Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Lady Wars

Space, the final frontier. All those galaxies far, far away.* And still, STILL, just one chick. The new “Star Wars” cast was announced yesterday and it is an admittedly interesting roster filled with oddballs packing indie cred and newcomers making everyone run to IMDB to figure out who the fuck they were. The full announcement:

The Star Wars team is thrilled to announce the cast of Star Wars: Episode VII.

Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film.
The most encouraging thing about the new cast announcement was the placement of British actor John Boyega’s name first. Placement in Hollywood is important and if your name comes first in a list there’s a good chance you will be the lead of the project. Another notable thing about John Boyega, because again he’s a British actor best known for the film “Attack of the Block” that many American audiences may not be familiar with, is he is black. Let’s take a moment and bask in the wonderfulness of one of the biggest movie franchises in the entire universe featuring a black male lead. So I very much hope the order of the names is indicative of importance, and not just a cheap way to trumpet its inclusiveness.

Now, back to the other notable thing from that announcement. That’s British actress Daisy Ridley who was the one female named in the big cast reveal. Yes, only one new female lead. We can only hope her character gets a chance to talk with Carrie Fisher in something other than a hologram, or this film will surely fail the Bechdel Test. I don’t know why this should surprise me, since the original trilogy failed the Bechdel Test as well. But I had hoped that 37 years later filmmakers might have caught on that girls like space, too.

Alas, nope. While I certainly applaud what I hope is a long-awaited step forward in racial diversity (think about it, how many other current movie franchise has a non-white leads – NOT THAT MANY), I am completely bummed they couldn’t find at least one more new woman to occupy the vastness of space with Daisy Ridley.



This production shot released by Lucasfilms is beyond telling. Fifteen people in the room, three women in the group. I wish I was shocked, but mostly I’m just continually disappointed. How did we become so conditioned to think these kind of ratios are OK when the world we live in looks so very different? We are 51 percent of the population, yet still too few people blink an eye at such unbalanced ratios.

How sad that we still cannot boldly go where no woman has gone before – namely to give a gal a couple fucking female friends in space.

p.s. According to The Hollywood Reporter, sources close to “Star Wars” (and “Star Trek” – basically all of the “Star” movies) director J.J. Abrams say he has another substantial role to fill — and it's a female part. Two roles out of eight. Burn those bras, ladies. WE HAVE ARRIVED.

*Yes, I am intentionally mixing my Star franchise metaphors. Since Hollywood decided the same one dude gets to be in charge of both universes now, I’ll do what I damn well want, thank you very much.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Tank Top Tuesday

Tuesgay, Tuegay, gotta get down in tanks on Tuesgay. Yes, fine – I know. That was terrible. TERRIBLE. Anyway, let’s pretend it never happened. Instead, let’s focus on these criminally underused actresses. Here are some talented ladies who need more screen time (or to be back on screen, period). That they just happen to look hot in tank tops is an added bonus.

Cobie Smulders

Now that “How I Met Your Mother” is over I say Cobie goes back to her root on “The L Word” and play gay again. I mean, she already looks amazing in a tank top and that’s half the battle.

Rachel Shelley

Speaking of “The L Word,” poor Helena Peabody needs to be more than just Rumplestiltskin’s scorned ex-wife.

Samira Wiley

I want more Poussey this season on “Orange Is the New Black.” I want more Poussey always, but that’s another story altogether.

Julie White

Yes, I am still bitter about “Go On” being cancelled. I will always be angry about this.

Emmanuelle Vaugier

She’s so deliciously dastardly as the Morrigan. And now that she’s even more human, we can only hope for even more screentime.

Michelle Krusiec

I watched “Saving Face” again recently. Damn, that movie is cute. And so, naturally, is Michelle.


