Monday, December 31, 2012

Bad Fae rising

Someone’s been a naughty, naughty, naughty little Fae. Just in time for the new year and new season of “Lost Girl,” we get a two-minute glimpse of the Big Bad named Bo. Something tells me this is going to be a fun season. I mean, who doesn’t love the bad girl? Also, as destructive as I’m sure it will be, think of all the hot, sweaty shenanigans Bad Bo and the good doctor can get into without the need to process or check in on each other’s feelings every few seconds. Yeah. Bring on the bad.

p.s. I'll be doing full "Lost Girl" recaps (not those short little SnapCaps) for AfterEllen in two weeks.

Friday, December 28, 2012

My Weekend Thanks

Right, so file this under better late than never. Here comes a flood of very belated, yet very heartfelt Indiegogo fundraising campaign thanks. First, again, thanks, to every single person who donated. I cannot ever truly express my full gratitude to you for your donations and thinking enough of the silly things I write to throw some of your hard-earned cash my way. Almost as belated as the thanks was my actual purchase of a new laptop, which is what this whole thing was about in the first place. But, as you can see, buy one I did. And a new Mac at that. My first Mac. Yeah, I’m one of those people now. Thank you again. To each and every one of you. And also to all of you who stop by to read and chat. You’ll never know truly how thankful I am. What follows is a list of all the names of you amazingly kind and generous folks who donated, as promised as one of my Indiegogo Perks. I’ve abbreviated your names for privacy. Please let me know if you have been left off, I will rectify it immediately. Alternately please let me know if you’d like to be left off, and ditto. Happy weekend, all.


Sally G, Karen W, Stephanie L, Ann M, Saba O, Catherine C, Ann W, Lisa R, Ned M, Jody W, Jen C, Amanda M, Virginie A, C. M, Dana P, Audrey Z, Kristens S, Stephanie H, June T, Megan D, Britt K, Upekha B, Trudy S, Cecilia S, Tracey B, Deborah M, Kel Z, Caitlin D, Jet & Deborah L, Sarah K, Beth E, Katherine M, Daniel J, Tiffany U, Maria D, Cindy S, Catherine B, Jodi K, Jonathan Y, Traci H, Krysti L, Kate C, Leah K, Veronica F, Daemon C, Jessica D, Derek L, Michelle R, Mel I, Elena D, Arron B, D.L.D, Deborah M, Morag G, Carol A, Kate M, Becky A & Bec S, Terrianne M, Linda K, Sally G, Geoffrey S, Susan W, Amanda M, Laurin K, Leanne O, Amy D, Claire H, Becky K, Deborah L, Jaie B, Elle M, Darienne N, Nichola W, Jaime Z, Verena F, Angela N, Morgane V, Megan W, Ying Z, Tish D, Heather D, Bianca S, Melissa B, Mari D, Kathryn M, Vlasta V, Julie K, & Jessica K, Linda O, Laura A, Chen D, Derek L, Kristin M, Peggy J, Mandy N, Louise K, Sarah D, Jasmine H, Jill E, Karly K, Alyssa S, Erin M, Jennifer B, Carol B, J.W, Sally J, Alex B, Sharon T, Joana R, Trish B, April A, Babs P, Stephanie L, Andrea H, Margaret C, Sabrina A, Jaclyn S, Debra S, Helen C, Kari W, Lynda M, Louise C, D. L, Kate L, Laura S, Sarah M, Jolie L, Katherine L, Andrea P, Carol J, J. B, Kendra E, Hannelore A, Marvourneen D, Stacy L, Jennifer R, Sarah W, Tai-En L, Meike H, Erin M, Kittie C, Jennifer H, Danielle T, Vicky S, Sanjuana S, Andrea S, Shelley K, Cindy E, Darla S, Alicia E, Aliza L, Daemon C, Daphne B, Malinda L, Suzanne I, Akosua K, Kerrie B, Tedi E, Keeylyme, Brandi M, Carmen P, Dana R, Lisa S, Calle, Gabrielle, Carol, Bonnie, Char, Tori, Mikki, Pamela, Manivone, Annette, Sara, Liz, Kathleen, C.S., Kate, Selena, Jemma, Peggy, Alice, Marisa, Katherine, Lilian, Amy, Katie, Nancy, Marisa, Liz, Xin, Dana, Marie, Heather, Carla, Rosalind, Alena, Sheila, Alice, Sarah, Ilise, Sarah, Kathryn, Khristen, Donna, Megan, Stephanie, Susan, Kathleen, Dena, Maya, Trash, Darla, Caroline, Kelly, Nat, Hester, Fiona, Lisa, Carol, Khue, Eileen, Carolina, Lois, Christina, Beatriz , JoAnne, Elizabeth, Lisa, Lauren, Celia, Elizabeth, Rhonda, Tammy, Juli, Owen, Tanja, Colleen, Jolaine, MaryAnn, Sophie, Mary, Pamela, Julie, Jessica, Maya, Lise, Akasha, Vibeke, Rhonda, Alice, Michael, Karen, Jeannette, Laura, Suzanne, Lindsay, Eli, Dora, Melisa, Danielle, Kim, Keely, Dorothy, Lorraine, Elena, Daphna, Carol, A, Deanna, Nicole, Erin, Heather, Lorraine, Paula, Christine, Susanne.

