Short Lesbians

Did you know you can watch Maya Hawke and Victoria Pedretti be gay together for 18 minutes? Yeah, neither did. But thankfully The Lesbian Internet graciously alerted me to this fact. The actors appear in the short film “The Non-Actor,” which is available to stream now on Mubi – whatever that is.

The short follows Elliot (Pedretti) who is staying with her ex’s new girlfriend Bella (Hawke) while attending a medical trial for her recent, unexplained loss of hearing. Per Letterboxd: “As she reconfigures her relationship with her (sonic) environment and herself, an intimate connection sparks between the two women.”

That spark better include smoochies is all I’m saying. So, does anyone subscribe to Mubi? Is it worth the $14.99(!) a month? Or, more likely, activating the 7-day free trial? Inquiring lesbian minds need to know. So far, I like the unsolicited knee pat. But, yeah, imma need some smoochies to make giving another site all my contact information seem worth it.

Music Monday: Kacey Smash Edition

Now, you know I love Kacey Musgraves (hello, she’s touring with King Princess AND MUNA! Did I buy tickets immediately? YES I DID.), and you know the world loves a good breakup album. (Like, isn’t that Olivia Rodrigo’s like whole deal – teen breakup angst/anger?) Anyway, Kacey has said her new alum “Star-Crossed” was inspired by her divorce. And its first single “Simple Times” is not only a fun bop, it’s video is a fun mini revenge movie. Part “Clueless,” part “Kill Bill,” part less lethal “Jawbreakers,” the movie has Kacey and a trio of friends arm themselves with medieval weaponry and chainmail masks. Her high-impact friends include “Haunting of Bly Manor” star Victoria Pedretti (Dani a.k.a. The Gay Au Pair), rapper Princess Nokia and RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Symone – plus there’s a cameo by their supplier/comedian Megan Stalter. All in all, a good time was had by all except those who work in the Bridal Industrial Complex. I mean, who doesn’t like watching shit get smashed? Happy Monday, kittens.

The Romancing of Bly Manor

I was lucky enough to get screeners for both "Ammonite," which opened in limited release in whatever movie theaters are actually open last weekend, and “Happiest Season,” which starts streaming on Hulu next week. They are very (very, very, very, very) different movies. And while I have some issues with both, I will say that both movies are proving my theory that lesbians and queer women are doing their level best to rescue 2020. Now, I can’t offer a full review on “Ammonite” until closer to its Dec. 4 video-on-demand release, per an embargo. And I’ll be posting a full review of “Happiest Season” next week.

Now, this isn’t about either “Ammonite” or “Happiest Season,” but it is about yet another worthy piece of lesbian media that came out this year, “The Haunting of Bly Manor.” While I had issues (there they are again) with the ending of the series, I enjoyed its moody build-up. But to have a bit of fun with the ghost story instead, here’s a reminder of the power of editing and music. This is some “Imagine Me & You” level cute for a story with this many terrible deaths. Please enjoy “Bly Manor” the rom-com, by video editor extraordinaire Foomatic.

Lesbian Storytime

So, over the last few weeks we’ve watched not one, but two high-profile new TV shows with queer female couples at their center. I’m talking about “Ratched” and “The Haunting of Bly Manor,” both on Netflix. Now, I can’t say either are necessarily great. I actually have pretty significant issues with both shows. But I am still glad I watched them both. The fact that we have two popular shows highlighting women in relationships with other women who aren’t just side characters but the main characters remains thrilling. Think back to the days when you waited for The Very Special Lesbian Episode to happen once every year or show, and you can’t help but appreciate the progress we’ve made.

Hands down the best thing about “Ratched” was getting to watch two out queer women play two queer women on screen. I can’t imagine what it must feel like, after a full career already, to be able to express one’s sexual orientation authentically on screen. Truly, it’s the strongest argument for watching “Ratched.” It’s other saving grave, amid the jumbled narrative and whiplash character development, is the candy apple beauty of the show’s costume and set design. Everything feels supersaturated and the colors pop off screen. And, of course, Sarah Paulson and Cynthia Nixon, as well as the rest of the cast, do their level best with the material they’ve been given. If only it lived up to their talent.

As for “The Haunting of Bly Manor,” hands down the best thing about the show is getting to finally add another adorable lesbian florist to our official canon. British actress Amelia Eve’s Jamie is like the melancholy yin to the upbeat yang of fellow British actress Lena Headey’s Luce. They make lovely green-thumbed lesbian bookends. But what I didn’t love about the series was [MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW AHEAD. MAJOR.] how it romanticized the Dead Lesbian Trope to a ghostly degree. Yes, Jamie and Dani’s love story was beautiful and haunting. And if we were only in it for another pretty sad story that would be fine. But, alas, we are still not quite at the point where our representation is so prevalent that we have the luxury of complete choice. Instead, we keep seeing the same often damaging stories arise, time and time again. Sadness, while part of life, shouldn’t be our dominant narrative on screen. Also, while I am complaining, I wasn’t thrilled that the chief haunting and reason for the cursed home is a feud between two sisters, complete with jealousy and vengefulness. Otherwise, it was a fairly stylish if at times messy haunted house story, with lesbians at its very center. And I do take heart that every generation of queer women has its tragic romance that it must fall in love with. I appreciate that “The Haunting of Bly Manor” will be that story for a whole new generation.