Monday, April 28, 2014

My Monday Crush

Sorry! I got busy this weekend and was not able to post my crush. Let me apologize with the only currency the Internet truly understands. Adorable cat and dog videos. This is the story of my household. Except it is one of my cats trying to make friends with the dog and other cat with similarly unsuccessful results. Can't we all just get along? Oh well, at least they look adorable while trying.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Little Orphan Upping the Ante

You know what we haven’t talked about yet? The “Orphan Black” premiere. I think it is because I still haven’t truly processed my thoughts past, “HOLY SHIT.” Which I believe is where they might stay up to and including this coming Saturday’s episode. Oh, who are we kidding – probably the whole season.

Once again, utterly unsurprisingly, Tatiana Maslany is spectacular. How she makes playing so many characters – and those same characters pretending to be other characters – seem so effortless is one of the great mysteries of our universe.

But what is really intriguing this season is not only the great mystery – like, um, what’s up with all the clones? – but the ramifications of the mystery. So hats off to those clever writers who have found a way to weave the real-life Supreme Court decision last year on human gene patents into their ever more intricate plotlines.

Those deeper, darker consequences of cloning – human copyrights, free will, corporate greed – are entwining like an infinite double helix of intrigue. Yeah, yeah – see what I did there? But, to get down to the nucleus of what makes this show so great is its ability to make us gasp. Like, SPOILER ALERT, DUH, how in the hell expected Helena to make it? I sure didn’t. Yet there she is, alive if leaky, and I did not see it coming even a little.



Also, come on, Sarah in Cosima cosplay kissing Delphine? What other show on television right now gives you that kind of mid freak? And – while I loved seeing the recognition in Delphine’s face that the Cosima before her was not the Cosima she loves – I still don’t know whether to trust her heart.



This season, kittens, this damn season.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

She put a ring on it

What a difference a year and three months makes. After her somewhat rambling and long-in-the-coming out speech at the Golden Globes in January 2013 where she declared herself several things including the she was 1) Fifty!, 2) Had done her coming out a thousand years ago in the stone age, and 3) Single, Jodie Foster is now a married woman. E! Online confirmed today that the Jodie wed her girlfriend, Alexandra Hedison, over the weekend.

First things first: MAZEL TOV, YOU BIG GAYMOS!

Second things second: I really hope they got married in sensible shoes and capris, like the photo E! used of them together. Barring that, it had better have been impeccably tailored Armani suits. Yum.

Third things next: Wow. You know, back in the slightly more recent stone age when Jodie’s orientation was an open secret, but still never acknowledged to the masses, I would have never guessed that this most private of stars would have made the most public of declarations. But that’s the funny thing about time and progress and change. It happens, whether you expect it or not. Also, isn’t it wonderful that (assuming they were married in California, though New York works too) their marriage will be recognized by the federal government? Yes, yes it is wonderful.



I really couldn’t be happier for Jodie and Alex. Those of you who have been around here a while know she is my oldest and most persistent crush. So her happiness makes me happy. And nothing speaks to the eternal hope for the future than declaring “I do” to the person you want to spend forever with. I will refrain from making the obligatory U-Haul joke about them having publicly dated less than a year before tying the knot and just wish all the best to the happy couple.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Using the R Word

Consent is such a simple concept. Mother may I? Yes, you may. But in our culture, both in real-life and mass entertainment, the notion of consent and its importance too often blurs. So now, those blurred lines (thanks, or more like no thanks, Robin Thicke) become the norm.

Spoiler Alert: This is the part where I warn you about my intent to throwdown about the shit that went down Sunday on “Game of Thrones.” This is also your trigger warning. So, now that everyone is properly warned…

Let’s talk about how we have come to a place where we are even having a debate about whether Jaime rapes his sister Cersei in Sunday’s “Game of Thrones.” Let me go on record stating the obvious. YES, THAT WAS RAPE.