p.s. The rest of the perks are coming as we speak. Those getting a Twitter thanks, check my feed today. Those getting personalized thanks, check your inboxes soon. And if you’re expecting a postcard, it’s finally time to start waiting by the mailbox. I should have everything done by the end of January.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Subtext of the season

How these two aren't actually dating each other on this show when they stare at each other like this is one of the great mysteries of the universe. Also, why a show would air its season finale on Christmas Day is one of the other great mysteries of the universe. Really, TNT? Really? Way to make this tired recapper work over the holidays. By the way, read the final Subtext Recap of the season over at today tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Vacation Vixens: Julie & Jaime

Last day of vacation. But in my mind, I'm going to pretend I'm the lucky bastard at the end of this pool and it is the first day of vacation instead.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

All I want is you, kittens

May the spirit of the season wash over you to the joyous strains of tiny toy instruments. Merry Christmas and happy whatever you celebrate.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Vacation Contemplation

Before all the merry, a moment to reflect on what we want as a nation. We want twenty children, all children, to be able to wake up Christmas morning safe in their beds. Let's demand a plan.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Vacation Vixens: Helen & Jessica

Helen Mirren can get it. And is about to get it from Jessica Biel. If you want something, grab it.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Vacation Vixens: Naya & Jumpsuit

I can't stop staring at those two, shiny, bouncing, glorious…cellos. Yeah, cellos. Definitely not the contents of that skin-tight black peekaboo jumpsuit. Just cellos. Or something.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Vacation Vixens: Anna & Zoie

Can I wait for the new season of "Lost Girl?" No, I cannot. Doccubus now, Doccubus forever.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Vacation Vixens: Lena & Piper

Along with the requisite viewing of "Love Actually" each Christmas season, there is a requisite watching of "Imagine Me & You." Because nothing says happy holidays like screaming about wankers and daring people to love you.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Vacation Vixens: Meryl & Hillary

Right, so after a week of weak-ass blogs, I am now going to leave you for a week of vacation. I know, I know. Bad blogger, bad. So I will kick off my week of Vacation Vixens with two awesome women who are even more awesome together. And considering their baseline solo awesome levels, that is no small feat. But here are Hillary and Meryl shooting not just an adorable selfie, but an adorable selfie for a good cause. Gah. Talk amongst yourselves. I need to sit down. A selfless selfie. Happy make the world a better place, Monday to you all. Hillary/Streep 2016.

Friday, December 14, 2012

My Weekend Crushes

The Golden Globes and their nominations are, by and large, a joke. (No "Parks & Rec" and no "Mad Men?") But this year's hosts are pure, 100 percent golden. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Power of two

Well would you look at that. "Glee" doesn't ruin every lesbian thing it touches after all. "The Glee Project" contestant Dani Shay and Ali Stroker announced their relationship via a love song, or make that video, this week. Dani's new video for her single "One" features a mystery lady who turns out to be..drumroll, fellow "The Glee Project" contestant Ali. Ali confirmed the coupling on her official blog. Aw, that's pretty cute. Love and stuff. Shut up, I don't always have to be snarky just because it's my name.

p.s. Don't worry, I still intend to get plenty snarky with the actual "Glee" for, well, you know.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Retta rolls

