Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Wedding of a Decade

Well, how about one last very good thing to end this very insane year? Just in time to become a contender for Lesbian Wedding of the Decade, USWNT stars Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris got married. The couple, who has been dating since the basically the start of the decade closed it out by making Krashlyn official. Of course, at the start of this decade they couldn’t have made it official, because same-sex couples weren’t able to legally marry. Now that’s progress. And their wedding was attended by a bunch of their out teammate and former teammates (Hey, Megan! Hey, Abby!), looking mighty gay. And that’s also progress. So, mazel tov to the happy couple.

p.s. Did I mention there was rainbow wedding cake? Because there was rainbow wedding cake.

p.p.s. Lesbian Wedding of the Decade, or Lesbian Royal Wedding of the Decade?

Monday, December 30, 2019

Dana Lives!

Well, damn. If this isn’t just the sweetest damn thing. Last night’s “The L Word: Generation Q” episode, saw the ladies celebrate the opening of Shane’s new bar, which has been named Dana’s. As I said in my Pre-L, it was a touching bit of continuity that made my heart ache in the best way possible.

And then, after the episode aired, the O.G. TLW ladies shared their little behind-the-scenes secret. Erin Daniels herself showed up on set the day of filming to surprise them. Yes, lesbians, Dana Fairbanks lives! No matter how much we groused – and rightfully so – about this show while it was on, the affection we feel for these characters cannot be denied. “The L Word” was never perfect, but it did create some enduring characters who perfectly captured our hearts at a time when hardly anyone else even bothered to tell our stories.

So, seeing them together as their old selves – a little older and perhaps not always wiser but still gloriously themselves – well, it just feels good. Now, let’s all pretend Dana never died and then never showed up magically in a waterfall. I mean, for fuck’s sake, that’s really a thing that happened on this show, and yet we’re this thrilled to see these women together again. Now that, that’s the power of “The L Word.”

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Pre-L: LA Times

Damn, Christmas is over and everyone is horny for the New Year. Or, you know, each other. Yes, Virginia, there are more “The L Word: Generation Q” screeners which means more Pre-Ls for you. This week, buckle in because everyone wants to get some.

As a result, this week’s Pre-L is particularly spoilery. So if you wanna live it in real time, come back after the episode airs on Sunday. And if you want to know the dirty dirty right now, well come sit closer to me. Also, you know, fairly NSFW per usual.

1) There’s a penis joke in here somewhere, I swear.

2) Pausing here answers so many questions.

3) In all honesty, this touching bit of continuity makes my heart ache in the best way possible.

4) I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!

5) There’s a “My Precious” joke in here somewhere, I swear.

6) This is your face. This is your face on drugs. Fuck, we should all be doing more drugs.

7) Were we ever that young?

8) Being an adult means knowing you should always skip the tequila shots.

9) It’s stupid how much I love seeing the three of them together.

10) It still feels almost like a dream that we can legally get married.

11) Not being an adult means thinking free drinks means drink freely.

12) I can’t be the only one who assumed Alice had a daytime talk show, right?

13) When you have a really terrible idea.

14) When you have an even worse idea.

15) When you actually have a really good idea.

16) Admit it…

…Threesome look hot…

…But are actually logistical nightmares.

17) I mean as trolls go, this is pretty epic.

18) Whoa. Uh, do not get divorced, Shane.

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Gender Fuck Thursday: Co-Stars Edition

Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas? How about a bunch of beautiful women in suits? I know, I know. I shouldn’t have. But what can I say, I’m a giver.

Now, admittedly, sometimes I struggle for a theme when it comes to Gender Fuck Thursday because how many ways can you say, “Hey, this is hot.” But thirst traps gotta thirst trap. So this holiday movie season let’s celebrate the women starring on the big screen who decided to suit up on the red carpet or elsewhere while promoting their new films. But more than just that, it’s multiple actresses, from the same movie, trying to out suit each other. In short, it’s a glorious gift of co-stars suiting-off. And I hope may many, many more actresses follow suit, so to speak.