Lest you think I’m an idiot for stating said obvious, let me reference “Game of Thrones” director Alex Graves who said this of the scene in question to HitFix:

“Well, it becomes consensual by the end, because anything for them ultimately results in a turn-on, especially a power struggle. Nobody really wanted to talk about what was going on between the two characters, so we had a rehearsal that was a blocking rehearsal. And it was very much about the earlier part with Charles (Dance) and the gentle verbal kidnapping of Cersei's last living son. Nikolaj came in and we just went through one physical progression and digression of what they went through, but also how to do it with only one hand, because it was Nikolaj. By the time you do that and you walk through it, the actors feel comfortable going home to think about it. The only other thing I did was that ordinarily, you rehearse the night before, and I wanted to rehearse that scene four days before, so that we could think about everything. And it worked out really well. That's one of my favorite scenes I've ever done.”
There’s a lot going on in his comments about the scene. But the key part is this:
“Well, it becomes consensual by the end.”
If you saw the scene in question, there can be no question that it was unequivocally NOT “consensual by the end.” And, YES, THAT WAS RAPE. But by all means let’s perpetuate the idea that any man can magically turn a “no,” into a “yes.” She may not have wanted it at first, but hubba hubba and all that fucking crap.

And then the director doubled-down on the “consensual by the end” statement by saying to Vulture:
“It’s my cut of the scene. The consensual part of it was that she wraps her legs around him, and she’s holding on to the table, clearly not to escape but to get some grounding in what’s going on. And also, the other thing that I think is clear before they hit the ground is she starts to make out with him. The big things to us that were so important, and that hopefully were not missed, is that before he rips her undergarment, she’s way into kissing him back. She’s kissing him aplenty.”
Wow, really? Because I saw a woman saying “no” repeatedly while resisting only to be told “I don’t care” what you want by the man.

Now, admittedly, I have not read the books. But I have read this particular excerpt and in the book it, indeed, is clear that while there are some protestations there is also ultimately consent from Cersei before it happens. To quote Cersei in the book:
“Hurry,” she was whispering now, “quickly, quickly, now, do it now, do me now. Jaime Jaime Jaime.” Her hands helped guide him. “Yes,” Cersei said as he thrust, “my brother, sweet brother, yes, like that, yes, I have you, you’re home now, you’re home now, you’re home.”
Yes, the scene is still disturbing, but OK – that sounds like consent.

Compare that to what we saw on TV. This is the exact transcript of the end of their scene on TV:
Cersei: “It’s not right. It’s not right. It’s not right.”
Jaime: “I don’t care. I don’t care.”
Cersei: [Weeping noises.] Don’t. Don’t. [More weeping noises.]
Look, my intent here is not to shame this director for blurring the lines of consent. Instead it is to point out how much we have accepted that blur in our lives. Why is it so hard to just say, YES, THAT WAS RAPE?
  • A man forced himself on a woman. YES, THAT WAS RAPE.
  • The man and woman have had consensual sex in the past. Doesn’t matter, YES, THAT WAS RAPE.
  • The woman is a bitch and horrible person anyway. So what, YES, THAT WAS RAPE.
Instead we parse the particulars and make excuses and look for ways to make what we would otherwise have to view of absolutely amoral a mutual experience.

There can be scenes of rape and sexual assault on television that serve a (terrible) purpose. I am not against the depiction of all sexual violence on screen (though, perhaps we could do it a little bit less raping, eh?) But let’s be honest about what we are seeing.

Here’s the thing. When we blur the lines in entertainment, we create a world where it is easier to blur the lines in real life. This is rape culture, and it’s wrong. Am I saying “Game of Thrones” is causing people to get raped? No, don’t be silly. Am I saying continued representation of rape as something other than rape (and therefore debatable or excusable or – worst case scenario – the norm) makes us as a society more likely to allow this sort of behavior from high school football stars or world-famous fashion photographers or directors of critically acclaimed movies.

To tackle a real problem we have to speak the same language. YES, THAT WAS RAPE. It’s really that simple.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Will the real Alex Vause please stand up

So last week news broke about The Real Alex Vause. The character is based on the character in Piper Kermann’s memoir by the same name. And, of course, real life and television life diverge in predictable (and unpredictable) ways. Vanity Fair ran the first interview with The Real Alex Vause, a.k.a. Catherine Cleary Wolters (who goes by Cleary). It will come as no surprise that she doesn’t look much like Laura Prepon. But, come on, who does? Though, they do both wear dark-rimmed clunky glasses. So, there’s that.



