Orphan Genius

The #OrphanBlackEchoes title sequence is here.

Check out the official opening, sung by the brilliant @@julienrbaker. pic.twitter.com/M6cI1dJYH6

— Orphan Black: Echoes (@OrphanBlack) March 30, 2024

How gay will the new “Orphan Black: Echoes” series be? Well, Julien Baker of boygenius performs the theme song so…pretty gay. Also gay? Keeley Hawes (of “Tipping the Velvet” eternal adoration despite Kitty being terribly problematic) plays grown-up Kira who is married to a woman. Evelyne Brochu returns as Dr. Delphine Cormier (who per character descriptions appears married Cosima though it’s 30 years in the future so I’m not sure what anyone’s relationship status is at this point…) And of course there is Krysten Ritter as Lucy, who may or may not also be gay, but played at the very least somewhat open to the idea in “Jessica Jones.” Like I was saying, seems pretty gay to me. And they’re debuting this thing in June? Happy Clone Pride, y’all.

Echoes of Clones Past

So, I don’t know a lot about the new Orphan Black spin-off series “Orphan Black Echoes.” But what I do know is that Krysten Ritter plays the probable new head of Clone Club and Keeley Hawes plays her what appears to be her handler. I also know it is set in the future (2052) and there’s one of those classic sci-fi nightmare waking up in a tub of goo scenes. And it’s in the same universe as the original “Orphan Black.” Now, I’ve enjoyed Krysten since I recapped “Jessica Jones” which doesn’t that seem like a lifetime ago? And Keeley, well, she will always be Kitty Butler extending that rose to me. Oh, “Tipping the Velvet.” *sighs in Gen. X lesbian* I do not know how many clones there will be. I don’t even know if there will be clones. But I know I’m curious to see how Krysten will compare to the inimitable Tatiana Maslany. I’m also curious to see if any of the new characters will be gay. But then, I’m always curious about that, in TV and real life. So, ya watching? And, seriously, does anyone know what’s going on? I guess business as usual in the Orphan Black universe.

My Weekend Clone

Clone Club, reassemble. The cast of “Orphan Black” is coming back this weekend for a virtual table read to entertain us all while we continue to shelter in place (and for all the places where you are no longer required to shelter in place, uh, please continue to be safe no matter what your Republican governor says). The event will also raise awareness for Mental Health Awareness Month and International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia while raising cash for CenterLink, a nonprofit that supports some 250 LGBTQ community centers around the world, and Sistering, a nonprofit that helps at-risk women and trans people. This very special social distanced Clone Club reunion will span a two-episode table read. It will be quite something to watch Tatiana Maslany switch characters mid-stream. She fully became Sarah and Cosima and Alison and Helena, so much so that sometimes I would almost forget they were all the same stupidly talented person. What will happen? Are Cosima and Delphine still curing the Ledas? Have Sarah and Felix launched a pop-up art space for LGBTQ+ creators? Did Helen*Rachel cut her own hair during self-quarantine to maintain that razor-sharp bob? Guess we will find out at 3 p.m. ET/12 p.m. PT Sunday, May 17, on the official Orphan Black Facebook page. Fetch me something gay, I've got some Cloning to do. Happy safe and healthy weekend, all.

*Quarantine tired brain strikes. I'm just making up sestras because why not, our "president" makes up facts, crimes, history, science, words, people and scandals on a daily basis.

So Long Sestras

Aw man, I miss them (and by them I mean mostly Tatiana Maslany times 274) already. If you haven’t watched the finale of “Orphan Black,” cease and desist with the reading. And if you haven’t watched the series, come on now. The finale was interesting because in many ways it was so unexpected. I was bracing for the twists. I was ready for the turns. But instead of throwing one last big scary surprise at us, it went straightforward. It actually let them beat the big bad baldie (yeah, that was one hell of a wig) at the half way mark.

