Monday, November 29, 2021

Music Monday: JoJo Forever

I’m honestly not entirely clear who won “Dancing With the Stars.” I just know JoJo Siwa didn’t win. And, honestly, that’s a shame. No disrespect to whomever the winner was (again, I hardly know who most of the contestants are). But JoJo has radiated a certain kind of joy and positivity, while still being vulnerable and honest. As the first same-sex couple to perform on the show in now its 30th season, she made that most important of impacts – representation. Also, the girl can dance. And that Prince Charming number? Please, every queer gal had a little swoon at that fairytale moment. So congratulations, JoJo. Thanks for being the first, and may there be so many more to come. Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. The way she just full-out sings “Born This Way” while dancing? Yeah, the kids are all right.

Friday, November 26, 2021

My Weekend Crush

I’ve never been to an Adele concert. But, if I’m lucky enough to score tickets one of these days, I want to be the one dancing in the stands like Emma Thompson at the special “An Audience With Adele” special you kittens across the pond were able to watch over the weekend. As a crass American, I don’t have access to the whole show. But I know Emma dancing her ass off is the spiritual energy I want to bring into this holiday weekend. I say spiritual, because after everything I’ve consumed this week the only dancing I’m doing is from the couch to the refrigerators. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. I know Emma’s dancing culminated with her reuniting Adele with her childhood inspiration and English teacher. So, in case you also want a good cry with to come after your wild dancing, enjoy.

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Happy Thanksgiving, Kittens

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate! Now, the Thanksgiving movie is the rare bird among holiday movies (see what I did there, bird). But there are some notable ones. And the best ones always have a gay undercurrent. Hello, “Home for the Holidays” directed by Jodie freaking Foster. I rest my case. But lest we forget in 2000 the universe have us “What’s Cooking?” While not perhaps a great movie, it was a great attempt at a multicultural framing of a traditional American holiday. And did I mention that Kyra Segdwick and Julianna Margulies play LESBIAN LOVERS? They’re pregnant of course, because this was a movie with lesbians in it from the early 2000s. I forgot how, uh, suggestive that split-second turkey stuffing scene was. And people say Julianna doesn’t make a convincing lesbian on “The Morning Show.” As a non-watcher, I can’t judge (well, except for some well-edited clips, ahem). But 21 years ago, I think she earned her honorary toaster oven. I mean, obviously, lose the bandana. But otherwise, passable. Happy turkey (and other things) stuffing day, all.

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

A Second Taste

Straight women have Stanley Tucci slurping pasta all over the Italian countryside. Gay women have Padma Laksmi exploring the culinary diversity of America. And as much as we all love the Tucci, Padma tucking in the food that actually inspired Thanksgiving dinner, well, that’s like Christmas came early for me. The first series was a fascinating look into America’s culinary heritage, one that is built like the rest of this country on the backs of immigrants and their ability to mesh their unique traditions into the fabric of our nation — whether some choose to acknowledge that heritage or not. But this is our country’s history, and if nothing else it certainly tastes delicious.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Tank Top Tuesday: Vasquez Edition

Someone mentioned Private Vasquez from the 1986 sequel “Aliens” as one of the best (and only) butch female representations in mainstream blockbusters. And you know what, 35 years later and it’s unfortunately still genuinely hard to think of positive butch female character from major studio productions. But Vasquez, well, she was definitely and unapologetically butch. And, very very hot. Plus, if you stop the video 2 seconds before the finish, she even gets a happy ending.

p.s. The hot tank top action, well, that’s my gift to you at the start of this holiday season.