Other key differences Cleary/Alex claims from as seen on teevee. 1) They didn’t have sex in prison. (At least with each other.) 2) She didn’t seduce her into running drugs. (That happened before they were an item.) 3) She was not Piper’s first nor last lady. (I’d like to request we see this dramatized in flashback, please.) 4. She wasn’t the only one to snitch. (She says they all snitched on each other simultaneously.) 5. They were never girlfriends. (To which real-life Piper responded with an, “O’RLY?”)

But you know what, I don’t particularly care that real-life and Litchfield-life aren’t accurate reflections of each other. (Though, it should be noted I care slightly more if Kermann’s written memoir and Cleary’s recollection of history are at odds.) I have always taken the Netflix creation as a work of fiction only loosely based on some form of fact. What I care about instead is the world these characters create together. The heady chemistry on this show and potent cocktail of personalities is what makes “Orange Is the New Black” undeniably watchable. I am not in it for a history lesson. Though I do appreciate the tips on how to make duct-tape shower shoes.

And what makes me most happy is this is a piece of entertainment created by women, based on a woman’s work and featuring women – women of all colors and shapes and ages and experiences. It sounds trite to say it, because it is said so much it sounds almost glib, but we absolutely do not see enough of that in our mainstream entertainment. Yet no one blinks an eye at the proliferation of male-created and centered narratives. And don’t even get me started on race.

Never mind, do. Because while we’re peripherally on the subject of who gets to tell narratives and what is considered the “default,” can we have an aside to discuss the idiotic thing one of the co-writers of “Noah” told a Christian website recently about why there are no people of color in the film? Because this is what he said:

From the beginning, we were concerned about casting, the issue of race. What we realized is that this story is functioning at the level of myth, and as a mythical story, the race of the individuals doesn’t matter. They’re supposed to be stand-ins for all people. Either you end up with a Bennetton ad or the crew of the Starship Enterprise. You either try to put everything in there, which just calls attention to it, or you just say, “Let’s make that not a factor, because we’re trying to deal with everyman.” Looking at this story through that kind of lens is the same as saying, “Would the ark float and is it big enough to get all the species in there?” That’s irrelevant to the questions because the questions are operating on a different plane than that; they’re operating on the mythical plane.
So, let’s boil this down. If you have a cast of all-white actors, race doesn’t matter. White people are a stand in for all people. Let’s not get distracted by diversity. Because if you cast a multi-ethnic cast, whoa nelly, that’s where problems begin.

I could write a long, and reasoned response to why this kind of thinking is so harmful to accurate racial representation in our media. But instead I’ll just say, fuck you. FUCK YOU.

OK, this is wildly off topic. But this is how my brain bangs around sometimes.

In short. I enjoy “Orange Is the New Black” for a multitude of reasons that have nothing to do with reality and everything to do with the richness of the stories being told and the people who get to portray them.

Also, as Cleary herself admits, “who doesn’t want to see Donna from That ’70s Show have lesbian sex?” Who, indeed.

p.s. More very good news on that front. If OITNB comes back for a third season, Prepon will return full-time as a series regular instead of her four-episode appearance in Season 2. Glory, glory hallelujah.

Friday, April 18, 2014

My Weekend Crush

Every inmate dance now. If by some chance yesterday you didn’t see the first full trailer for Season 2 of “Orange Is the New Black,” I envy you the momentary anticipation before you click the play button right now. If you have already watched it, multiple times, like me I don’t envy you the burning agony of knowing how far away June 6 is. Having viewed the clip many (many, many, many) times, I have a few key thoughts.



1. Damn, Piper.

Time in the SHU has left our girl a changed woman.

2. Dayum, Vee.

Hot damn, am I excited for a new badass to make things interesting.