And then, and then they were allowed to just be. Just when we think we have “Orphan Black” figured as a fast-paced crazy science thriller, it slows down. It got quiet and reflected on what all that crazy science actually means. Questions about biology, destiny and self abounded. But what mattered most was these sestras, the connection this unparalleled sisterhood. And while, no, it wasn’t what I expected, it was lovely. And Clone Club lived happily ever after (Cophine very much included - yay gays!).

My Weekend Crush

I can’t believe the trip is almost over. Five years, countless Tatianas and at least two smitten puppies later and “Orphan Black” is about to end. It has been a wild and wonderful trip. Still today I will find myself watching an episode and think, “Oh, not too much Alison in this one – too bad for that actress” or “Man, Cosima is really the hottest of the clones.” But, oh yeah, they’re all Tatiana Maslany. Every. Single. One. One of the best things about this show is how it has allowed a galaxy of women to command the screen – granted like 20 of them were played by Tatiana. But it’s women who drive this narrative and we care about the most (plus Felix, we love Felix). The other best thing about this series is, of course, Cophine. Whether by design or by fan pressure, “Orphan Black” became one of the very few shows on television to unbury its gays. Now, I don’t know who will make it to the very end Saturday, but I do know we’ve been given a rich, complicated, sexy relationship for five seasons between Cosima Niehaus and Delphine Cormier. May they make beautiful science together forever. Happy watching and weekend, all.

My Weekend Crush

You know what this final season of “Orphan Black” needs? More Delphine. Of course, there’s very little in life that could not be considerably improved by more Delphine. So there’s that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am beyond thrilled that she was cured of Dead Lesbian Syndrome. Still a little part of me misses badass bitch, straight-haired Delphine from two seasons ago. But cheated death, secret rebel mad science adorable puppy Delphine isn’t terrible either. It’s just harder to set to song. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Television

Guys, this is almost an embarrassment of lesbian television riches this weekend. “Orange Is the New Black,” “Wynonna Earp,” and “Orphan Black” are all back. The TV gods can be cruel to us, for sure. And have been, far too often. But then, sometimes just sometimes, it seems like maybe they’re trying to make amends for all the broken hearts and stray bullets us poor gay ladies have had to endure. And what else can you say when they lay down a bounty of queer female characters like those returning to our screens this weekend?

So stock up on snacks. Lock the front door. And make sure the batteries in your remote work. You’re not leaving the couch basically ever. Oh, and, don’t bother the queer ladies, they’re watching ALL OF THE TELEVISION. Happy weekend, all.

Fade To Black

You guys, not only do we get “Wynonna Earp” this weekend, we get “Orphan Black.” The final season, the final trip, the final puppies. Look, this series has had more twists, and definitely more clones, than you can shake a non-vestigial tail at. But one of its very, very (very, very, very) best twists was to Undead Lesbian Syndrome one Dr. Delphine Cormier. (Memo to Showrunners: You know you can’t kill Delphine twice. There’s a rule. Signed, All The Gay Ladies everywhere.) Look, I have no idea where this crazy, clone-y ride will end. But I can’t wait to see where Sarah, Cosima, Alison, Helena, Rachel and Krystal end up. I just can’t believe this is the last time we’ll get to see this much Tatiana Maslany all at once.



p.s. I so wanted my Maslany fix over the weekend I watched “Ginger Snaps 2,” simply because a tiny Tatiana was in it. She was, of course, very good. And very creepy. Is there nothing she can’t do?

Dead Ringer

[Orphan Black Spoilers, sweeties]

So, I don’t know about you, but after last week’s “Orphan Black” ended I spent the next 15 minutes screaming and rewinding the last 30 seconds. And then screaming and rewinding the last 30 seconds. So, yes, Delphine is back. Yes, this show has pulled the most epic Not-So Dead Lesbian (Non-)Trope plot twist ever. Yes, I am so excited and cannot believe there is only one episode left this season. To make up for all the anguish it put all us Cophine fans through, perhaps they can just have those two make out for all 10 episodes next season. What? It only seems fair.