Monday, November 22, 2021

Music Monday: MUNA Redux

I wonder if watching MUNA make their national television debut on “The Late Late Show with James Corden” for Gen Z queer women today is like what it felt like watching the Indigo Girls make their national television debut on “Late Night With David Letterman” for this Gen Xer back in 1989. Truly, no matter the era or the age, it’s a thrill to see artists who sing about us as LGBTQ+ people and our loves find a national stage. Plus, love the major gay prom vibes. Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, November 19, 2021

My Weekend Crush

I miss “Gentleman Jack.” Like, a lot. Like, hurry up already and give us our second season already a lot. I know I said this already, but I need that jolt of pure live-action lesbian period piece romance. I know I’ve grumbled in the past about movies only giving us lesbian period dramas. But lesbian period romance is something different. This is the swoony kissing on mountaintops stuff of our dreams. Never mind that in real life Anne Lister was definitely a Tory and interested only in the concerns of the privileged land-owning aristocracy. In make-believe heaven she’s the romantic lead of our olden times dreams. Fine, maybe without that hair. But still. That Gentleman, she’s a keeper. And, of course, so is that rainbow cardigan on Suranne Jones. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. I am also still impatiently waiting my chance to finally see Suranne play a modern lesbian. Hurry up and release “Vigil” across the pond so us American yokels can watch too.

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Gender Fuck Thursday: Suits & More Suits

I can’t believe there are only 44 days left in 2021. Like it seems forever ago since January 1, but then how can it almost be 2022 already? Can you believe that fetid orange turd was still president at the start of this year? And that somehow we’re STILL in a damn pandemic? I can’t wrap my mind around any of it. So instead of even trying, I’m going to look at beautiful women in beautiful suits. Pinstripe. Solids. Tweeds. With vests. Without vests. Yes, yes, also yes and again yes. Now who cares about the endless march of time and relentless onslaught of daily life? I mentioned some of the suites are pinstripe, right?

Brandi Carlile

Brandi doesn’t have any tour dates next year near me yet and I’m rather cross about it. But not cross enough to ignore her lovely brown grandpa suit here.

Janelle Monae

Pinstripes and polka dots? With her impeccable Suit Cred anything is acceptable.

America Ferrera

Has America played a lesbian before? Because she had the way we sit down pat.

Regina King

I had a real double-breasted suit thing when I was younger, and now that I think about it I had great taste back then.

Aubrey Plaza

Honestly, I hate these formal shorts. But then I love tweed. And I still think Abby should have picked Riley instead. So there’s that.

Jennifer Hudson

All-white suits are nearly impossible to pull off. And I’m telling you J-Hud does it flawlessly.

Tessa Thompson

See, all of a sudden you don’t care what year it is either.

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

And Just Like Gay...

So the new “And Just Like That...”/Sex and the City: Generation Q trailer came out. And, um, things are definitely more queer than they used to be with the ladies who brunch. I don’t know if this is yet another case of Wishful Gay Thinking, but does Miranda seem...interested?

Besides the obvious (and now bittersweet) inclusion of the show’s obligatory gay BFFs Stanford Blatch (the late Willie Garson) and Anthony Marentino (Mario Cantone), the SATC universe may have finally beefed up its queer female representation. Yes, I know, there was the thing where they had Samantha hooked up with a fiery lesbian artist played by Sonia Braga. And they had Miranda kiss that one lesbian lawyer to make sure. And they had Charlotte temporarily run with a gang of Power Suit Lesbians because why not. Right, and they had SJP’s Carrie kiss Alanis Morissette and then immediately freak out and flee the premises. But, besides that, there truly have not been any regular queer female characters in their New York City. And that’s just crazypants because you NYC gals have the Cubbyhole.

Anyway, while I haven’t read any official confirmation that “And Just Like That...” now verified Lesbo Street Cred, here is a completely speculative assessment of the possibly, maybe and definitely queer content in the series revival’s first teaser trailer.

Evie in the City

Any show that casts Nicole Ari Parker always gets some residual Lesbo Street Cred because of her seminal role in the 1995 indie cinema darling and teen lesbian rom-com “The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love.” Just to clarify, I don’t think her character who appears to be a new bestie of Charlotte’s is queer, mind you. But you can never be sure.

