Lizzo for the People

If you don’t love Lizzo, well, I’m no so sure about you. Unequivocally positive. Unabashedly joyful. Unreservedly political. Truly, what’s not to love? She champions the marginalized. She listens and learns. She has the audacity to be entirely herself, and celebrates everyone finding their joy. Bringing activists on stage with her to accept her People’s Champion honor at the People’s Choice Awards is the best kind of “on brand” move for her – and incredibly inspirational to boot. So, sit back and enjoy. Power to the people, always.

History Is Good As Hell

NOBODY HAS EVER HEARD THIS FAMOUS CRYSTAL FLUTE BEFORE

NOW YOU HAVE

IM THE FIRST & ONLY PERSON TO EVER PLAY THIS PRESIDENTIAL 200-YEAR-OLD CRYSTAL FLUTE— THANK YOU @librarycongress ❤️ pic.twitter.com/VgXjpC49sO

— FOLLOW @YITTY (@lizzo) September 28, 2022

As soon as I saw the video of Lizzo playing James Madison’s 200-year-old crystal flute, I knew, just knew, the Right Wingers would twist themselves into racist pretzels in an attempt to clutch their pearls. Like, come on, how fucking predictable. A Grammy and Emmy-winning superstar visits the Library of Congress and is invited to play some of the historic flutes in their collection in a win-win for fans of American history, education, and Lizzo. The Library of Congress gets to introduce itself to a new generation who might not be familiar with is place and purpose. And Lizzo gets to do something genuinely cool while helping to educate her fans and the world about American history. Both these things are great. But, yawn, the racists are Big Mad that Lizzo would so disrespect a treasured piece of American history they never even knew existed until she brought it out on stage with her while encouraging her huge fanbase to get into learning history. Or is it that this mega successful and talented Black women is touching something that the architect of the so-called three-fifths compromise (you know, that dehumanizing calculation that decided what percentage of a whole human being counted) once owned. Oh, and of course he also owned slaves. Hmmm. Me thinks they doth protest too much. And, you know, are horrible racists. History isn’t meant to be locked away in some drawer to be forgotten. It’s meant to be examined and learned from every single day. Otherwise, if we learn nothing, what the hell is the point? Stay mad, racists. Rock on, Lizzo. Go, learning true history.

My Weekend (SGALGG/GGALGG) Crush

While watching the Emmys on Monday I had the strangest sensations. Great winner after winner was named: Sheryl Lee Ralph, Quinta Brunson, Jennifer Coolidge, Lizzo, Jean Smart. Did I just experience JOY from an award show? Granted, the telecast ended up fizzling toward the end and then limped to the finish. And, of course, as with any award show, there was plenty of SGALGG. There were also plenty of GGALGG, as is now also always refreshingly the case. So please enjoy these moments of JOY and ladies enjoying being in the presence of other ladies. Though, if seeing newly minted Emmy winners Jean Smart and Sheryl Lee Ralph SGALGGing together doesn’t make you happy, what could? Happy weekend, all.

Jean Smart & Everyone

I mean, who wouldn’t want a chance to hold Jean’s hand, like Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s Rachel Brosnahan and Yellowjacket’s Tawny Cypress.

Or Maisel’s Alex Borstein and Yellowjackets co-stars Christina Ricci and Melanie Lynskey. Christina appears to also want a handful, and who can blame her.

Jean Smart & Hannah Einbinder

But no one called DIBS as hard as her “Hacks” co-star Hannah Einbinder. They already dream kissed in the show, so real life truly cannot be a stretch. (Yes, I know I know, very May-December.)

Quinta Brunson & Hannah Waddingham

Can Hannah resurrect her Shame Nun from Game of Thrones to shame Jimmy Kimmel for his disrespectful stunt during Quinta’s acceptance speech? Because, yeah.

Zendaya & HoYeon Jung

The future looks bright for young Hollywood. Now how about a “Squid Game” and “Euphoria” cross-over? I mean, the characters are all desperate and destructive in their own ways.

Lizzo & Zendaya

Joy. That’s all, just joy.

Christina Ricci & Reese Witherspoon

Are Christina’s Misty from “Yellowjackets” and Reese’s Tracy Flick from “Election” kind of spiritual twins? I mean, at least in the striving department. Possibly not the (possible) cannibalism. Also, props to Tawny for rooting for some good femslash between these two.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Truly, no award show is complete without our royal lesbian couple gracing the red carpet, now with a new pert alternative lifestyle haircut to boot. Also, there arrival marks our official transition into GGALGG land.

Hannah Einbinder & Her Afterparty Suit

Did I mention she changed into this after the awards? Because, yes.

And it encouraged her to perhaps cheat, respectfully, on Jean. Just a little. But then if The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri wanted a bear bug, you’d give one too.

Ariana DeBose & Everyone

Not to be out-gayed, Ariana indeed had a gay old time at the Emmys. Like schmoozing with Amanda Seyfried.

Or canoodling with Tracie Thoms and Rosario Dawson in a mini “Rent” movie reunion.

And how about this epic kibitzing with none other than RuPaul across the aisle.

Finally, there’s this. Possibly the gayest thing to happen at the Emmys. Ariana. Bowen Yang. Kate McKinnon. Like the only way it could have been gayer is if Sarah and Holland photobombed them. Oh well, goals for next year.

