Friday, November 28, 2008

My Weekend Crush

Thanksgiving got me thinking about family. And family got me thinking about moms. And moms got me thinking about Lauren Graham. Of course, this is silly since while Lauren is probably most famous for playing the simultaneously coolest and fastest-talking mom in TV history, she herself is not a mom and therefore should not be considered that acronym that rhymes with “filth.” But, hey, that's how my mind works and who can blame me for wanting to think about Lauren Graham?

Lauren is the girl you wished lived next door. She is accessible, yet totally not. It's that dream of accessibility that tantalizes us so. And then there's that promise of mischief. Her eyes have that proverbial twinkle, her grin curls slyly toward Cheshire. When you couple both those with her impeccable delivery of the perfectly placed quip the result is beyond irresistible. In short, she is the kind of girl you can't decide whether you want more as your best friend or your girlfriend. Though, in the end, the only acceptable answer is both. Happy weekend, all.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


We're T-minus one day away from total food comas here in the states. But this year I thought I would give thanks before we gorged ourselves on turkey or tofurkey or – god, forbid – turducken (note to food marketers, never start the name of your dish with “turd”). With that here are a few of the things I am truly thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Jennifer Beals' ArmsLadies, if those don't make you gay then you're truly a lost cause and good luck with the fellas.

Tina Fey's PalinIs political satire essential in a thriving democracy? You betcha.

Rachel Maddow's BrainBoys may not, but girls sure do make passes at girls who wear glasses. Especially the smart ones.

Your Reading HabitsThank you all for stopping by my tiny corner of the interwebs. Thank you for following my blog. Thank you for sending me emails (which I am still working through, please continue to forgive my tardiness). Thank you for being so lovely and smart and funny and generally awesome. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So, now it's your turn. Anything you're particularly thankful for this year? Let's hear it. Oh, and pass the gravy. See you Friday. Happy gobble gobble, all.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Pre-Pre-L: L'ementary, my dear Watson

So, is this the look that kills? Or is it the look that is about to get killed? Let's get our Sherlock Holmes on and sleuth out the answers. The first production stills of “The L Word” Season 6 have been released and if the 30-some images are any indication, things are deadly serious in the house that Mama Chaiken built. It's like a no smile zone. All we see initially in episode 601 are the gals sitting around The Planet waiting for someone to die.

[Photos by Paul Michaud/Showtime. Please link instead of reposting. Click any and all to enlarge.]

Bette: Come on, arms like those alone are reason to smile.Shane: I wouldn't smile either if I had to wear Beetlejuice's pants.Alice: Is this the face of guilt?Jenny: Is this the face of crazy?Tasha: Yep, Jenny is the face of crazy.Tina: She is either telling Helena she wants two sugars or to duck because someone has a gun.Helena: This is as close as we get to a smile, and really I think it says, “Dammit, Ilene, didn't you already kill off Dana?”Once the gals move away from The Planet things are just as smile-free, but conveniently more LOLesbians-worthy.

Shane: I has a bucket.Alice: Looking innocent, ur doin it wrong.Alice & Tasha 1: Being in love, ur also doin it wrong.Alice & Tasha 2: OK, now ur doin it rite.Shane: All ur lesbians are belong to us.Bette: Hey, sum ur lesbians are belong to me.Tina: Pout, I has it.(Also, um are those plastic cuffs on that dress? Tina, girl, no.)

This next set I call "A Day in the Life of The Lesbian Fonz.”

Morning: Everything was great until her girlfriend got home.Afternoon: Yeah, this is my suitcase. Why do you ask?Evening: This could be why I'm living out of a paper bag.(Note: Yes, Shenny fans, there is a Santa Claus. He apparently comes in episode 604. Though from the kung fu grip Shane has on Jenny's wrists and the less than, um, French response to her kiss I'd say it's not the embrace you were hoping least not yet.)

These next few shots are also from episode 604 (don't ask me why they've skipped over 602 and 603). Take a look at who is present and accounted for. I see Shane, Jenny, Alice, Bette, Tina and Kit.They couldn't be THAT obvious and narrow our death list down to Helena and Tasha, could they? Still, that grin on Kit's face totally says, “Hallelujah, I get to live!”

Though, I guess anyone who includes not one, not two, but three shots of herself in the promo stills actually could be that obvious.Speaking of obvious, apparently the Showtime marketing department really loves their puns, about lesbian sex or otherwise. This came in the mail today.Yep, they're cookies. Yep, they're in a box that reads: “TV SO GOOD YOU COULD EAT IT UP.” Sadly, the “Weeds” cookie did not live up to its advertising. Though, I plan to revel in the totally unsubtle dirtiness of eating the ladies of TLW later today. What? You know you wish you could, too.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Bloody L

As information about the final season of “The L Word” and its online spinoff leak out, I have just one question. Why? Seriously, why? Why murder? Why prison? Why so cheesy? Why, why, why?

Now, at first I was hoping this whole killer thing was just a tease. As in, “Ha, ha. You thought someone would actually die? Nah, it's just killer material. Get it? Oh, stop cringing, we wanted to make sure you'd watch.” But no. We should be so lucky. Mama Chaiken is, indeed, deadly serious. Or, perhaps just dead crazy.