3. Aw, damn, Alex.

So far the split-second shot of Alex looks to be in flashback.

Netflix also released some new production stills from the season. Looks like the shot of Piper and Alex is from the same scene in the trailer.



(You can check out some more of the images here.)

Oh, and here’s a little tease from the cast. As with the show, there’s too much Larry. Dammit, June 6 is also too far away. Happy weekend, all.


Thursday, April 17, 2014

May the odds be ever in Lauren's favor

So, Lauren made it to the finals of the AfterEllen Hunger Games. It has been a long, long, crazy path. But, if you still have a few more voting clicks left in you, please send Zoie Palmer Army on to glorious victory. Why? Like you have to ask.

Why Lauren? The real question is, why not Lauren? Dr. Lauren Lewis is a human in a Fae world. A doctor and an activist. A lover and a fighter. Also, don’t get me started on her incredibly Hotpants. She may not have the sheer brawn or the super powers or the sharp teeth as some of her now vanquished Hunger Games competitors. But she makes up all for it with smarts. Damn, is she smart. So smart she can turn the supernatural into mere mortals. She knows all she needs is a level playing field to win any fight. Stronger than her? Not pumped pull of junk-melting STDs, you aren’t. Bigger than her? Please, nothing is bigger than Dr. Lauren Lewis’ brain. The woman has science on her side. Also, her Magical Vagina. Those odds, well, you just can’t beat.

And if that doesn’t convince you, there are always boobs.



Vote for Lauren here. You can vote every hour until 5 p.m. EST Friday.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Endgame. Endgame. Endgame.

Fine, you win, “Glee.” I will watch for endgame. I will watch because of Brittana. I will watch to see their endgame. Are you happy now? ARE YOU HAPPY? Damn you.



p.s. I reserve the right to change my mind if the so-called endgame sucks, per usual.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Tie Me Up, Taxes Me Down Tuesday

I remain convinces that Ellen Page came out so she could wear ties on the red carpet. KIDDING! It’s a joke. I love that tiny Canadian. Her coming out was a courageous personal choice and not a shallow sartorial choice. Also, she totally wore ties before, too. Like, a bunch. Really. Sure, not three ties in three consecutive public appearances. But, you know, still. Anyway. Since today is tax day in the U.S., I thought I’d make your day a little less tiring by showcasing some more of the Other Ellen in her favorite neckwear of later. May Tie Tuesday tie you into fewer knots because of all those numbers and boxes and 1040/1099/4868 forms. Now, off to find my damn receipts.

Academy Awards


GLAAD Awards


MTV Movie Awards

Monday, April 14, 2014

Save the experimental evolutionary developmental biologist, save the world

You wait and you wait and you wait and you almost forget what you were waiting for. Almost. And then, BOOM, it is back. They are back. Tatiana Maslany is back (back, back, back, back, back, back…and apparently back). When last we saw her (and all her incarnations) it was early June. That’s a long time to stew in the delicious clonespiracy. But what I hadn’t forgotten is how much I love Cosima. And, evil as it is on their parts, how much I care about her illness. Terribly brilliant, that move – with emphasis on the terrible part. Though if it means lots of scenes of Delphine nursing Cosima her little puppy back to health, I can accept it. Oh, Saturday, get here faster.




p.s. Last Monday I thought the show was coming back that Saturday. And when I realized I had an extra week to wait I had a tiny mental breakdown. Six. More. Days.

Friday, April 11, 2014

My Weekend Crush

So yesterday someone threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton while she was giving a speech in Las Vegas. She wasn’t hurt, or hit, and the offending hurler was promptly arrested. But afterward our former Secretary of State and current Coolest Lady on the Planet was quick with a joke. And, kittens, what a joke it was.

“Thank goodness she didn’t play softball like I did.”

