Music Monday: ABBA-solutely Hilarious

OK, OK. One last guaranteed mood lifter from this past holiday season. Truly, if you don’t at very least giggle at Kate McKinnon, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph and Bowen Yang trying not to break while singing ABBA into each other’s faces you may need to seek medical help. Also, this album is a great option for belated Christmas gifts for those mothers and/or their gay sons you forgot about in December. Happy Monday, kittens.

Home on the Farm

Look, I knew Kate McKinnon returning to SNL for the first time to host would be good. I did not expect it would be Lesbian Tampon Farmers good. But how can you resist when it brings us Kate McEthridge (see what I did there?) together with Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph and Billie Eilish as fellow tampon farmers (also I see you, Paula Pell, getting in on the lesbian jokes). From the acoustic guitars to the muscle shirts, it’s a gay folk singer chef’s kiss. Kate’s SNL was also the queer female comic equivalent of those get you a gal who can do both memes. From Crunchy Granola Dyke to Marlene Dietrich stan. What can’t Kate do?

What a Wonder

Will everyone wear a damn mask and stop going out in non-household groups so I can see this movie in the theaters sometimes before the world ends? I have no idea how they’re going to explain Steve’s return (parachute pants and all). And I have no idea how Kristen Wiig morphs into, well, that (here, kitty kitty). But, damn, do I want to find out. Of all the imagery in this trailer, I think I’m most excited to see we’re getting more flashback to Amazon life and Themyscira. I’m also thrilled to see the Amazons wearing full-body suits with leggings. Like, they can’t always fight in skirt, OK?

Like, Totally Wonder Woman

That was – as the kids in 1984 would say – totally tubular. The new “Wonder Woman”/”Stranger Things” trailer has me all jazzed to jump in my DeLorean and go to the mall. I have no idea how Steve Trevor is back, and still young and hot. And I’m not fooled by Kristen Wiig, that woman is a Cheetah in nerd’s clothing. I thought “Wonder Woman” was an excellent superhero movie – one of my favorites. And with Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot teaming up again my hopes are just as high.

And the trailer even gives us a tantalizing glimpse of Themyscira. Though, with all due respect to the cowbell, this trailer needs more Amazons. But then, really, everything could use more amazon. Bitchin’ soundtrack though. And this new battle armor is so freakin rad. So rad.

Annuale of the Month

I feel like – even though biologically we should be allowed to do it once a month – all women should be permitted to act out this Annuale SNL ad once a year. And I am calling my annual Annuale this week. Someone, fetch me my fire axe.

All the (Amazing) Ladies

Two gay ladies and the future President of the United States walk into a room. No, seriously, this happened. Yesterday Ellen had Hillary Clinton and all the ladies from the new “Ghostbusters” reboot on one show. It was like the MRA’s biggest nightmare scenario.

Anyway, because I’m not alert enough to schedule my DVR, I missed recording the show. But from the online clips it looked pretty amazing.

Like, here’s Hillary talking about the election:



And, like, here’s the “Ghostbusters” cast talking about each other:



Dammit, why didn’t I record this show? Anyway. May our futures be filled with many more happy appearances by amazing these ladies. Perhaps we should all just watch this show on repeat until Nov. 8 to avoid all the ugliness that is no doubt and sadly coming for all of them in the coming months. Oy, universe. Do better.

My Weekend Crush

You guys, I have said it once and I will say it again, I absolutely cannot wait to buy a gazillion tickets to see “Ghostbusters” this summer. Keep crying, baby-men. Keep on crying. I hope they offer “male tears” as a popcorn flavoring in the theaters. Happy lady ghostbusting and weekend, all.

p.s. I think Leslie and Kate are totally gonna steal this movie from Melissa and Krsiten and I am totally OK with that.

My Weekend Crush

Hell to the yeah, I’m gonna call these ladies. Look, even if the trailer for the new “Ghostbusters” film didn’t look great (but it does look great because, hello, Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones), I would still be first in line to buy tickets. Because nothing makes me happier than supporting entertainment that drives misogynistic fanboys crazy. Would it have been nice if they’d maybe also made Leslie’s character a scientist? Yes, probably. But all is forgiven thanks to Kate’s little wink. Oh, to be that proton gun. Bring on the ectoplasm. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Crush

Here.For.It. Ever since the all-female "Ghostbusters" was announced I've been as thrilled as the misogynistic fanboys have been incensed at its existence. Which is to say as pissed and pouty as they are is as excited and overjoyed as I am. Times three. Now come the four badass character posters for Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon in full Ghostbuster gear. Which means we have another chance to luxuriate in a bath of fresh Male Tears. Suck it, dudes. This movie is gonna be awesome and there's nothing you can do about it but cry. Admit it, you'd call those ladies any day, ghosts or no ghosts. Happy weekend, all.