We’re Roommates, Honest

So I don’t know who this super cool and fun-seeming mystery stranger Miranda is conversing with on the subway platform, but I detect more chemistry in that split-second arm touch than between Katherine Heigl and Alexis Bledel during the entire 95-minutes of “Jenny’s Wedding.” Yes, I am reaching back into the wayback lesbian cinema machine for this post, why do you ask?

Sara. Freaking, Ramirez.

Truly, need I say more?

Lesbian Twinsies Already

Getting awfully matchy matchy with their clothing color schemes.

Fine, It’s Steve

Fine, Steve made the trailer along with who I can only assume is their tall ginger son.

Again, all this could just be Wishful Gay Thinging. But a queer gal can dream until Dec. 9.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Lady Dance Lessons

Remember when celebrities used to slink away to foreign countries to make flashy, high-profile commercials so as not to damage their brands and appear to be sellouts? Like, the whole premise of “Lost in Translation” is based on the former practice of quietly going to Japan to shill for major corporations. Those days, clearly, are long gone as capitalism gotta capitalism in every aspect of our public and private lives. What celebrity isn’t trying to sell you a credit card or coffee maker or bottle of over-priced perfume these days?

Anyway, this is an overly complicated way of saying because of the glut of celebrity advertising I somehow missed this commercial for H&M starring Winona Ryder and Elizabeth Olsen (pre-WandaVision) back when it came out in 2018. TikTok helped resurface it to my attention, well a short clip of Winona and Liz dancing at least, that made me hunt for the full clip which led me to the ad which led me to my long-winded intro.

Now, I know this commercial is trying to sell me clothes. But if you stop before the logo shows at the end it plays like a PSA about how boring men are to dance with and how you should try a series of female dance partners instead until a beautiful, mysterious woman shows up to sweeps you off your feet. What? Stop the video at 1:14 and tell me this isn’t your take away from this whole thing. And if that’s the case, I’m buying what they’re selling.

Monday, November 15, 2021

Music Monday: F@cking Adele Edition

In between albums, what I miss most about Adele is of course that voice. But, honestly, it’s also that cheeky attitude. Part of her charm is her realness, and an obvious sense of humor about herself and the world. May she continue to delight us while making us weep (with laughter, or just as we sing along alone in our cars) for years and years and years to come. Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, November 12, 2021

My Weekend Crush

It almost pains me to say this, because reality television has all too often been an cynical cesspool of toxic stereotypes and lazy tropes, but I kinda sorta actually liked “Tampa Baes.” And by “liked” I mean, is maddeningly watchable. The new Amazon Prime Video documentary series about a group of lesbian friends who live and party in the Tampa Bay area is everything I should hate about reality television. Handpicked pretty people, manufactured drama, sensationalized in-fighting, endless partying. Mix, take a shot, flip a table, repeat.

But somewhere along the way the show figured out that the interior lives of these young queer women was just as interesting – if not a lot more interesting – than all their exterior fighting, fucking, crying, drinking et al. Granted, the first couple episodes are heavy on the flashy, trashy stuff. But if you stick it out, you’re rewarded at times with unexpected warmth and depth.

“Tampa Baes” works best when instead of dwelling on the inevitable bar fights of pontoon boat fights or Pride float fights, it lets the queer women simply talk about their lives. One woman grew up in a conservative Christian household and still struggles with her alienation from the church while creating a new sense of spirituality for herself. Another women has yet to come out to her grandparents, and allows cameras to follow her process in a raw way that will feel universal to many, many LGBTQ+ folks. While some of these frank moments barely break the surface, the earnestness with which these queer women recognize and share their own issues (be they with mental health or unaccepting families or struggles with finances) is commendable. That is the stuff I care about, not who is the self-proclaimed It Couple of Tampa. If only more reality TV realized that.

The show works best in those moments, when the superficial drama of the moment gives way to these underlying issues or long-festering traumas. The more we learn, the less each women remains a cardboard cut-out of whatever archetypal persona we thought we knew – the fuckboi, the party girl, the drama queen, the disaster artist. I was surprised by how some of these conversations actually felt organic, instead of the Very Special Episode-y.

