My Weekend Crush

Fine, last one. Oh Sarah. Oh Holland. Look at those two love birds. And the casual legs up on the table. Now that’s how you sapphic at the Vanity Fair Oscars party. Smooch on, ladies. Smooch on. Happy weekend, all.

Oscar GGALGG(BBTWTTO)

So, let’s just be honest, those Oscars were pretty straight. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Kinda. But I’m pretty sure the live telecast featured zero – at least by my count – live lesbians. Yeah, sure, they featured Jane Lynch in a pre-recorded joke ad for the future YouTube Academy Awards (which is a real thing, by the way, hello 2029). And, OK, fine – Barbra Streisand showed up and sang. So there’s that. But I don’t think the camera ever panned to Oscar-nominated Tig Notaro once (admittedly, I could have missed a split-second shot, but I don’t think I did.) So I will rectify that by featuring the sapphics of the red carpet. So welcome to Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gals By Bringing Their Wives to the Oscars (GGALGGBBTWTTO, duh)

Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne

So they didn’t take home the best doc Oscar for “Come See Me In the Good Light,” but what lesbian couple wants a shiny naked man in their bedroom anyway?

Brandi Carlile & Catherine Carlile

Brandi’s suit is very Captain von Trapp and I’m into it.

Abby Wambach & Glennon Doyle

I wish Abby had a tie, but bonus points for the pins. (And, of course, the bag.)

Robby Hoffman & Gabby Windey

Girls really do just love funny little guys*. (*As a Gen Xer, I reserve the right to use guys in a non-gendered way courtesy “The Electric Company” forever)

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Fine, they aren’t married that we know about. Which, come on Sarah, put a ring on that.

Auli'i Cravalho

Fine, I had to give you at least one single lady. Not that there aren’t legions of age-appropriate wlws clamouring to wife her up.

p.s. I was rooting for “Sinners,” and all I can say about “One Battle After Another” having a big night is that I’m very happy for Maya Rudloph. Oh, and I’m happy Sean Penn didn’t want to attend.

p.p.s. I thought the show was overall pretty good, Conan landed some magnificent hits, and Amy Madigan and Ed Harris are a reminder that straights can have good marriages too.

The Gay Emmys

So how gay were the Emmys? The Oscars better step it up this year, because the Rainbow Mafia looked good, won good at this year’s TV awards fest. I won’t bore you with all the straight winners, etc. etc. (Like, how did I not know that Naomi Watts and Billy Crudup were married? The Straights, I swear.) Anyway, here are the most notably queer shit at this year’s award show.

Jodie Fucking Foster

Really and truly I cannot get enough of this wildly happy, wildly successful, wildly gay era of Jodie’s life and career. Everytime I see her all glammed up with with Alexandra Hedison I think, see, big gay dreams can come true. I hope Jodie signs up for some kind of prestige limited TV series every few years (her, Kate Winslet and Gillian Anderson can rotate seasons) to keep her and Alex on the awards part circuit for our personal enjoyment? What? We can’t get a little residual happiness off her big gay glow these days?

Hacks & Hannah Einbinder

Yes, I know, it’s inappropriate to secretly be an Avorah shipper. But, I mean, deep down we’d all at least like to see what would have happened if Ava hadn’t woken up from that dream when she did, right?

Niecy Nash-Betts & wife Jessica Betts

Honestly, does Niecy not not have the most handsome arm candy always at these things? I swear. It’s almost unfair.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Whereas these two always look like the royal court for the May-December Queer Prom.

Nava Mau & Jessica Gunning

The “Baby Reindeer” LGBTQ+ cast broke ground both with Nava’s nomination and Jessica’s win. Which means I probably should watch “Baby Reindeer” after all, shouldn’t I?

Jane Lynch & Sue Sylvester

I only wish Jane and Ilona Maher interacted onstage instead of Coach Beard, for obvious reasons.

Meredith Baxter & Other TV Moms

Lest we forget, the mom from “Family Ties” came out like 15 years ago. So, my grade-school crush on Michael J. Fox remains vindicated.

Ayo Edebiri & Reba

When you come out as queer, you need to stand next to random queer icons for photos. And, like, I think Reba qualifies, but I may need to consult the rule book since I never followed contemporary country close enough to know for sure about her.

Kristen Kish

Like all that AND she can cook. Again, unfair.

Lily Gladstone & Greta Lee

Like, yeah I know Greta is married to a fella and whatnot. But like you’d hold Lily’s hand too, and you know it.

Jodie & Kali Reis

I amend my previous statement, where I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series. I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series that features out LGBTQ+ cast and other marginalized voices. Because, you want more pictures like this too, right? Right.