Yep, that's right. Someone gets killed. Someone gets blamed. And it all apparently happens in the first two minutes. I guess they're adhering to the quick-like-a-bandage approach for bad news. But, seriously, murder? I mean, I know TLW is a soap opera, but did they really have to resort to murder? What's next? Comas? Evil twins? Switched at birth?

It all makes my head hurt. While admittedly I enjoy watching crime procedurals, I never ever thought that the only my favorite lesbian drama would turn into one. A murder mystery is decidedly not how I wanted the final season of TLW to go down.

And, speaking of going down, can we please talk about that poster's tagline. Going down in history? Really? Really, Showtime? Of all the taglines you could have picked for a lesbian show and you pick “Going down in history?” So, it's because it's the last season before it's “history”? Or, wait, it's because lesbians “go down” on each other? God, you're so clever. Give your entire PR department a raise. They deserve it. Who else could think of something so genius? While we're on the topic of genius, my good friend StuntDouble wants to audition for your promotions department. Clearly, you should hire her immediately.


Heck, we haven't even touched the great disembodied head snogfest in the poster. So many questions, so few answers.

Yeah, I don't know either.

As if murder and bad puns for lesbian sex weren't enough, now comes potential details on the spin-off featuring Leisha Hailey, via The L Word Online. It will be “Possibly set in a prison. Possibly set in London.” Whaaaa? How did Alice get herself thrown into British jail? Wait, Helena is British. Does she kill Helena? In England? It's like Lesbian Clue. It was Alice in Trafalgar Square with the strap-on. As for it being in prison, I guess we all knew Mama Chaiken has a thing for jail house rocking of worlds thanks to the two behind-bars sex scenes we've been treated to over the years. But to take the whole spin-off to prison, well, that's just getting brazen with your fetish.

Speaking of Leisha, hat tip to tunedout47 for noticing a striking and unexpected resemblance. “Electric Youth” anyone?

Though, now that is calling it quits (yes, I know they say they haven't, but it's hard to survive without a staff and new content), where will this killer TLW spin-off launch, anyway? The whole thing is just...blerg. I tune in for hot women shagging stimulating lesbian discourse, not “CSI: Labia.”

Friday, November 21, 2008

My Weekend Crush

My thing for crime procedurals is no secret. I love them and unabashedly so. Over the years one show has grown on me with its combination of crime and, well, chemistry. No, not the chemistry of swirling beakers or spraying luminol. The chemistry of characters. “Bones” wasn't a favorite of mine when it started. The chemistry didn't quite click – yet. Still I watched, even if at first it was just to see what Angel was up to. But then I kept watching because it was impossible not to watch Emily Deschanel. We're talking bone structure for days, people. Over the past four seasons “Bones” and particularly Emily have made me a fan.

What I like about her intractable portrayal of Temperance Brennan is that while she is the queen of the squints, she gives Bones enough shared humanity and a healthy dose of heat to make her sympathetic. Also, it's cool that she knows martial arts. What? Smart gals who kick ass are a weakness. While “Bones” is a crime show, it's also a comedy with “Moonlighting”-worthy sexual tension. And it's that mix of light, dark and sexy that keeps us coming back week after week without wanting to slit our wrists or double bolt our doors afterward. (Seriously, I watched my first “Criminal Minds” recently and was so freaked out afterward I Googled home alarm systems.) Plus, seriously, Bones in librarian glasses? Hot. Bones not knowing that librarian glasses are hot? Double hot. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. I still hate Sweets, though. Bring back Zack!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Baby, you can drive my car

You know who we haven't heard from in a while? Why it's my Fake Girlfriend No. 2, Sarah Haskins. But don't worry, Sarah has been busy. She has been busy watching car commercials, that is. Car marketing toward women is ripe for parody. I mean, they named a car Crave and then made its ad about food. While I know they're hoping to attract women, I have a funny feeling it speaks more to stoners instead.

Still, the most ridiculous ads have to be the ones about getting all hot and bothered by your car. I mean, I like my car but I've never been turned on by my car. Turned on in my car, now that's another story. Ah, memories. Wait, what? You're still here. Well, go watch Sarah. I'm reminiscing.

Oh, Sarah. You can drive my car any day. Beep beep'm beep beep, yeah, indeed.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Naked Lady Monday...on Wednesday

In honor of Seattle's Naked Gal, and without regard to the actual day of the week, how about another edition of Naked Lady Monday? Yes, yes, I know it's Wednesday. But they don't call it “hump” day for nothing. Know what I mean? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Say no more. But, just because we're talking about nakedness and humping doesn't mean we can't remain dignified doing so. And I've always thought a nicely placed black & white classes up a joint, don't you?

Mia KirshnerA woman in bed covered only by rumpled sheets is the very definition of good morning.

Alicia KeysAlicia Keys, Man Ray. Man Ray, Alicia Keys.

Aisha TylerMy, what great...posture you have.

Mary-Louise ParkerThe fetal position is now my new favorite position.

Dita Von Teese & Scarlett JohanssonHello, sudden surge of lesbians taking ballroom dance lessons.

Jenny Shimizu & FriendNever mind size, it's Shimizu that really matters.

Naomi WattsNow that's my kind of bodice ripper.

Sara RamirezFine, she isn't naked. Somehow I don't think you mind.

Isabella Rossellini & Friend
Isabella Rossellini  & Friend
Obviously, they're playing charades and acting out the phrase “suit rack.” Ahem.