Funny, pointed and a reminder that if you aren't watching "Parks & Recreation" this season, you are missing the incomparable, classical-music loving Retta. And also some damn fine television.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Dumb ways to blog

Right, so once you hear this song you will not be able to stop humming it for about a month. And, it is also somewhat apropos, because I have unfortunately discovered that my own dumb way to die is to try to work full-time, move someone in, prepare for my mother's impending four - yes, FOUR - week visit and try to write a daily blog. Something has to give, and in this case it is unfortunately the latter. I will do my darndest to post on the regular, but they may not be the longest things you have ever read. But, damn it, if they won't be catchy.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Not Grumpy, Just Monday

Please pardon the lack of a post this fine Monday. Moving was happening, which means writing was not. Please allow Grumpy Cat to turn that (internal) frown upside down. The external one is up to you.

Friday, December 07, 2012

My Weekend Crush

I was going to write about "Glee" today. And I still plan to, oh yes, I still plan to. Because that, that was uncalled for. But instead I felt like writing about something nice today. And, clearly, it has been a long day. But today we celebrate the real expression of "love is love." And that is the first same-sex couples in Washington state to receive their marriage licenses. Aren't they lovely. Isn't it just all so lovely. Also, don't these two look like Betty DeGeneres' long-lost sisters? Next comes the Supreme Court. I'm equal parts excited and nervous about them hearing the Prop. 8 and DOMA cases. May liberty believe in the blind power of love. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Sleeping Warrior awakens

This may be sacrilege, but I am going to discuss another ship on Gayzzoli day. Look, it's a big ocean. Plenty of room for all the ships. And sometimes they might even bump in the night. So, I'm finally all caught up on my "One Upon a Time." And I can honestly say I spent the entire last episode screaming, "KISS HER!" OK, maybe not the entire episode. But what seemed like the vast majority. The other half I spent going, "Wait, is Hook good now? Or bad? Or just there for the gay boys to have something pretty?" But every time Mulan and Aurora interacted? KISS HER! And when Emma and Regina finally reunited as Henry's two mommies? KISS HER! And when Regina didn't get invited to dinner but everyone damn else did? INVITE HER TO DINNER, THEN KISS HER! Now, I can't say I watch this show as religiously as other shows. Sometimes, like recently, two or three weeks stack up. But when I do watch it I certainly enjoy the fantasy and strong female characters. We just won't discuss some of the bad CGI. It'll be our little unspoken secret. That and how terrible at this whole acting thing the kid who plays Henry continues to be.

But, I digress. The reason I am really writing is to discuss what has to be the most unsubtextual subtext I've seen on TV this side of "Rizzoli & Isles." And instead of it being the way Lana Parrilla devours Jennifer Morrison with her eyes, it's every scene written between Mulan and Aurora. First, Aurora begs - yes, actually begs - Mulan to tie her up. Then Mulan promising to give Aurora back her heart. Then Mulan physically penetrating Aurora with said heart. And the dialogue before the heart scene:

Aurora: Have you done this before?
Mulan: No. [thrusts fist into Aurora]

Um. Yeah. I see what you did there, writers. I see. That's the least subtle lesbian sex metaphor since the time Willow and Tara did that spell where they literally drew an enormous "O" around themselves and then, um, achieved said O.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Help, I'm alive

OK, I admit it. I am pretty damn excited about the return of "Girls." Like super excited. Like super duper excited. Like eat cake on the beach at Coney Island excited. But with return subway fare and without a stolen purse. The funny thing about this show is I pretty much hated it at first. My notions were preconceived about youth and entitlement and angst. And they were pretty hard to like in the beginning. Also, come on, none of these New York kids is friends with a single people of color? Really? But, the thing is, for all of our artifices we tiny humans tend to be shockingly alike in ways large and small. And finding oneself, however long that takes, is pretty much something we all fumble through. The heady mix of bravado and confusion that somehow helps us stumble toward adulthood. It's exhilarating and excruciating to watch. And I pretty much love it. Because I too am an individual and I feel how I feel when I feel it and right now it's a Wednesday baby and I'm alive. But, thanks God I'm old enough now to know better than to wear a bright yellow mesh tank top. With age comes at least that much wisdom.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Naya night