Granted, it’s not all introspective or existential. The show is, as mentioned, packed with pretty people. All the same complaints about the original “The L Word” could be copy and pasted onto “Tampa Baes.” A mostly white or light-skinned cast. A mostly thin and largely feminine-presenting cast. BIPOC cast members are too often peripheral. And, again, we are treated to too many dumb, drunken fights and annoying, superficial “It Couple” posturing.

Drinks get thrown. Trash gets talked. Stupid shit happens. Characters get the Villain Edit and the Hero Edit and the usual other manipulations of so-called “reality” television. But that’s only to be expected. What I didn’t expect is that they’d be able to, at times, break through reality TV’s worst impulses and let the shared messiness of figuring out our queer lives shine through instead. Bottom line, for still sometimes for worse but luckiy also sometimes for better this show is just damn watchable. So happy watching and weekend, all.

Thursday, November 11, 2021

Gender Fuck Thursday: Smulder-ing Edition

I’m always a little baffled by why Cobie Smulders isn’t on every queer gals Hall Pass list. (But you know, a theoretical list, not an actual list since the “Hall Pass” idea is dumb and generally unrealistic and likely sexist in origin, but I digress.) Anway, Cobie has that hot brunette with a great jawline thing going on which is a knee weakener for many of us (I blame/thank Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman).
Cobie has pinned her recent success to that other comics brand (Marvel) as that other female superhero (Agent Maria Hill) and done very well. Yet she somehow still eludes the mass adulation status √† la your Cate Blanchetts or your Gillian Andersons among many queer gals. This is despite playing gay in some memorable roles from her appearance as the hot lesbian artist who made the dangerous baby mobile in the original “The L Word” run, or the hot bisexual private detective who made bad life decisions in the sadly cancelled “Stumptown.” The standalone episode where her Dex hooks up with a lady assassin? Come on, that was HOT.
Obviously, I could be wrong about my perception of the queer girl crush size on Cobie. But perhaps it was spending nine seasons on such an aggressively heterosexual show as “How I Met Your Mother” that left her a little off our radars. I mean, any show that turned Neil Patrick Harris into The Ultimate Bro is the heterosexual agenda, periodt.
So, in an effort to right our corrective courses when it comes to Cobie, here is her photoshoot from French fashion magazine L'Officiel’s Australian edition. Her appearance in a variety of suits should help remind people of her crushworthiness. Also, come on, her last name is Smulders. I mean, that’s just custom-made for smoldering (or should I say Smulder-ing) lesbo-hearththrobbery. That and all the suits.

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

No Clowning With Choice

I know for some it might seem counterintuitive for a lesbian to care deeply about abortion. (Which, obviously, is dumb because lesbians need abortions for all manner of reasons.) But honestly the current national debate about abortion should be maddening for all regardless of sexual orientation or gender. All this ceaseless moralizing is just a convenient way to control women and pregnant people, particularly poor people and people of color. Make no mistake, the only thing these abortion bans will do is make it unsafe for women and pregnant people to end their unwanted pregnancies again. Abortions will still happen, period. They’ll continue to be easy to access for the rich, but become unsafe and potentially deadly for the not rich.

What I think the framing of the abortion debate really is (besides obvious Christian-right propaganda and typical patriarchal bullshit) another example of how our culture continues to other-ize perfectly normal largely female activities. Take ads for period products. Like, for fuck’s sake, we’ve all grown up with a lifetime of watching blue liquid be poured onto pads because it’d be too “gross” to show fake blood. Somehow the concept of menstruation is too icky for polite people to talk about despite more than half the world’s population experiencing it basically every month for literally decades of their lives.

