More Like Gay-mmys

Hey, the delayed Emmys were pretty cool. At least they didn’t have a host who blamed the writers for bombing. Also, some fairly gay stuff happened. Also, I guess this really means I should start watching “The Bear.” Also, fine, yes I know I already featured Tina and Amy. But they almost look like they might kiss here and I have an active imagination.

1) In an evening of pretty good speeches, Niecy Nash-Betts gave the nights most impassioned and most empowering speech. Also did you see her wife, Jessica Betts, escort her up to the Emmy steps? Hot.

2) Pedro Pascal brought his sister, trans actress and activist Lux Pascal, as his date because fuck the right wing persecution of trans existence.

3) Bringing a sister was a trend, as Aubrey Plaza brought hers too. Also very resourceful of her to wear her hotel mending kit as a dress. More reason Abby should have picked her instead of Harper.

4) Don’t fear drag queens, give them Emmys. So sayeth Ru, amen.

5) Like, I mean, the show was so gay they gave GLAAD an award. And you’d better believe I loved seeing Wilson Cruz standing on stage because his LGBTQ+ advocacy throughout his entire career has been so very Rickie Vasquez of him.

6) Fine, there’s nothing gay about Amy Poehler and Natasha Lyonne. But, dammit if there shouldn’t be.

7) While we’re wishing for things, how about a women of a certain (awesome) age lesbian rom-com starring Jennifer Coolidge and Lorraine Bracco? I mean, Jennifer already thanked us “evil gays,” so you know the built-in fanbase is ready. Think of it, Stifler’s Mom and Mama Rizzoli. Make it so, evil gays!

8) Speaking of lesbian rom-coms, I would also watch this movie. Hannah Waddingham and Ariana DeBose could totally do the thing.

9) While there was nothing gay about these two moments either I just thought they were wonderful passing of the torches/trophies from different generations of female comedy geniuses to another.

10) Jodie Foster. Yeah, any time she shows up and throws on a suit jacket I’m gonna notice. Obviously.

Vacation Vixen: Quinta Brunson

When is “Abbott Elementary” coming back? Make it come back. Also, Quinta is so cool. I’d watch her actually teach school.

Return to Golden Hour

So, yeah, the Golden Globes were on a random Tuesday and it felt weird watching them because, well, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association sucks and we all know that. But, well, I love a glitzy event and I REALLY love Everything Everywhere All At Once (duh). And, you know, it’s always fun to see TV People hobnob with Movie People – though the biggest groan-inducing repeat gag (literally and figuratively) of the night everyone saying “Hi!” to Brad Pitt. Honestly, if they’d just let Jennifer Coolidge fill the three and a half hours with her kooky stories while handing out the awards to all the POC who deserve it I would have been just as happy with the telecast.

Admittedly, because they had to, the HFPA did considerably better this year with inclusion both on stage, behind the scenes and among its winners. And, it was pretty gay, too. From host Jerrod Carmichael to Jennifer Coolidge stealing the show, twice. All of the excellence from winners like Quinta Brunson and Michelle Yeoh and Angela Bassett is a reminder that while talent is everywhere, opportunity is not. When we allow the two to come together, everyone – especially the viewer –benefits.

Because this was a somewhat more muted affair (because of its literal cancelation last year), there wasn’t much SGALGG. So here are just some of the most memorable bits – in no particular order because the show was three and a half hours long. That’s a lot to remember.

This is the start of the best later-in-life coming out lesbian rom-com in history.

This whole cast makes me smile and also – smash. Respectfully, because they’re educators, but definitely smash. (What? Like you don't have a thing for teachers, too.)

I’m mainly happy for the success of “House of the Dragon” because it means Emma D’Arcy can show up at award shows dressed like this.

This whole cast makes me smile, and also – smash. Sorry, not you Ke Huy Quan – but your Short Round was one of the first Asian character I saw I saw on screen growing up. So thank you for that.

Meg Stalter and Hannah Einbinder together is like seeing the members of a high school gay-straight alliance grow up and do well for themselves.

Angela Bassett and Rihanna together, I don’t have anything clever to say that’s just like seeing royalty or something (but not real royalty, because those Windsors as kinda the worst).

It’s still so perplexing to me that Natasha Lyonne isn’t gay. Like, still!

Niecy Nash and her wife Jessica Betts are always one of the very best dressed couples on the red carpet. Period.

Oh, Lydia Tar won. But didn’t attend. So in case you forgot what she looks like, here’s a current picture of Cate Blanchett. You’re welcome.