I have – decapitated swans aside – enjoyed the hell out of this season. Sure, there was a tragic lack of Delphine (again – you sneaky, glorious bastards). But it was almost made up for by an abundance of Krystal. Though, I have one suggestion for next season. Can we please get some stylish bullet-proof vests for our gals? Hey, gay ladies on TV can never be too careful.

p.s. So news broke this morning that “Orphan Black” has been renewed for a fifth and final season. So take note, TV executives: Tatiana Maslany will be available in one year. Begin your mad scramble accordingly. Man, it will be so strange seeing her play only one role at a time.

Out of the Black

Holy shit guys. Wait, first, spoilers for last week’s “Orphan Black” ahead. OK, we all clear? Good. Then let me say: It’s alive! ALIVE! The Cophine fandom LIVES! You know, it’s hard to think of another instance where we (potentially) got one back from the Bury Your Gays trope. Yet here we are, on the verge of erasing Dr. Delphine Cormier from the Dead Lesbian Syndrome rolls. And it’s so terribly clever.

I had resigned myself, after the week’s before episode, to the fact that the blonde French doctor was, indeed gone. Cosima’s breakdown when Evie Cho told her as much was one of the most gut-wrenching, soul-shaking cries I’ve ever heard uttered from a human person. Slow and forever clap for Tatiana Maslany.



But then, this week. Holy shit, guys.



This season has been *insert fire emoji here* and I don’t mind saying it. Not one bit. Now, let’s go find our girl, eh?

Back to Black

So how about that “Orphan Black” season opener? Starting off with a flashback? Showing us more about Beth? Introducing a new clone named MK? Not a Castor clone in sight. Yes, yes, and yaaaaaaaas. Of course, the problem with showing us more about Beth is now we want more of Beth. But alas, we all know how that ends.

Last season of “Orphan Black” was, well, convoluted. And adding the Castor Clones diluted what has always been best about the series – Tatiana Maslany in all her many incarnations. I hope this season premiere signals a return to form for the show. And I hope against all possible hope that we can also see a return to Delphine. Yes, I know – those bullet holes looked pretty convincing. But a gal can dream. Come back, Evelyne Brochu. Come back.

Ides of March

Welcome to the Ides of March. Which is to say, we have to get through all of damn March for some of the best shows to come back. Damn, March. Back at it with the binge watch blocking. Fine, I’m sure it’s a fine month with many fine qualities. But April, it gets the fine shows.

Orphan Black back April 14 on BBC America

Oh lord, the mention of Delphine. Also, I think we can all agree the Dolly the Sheep mask is both brilliant and creepy. Brilliantly creepy.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt back April 15 on Netflix

Already so much fun and this is just a teaser trailer.

Ab Fab: The Movie opens July 22 in the U.S.

Fine, this isn’t in April. But, sweetie darling, does it matter when there’s Stoli?

Current Mood: Carol Rewatch

http://dorothy-snarker.tumblr.com/post/136670262160/obcrack-delphine-drunk-af-watching-carol

So I am back in the office and back to wishing I was watching “Carol,” like every other gay lady on the planet. Siiiigh. Alas I will have to let Delphine get drunk and rewatch for me instead. Hat tip, of course, to Pepa the Orphan Crack mastermind.

Orphan Jones

Just a friendly neighborhood reminder that I’m currently recapping “Jessica Jones” over at AfterEllen. Fresh and ready recaps go up on Mondays (every now and then Tuesdays, if it has been one of those weekends). You can find this week’s recap here. Also, this is a friendly neighborhood reminder that Orphan Crack continues to be some of the most clever mashups around. Oh, and Tatiana Maslany wuz robbed by the Golden Globes. But then, you knew that already.

