Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age

Someone called me “creepy” for noting that Amber Glenn, who is a 26-year-old fully adult woman, is hot. Which, I might add, could just be empirical fact. Regardless, I would like to comfort those who are concerned about my moral compass, that I would never actually initiate any real-world romantic relationships with someone approximately half my age. Nor do I want to. But, also, I have eyes that work – and I’m not dead. Anyway, to not offend anyone’s sensibilities – delicate or otherwise – how about some Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age? All these women are well within an appropriate age bracket for a Gen Xer who keeps throwing those AARP invitations in the trash.

Suranne Jones, 47

It’s the manspreading for me.

Tracy Chapman, 61

Boy, I wish she would play publicly more so I could objectify the shit out of her…talent.

Cate Blanchett, 56

I’ve never pulled off a velvet suit this well at any age.

Jodie Foster, 63

Granted, I might be on the edge of youngish for Jodie depending on her May-December tolerance. Which clearly would be the only thing holding us back and not the fact that she’s already married and also Jodie Foster.

Jenna Lyons, 57

I wish she was still with J.Crew, because as a Gen Xer I still have major residual nostalgia about that brand and its catalogue.

Regina King, 55

I’m pretty sure I can’t pull off an orange suit either, regardless of age.

Lena Headey, 52

I’ll always have a thing for age-appropriate florists thanks to her.

Cynthia Nixon, 59; Carrie Coon, 45; Christine Baranski, 73

Yes, I know Louisa Jacobson (34) and Taissa Farmiga (31) are just sweet baby angel children, so please accept the reverse 20+year age gap with Christine as my mea culpa.

p.s. In case further apology is needed, please accept this with my most sincere age-appropriate feelings (just put your thumb over 38-year-old Karen Gillan’s face if necessary) as everyone else is 50+.

Vacation Vixen: A King, A Queen & A Hack

I’m generally against throuples (yes, of course, do you – I mean for me). But this throuple, this throuple I’m not against. For me or them. What, the world’s on fire. Why not?

Princess Treatment

Deborah and Ava crawled so Christine Baranski and King Princess could soar! I mean, not really, for either of them. But wasn’t it fun when we thought maybe it could be? Last week there was a brief shining moment when it seemed maybe the 73-year-old actress and the 26-year-old singer were an item. I mean, how else should we have interpreted the Instagram hard launch with the hashtag #loveislove?

Anyway, turns out the “Nine Perfect Strangers” co-stars are just intergenerational BFFs. Who hold hands! And wear cute suits together! Duh! Stop being weird about it! Or get much, much weirder. Your call.

Christmas (Again) in November

Look, at least I waited until November to post holiday content. First "Happiest Season" and now Dolly does Christmas. I guess the movie gods are trying to help make up for the past four years of nothing but bah-humbug. And we could all use a little extra Christmas spirit right about now. (Or, of course, whatever holiday you celebrate that gives you the warm and fuzzies and possibly presents.) And Christmas plus Dolly Parton? Well, who knows maybe 2020 will have a strong finish after all. So, yeah, we deserve an early Christmas this year. And that’s a good thing.

Music Monday: Zoom Cocktails Edition

Late last month, a still-dark Broadway (and Hollywood) celebrated the 90th birthday of Stephen Sondheim with a star-studded self-quarantine live-from-home show that raised money for the charity group Artists Striving To End Poverty. You can watch the whole two-and-a-half hour affair here (now embedded above, which you are welcome to restart or watch in its entirety) because, heck, what else do a lot of you have to do right now? (Though not us, The Essentials, but everyone else.) Still if you only have time for one I cannot recommend highly enough the boozy rendition of “Ladies Who Lunch” from Sondheim’s musical “Company.”

It features – wait for it – Meryl Streep, Christine Baranski and Audra McDonald in their bathrobes mixing and drinking cocktails on The Most Epic Zoom Call Ever. It’s so wonderful that after watching it the first time I replayed it – and I am not exaggerating – half a dozen times in a row. The robes, the sass, the cocktails, the glimpse inside these stars’ homes, The Voices. Goodness it’s just so damn great. May you enjoy (or re-enjoy) this to start your week and remember to find joy (and cocktails or mocktails) wherever you can. Cheers, kittens.

The Good Recap

Just a reminder, folks, that I am still recapping “The Good Fight” over at Autostraddle. This coming Sunday is the first season finale. But you can catch up on all the recaps here. And, I’d love it if you did. Also, it’s a smart, smart show and I think you’ll like it – I really do. And, man, has it been fun to recap. Sure, it’s not perfect. It’s had some issues, particularly with the disappearing girlfriend. She’s back now, I hope for good. And there have even been some lady kisses. Mostly I am glad such a sharp, female-focused show that hates Donald Trump almost as much as I do is on the air. People always say loving the same things makes for a strong relationship. And that’s true. But it sure doesn’t hurt to hate the same things, too. Thanks for reading my recaps. One left, kittens.

The Good Recap

Hey, hey, hey. Guess what? No, sorry, everything since November hasn’t been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dream. But! Here is something I hope you will find not so terrible and maybe even good. I’m recapping again. Yes, indeedy.

The kind folks at Autostraddle are having me write recaps for the new CBS All Access show “The Good Fight” (a spinoff of “The Good Wife). So far the show is essentially TGW but without Carol Hathaway, Big or BAMF Kalinda. Instead it has Ygritte, more POC and lesbians. So, not a terrible trade in my book. The show premiered on Sunday and the first recap is up now at Autostraddle. If you’d be so kind, I’d love you to pop on over and have a look right here.

More not horrible, very exciting news – I’ll also be recapping “The Handmaid’s Tale” for them when it debuts on Hulu in April.

This is all very exciting and I’m thrilled to become part of this smart, vibrant and inclusive community.