Part of what makes Cicily Strong’s* “Goober the Clown Who Had an Abortion When She was 23”-sketch work so well is it deflates the typical “Not something we talk about in polite society”-ness of abortion. She’s not making fun or light of abortion, quite the opposite. She’s instead skewering the absurdity of the taboo that says women and people who have been pregnant should hide and never talk about their abortions. One in three women will have an abortion in her lifetime. It’s not shameful, it’s healthcare. And you probably know and love someone very much who has had one and is grateful they are safe, legal and accessible.

The only shame is if we let a loud minority (because, again, most American support safe and legal abortion) control us. So honka-honka off with that nonsense. And don’t ever clown around with women and pregnant people’s right to choose.

*My tired brain appreciates the spell checks! Doh!

Tuesday, November 09, 2021

Happy En-Gay-gment

Well, now that the big en-GAY-gment news is out, time to look back at what has made K-Stew America’s Lesbian Sweetheart. Kidding! There’s no such thing as America’s anything because we’re all living in corrosive and conflicting parallel universes, some with very little understanding and willful disregard for basic facts. But, anyway, the good news is still no matter what political universe you live in Kristen Stewart remains “So gay, dude.” I’ve found Kristen’s public persona to be pretty fascinating. She has gone from very obviously reluctant teen starlet to obviously reluctant movie star to what she is today – a marquee celebrity who eschews most big budget products in favor of indie fare and is also very, very out and gay. So, here’s a look back at K-Stew’s gay-volution since coming out, officially, in that SNL monologue in February 2017. And mazel tov to Kristen and her screenwriting fianc√©e Dylan Meyer (who co-wrote “Moxie” btw, which I enjoyed). May you live long, gay, happy lives together.

The Monologue, Feb. 2017

We all have a coming out story, but we don’t all have a coming out story that includes going on national television to essentially telling Donald Trump to leave you alone and fuck off.

The Chop, March 2017

Almost exactly a month after her “So gay, dude” heard around the world K-Stew shaved her head which, relatable.

The Regrowth, August 2017

Also relatable, wearing hats during that awkward growing back out after shaving one’s head phase.

The Greaser, May 2018

I mean, who hasn’t channeled their inner Danny Zuko a time or two?

The Roxbury, Jan. 2019

Frosted tips and shiny suits 4Eva!

The Zuko Redux, Sept. 2019

I mean leather jackets never truly go out of style, right?

The Vest, Oct. 2019

Anytime a vest is substituted as a top, well, gayness is happening.

The Everything, Nov. 2019

Truly, the hat, the jacket, the pose, the rolled sleeves, the hand in pocket. Everything, including the “Charlie’s Angels.”

The Wow, Nov. 2019

Obviously, thanks to the “Charlie’s Angels,” we’re in a very gay period. Call them the Gay ‘19s, if you will. Also the last of the wondrously unaware Before Times pre COVID.

The Sophisticate, Oct. 2020

Getting dressed up for that first big pandemic outing is always a challenge.

The Dad, Sept. 2021

There’s always a bowling shirt phase, always.

The Vintage, 2001

Yep, even 20 years ago we knew. We knew.

Monday, November 08, 2021

Music Monday: Fletcher Edition

As I strive to stay hep with The Youths, I’ve stumbled across another popular lesbian singer on TikTok. Meet Fletcher, yes one name because all the cool cats and kittens are doing it apparently. Right now my For You Page is filled with soundbites from Zolita and Fletcher. Like are you even on Lesbian TikTok if you haven’t come across snippets of Zolita’s “Somebody I Fucked Once” or Fletcher’s “Girls Girls Girls?” The latter is a Millennial/Gen Z reworking of Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” with some vintage-feeling Sassy magazine aesthetics that also appeal to this aging Gen Xer. I dunno much about Fletcher other than the Katy Perry royalty part of her song is playing on like 40% of the lesbian videos I get on TikTok these days. The other 60% is dogs, cats and food videos, obviously. Now go kiss some girls and happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, November 05, 2021