Who Ya Gonna Call Out

Ugh, people sometimes. Sorry, “people” is probably too vague. Yes, people are terrible, a lot. Like the asshole dentist who illegally killed a beloved lion. And the vile lady who shot a “very dangerous” giraffe. And the horrible dude who grilled bacon on the end of his machine gun – who also happens to be running for president. No, I’m not talking about those terrible people. I’m talking about the terrible people who would talk shit about a group of famous ladies visiting sick children in a hospital. That kind of terrible.

Over the weekend the cast of the new “Ghostbusters” reboot – Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones – all came in costume to meet with patients at Boston’s Tufts Medical Center and its Floating Hospital for Children. Sounds great, right? Wonderful, yes? No one could possibly think this was a bad thing, eh? WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong. Sometimes my rational brain forgets that sexism exists and then when it rears its ugly, predictable head again I’m like, oh, duh. People are terrible.

So, oh course, after Tufts proudly posted on its Facebook page how great it was for Melissa, Kristen, Kate and Leslie to stop by, its page was deluged by a bunch of dudes who still have their tightie whities in a bunch because an all-female reboot of “Ghostbusters” is being made. Wow, if you can’t let it go long enough to be happy that the days of some kids got brightened (which, by the way, they requested by posting a sign to the “Ghostbusters” cast, who then heeded its call), your life must be incredibly sad.

Please note how no such public outcry happens when the Chris Evans and Chris Pratts of the world (Jesus, Marvel, find a new first name for your lead actors) do similar children’s hospital visits.

Like I was saying, ugh, people. Well the one good thing is each time I see a new cast picture of these ladies running around in their coveralls I get that much more excited for this movie. Who ya gonna call out? Sexist trolls, all day long.

Who you gonna call?

It came across my Twitter feel like a fever dream. “New All-Female Ghostbusters Cast Chosen!” And then I saw who the new all-female Ghostbusters would be. “Melissa McCarth! Kristen Wiig! Kate McKinnon! Leslie Jones!” YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! *pause to catch breath, regain composure, freak out again* YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The idea of flipping the gender switch on the classic should not be so extraordinary, yet it is. It should not be so exceptional, yet it is. It should not be so experimental, yet it is.

And of course, some dudes already have their fedoras in a wad about the whole thing. How could they. Pandering. Etc. Yet it’s so incredibly commonplace to have a movie with a mostly male cast, that no one even blinks an eye. Consider “The Loft,” which I can’t stop seeing fucking commercials for these days. A bunch of dudes are greatly inconvenienced when a dead woman shows up in the crashpad. No one has accused that movie of pandering to the rich white male demographic, which it portrays. It’s just a thriller. Consider all “The Hangover” movies. A bunch of dudes do stupid shit while drunk. No one has accused that movie of pandering to the overgrown frat boy demographic, which it portrays. It’s just a comedy. Consider “The Expendables,” if you must. A bunch of past-their-prime action stars blow shit up. OK, fine, people accuse it of pandering to the meathead demographic. But it’s still just an action movie.

But put all women in it and it’s a women’s comedy or women’s drama or – shudder – the dreaded chick flick. Are women’s lives and existence so unrelatable to men that we must always identify our gender beforehand so as to separate it from the default, which is – of course – male?

Hey, world, putting women in a movie isn’t a gimmick. Putting women in a movie is the world. Well, it’s 51 percent of the world, at least. What’s a gimmick, what’s pandering, is how much screentime the other 49 percent is allowed to hog right now.

Naked Lady Monday

All this politics can make a girl weary. So while tomorrow we will all have our eyes glued to the Electoral College, today here is a little something else to ogle as a momentary distraction. And if that momentary distraction is in the form of a nude Kate Winslet, all the better. So here are some more lovely distractions to ogle – in a respectful way, of course. If it has got to be Monday, the ladies might as well be naked. But on Tuesday, be sure to vote.

Kristen Wiig

Funny is sexy. Case in point.

Olivia Wilde

Yet another reason to hate the existence of white jean jackets.