Gender Fuck Thursday: 100% That Ally

Lizzo is great. Demi Lovato is great. Lizzo supporting Demi by correcting their misgendering by some paparazzo on the street? Super great. I know sometimes we all mess up, and might misgender someone on accident. But what’s important is that we’re trying and being respectful. And if you’re an ally, you can show support by lifting the weight of having to constantly correct people’s mistakes – inadvertent or not. Be 100% that bitch for your queer, trans, non-binary friends and each other, always.

Lizzo, Redux

Kittens, 2020 is grinding us all down to nubs. Please take a little joy and rewatch Lizzo’s Tiny Desk concert from last year. I do whenever I need a pick-me up. And, goodness, do we need it. Life, the universe and dipshit hateful people who don’t give a shit about other people (and especially other people not of the same skin color) – like, cough, cough, our “president” make everything even worse. But, like I was saying, at least there’s Lizzo. I hope that makes up for the late post, and just a little bit of this infernal world.

Music Monday: Good As Lizzo

A new year, a new decade, that same Lizzo love. In these first few days of this decade, please give yourself the gift of radical self love that is Lizzo. I can’t help but feel joyful when her music comes on. And all this past year through the bullshit that is everyday, she has helped make 2019 bearable, and even a lot of fun. So I hope this makes you feel as good as hell as it did me. Happy first Music Monday of the 2020s, all.

p.s. She did this song on SNL in a shiny tux. Which is also good as hell. Enjoy, take deux.



p.p.s. While the Jillian Michaels of the world are attacking her body, Lizzo is using it to help victims of the devastating brushfires in Australia. So, rest assured, Our Lady of 100%That Bitch will be keep fucking things up to the tempo for good in 2020.

100 Percent That Scary

Look, you have Olivia and Phoebe and ukuleles, and we have Lizzo. Just to prove you don’t have delightfulness cornered, here is Lizzo going through a haunted house with Ellen’s executive producer/resident scaredy-cat Andy Lassner.

I particularly like when she uses her ass as a defense against the Dark Arts. And runs and leaves him to fend for himself.

Lizzo, it should be noted, also won Halloween with her costume this year. As I was saying, delightful on this, Britain.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lizzo (@lizzobeeating) on Oct 31, 2019 at 10:06pm PDT

My Weekend Bye, Bitch

I cannot think of a single better way to end the week when impeachment proceedings officially began. Like, they should just play this on a loop over the White House sound system when he is finally forced to leave. To be honest, it’s a far better farewell than he deserves. But, regardless, we deserve this. So here is Lizzo who is channeling her fiercest Ursula the Sea Witch energy. It’s really the cackle at the end of each one of these that makes it art. Honestly, is anyone enjoying life more than Lizzo these days? Though, I think I know at least 65,844,954 million Americans who are at very least enjoying this week. Happy Impeach The Motherfucker Already Weekend, bitches.

For Love of Lizzo

I’ve said this since Nov. 8, 2016, but joy is an act of resistance. And right now nothing is more joyful than Lizzo. Since it came out late last month I’ve watched her NPR Tiny Desk concert no fewer than four times – just as a little pick-me-up for the soul. Plus, a good booty shake certainly never hurt anyone.

But more than just being joyful, which her music unmistakably is, Lizzo is radical in her love. Love of herself. Love of her audience. Love of what love can really do. And she speaks these radical ideas out loud, to a beat that no one can deny.

When Lizzo says, “It’s so hard trying to love yourself in a world that doesn’t love you back,” you feel it. And when she says, “You deserve to feel good as hell,” you believe it. She frequently says, “If you can love me, you can love yourself.” And, if you really think about that, it’s a wildly radical flipping of the self-worth script.

You often hear, “You can’t love someone until you love yourself.” While probably a well-intentioned way to think about our love and worth, it lays the onus of being worthy or unworthy of love all on our shoulders. So if we’re unworthy of love, i.e. don’t love ourselves, it’s basically our fault. Again, not necessarily the intent, but too often the outcome of this kind of thinking.

But what Lizzo says is, if you can love me (or, really, anyone else) then you already have all the tools you need to love yourself. And that’s a pretty profound way to think about your self worth. It’s not that you are unworthy, because you can love, it’s that you haven’t deemed yourself worthy. But, guess what, you are. I know it, Lizzo knows it, and deep down I truly hope you know it too. Because you deserve to feel good as hell. We all do.

Desk Life

Look, I don’t know how you can watch the Lizzo Tiny Desk Concert for NPR and not be happy. But I don’t suggest you try. Instead, on this Hump Day (do the kids today still say Hump Day? Do I care?), please enjoy some unfiltered joy. You deserve it.

Lizzo Top Tuesday

Look, I’m late to everything music-y these days. (See: My new-found endless of love of Kacey Musgraves’ “Golden Hour”) But then again I was never one of those, “I knew X before it was cool” kind of people. So my confession is I had heard of Lizzo before, but I don’t think I actually heard Lizzo until I started jamming out to her “Truth Hurts.”

I feel like, even as a lesbian, I feel this song in my bones. Maybe it’s just the straight lady sympathy factor – because we’ve all fallen hard for one and that leaves a mark. Or that men in general deserve it. But, hello, does this song make me happy. And I hope it does you as well. Oh, and while Lizzo and her ladies aren’t technically wearing tank tops, I think their outfits might still meet one’s approval on this Tuesday. Like, a lot of approval.