In lieu of watching the upcoming episode of “Glee” – which to date I have received approximately 5 million emails and tweets about already because of the preview featuring that Brittany/Sam kiss – I have decided to just let Naya Rivera sing me in a sweet stupor instead. In the spirit of the season, I’ve also made peace with my loss of emotional investment in this show, what with the Version 2.0 Gleeks hogging all the spotlight in an apparent race to alternately annoy and bore me to death. But I am not and will never be bored of the sound of Naya singing to Brittany, me and/or the universe. So please, let the holly jolly take over you. And in self-imposed hiatus from that show I used to really look forward to, but now mostly half watch while I play Drop 7 on my iPhone, here is a little treat. Nothing soothes the savaged Brittana soul better than a gorgeous “Silent Night.” Bram sounds terrible anyway, like something you add to your morning cereal for fiber.

Monday, December 03, 2012

Closer to you

Is to so gay, too gay or just gay enough to post the new Tegan and Sara video on a Monday morning? Fuck it. You know why? Because it’s fabulous. The first time I heard this song I thought, oh, that’s good. But with each listen I become convinced that it’s not just good, not just great, but fucking fantastic. Like, I think this song may be the antidote to the Mondays. It’s deliriously catchy. And delightfully uplifting. Because not only does it make you want to tap your toes, it makes you actually feel lighter on them. Something about the delicious combination of a good hook and bouncy melody mixed with the intoxicating feeling of attraction makes you want to get, well, closer. Happy Monday, and I mean that sincerely.

p.s. Also, who can resist a good 80s middle school party vibe? No one, that’s goddamn who.

Friday, November 30, 2012

My Weekend Crush

First, they gave her a stutter. And made her shy. Then they said her stutter was fake. Then they made her goth…ish. Then they largely ignored her. Then they put her with the other Asian. Then they kept largely ignoring her. Then they did an episode where they joked about largely ignoring her. But she still was largely ignored. Then all the seniors finally graduated and it was going to be her time to shine. Then they made her a diva for a split second. Then they largely ignored her. Then they allowed her to sing lead on an Asian pop song. It ain’t easy being Jenna Ushkowitz. The artist otherwise known as Tina Cohen-Chang has been the perennial seat filler on “Glee.” Sure, she has moments to shine – and shine she did during them. “Tonight,” “True Colors,” “I Follow Rivers.” And then there was that hilarious time she was a vicious Asian vampire princess.

But here she is, in what we can only assume is her last full season on “Glee,” and instead of getting to finally take the spotlight she gets to play second fiddle again to Rachel, Puck, Finn & Quinn version 2.0s. And let me tell you, the younger generation pales in comparison. Like, Marley, get a clue – all of your regular clothes fit perfectly still. You were likeable for one episode when you wore that pageboy cap. But now your tired afterschool special eating disorder plotline makes me want to leave the room to make a sandwich and never come back. But back to the topic at hand. It would be nice for one of the very, very, very few Asian-American actresses playing main characters on primetime shows (hey there Sandra, Lucy, Maggie) to be more than glorified set dressing. But, alas, it seems not to be. Oh, and can we talk for a moment about making the one regular Asian cast member (now that “Other Asian” is gone) sing “Gangnam Style?” Sure, Jenna is Korean, but she was adopted by American parents when she was a few months old. So, um, no. Sigh. One day, Tina, one day your solo will come. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

My pretties

Who says I need a fucking theme? After staying up way, way, crazy way too late writing this week’s Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recap (check it out later today on AfterEllen, won’t you please), I just felt like posting pretty things. And I am in the process of some technological transition (more on that soon). So today all I could muster was this thought, if there must be a theme. Ladies, pretty. Pictures, good. It’s the best I can do. Please accept them with my sincerest apologies. But then, who needs complex thought with all this pretty?

Halle Berry
I have no idea what is happening in her personal life, but damn if that woman can’t fill out a T-shirt.

Vivienne Westwood & Christina Hendricks
Just a couple ginger gals hanging out and stuff.

Lucy Liu
Sure, I like her on “Elementary.” But, gosh, if I don’t miss the cop outfit from “Southland.”

Lena Headey
Because I can. Because it makes me feel good. That’s why.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

About Last Night

Right, so all of you kittens across the pond can just cross your arms and feel smug for a for being way ahead of me. But I’ve just fallen for Lucy Spraggan. The UK “X-Factor” contestant sang her way into you Brits hearts way back in August. But this Yank was slow to catch on. And in fact would still be oblivious if I hadn’t lazily clicked a video link I found while dawdling researching on Tumblr. See, procrastination pays off! Click play and lose your heart as well.