Charlize Theron

This was originally shot for a watch ad. To which I say, what watch?

Winona Ryder

I approve of this wardrobe malfunction.

Kerry Washington

If she dresses like this on “Scandal,” I definitely need to start watching.

Our Firefighter Friends

Let’s hear it for first responders. Also, abs.

Over the Rainbow

I’m going to miss the hell out of Kristen Wiig on “Saturday Night Live.” It’s not that all her sketches were hilarious, or even all her characters beloved (like, seriously, please put Gilly on permanent detention). But it’s that she was a consummate Not Ready For Prime Time Player. A professional willing to do anything for the laugh. A woman who defied in her every fiber the tired, ridiculous notion that girls aren’t as funny as guys. And just the beating, lovely heart of this SNL cast. I will miss the ultimate one-upper Penelope. I will miss the endearingly overenthusiastic Target Lady. I will miss not-so-secretly lesbian reporter Michelle Dison. I will miss her dead-on amazing Bjork (and Suze Ormand and Kathie Lee Gifford and Drew Barrymore and crazy-eyes Bachmann). And, yes, I will even miss that creepy baby-hands singing sister with the hideous hairline.

I am, however, bolster by the reassuring knowledge that this most definitely will not be the last we see of Kristen. Her “Bridesmaids” success was just the tip of the proverbial hilarity iceberg when it comes to her potential. She’ll be making us laugh for years and years to come. But for this season of change and graduation and rebirth, I bid her a loving adieu from the show that made her a household name and everyone who happened to be home on a Saturday night over the last seven years fall madly and unconditionally in love. Thanks for showing us the rainbow, my dear.

[International friends, check it out here.]

Vacation Vixen: Maya Rudolph & Kristen Wiig

I would like Maya and Kristen to become the next Tina & Amy. And I would like both comedy couples to make hilarious movies/TV/home videos they let us watch and laugh at forever and ever. Amen.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Gosh you know what we haven’t done in a while? A nice long, slow gender fuck. But you know how I like to keep things classy around here, right? So how about we do it in black and white. Yeah, just like that. Some things you don’t need to over think. Or, more accurately, images like above of Christina Hendricks in a dress shirt and tie make it difficult for me to think.

Charlize Theron
Nicole Kidman


Drew Barrymore
Eva Green


Filippa Hamilton
Cate Blanchett


Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista
Kristen Wiig

In case that last image looks familiar, it should. That’s Yves Saint Laurent’s iconic Le Smoking tuxedo.

Now, If only they’d used this NSFW (Alert: NSFW!) pose instead. Next time, next time.

So, was it good for you?

My Weekend Crush

Women who make me laugh are always sexy. There is something fearless about a person who just gives herself over to the absurdity of it all and lets her body become a punchline. Kristen Wiig, who could easily get by by being just lanky and beautiful, makes it look effortless. As the last female powerhouse performer left on “Saturday Night Live,” it was up to Kristen to take up the torch left by such greats as Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin, Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler before her. She has done it all with an abandon that is both admirable and, well, just plain funny. So I was especially pleased to see her get a much-deserved Emmy nomination in a category packed with ridiculously talented women including her former SNL co-star Amy and pocket-sized cutie Kristin Chenoweth. Wherever she pops up, be it in small roles like “Knocked Up” or “Ghost Town,” she shines with her combination of daffy and deadpan. And no one makes hitting on hot girls more painfully awkward or endearing than Kristen.

Now, thanks to a role in the upcoming Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore rollerderby flick “Whip It!,” it looks like we can add daredevil demigod to that list. (Check out my post on the trailer at AfterEllen.com later today.) Be your own hero, indeed. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday

I am decidedly not blonde. This isn’t the beginning of a bad blonde joke or any such hair color-based disparagement; it’s just a fact. I’ve also never dated a blonde. Not that I have anything against blondes. Hello, Jodie Foster. Sit a little closer, Kate Winslet. Don’t be shy, Leisha Hailey. I’ve heard that blondes have more fun. Also, gentlemen prefer them. But what I know for sure is that whenever I see blonde locks and tank tops, I automatically think summer. And, gosh, who doesn’t like summer?

Mary McCormack

Naomi WattsKristen BellKristen WiigUma ThurmanKristin ChenowethElisha CuthbertScarlett JohanssonElisabeth RohmPortia de Rossi[Click each to embiggen...hey, no blonde jokes!]