My Weekend (SGALGG/GGALGG) Crush

While watching the Emmys on Monday I had the strangest sensations. Great winner after winner was named: Sheryl Lee Ralph, Quinta Brunson, Jennifer Coolidge, Lizzo, Jean Smart. Did I just experience JOY from an award show? Granted, the telecast ended up fizzling toward the end and then limped to the finish. And, of course, as with any award show, there was plenty of SGALGG. There were also plenty of GGALGG, as is now also always refreshingly the case. So please enjoy these moments of JOY and ladies enjoying being in the presence of other ladies. Though, if seeing newly minted Emmy winners Jean Smart and Sheryl Lee Ralph SGALGGing together doesn’t make you happy, what could? Happy weekend, all.

Jean Smart & Everyone

I mean, who wouldn’t want a chance to hold Jean’s hand, like Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s Rachel Brosnahan and Yellowjacket’s Tawny Cypress.

Or Maisel’s Alex Borstein and Yellowjackets co-stars Christina Ricci and Melanie Lynskey. Christina appears to also want a handful, and who can blame her.

Jean Smart & Hannah Einbinder

But no one called DIBS as hard as her “Hacks” co-star Hannah Einbinder. They already dream kissed in the show, so real life truly cannot be a stretch. (Yes, I know I know, very May-December.)

Quinta Brunson & Hannah Waddingham

Can Hannah resurrect her Shame Nun from Game of Thrones to shame Jimmy Kimmel for his disrespectful stunt during Quinta’s acceptance speech? Because, yeah.

Zendaya & HoYeon Jung

The future looks bright for young Hollywood. Now how about a “Squid Game” and “Euphoria” cross-over? I mean, the characters are all desperate and destructive in their own ways.

Lizzo & Zendaya

Joy. That’s all, just joy.

Christina Ricci & Reese Witherspoon

Are Christina’s Misty from “Yellowjackets” and Reese’s Tracy Flick from “Election” kind of spiritual twins? I mean, at least in the striving department. Possibly not the (possible) cannibalism. Also, props to Tawny for rooting for some good femslash between these two.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Truly, no award show is complete without our royal lesbian couple gracing the red carpet, now with a new pert alternative lifestyle haircut to boot. Also, there arrival marks our official transition into GGALGG land.

Hannah Einbinder & Her Afterparty Suit

Did I mention she changed into this after the awards? Because, yes.

And it encouraged her to perhaps cheat, respectfully, on Jean. Just a little. But then if The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri wanted a bear bug, you’d give one too.

Ariana DeBose & Everyone

Not to be out-gayed, Ariana indeed had a gay old time at the Emmys. Like schmoozing with Amanda Seyfried.

Or canoodling with Tracie Thoms and Rosario Dawson in a mini “Rent” movie reunion.

And how about this epic kibitzing with none other than RuPaul across the aisle.

Finally, there’s this. Possibly the gayest thing to happen at the Emmys. Ariana. Bowen Yang. Kate McKinnon. Like the only way it could have been gayer is if Sarah and Holland photobombed them. Oh well, goals for next year.

Go to School

Time to go back to school. I recently binged all the available episodes of the first season of Abbott Elementary, a new ABC comedy (that’s streaming on Hulu) based on a perpetually underfunded Philadelphia public school and created by the ridiculously talented Quinta Brunson (previously of the ridiculously funny “Black Lady Sketch Show”). It’s a mockumentary ensemble workplace comedy, in the vein of “Parks & Recreation” and “The Office” and “Superstore,” but in school. But with so much more organic and welcome diversity.

I know you’re thinking, but is it gay? Well, it has a gay male teacher (the token woke white liberal man) and its writers room includes genderqueer comic Brittani Nichols (who you might recognize from “Transparent” and “Suicide Kale”). So I have hopes for some female and non-binary/trans representation as well.

Oh, and did I mention the show is partnering with Scholastic to provide free book fairs at some underfunded schools? Because they are. THEY ARE. I remember Scholastic book fairs are the absolute most exciting time when I was in elementary school. Like, omg, ALL THE NEW BOOKS. Seriously, this show just keeps on giving.

With so much horrible still happening all around us, Abbott offers simple yet deeply earned delights. It’s very funny and sweet and optimistic in a less caffeinated Leslie Knope way. Yet it’s also grounded in realistic framing of chronically underserved communities. That these often happen to be communities of color is no coincidence. Through laughter and empathy and more laughter and the utter absurdity of reality it makes you care deeply about things like school funding and teacher salaries and educational attainment in underrepresented communities. Also, did I mention it’s deeply funny?

Anyway, my TL;DR book report thesis is: Watch “Abbott Elementary.” The good news is you have a week to get caught up on the first nine episodes before the show comes back from a brief hiatus next Tuesday. (And yesterday it got renewed for a second season.) Yes, this is an assignment. But the extra credit is laughter and joy and more laughter.