Things you should know. 1) She is gay and came out when she was 14. 2) She pulled out of “X-Factor” earlier this month due to illness. 3) She reminds me of clever a little gay Lily Allen. That last part is just my humble opinion. But, goodness, if her song didn’t put a smile on my face. And all I needed to see were her trainers (sneakers, to us Americans) to know she was definitely family. Adorable, hilarious, very talented family. Happy Wednesday. Now who needs a drink?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Welcome back, Gayzzoli

Happy We’re Not Gay, We Just Act That Way Day! Otherwise known as “Rizzoli & Isles” premiere day. Everyone’s favorite totally gay, not-gay show about LLBFFs Rizzoli & Isles returns tonight. And having seen the first two new episodes I can assure you there will be gayzzoli. In fact (look away spoilerphobes and skip to the end of the post), I can assure you that the first time we seen Jane and Maura on screen together you will scream, “COME ON.” Really. Really? Here’s a taste.

Yes. Together. In jammies. The morning after. Oh, show. How am I expected to respect the supposed maintext when the first thing you show me is this? Actually, I kind of love it. Sure, sure – subtext is not for everyone. And you have every right to be frustrated or despise it as an endless tease with no ultimate satisfaction. But me, I’m not in it for the payoff. I’m in it for the ridiculous chemistry and blatant subtext that makes me giggle like an idiot even though this is a show about gruesome and horrible murders. So, having seen the first two episodes of the mini five-episode winter season, I can say the gayzzoli rides again. And I’m giggling again. And our gals are totally gay in a non-gay way. Tweet you Big Gay Feelings during the show tonight using the #gayzzoli tag. And then Subtext Recaps will be back at each week on Thursday. When the gals look at each other like this, it is almost too easy.

I can only assume in this last photo they are in some sort of couples counseling because of a lingering disagreement over the proper way to squeeze the tube of toothepaste. Happy subtexting.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Total studs

The season of tryptophan-induced napping and workplace cookie snacking is now officially in full swing. Now I fully approve with indulging and enjoying to your little heart’s content. One of my particular weaknesses is homemade, still-warm snickerdoodles. But I am also in awe and respect of the hard-work and dedication it takes to mold one’s body into a piece of flesh-and-blood marble. So then let us all indulge and enjoy in a delicious treat of another variety today. Something scrumptious like the queer black female “athletes, artists, lovers” featured in Nick Knight’s V magazine spread Studs. So. Many. Abs. I must say, for a glossy fashion mag, this is a pretty damn progressive, gorgeously gender bendy photo essay. Not a bad way to start a Monday, not a bad way at all.

And look, there is video too!

p.s. I am not even kidding, but there is an additional SIXTEEN AND A HALF HOURS of uncut footage from the photoshoot on the V site, in case you still can’t get off the couch from all that turkey.

Friday, November 23, 2012

My Weekend Acrobatics

Now, I have crushed on Pink before. Because, well, how could I not? But, damn, if that women doesn’t keep keep bringing it with her live performances. In fact, I’m starting to think her actual aspirations are to run away and join the circus. Because those acrobatics are Cirque de Awesome. I half-watched the “American Music Awards” last weekend, and missed Pink’s performance all together because it was fairly awful otherwise. But big mistake on my part because holy feats of strength and balance. Oh, Pink, how we’ve missed you while you were away becoming one insanely hot mama. Thanks for all the muscles, I mean, music. Happy Weekend, all.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Food Coma Day

Today is the day Americans thankfully gorge themselves on turkey and all the fixings and then go sleep it off on the couch. Wherever you are today, may your day be filled with warmth, love and food. And may you eat so well this happens.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Queer fears

You know when you call something a mind fuck and really you mean, “That’s kind of fucked up. Let’s put it out my mind.”? Will if you, like me, are being forced against your will to watch this season of “American Horror Story” then you are among the few who can legitimately use the term “mind fuck” and mean it in almost the literal sense. Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk are having nonconsensual sex with my brain and I don’t like it one bit. As I have already mentioned, I am a huge wuss when it comes to scary things. I only watched the first few episodes of the first season of “American Horror Story,” but knew it was not for me with its ghouls and ghosts.