That’s right, suckers, our future President of the United States played softball. I feel like this is important information I should have already know. I feel like a little bit less of a lesbian for not knowing it. But now that I know, I will cherish this information forever. Man, do I want this lady to be the leader of the free world. I am so ready for Hillary. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Back to the Nest

Someone has been reading my dream journal again. The Hollywood Gods have granted another of my fondest wishes, by teaming Amy Poehler and Tina Fey back together for another movie. Oh, yeah – I own “Baby Mama.” Like you had to ask. Sheesh.

The duo will star in the comedy, “The Nest,” as two adult sisters. I’m sorry, that sound was me squealing with delight. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the sisters decide to throw one last epic party at their parent’s house before it is sold. The script is by longtime “SNL” writer and “30 Rock” guest star Paula Pell. And the movie will be directed by Jason Moore, who also helmed “Pitch Perfect.” Sorry, yes, that was just me squealing with delight again.

I don’t know when the movie will be out but fuck yeah I will be there. I think this deserves a return of Amy and Tina’s “Sexy Tennis” from the archives. Yes, yes, YAAASS.


Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Freedom to Accessorize

So yesterday after “Lost Girl” aired its finale on Syfy (hint, hint – read the Rewind Mini-Cap here), the company released a limited edition of Bo’s Magical Vagina Labrys “Freedom to Love” necklace. And, yes, believe me, it still looks like something Georgia O’Keeffe would have painted. The good news: It was created as a benefit for Benefit Plan Canada’s Because I Am A Girl Initiative, which works to empower women and girls by promoting gender equality. The bad news: It is already sold out. But, there should be more good news coming because they are restocking. Also, come on, it still looks a lot like lady bits. I rest my case.

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

I Ship It

Yeah, admit it, this is how you feel every time you turn on the TV. I pretty much have had this song in my head all weekend.[Hat tip, yellerbelly!] Damn right, I ship it.

p.s. Keep voting for the remaining members of Team Snarker (I know we have to eat our own in the Lauren v. Bette battle, but may the best badass win) in the AfterEllen March Madness: Hunger Games.

Monday, April 07, 2014

This...Is...CERSEI!

You know what I love (besides puppies and pizza and another p-word that could be crude or could mean a cat)? I love when the real-life persona is completely dichotomous from how much of the public perceives them. Like, of course, Lena Headey. The eternal lesbian heartthrob (Luce, Luce, wherefore art thou, Luce) is famous now for, of course, entirely different reasons. Most of the world knows her as the icy, cunning and endlessly ambitious Cersei Lannister. But, sweet merciful Zeus, is she ever really the opposite. Or, at least appears to be so in all her public appearances and her Instagram account. Is it possible to have a crush on someone’s Instagram account? Too late, I already do.

Lena is pretty much the polar opposite of Cersei. In fact, I think goofball might be the best descriptor. And it is just glorious.







Oh, and don’t forget her turning the House of Lannister patriarch into a loveable beach bum.



Knowing all this simply makes me giggle even more as fourth season of “Game of Thrones” returned this weekend.

Friday, April 04, 2014

My Weekend Crush

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I get weepy about commercials. Maybe it’s a family having that first cup of coffee together after a long period apart. Or a good dog who finally gets a forever home. Or any of those damn Google Chrome commercials. I can’t help it. Beneath this ink-black heart is a soft, marshmallow center. But you know what really, really chokes me up? When commercials treat what has for so long been considered “other” – race, gender, sexuality, whathaveyou – as something of worth that is worth presenting. So all these advertisers who include LGBT people and families, man, do I get a little verklempt. I know the cynical, hard side of my heart should say we’ve become just another commodity to sell a product. But if the all-mighty dollar is in a way the greatest equalizer. The “values” that companies once courted now include us. And, in fact, not accepting us as another part of the world worth recognizing has in fact become the opposite of profitable. The new CEO of Mozilla just resigned because of outrage caused by the disclosure of his contributions to the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8. I can’t imagine anything close to that happening 10 years ago. But today, to be anti-gay is quite simply bad for business.