Ella Balinska & Naomi Scott, Charlie’s Angels

The first photo looks pre-prom, this second one after prom. Way after.

Kristen Stewart, Charlie’s Angels

Not to be outdone, K-Stew keeps it casual instead.

Saoirse Ronan & Emma Watson, Little Women

Saoirse looks like a fancy old-timey street urchin, whereas Emma just looks fancy.

Evan Rachel Wood & Kristen Bell, Frozen 2

See, now this, this is why they should have made someone in “Frozen 2” a lesbian.

Nicole Kidman,Margot Robbie&Charlize Theron, Bombshell

This almost makes me want to watch Fox News. Kidding, kidding. But I will watch Nicole, Margot and Charlize pretend to work for Fox News. Probably. My point is, I really hate Fox News.

p.s. I am pretty sure Nicole and Charlize showing up at the "Bombshell" premiere like this means they are dating.

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry Happy

Here is wishing a very, very, very Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! This year, please enjoy the truly zany “Pee Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special.” I can’t think of a better way to celebrate the season than with this campy ridiculous that features, among others, k.d. lang, Oprah, Grace Jones, Charo, Whoopi Goldberg, Joan River and Zsa Zsa Gabor. It’s also available on Netflix if you want a higher definition version. Either way, settle in, pour yourself a hot toddy and/or bowl of magic mushrooms and settle in for a long winter’s weirdness.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

O Brandi Night

I am not a religious person. I’m not terribly spiritual either. But I do love me some Christmas music. And I have a soft spot for Christmas hymns. And I have an even softer spot for Christmas hymns sung by the incomparable Brandi Carlile. May you have a silent and beautiful Christmas Eve to all who celebrate, and enjoy a song sung beautifully for all those who do not.

Monday, December 23, 2019

Merry Briemas

’Twas the night before the night before Christmas, when all through the house lots of lesbians were stirring, but not over a mouse. No, we were stirring because Brie Larson showed up on Jimmy Kimmel last week to guest host. And, uh, her outfits were good. Like, uh, really, really good. Like happy early Christmas, queer ladies.

Because she came out first in this, when practicing her guest hosting (she comes out at around the 2:40 mark).

And then did her actual guest hosting in this. Which, uh, boobs. Yeah, boobs.

So, the only proper way to interpret all of this is that Brie Larson loves us and wants us to be happy for the holidays. Now suddenly I feel like taking that long winter’s nap, a.k.a. I’ll be in my bunk.

Friday, December 20, 2019

Pre-L: Lost Love

So, how about that explanation for who killed Jenny? Like, imma need a tad more context. Did she get blind drunk and drown? Did she take pills and drown? Did Sounder drown her and make it look like a suicide? An answer that leaves so many more questions.

Get ready for another one this week when we learn…wait for it…and spoilers…what broke up Bette and Tina. Don’t come for me, Tibette Nation. I am just the messenger. And I’ve never driver a tractor, with or without stolen billboards attached. So onto the Pre-L. As always, spoilery stuff ahead.

1) Don’t worry, we aren’t setting up a three-way. Probably.

2) From creator of OurChart to curator of fridge art.

3) Texting Straight Bette Porter to say she’s KHive4Lyfe.

4) Don’t shit where you just bought a bar isn’t catchy, but it is accurate.

5) Someone can drop more than just F-bombs.

6) When the House votes to impeach.

7) Herrrrre’s Meeeeegan!

8) Hot Priest, but for lesbians.

9) Alice is having a real Talking Heads, “How did I get here?” moment.

10) I am all for getting some, but is that on the shared couch?

11) When you have to “Nope, White People Nonsense” your dad.

12) The calm before the Alpha Bette storm.

13) I don’t mean to be a narc, but that girl is still riding a stolen bike.

14) Well, they were both looking very Shane today. So...

15) The calm before another kind of Alpha Bette storm.