But this season, this season is less about the things that go bump in the dark and more about the things that go bump in your brain. The creators have gone for the non-too-subtle metaphor of making this season about psychological scares and setting it in, duh, a mental asylum. And, boy, have they done a terrifying job of bringing every gay person’s worst nightmares to life this season. Having your lover blackmailed into committing you to the institution just because you are both lesbians. Getting locked up against your will in the nut house just for being a lesbian. Being subjected to electroshock treatment just for being a lesbian. Enduring sexual behavior modification therapy just because you are a lesbian. And now (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS) finding out your girlfriend has been brutally murdered by the one seemingly rational man in the entire place and kept on ice (minus her teeth – shudder) for you to continue your sick ex-gay therapy on just because you are a lesbian? Welcome to your mind fuck, there is no lube.

I can’t say I enjoy this season of “American Horror Story,” because I don’t. I had to close my eyes during the whole (SPOILERS AGAIN) possibly Anne Frank lobotomy scene. And don’t get me started about what the hell they’ve done to poor Chloe Sevigny. But I will say that Ryan and Brad are doing an admirable job of making my every worst nightmare spring to life on screen to terrify and disgust me in equal measure. And while it is not, in any way shape or form, easy to watch, it is interesting. And it is interesting not just for the sheer WTFness of it, but because it does something few horror genre offerings do. It makes us sympathize with the lesbian character above pretty much all others. Sarah Paulson’s Lana is the proxy for the audience, and her anguish is the audience’s anguish. Granted, I’m never happy when a LGBT character has to endure terrible, horrible, very bad, no good things. But I do commend them for making Lana’s horrifying journey our journey. More so than the young man accused of killing his wife. More so than the French girl accused of killing her family. More so than the promiscuous young woman who gets her legs cut off. More than anyone, we’re stuck in this god-awful place with Lana. And we’re rooting for her, above all others, to make it out.

Now will she? Fuck if I know. Also, what the fuck is up with the aliens?

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tank Top Tuesday

Goodness, it has been forever since I’ve done a proper Tank Top Tuesday. In fact, I feel a little rusty. Do tank top made of coats of armor count? While they might not moves as freely as their cotton equivalent, they are infinitely more bad ass. So, yep, I’m counting them. Cotton, polyester, silk, armor. It’s all good in my book.

Lindsey Shaw
If you think you’re a good girlfriend, just realize Paige puts up with living ex-girlfriends, murdered ex-girlfriends, being framed for murder, being kidnapped, being almost murdered and the presence of a still rampant serial stalker/murderer and is still by Emily’s side. And you just bought your girlfriends flowers that once.

Brittany Snow
Her character in “Pitch Perfect” was so gay for Anna Kendrick’s character. So, so gay.

Chrissy Teigen
When I said she was a funny supermodel who loved to cook, I really wasn’t kidding.

Anna Silk
A leather tank top vest? Man, do I miss the “Lost Girl” costume department.

Danai Gurira
Andrea is an idiot for staying with the Governor instead of going with Michonne. Such an idiot.

Lucy Liu
I like “Elementary,” a lot, I just wish Johnny Lee Miller wasn’t such a fast mumbler.

Piper Perabo
I stopped watching “Covert Affairs.” Is Piper still cute? Oh who am I kidding, of course she is.

Jennifer Morrison
B-girl Emma Snow is giving me weird feelings. Good weird feelings.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Chick flick power

I wants it. I needs it. Gives it to me now. Now. Now. Sorry, sometimes I get a little impatient when presented with things I want. Things like two movies featuring three of my favorite actresses. Also one of my favorite actors. But, as is almost always the case with me, it’s all about the ladies. Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy AND Tina Fey? Yeah, we’re gonna need a bigger popcorn boat.

First, Sandra and Melissa in “The Heat.”

This is your friendly neighborhood odd-couple female buddy cop movie. Which in and of itself is awesome. Not because of the formula, necessarily – which is well tread. But that it’s two women instead of the standard two men. Thank you, “Bridesmaids.” And then there’s the matter of the two very, very funny women who make even middling material (I’m talking to you “Miss Congeniality” and “Mike & Molly” somewhat enjoyable).

Then there’s Tina and Paul Rudd in “Admission.”