My Weekend Crush

So the Emmy Awards are this Sunday and I have to say I’m not overly invested this year. Naturally there are shows I enjoy and will be rooting for. “Orange Is the New Black,” “Transparent,” “Parks and Recreation,” “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” “Orphan Black,” et al. But the two categories I’m most interested will be the Outstanding Lead Actress categories for Drama and Comedy. And you’d better believe I’m rooting for Tatiana Maslany and Amy Poehler. Now will either win? Sadly, probably not because the Television Academy is pretty terrible most of the time. But we can dream, dammit. And, win or lose, they’ll never take away the great “Orphan Black”/”Parks and Rec” crossover of our dreams. Happy weekend, all.

Orphan Crack

And in this moment, we are all Litchfield. Damn, you know how you can get sucked into those YouTube mashup rabbit holes where the further you go the better and weirder it gets? Well, welcome to Orphan Crack. I have no idea who this crazy editing genius named Pepa is, but I know she makes a mean crossover video.

Like, seriously.



No, but I mean it.



Yeah, told ya so.



Yep, like I was saying. Have fun with that rabbit hole.

p.s. Oh, oh, have you seen the real show’s new official blooper reel. Yeah, you are never getting off YouTube now.



p.p.s. AN EMMY NOMINATION FOR TATIANA MASLANY?!? I don’t know what to do with all the pent-up rage I normally store to unleash on the Academy this time of year. Group clone club dance off?

Orphan Puppy

Damn, “Orphan Black,” damn. I haven’t really been able to process this season past the “holy shit” and “noooo” of it all. But, you know, holy shit and nooooooo!

[Spoilers for the “Orphan Black” season finale, obviously]

So, yeah. I hate to say it but going into the season finale I was pretty sure either a) Shay, or b) Delphine would die. The cynical side of me would say it’s because there couldn’t possibly continue to be two strong, viable romantic interests for the lesbian character on television. The less cynical side of me says that under her breath, but also understands how story development works and saw either of them as the most likely “expendables” in the plot.

So while I wasn’t shocked, I am terribly saddened that Delphine had to get that gut shot. (Though, fingers crossed, we didn’t actually see the kill shot – I know, I know – let me dream.)

I can’t say I’m super excited about this new Neolution direction. But then I wasn’t super excited about the Castor clones direction either, and they turned out to be mostly harmless (well, not literally, but you know what I mean). It’s not that I think the concept of the Neolutionists is bad, it’s that whenever you get religious wingnuts (or whatever this brand of zealotry is) involved things can get, well, nuts.

But, anyway, back to Delphine. Oh, Ms. Dr. Cormier. How I will miss her. How much she loved Cosima. How well Evelyne Brochu played this whole season. That last scene when she tells Cosima goodbye? As the kids today say, ALL OF THE FEELS. They still say that, right?

It’s hard to imagine that all that crazy science and all that puppy love is really gone. But, damn, way to become the hero this show deserves.

Sapphire is a Girl's Best Friend

To quote Keanu Reeves in every movie he’s ever been in, “Whoa.” Like, “Whoa, ‘Orphan Black.’ You’re, like, blowing my damn mind.” Now I know I – and many of you – went into this season with a certain amount of trepidation. Boy clones, really? How could adding a bunch of same-faced dudes to a show that has so stalwartly been about women – sisters, at that – and their fight to determine their owns lives possibly make things better?

Well, the answer is they couldn’t. But the good news is they haven’t had to. Because the boy clones – while present – have largely been just another obstacle for our seestras to overcome. And, the even better news, is the boy clones haven’t had nearly as much screen time as I had worried. (It helps that a couple of them got killed off pretty quickly, too.) This, again, is good because Ari Millen, you’re no Tatiana Maslany. Not by a long shot.

Anyway. This was not what made me go “Whoa.” What made me go “Whoa” – or, more accurately, “Whooooooa” – was Shay. Like, “Whoooooa. Hellooooo, Shay.” If you’re a fan of Ksenia Solo (and if you’re not, what’s wrong with you) you already love her because, duh, Kenzi. But now you’ll love, love her as Shay. Granted, the whole holistic healer thing is a little too moonbeam and crystals for me. But, hey, who doesn’t love a gal who is good with her hands? Amirite? I’m right.