My Weekend Crush

So to round out my Birthday Blog Week, here’s another blast from the past/an parallel universe where Bette Porter is K-Stew’s mom and lesbian worlds collide in spectacular fashion. Travel, if you will, back with me to 2004 when Jennifer Beals and Kristen Stewart played mother and daughter (I know, suppress your laughter if you can) in “Catch That Kid.” I’ve never watched the movie, since by 2004 it was way out of my demographic. But I read the synopsis and it’s something about the daughter of a paralyzed mountain climber scheming with friends to rob a bank to pay for his surgery which, um, GRIM, AMERICA, GRIM. We could have healthcare for all, but instead bank robbery is a viable movie option. Anyway, long story somewhat shorter, in my head this is Bette telling K-Stew to keep that jacket cause one day it’ll really go with her future aesthetic. (Also, congratulations are in order for her ENGAGEMENT this week, cementing that queer aesthetic permanently one might say) Also also Jennifer clearly kept that wardrobe for “The L Word.”
Also, you see that beanie? Like HOW DID PEOPLE NOT KNOW? How? Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, November 04, 2021

Hela Funny

In keeping with my It’s My Birthday Blog And I Can Post Wildly Outdated Stuff If I Want To theme this week, here’s just 45 wildly enjoyable seconds of Cate Blanchett wearing motion sensing ping-pongs while trying to be simultaneously menacing and fierce as Hela in the last Thor movie. Like, I could watch Cate accidentally making the fight noises with her mouth on a loop for hours. Hours, I tell you.

Wednesday, November 03, 2021

Lost Fights

It’s my birthday week and I’ll post throwbacks to Anna Silk and Zoie Palmer practicing a fight scene for “Lost Girl” if I want to. But then, watching two incredibly talented and beautiful actresses pretend to pummel one another is kind of a gift for all of us. It’s also Hump Day, not coincidentally. Man, I miss that show.

p.s. Bonus points if you remember which episode made Zoie go all Wolverine. I do, but then how can you forget the episode where Zoie also sang in French. Ohh, lala.

Tuesday, November 02, 2021

Happy Holigays Scheduling

Well, now that we’re past Halloween, the grand American tradition of skipping right over Thanksgiving and going full-bore into the damn Christmas season is upon us. Yes, I know, some places were playing holiday music before the Halloween skeletons had even been put away. But I digress. So with the holiday shopping craze comes the holiday movie trend. Hallmark and Lifetime have turned churning out aggressively heterosexual Yuletide rom-comes into a not-so-tiny cottage industry of these holidays.

But, recently, we’ve slowly seen more mainstream acceptance of the Holi-Gays. Last year we had a big breakthrough with “The Happiest Season,” which while perhaps not the perfect holigays movie, it was a huge step in widespread visibility with marquee actors and bigger than shoestring budgets for a change. Honestly, coming out storylines and all, I liked it and plan to watch it again this season. You know, along with the other great lesbian Christmas movie, “Carol.”

Well, this year, we’ll get to add some more Holigays movies to the Big Gay Christmas pantheon. First up (though, not necessarily chronologically first up, more on that later) is Lifetime’s very first lesbian Christmas rom-com “Under the Christmas Tree.”

Here’s Lifetime’s description of “Under the Christmas Tree” (airs Dec. 19):
“Marketing whiz Alma Beltran (Elise Bauman) and Christmas tree whisperer Charlie Freemont (Tattiawna Jones) cross paths when Charlie finds the perfect tree for the Maine Governor’s Holiday Celebration – right in Alma’s back yard. While they initially spar, romantic sparks soon begin to fly between the two women as the enchanting tree and some Christmas fairy dust from the town’s p√Ętissi√®re extraordinaire (Ricki Lake) bring out the best in them and spark each other to take leaps of faith and fight for love and Christmas magic.”
I dunno, gays, they had me at Ricki Lake plays the town’s p√Ętissi√®re extraordinaire. Do I already absolutely adore the adversarial meet-cute of finding the perfect tree in the other’s yard? Duh, I’m only human. My only quibble is Lifetime is making up wait until SIX DAYS before Christmas to watch this. Considering they start their slate of movies on Nov. 12, it’s a long wait to get to to the gay stuff. But, again, Ricki Lake plays a p√Ętissi√®re and there’s guaranteed gonna be some lady smooching under at least one damn tree so let’s do this thing.