Now, it too seems to follow a formula, though this time the rom-com one. But it has enough of an interesting twist – possible long-lost son given up for adoption – to make it more than your by the numbers meet cute, overcome obstacle, fall in love flick. Plus, it’s pretty hard to any human to resist the combo of Tina and Paul together. Damn near impossible, actually.

Is it next spring yet?

Friday, November 16, 2012

My Weekend Lost Girl

ZOMG. I mean it, ZOMG. Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss something until you get a reminder that it is coming back. And, in this case, it’s a Bo-sized reminder of epically sexy proportions. “Lost Girl” returns Jan. 6 to Shaowcase in Canada (and a week and a day later, Jan. 14 on Syfy in the US). Oh, and here is your first look at Lauren in Season 3. D I mention ZOMG?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

SGALGG: Shine Bright Like a Diamond

Right. So I’m normally not the kind of gal to go for those girl-on-girl exploity kind of photoshoots that run in fashion and lad mags. But it has been a long week and there is no shame in just enjoying the visual smorgasbord that happens when Rihanna and Kate Moss mingle for the cameras for V magazine. Now, I like Rihanna a lot – despite her seeming forgiveness of the unforgiveable Chris Brown. And Kate Moss, well, she reminds me of the 90s and those were generally pretty good for me. So, yeah. Hey, I never said this place was exclusively highbrow. And you know you love the smut, kittens. You love it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A tall glass of Pinoe

Sports and gay ladies go together like the peanut butter and jelly of lesbianism. Sure, not all lesbians and bisexual women play softball – or any sport for that matter. I include myself in the decidedly “non-sporty” category. It’s all I can do to walk and breathe at the same time some days. But if you don’t know at least one sporty dyke then you should go hang out by a grassy sports field any given Sunday. They are there. Trust me. So the fact that we still have little more than a handful of high-profile out ladies in professional sports is, to put it mildly, perplexing. Sure, there is Martina. And Billy Jean. Also France’s Amélie Mauresmo, Norway’s Gro Hammerseng, Australia’s Natalie Cook, Sweden’s Jessica Landström. And others, of course. But we always want more because we know they’re out there – playing their big gay hearts out.

So that’s why a Megan Rapinoe is so special. Well, really, she’s special for a lot of reasons – the hair, the personality, the ass-kicking soccer skills. But she’s also an athlete who came out at the height of her success, right before she stepped on the grandest stage of all – the Olympics. Not late in her career, not after her career was over. So then we could celebrate with her as an out and proud gay athlete as they put that gold medal around her neck. It was as close to winning a gold medal as I’ll ever come, that’s for sure.

Megan credits coming out with helping her play her best at the Olympics. She said of coming out: “I think it was the best decision I ever made. To be able to go into such an important event like that being a wide open book and just saying this is who I am, I’m damn proud of it and hopefully you are too.”

So over the weekend Megan was deservedly awarded the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Board of Directors Award.

And if that doesn’t convince you to become a Pinoe superfan, maybe Tom Hanks screaming “Megan Rapinoe! Megan Rapinoe!” will. And, of course, if all else fails there’s always The Hair.

Thanks, Megan. And, as always, love The Hair.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Truth is a thing

OK, OK, one very last gloat. Because a week ago we did something awesome. Which then prompted Rachel Maddow to something awesome. Yeah, the truth hurts – and is awesome.

Monday, November 12, 2012

What Glee?

Oh, “Glee.” What I once equated with a squeal and a joyous giggle, now more often elicits a sigh and shoulder shrug. The thing about this show, the thing about all shows, is that the stories only matter if we believe in them. TV is the tinkerbell of mediums. It only lives when we clap. But when the clapping stops, shows stop. That's how it works. Even the most brilliant TV (My So-Called Life, Firefly, Wonderfalls) can't live without fans.

So, when a show – or its creator – goes out of its way to alienate parts of its fanbase, well, that'’ a problem. So, I ask you, how do we solve a problem like Ryan Murphy? Ryan Murphy is a little bit genius at creating TV shows that make us care, at least at first. Popular, Nip/Tuck, Glee. Come on, pretty awesome. But then being a little bit genius is sort of like being a little bit pregnant. It tends to be all or nothing proposition.