Granted, I have no idea where this whole Shay/Cosima thing is going. (Also is Shaysima really their portmanteau? Because, meh.) She could turn out to be yet another terrifying twist in this crazy clonespiracy. But right now, I like it. I like it a lot. They’ve got chemistry, which for both a scientist and a TV couple is key. And, damn, these two gals have it. Their chemistry is like a Bunsen burner on full boil. How many times did you rewind that scene? Come on, don’t lie. This is for science.

Look, I love Delphine, obviously. But, first and foremost, I want Cosima to be happy. And right now, this Shay girl? Whoa, does she have lots of happy, happy potential.

Also, after watching Ksenia dance (like, literally in “Black Swan”) around roles in projects with other plenty of queer female characters, it’s nice to see her play one for a chance. Like really nice. Like, whoa.

p.s. How many lesbians desperately searched the app store for Sapphire so they could find their very own Shay after this episode? Come on, don’t lie. Again, for science.

Delphine? More like Delfine!

Can we talk about the Season 3 “Orphan Black” premiere? No, wait, that’s a lie. I only sort of want to talk about the Season 3 “Orphan Black” premiere. I mostly want to talk about Delphine. There is no other character on “Orphan Black” right now that I am more simultaneously scared of and turned on by than Delphine. This new, straight-haired, no-nonsense, socket-squishing Delphine is quite something. I know some are calling her “Mean Delphine,” but she is so much more than that. She has become perhaps the clones’ most fierce protector. And as such she appears to be willing and capable of doing whatever is necessary to protect the, all of them. In short, you don’t fuck with her. Goodbye old Delphine, hello Boss Ass Bitch Delphine.



I actually greatly enjoy this new development, and not just because strong, badass women are sexy. It’s because since the start Delphine’s true motivations have been a little suspect. I’ve never doubted her love and connection with Cosima – that always felt real. But I’ve wondered what her end game really was. Was she in it for Dyad? For science? For herself? Now the answer appears to be evident: She was in it for the clones and one clone in particular, Cosima. But as the song goes, “If you love someone, set them free…” So to truly love and protect Cosima she had to let Cosima go. So as Dyad’s new Rachel, she does just that. Oh, cruel fate. You heart-crushing bastard.



So while I still dislike the boy clones (way to make them completely indistinct from each other aside for wispy facial hair and/or scars, show) and the increasingly convoluted layers of conspiracy (First Dyad now Topside, oy, if this thing ends with Overlord Xenu I’m going to be pissed), I do like this new clearly focused Delphine. Granted, she scares the shit out of me. But I respect the hell out of her, too. And, you know, she can get it anytime. Anytime at all.

My Weekend Crush

A video posted by Orphan Black (@orphanblacktv) on Apr 13, 2015 at 10:22am PDT

So “Orphan Black” is back and I am of course excited. For two seasons now it has been one of the most thrilling shows complete with one of the most exhilarating performances by an actress I’ve seen on TV. But here’s the thing, I’m really not really thrilled about Project Castor. The twist of male clones to me is kind of, well, disappointing. It’s not that I think they’ll do a bad job with the storyline. Or that I think they’ve picked a bad actor to portray the boy clones. But it’s just that from its start “Orphan Black” has been about the struggle for female agency. It’s about these women taking their lives back from the unseen forces attempting to monitor, control and modify them. It’s been about these women, these fascinating women. And now it’s about these women and these guys. Call me grumpy, but I don’t want to share.

Yet, I’m still open-minded. I love this show enough to trust they’ll do a good job with these new characters and do good by these women we know and love. Plus the promos, particularly the “You Don’t Own Me” nature of the campaign, highlights and magnifies the show’s central theme of agency. So I have faith they won’t squander the good thing they’ve got going with this story and their force of nature of a star. In Tatiana Maslany we trust. Happy “Orphan Black” weekend, all.