni-SarkozyMake love, not war, illustrated.

Michelle totally looks like she's picking Carla up for a date.

Among the many, many reasons more women should be world leaders: international summits would look like this.

Michelle Obama and Hillary ClintonI can't be the only one screaming “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” at my screen right now.

Besides holding hands, Michelle and Hillary enjoy walking on the beach, watching sunsets and working on education policy reform.

Michelle Obama and Queen Elizabeth IIWhen even the Queen can't resist a little snuggle, you know your first lady is hot.

Vacation Vixen: Michelle Obama

Our First Lady is hotter than your first lady. Suck it, France.