But you know what really, really, really chokes me up? When a company goes out of its way not only to include us, but to defend us. Sure, show a gay couple in your ad. But when the haters come out, it’s how you respond that often shows the truest of colors. So this weekend my crush is on that most wholesome of things. It’s on the goodness of Honey Made graham crackers, that simple snack for kindergarteners everywhere and the foundation for every great s’more. Last month the company put out a commercial titled “This is Wholesome,” which featured gay and interracial couples. And, of course, the crazies emerged. But what they did afterward? Well, let’s just say I’m going to go buy a box of Honey Maid this weekend and have a good, happy cry. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, April 03, 2014

Somewhere over the Cheno

If you want a reminder of how “Glee” absolutely, positively wasted its return cameo of Kristin Chenoweth the last few episodes, please enjoy two minutes of our favorite pocket-sized human reminding everyone that giving Gwyneth Paltrow multiple solos instead of her was an absolute joke. What a waste of Cheno.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

My First Time: Film Edition

So last week (or was it the week before – time you blurry vixen, you) the AfterEllen Huddle question was one I rather liked, but didn’t have time to participate in. It was simply, “What was your first lesbian film?”

You always remember your first, right? Sort of. I think my first was “Go Fish.” It is, at least, the first that made a positive impression on me about lesbian life and love. (Though not necessarily about lesbian acting.) I think that’s why I still have such a soft spot for (and, yes, own) the movie. It was the first film to present being gay as something that could be very normal and not at all traumatic or tragic that I can recall.

While thinking about what my first (film) was, I also got to thinking about the first experience of seeing it. How different that experience must be for (clears throat) The Youths of Today. In order to watch a lesbian movie back in the day you had to either 1) Go to the theater and sit in the dark with a bunch of other people, or 2) Go to the video store and try to slip in The Big Lesbo movie in between a copy of “Forrest Gump” and “Reality Bites.” There was a public declaration either way. And, depending on your level of outness at the time, a degree of courage it took to buy that ticket or bring your rental to the counter. I remember it well, because when I started watching my first gay movies I definitely was not out.

Figuring it all out today just takes a couple downloads and, boom – you’re in gay movie heaven. There is so much more privacy (depending on your level of paranoia about the NSA) today to sit and watch the gay from the comfort of your own home without anyone else being the wiser.

I can’t even imagine how much easier it is now, with so much available at a few clicks. But, also, there was something exhilarating about actually seeing that first film out in the big wide world. I know lots probably still do as well.

Though, despite our advances in technology, some things remain universal. No matter the delivery method, there will always be a period in our burgeoning coming out where we consume every.single.lesbian.movie there is in an attempt to see ourselves. Granted, TV gives us a lot more to look at these days as well. But there’s nothing like those nights – probably after the rest of the house has gone to sleep – when you sit and watch the magic of the movies. Even the bad ones. Yeah, “Bar Girls,” that means you.

Ah, memories. So, tell me, what was your first? And how did you watch? And remember, this is for science, so be honest.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Tank Top Tuesday: Team Snarker Edition

Right, so the bloodletting continues over at the AfterEllen March Madness: The Hunger Games. So far in Round 2 all four of my Team Snarker picks are still alive (that’s Lauren, Alex, Bette and Brittany) – for now. But Britt-Britt is lagging behind Crazy Eyes. I mean, I get it. Pie throwing is formidable. But come on S.S. Brittana, the ship was just righting itself! Anyway to sweeten the voting pot, here is some incentive. Both in tank top and gif form. Voting continues over at AfterEllen today until 6 p.m. You can vote once an hour. So get a clicking. If you can’t vote for tank tops, what can you vote for?

Lauren Lewis a.k.a. Dr. Hotpants


She can turn any Fae human. And melt their junk. Bring it.



Alex Vause a.k.a. The Glasses


She can do things with her tongue that will ruin you forever. Boom.



Bette Porter a.k.a. Alpha Bette


She is Bette Fucking Porter. Period.



Brittany S. Pierce a.k.a. The World’s Foremost Expert in the Field of Santana Lopez


Brittana. Is. Endgame.



Right, so. You know, vote Team Snarker.