The next lesbian holigays movie comes from our friends at Tello. They’re also the ones who gave us our FIRST lesbian holiday rom-com, 2019’s “Season of Love” and last year’s “I Hate New Year’s.” Their latest, “Christmas at the Ranch” is premised on a classic lesbian romance setup, so obviously I’m in.

Here’s Tello’s description of “Christmas at the Ranch” (screens in December):
“When Haley Hollis (Laur Allen) returns to her family ranch to try and save it from foreclosure, she wasn't banking on spending so much time with ranch hand Kate (Amanda Righetti) — or falling for her.”

And, in the grand tradition of holiday rom-coms, a veteran actress with clout and name recognition adds authenticity to the whole affair. In this case it’s Lindsay Wagner, a.k.a. The Bionic Woman herself. Also there are so many cowboy hats and that whole catching her as she falls and lands right in your arms trope. Yee-haw, you know imma watch this one, lil doggies.

Sadly, that’s it for ladies-loving-ladies holigay movies this year. But we’re getting two more dudes-loving-dudes holiday offerings as well. I mean, sure, the fellas can have their holidays too. First up is Hallmark’s “The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls.” The Christmas House One, as I will now refer to it, was admittedly not my favorite of last year’s slate of gay boy holiday rom-coms (though, luckily, not as terrible as “Dashing in December, which, man). But also it’s not entirely a queer film, it’s a large ensemble about a family where one of the brothers happens to be gay. I mean, he gets a partner so there’s romance, but yeah. Not entirely the same.

Here’s Hallmark’s succinct description of “The Christmas House 2” (airs Dec. 18):
“The Mitchell brothers compete to see who can create the best Christmas House.”
One of the aforementioned brothers (played by out former “Mean Girls” actor Jonathan Bennett is gay and has a husband and their storyline in the first movie was of course about having a baby. Well, at least it wasn’t about coming out.

This year’s final holidays treat is Netflix’s “Single All the Way.” While you could argue that 2019’s “Let It Snow” was the streamer’s first holigays film (it featured a same-sex female couple in their teenage ensemble), this appears to be their first main character, primary storyline queer holidays romance. That I have to parse that is tiring, but alas we still live in a world full of long-overdue firsts.

Here’s Netflix’s description of “Single All the Way” (streams Dec. 2):
“Desperate to avoid his family’s judgment about his perpetual single status, Peter (Michael Urie) convinces his best friend Nick (Philemon Chambers) to join him for the holidays and pretend that they’re now in a relationship. But when Peter’s mother (Kathy Najimy) sets him up on a blind date with her handsome trainer James (Luke Macfarlane)— the plan goes awry.”
I dunno about that premise but Kathy Najimy plays his mom and Jennifer Coolidge plays Aunt Sandy so clearly I’m going to watch this. Also, Michael, where you been? You were great in Ugly Betty.

So, thoughts on this year’s holigays lineup? Slightly more queer gender equity in this year’s lineup. Which is appreciated. Now let’s get to romancing in the snow, all you festive holiday gays.

Monday, November 01, 2021

Music Monday: Birthday Edition

Hey, it’s my birthday. And for my birthday I’m going to enjoy me some Brandi Carlile. So on this All Saint’s Day/Dia De Los Muertos/National Calzone Day (Ben Wyatt must be thrilled, please enjoy Brandi’s debut from last weekend on “Saturday Night Live.” Crazy to think she’s never performed on SNL before. But, goodness, did she show ‘em. I wish Brandi would add more 2022 tour dates. This gal can’t go another year around the sun without seeing our gal and her glam-ass suits and ridiculous gale-force voice in person. Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. Like I never thought I’d be attracted to someone wearing a shiny gold three-piece suit. But I was wrong.