Gender Fuck Thursday: Gray Days Edition

I’ve been in a rather gray mood this week. The ridiculous realities of our political landscape and cultural discourse tend have a way of bringing a gal down. But I am determined to turn that frown upside down. Gray skies are gonna clear up and all. So let’s celebrate gray in all its glory. Sure, the black suit gets all the formal occasions. But a nice gray suit can really cheer a gal up when worn on the right gal. Case in point, these ladies. See, things are looking better already.

Emma Watson

Hermione went to college and joined the Newsboys Club.

Isabella Rossellini

I love a woman who ages with dignity, and in a suit.

Janelle Monae

She’s easy breezy and then some.

Ellen DeGeneres

So is Ellen, but we knew that already.

Karen Gillan

Sept. 1, I’ll be there.

Evan Rachel Wood

Vests count too. Possibly double. Possibly triple with those suspenders – and hair.

Rashida Jones

I’ve decided to adopt Ann Perkins’ description of Leslie Knope as my new personal mantra: “She’s a little doofy, but she’s sweet.”

Scarlett Johansson

She makes a rather dapper Buster Keaton. Who knew?

Angie Harmon

I miss Det. Sexy McBadass and her Ponytail of Righteous Justice.

Gender Fuck Thursday

I will fully admit to not understanding the whole mustache meme. What’s that all about? Why does everyone have a big black fake Mr. Pringles stache all of a sudden? Kid these days. I don’t really get it. Of course, my father had a full mustache and beard for basically all of his life, so maybe I just associate it with dad things and not the apparent old-timey whimsy it’s supposed to imply. Or maybe I’m just old curmudgeony, instead of timey. What can I say, I’m just a sucker for some soft, smooth skin. Still, on Catherine Deneuve I will accept any and all facial hair. And a bowler. And a bowtie. And cufflinks. Sweet fancy Moses, I love cufflinks. Though, other than Catherine, staches just aren’t my jam. (That is what the youths are calling it, no?) I dunno. But I do know that while we may have to agree to disagree on fake facial hair, I hope we can all agree that a lady in menswear will never go out of style. Plus, she has the added bonus of never having to worry about – shall we say – unfortunate mustache tickle. And, to make amends for dissing the old-timey mustache, how about some old-timey black and white gender fuck.

[Hat tip, Jennifer for the delightful Deneuve photo above.]

Isabella RosselliniI used to have a real thing for double-breasted suits. I mean, the name alone.

Zoe SaldanaShoulder pads, on the other hand, I never had a thing for. But all of a sudden I don’t mind so much.

Anne HathawayProper tailoring is critical to allow movement. Yay, tailoring.

Milla JovovichNot everyone can pull off all white. Luckily Milla is not everyone.

Vanessa ParadisHowever, everyone should have a lounging around tuxedo. It should be, like, a rule.

Gemma ArtertonSeriously, I think this lounging around tuxedo rule could be revolutionary.

Monica BellucciAdmit it, most of your wildest dreams aren’t nearly this delicious.

Jessie Matthews, “Just a Girl” (1935)Now this kind of old-timey has my full endorsement.

Naked Lady Monday...on Wednesday

In honor of Seattle's Naked Gal, and without regard to the actual day of the week, how about another edition of Naked Lady Monday? Yes, yes, I know it's Wednesday. But they don't call it “hump” day for nothing. Know what I mean? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Say no more. But, just because we're talking about nakedness and humping doesn't mean we can't remain dignified doing so. And I've always thought a nicely placed black & white classes up a joint, don't you?

Mia KirshnerA woman in bed covered only by rumpled sheets is the very definition of good morning.

Alicia KeysAlicia Keys, Man Ray. Man Ray, Alicia Keys.

Aisha TylerMy, what great...posture you have.

Mary-Louise ParkerThe fetal position is now my new favorite position.

Dita Von Teese & Scarlett JohanssonHello, sudden surge of lesbians taking ballroom dance lessons.

Jenny Shimizu & FriendNever mind size, it's Shimizu that really matters.

Naomi WattsNow that's my kind of bodice ripper.

Sara RamirezFine, she isn't naked. Somehow I don't think you mind.

Isabella Rossellini & Friend

Obviously, they're playing charades and acting out the phrase “suit rack.” Ahem.

The androgynous zone

My Tilda Swinton love has grown so exponentially since she won the Oscar, I almost wish I hadn’t Weekend Crushed her already so I could gush some more. But what I admire about her most is that she is a true original. In an industry filled with fake everything -- breasts, tans, noses, personalities -- she is authentically herself. And her authentic self looks fucking hot in a suit. Forget a spoon full of sugar, it’s a big scoop of androgyny that really helps the medicine go down. And by medicine, I mean Wednesday. And by go down, I mean…uhm, well. Enjoy.

And just because a free mind is a terrible thing to waste: