Becoming Highsmith

Mark me down as intrigued, again, but in a gayer way. So Shailene Woodley, Cara Delevigne and Noémie Merlant will co-star in a biopic of queer novelist extraordinaire Patricia Highsmith of “The Talented Mr. Ripley” and “The Price of Salt” (you know, “Carol”) fame. Now, I love Noémie from “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” and “Tar,” of course. And I have varying degrees of affection for Cara and Shailene (like, not to get all in my 2016 feelings, but she was pretty anti-Hillary and dated Aaron “immunized” Rodgers forever so…).

Shailene will play Highsmith, and Cara and Noémie will play women she has relationships with. According to Deadline, the film will be fashioned like a horror movie which, what? Per Deadline:

“Titled The Murderous Miss Highsmith, the film will reimagine the author’s life as a horror movie, focusing on the formative period just before she wrote her most celebrated work, The Talented Mr. Ripley, which was partly inspired by her doomed relationships with two women.”

OK, well, I’m always here for more and better representation of LGBTQ+ people and queer women in particular (look, you have to root for the home team). The film is being produced by indie standouts Killer Films and be co-produced by queer indie producer extraordinaire Christine Vachon (of “Go Fish,” “Boys Don’t Cry,” “Carol” and many other great and very queer films fame). So I will definitely be watching. I’m still not sure about the horror angle, but as long as it’s super gay I will allow it. True of movies and, honestly, much of life. If it’s super gay, I’ll allow it.

An Open Letter to Straight White Ladies

Dear Straight White Women:

Please stop marrying and getting engaged to straight white men with reprehensible politics. Yes, I know, this is kind of your “thing.” More of you voted for Trump — both damn times — than for Hillary or Joe.

I know, white ladies, you cling to the fantasy that white dudes will somehow protect you. You appear to be laboring under the misperception that supporting those controlling all the levers of power will somehow give you special access to the power. But, my dear buttercups, it most certainly will not.

One need only look at how things are going with the ever-dwindling Constitutional right to abortion in these here United States to realize the fallacy of gender equality in America. Cis men, those in power and those without, appear all too content to let women and those who can give birth to lead the fight to keep Roe. But, hey ladies, it’s OK because your straight white man loves you and is one of the good ones.

Anyway, if the Shailene Woodley (who was “not sold” on Hillary, but will happily “agree to disagree” with her fiance/noted liar/COVID enthusiast Aaron Rodgers on politics) and Cheryl Hines (who had to clarify that her husband/anti-vax crusader/all-around nutter RFK Jr’s comparison of vaccine mandates to the Holocaust were “not a reflection of my own” opinions) of the world would just stop making excuses for their Bad Men, maybe we could get somewhere.

Yes, yes — I know some of you will say, but it’s up to these women to talk some sense into their menfolk. We’ll never get anywhere without honest debate! But I doubt that’s happening with the “agree to disagree” stance too many take when it comes to politics. This is what happens when you know no matter who wins an election, you will still have enough money to do whatever you want anyway. This is the dreaded kind of white feminism that is all window dressing.

Privilege turns politics is an esoteric exercise without too many immediate personal real-world consequences — other than the largest existential threats. Rich, privileged white women will still be able to get abortions, even if Roe is overturned. Rich, privileged white women will still be able to send their kids to the best schools, while the rest of us struggle with lunatic MAGA school boards banning non-existent CRT and the mention of race, slavery and/or anything bad white people may have done during the course of human history. And the same goes for so many other topics the GOP and Trump SCOTUS are gunning for right now. Truly, getting to not think about politics itself is a damn privilege.

In conclusion, like come on, white ladies. This really shouldn’t be that hard. In the end, if you wanna marry the RFK Jr.s and Aaron “I’m immunized” Rodgers of the world, I guess that’s your business. But we don’t have to continue thinking you care about the larger world, when who you live with shows us you certainly do not.

Sincerely,

Ms. Snarker

Out Developments

Right, I may have calmed down a little from last week (also because I’m about to go on vacation). So how about we get maybe possibly future excited for some new projects that hopefully (maybe, hopefully) will bring us some new queer lady stories. Development and casting news has come out about a two new premium networks shows in particular that have queer potential.

The first is the HBO adaptation of the videogame series “Last of Us.” Now, I’m not a gamer. But even I know that the “Last of Us” franchise features prominent female queer characters. Maybe it was the Ellie and Dina gifs all over my timeline when it came out a that tipped me off. I also know things don’t really get gay until the game’s sequel, Part II. So I don’t know what we can expect on the queer front from the new HBO series based on the apocalyptic video game. But, for once when referring to a show about a video game, I’d love if they kept it close to the source material.

What I do know is that they’ve cast “Fringe”/”Mindhunter” start Anna Torv in a key role as smuggler Tess and “Game of Throne” badass Bella Ramsey in the even keyer (whatever, it’s a pandemic still, who grammars) Ellie! You might remember Bella Lyanna Mormont, the tiny warrior nobleswoman of Bear Island. I know I might be grasping at tiny little gay straws here, but I feel like they could definitely Make It Gay™, like the original videogame story. Or, why stop there, with Anna in the show please Make It Gayer™. But then I say that about everything. Game on, queers.

The second new development that immediately had my gay lady ears perked up is the adaptation of the No. 1 bestselling nonfiction book “Three Women.” Shailene Woodley has been attached to star in the new Showtime series. As soon as I heard the premise for “Three Women,” I knew there would be some queer up in there.

Described as “an intimate, haunting portrayal of American female desire, three women are on a crash course to radically overturn their lives.” The character of Sloane is particular is described as “a successful restaurant owner in an exclusive enclave of the Northeast, is happily married to a man who likes to watch her have sex with other men and women.”

Yeah, I dunno how hopeful to get about that since I have not read the book it was based on. But, I’d be interested to see who they cast as Sloane. Woodley is playing the writer character in the series adaptation, so I’d field any suggestions.

Holding Out for a Heroine

Hey, how about a really late and totally unsolicited movie review? It’s not timely or topical. You’re welcome! But it is what I watched over the weekend, so there you go. I finally saw “Insurgent,” which I had been relatively-to-pretty interested in seeing since last year’s “Divergent” came out. While the first film wasn’t up to the level of “Hunger Games” (the dystopian young-adult series it will inevitably always be compared to because we have so few female heroines starring in their own film franchises), it was good enough for me to want more. Plus there is Kate Winslet looking immaculately, albeit one-dimensionally, evil.

But now, after seeing the second film, wow, am I bummed out about this series. It’s not that the simplistic nature of these New World Order future fantasy stories that is the problem. Be it Districts of Factions, we all know the things are gonna suck for society until a hero breaks us all free. We get that, that’s how these things work. But what shouldn’t be part-and-parcel with that storyline – simply because the hero in question is female – is a whole lot of emo bullshit.

“Insurgent” took the focus off Tris’ agency and instead placed it all on her angst. I get it, Tris is sad. I get it, Tris feels guilty. I get it, Tris needs to work through her issues. We get it in dream sequences. We get it in virtual reality simulations. We get it in real life. Hell, she even does the standard-issue cutting off of her hair to show deep personal turmoil. It is the opposite yet companion trope to a woman finally taming her curly hair for a sophisticated new do. Blerg.

Our heroes don’t have to be perfect. Nor do they need to be emotionless robots – regardless of the continued commercial success of the “Terminator” series.” But to take a strong character and break her down into a mopey, bad decision machine controlled by her uncontrollable feelings is not what I signed up for. This was more therapy session than action flick. I signed up for a revolution, not some insipid processing.

And thus ends this totally unrequested, incredibly tardy movie review. Fin.