The best stories come alive, both off the page an on the screen. The characters stop feeling like characters and start feeling like people. So then a good rule of thumb when it comes to writing characters is how readers react to them. Not necessarily whether a character is liked or not – that’s just taste and personality. But instead our reaction to their actions. If a character does something we don't like, do we get mad at the character or do we get mad at the writer? If it’s the latter that's a Houston we have a problem.

On “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” when Willow got – quite literally – high off magic and Tara broke up with her, no one called for Joss Whedon’s head. That felt like horrible, terrible, so very sad real life (minus the mystical powers part). On “Modern Family,” no one gets mad at Steven Levitan for letting Phil embarrass his children/wife/father-in-law week after week. That feels like the dorky dad in all of our lives.

But on, “Glee,” we rarely blame the characters for their own bad behavior. We blame Ryan Murphy. (Well, minus maybe Finn. We blame Finn and Ryan Murphy.) Finn outs Santana then song assaults her to having fun about it and everyone hugs & sings Katy Perry afterward. RYAN MURPHY! After sleeping together for three years Santana & Brittany continue to only give each other deep, meaningful hugs on camera. RYAN MURPHY! Finn is the requisite white male hero, yet continues to have to relearn lessons he already learned in the first season. RYAN MURPHY!

For lesbian TV viewers, it is an all-too familiar formula. A show we begin breathlessly watching filled with characters we love and actors we respect that somehow veers off course and becomes a frequent kicking bag. Just replace our current cries of RYAN MURPHY with our past cries of ILENE CHAIKEN and you get the picture. We can all tell when the strings on the marionette start to show. And that is one of the worst sins of storytelling – not letting your stories come alive.

But now, more than having just shortcomings in storytelling, “Glee” seems to be taking on a decidedly ungleeful attitude toward its lesbian and bisexual fans. The aforementioned Mr. Murphy in fact seems to be actively trolling lesbian fandom with tweets like this.

And, yes, I saw the “Wedding of the Year” tweet, too.

Now, I understand that constant negativity and hateful feedback suck. Anyone who shares their opinions or art with the public is subject to adoration and wrath in equal measure. And, of course, people should not be harassed or bullied for their work. There is a difference between haranguing and respectful disagreement. But it confounds me when storytellers get angry at people who care deeply about the characters they created for them to care about. Yes, a lot of Glee’s gay women fans are annoyed with the show for its inconsistencies. But why shouldn’t they be allowed to express that frustrations? Am I thankful “Glee” allowed Santana and Brittany to exist and fall in love and be a couple? God, yes. So much yes. They are lovely. They are important. But that doesn’t mean all future treatment of those characters or other storylines must be worshipped. Also, don’t get me started on the idea that characters should somehow be punished for fan reactions. Do writers really “give up” on storylines because of fans? Shouldn’t they only give up on storylines because the story doesn’t work?

Like I was saying – oh, “Glee.”

Friday, November 09, 2012

My Weekend Crush

Kittens, sweet sweet kittens. You’ve indulged my politicking while I pontificated on that whole hopey changey lady power yay gay stuff. So now, after a sufficient period of shameless revelry, I feel you deserve a treat. Something sweet and savory. Something hot and tasty. Something like a swimsuit model. Yeah, I told you it was a treat. Now, I’m not normally the type to go for swimsuit models. Nothing against them, bless them and their sun-kissed bodies. But it’s just that all we normally learn about their personalities could fit on the back of a G-string. But Chrissy Teigen, well, she’s different. She’s got so much personality, you almost forget she’s a swimsuit model. Well, almost.

Many people probably know her as John Legend’s fiancé, which she is. Or they could know her from her multiple appearances in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which she did. But me, me I know her from The Tweeter Machines. I started following Chrissy on Twitter after seeing some of her very funny posts retweeted in my feed. And I thought, who is this lady? Well, it turns out she’s a lot of things. She’s hot, duh. But she’s also funny, smart, progressive, candid and unwilling to suffer fools who think just because she’s a model she should shut up and be pretty. She won’t be cowed and remains delightfully unfiltered. Also, she’s a foodie, who has her own food blog and went to cooking school. And loves to drunk tweet. Yeah, I know. No wonder John snapped her up. In fact, she’s the kind of woman who makes me respect the person she is with even more because they had the good taste to be with her. But don’t take my word for it. Take hers.

All that and she isn’t half bad to look at. Happy weekend, all.