My Weekend (Lesbian Party Bus) Crush

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Ladies, gentlemen, thems and theys, we have a new “dance like nobody's watching”-goal to aspire to. Let us all enjoy this weekend like celesbians on a Lesbian Party Bus. Now, you may ask, what is a Lesbian Party Bus? Well, it’s a bus filled with famous lesbians, their significant others and closest friends. In short, it’s a Lesbian Party Bus. Thanks to an exhaustive and masterful display of journalisming over at Autostraddle, we know all of the LPB participants. A quick rundown includes celesbian couples Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor, Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne, and Abby Wambach & Glennon Doyle. Also on board were Allison Janney, Carla Gallo, “The Fosters” alum Sherri Saum, “The Talk” co-host Amanda Kloots, director Lee Rose, and a coupla requisite dudes. Again, you can see how this wildly interesting pack is all connected here. But I just want to say if I every have the occasion to rent a party bus and pack it with a host of my most dear and talented friends, you’d better fucking believe we’re going to do a drunken singalong to “Closer to Fine.” This is perhaps the most relatable any celesbian has ever been. Party like you’re on the Lesbian Party Bus, kittens. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend (SGALGG/GGALGG) Crush

While watching the Emmys on Monday I had the strangest sensations. Great winner after winner was named: Sheryl Lee Ralph, Quinta Brunson, Jennifer Coolidge, Lizzo, Jean Smart. Did I just experience JOY from an award show? Granted, the telecast ended up fizzling toward the end and then limped to the finish. And, of course, as with any award show, there was plenty of SGALGG. There were also plenty of GGALGG, as is now also always refreshingly the case. So please enjoy these moments of JOY and ladies enjoying being in the presence of other ladies. Though, if seeing newly minted Emmy winners Jean Smart and Sheryl Lee Ralph SGALGGing together doesn’t make you happy, what could? Happy weekend, all.

Jean Smart & Everyone

I mean, who wouldn’t want a chance to hold Jean’s hand, like Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s Rachel Brosnahan and Yellowjacket’s Tawny Cypress.

Or Maisel’s Alex Borstein and Yellowjackets co-stars Christina Ricci and Melanie Lynskey. Christina appears to also want a handful, and who can blame her.

Jean Smart & Hannah Einbinder

But no one called DIBS as hard as her “Hacks” co-star Hannah Einbinder. They already dream kissed in the show, so real life truly cannot be a stretch. (Yes, I know I know, very May-December.)

Quinta Brunson & Hannah Waddingham

Can Hannah resurrect her Shame Nun from Game of Thrones to shame Jimmy Kimmel for his disrespectful stunt during Quinta’s acceptance speech? Because, yeah.

Zendaya & HoYeon Jung

The future looks bright for young Hollywood. Now how about a “Squid Game” and “Euphoria” cross-over? I mean, the characters are all desperate and destructive in their own ways.

Lizzo & Zendaya

Joy. That’s all, just joy.

Christina Ricci & Reese Witherspoon

Are Christina’s Misty from “Yellowjackets” and Reese’s Tracy Flick from “Election” kind of spiritual twins? I mean, at least in the striving department. Possibly not the (possible) cannibalism. Also, props to Tawny for rooting for some good femslash between these two.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Truly, no award show is complete without our royal lesbian couple gracing the red carpet, now with a new pert alternative lifestyle haircut to boot. Also, there arrival marks our official transition into GGALGG land.

Hannah Einbinder & Her Afterparty Suit

Did I mention she changed into this after the awards? Because, yes.

And it encouraged her to perhaps cheat, respectfully, on Jean. Just a little. But then if The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri wanted a bear bug, you’d give one too.

Ariana DeBose & Everyone

Not to be out-gayed, Ariana indeed had a gay old time at the Emmys. Like schmoozing with Amanda Seyfried.

Or canoodling with Tracie Thoms and Rosario Dawson in a mini “Rent” movie reunion.

And how about this epic kibitzing with none other than RuPaul across the aisle.

Finally, there’s this. Possibly the gayest thing to happen at the Emmys. Ariana. Bowen Yang. Kate McKinnon. Like the only way it could have been gayer is if Sarah and Holland photobombed them. Oh well, goals for next year.

Take a Chair

I don’t even care that Sandra Oh’s starring role in her new Netflix series seems aggressively (like, #metoo aggressively and everything) straight. I just care that it’s another showcase for her unendingly expressive face, and her equally unending talent. Plus, I like her with those bouncy curls for this role. They really work. Speaking of work, that’s two series in a row now that have starred Sandra. Not just the-best-friend-but-definitely-still-supporting-cast Sandra like so many of her other projects. “Killing Eve” has been a glorious fulfillment of abilities. I will not say potential, because she could always do this – it’s just that no one gave her the chance to shine quite this brightly before because, well, we all know the reasons because (cough, racism, sexism, racism, cough).

Anyway, her show seems topical and while it also seems aggressively straight hopefully its tightly strung zany energy results in some very fine comedy. And Amnada Peet is its creator, writer, showrunner and executive producer. Yes, that Amanda Peet.

Also, I saw you Holland Taylor. I hope Holland brought Sarah to the set and Sarah and Sandra got to meet and become BFFs and star in highest-grossing female buddy dramedy road trip movie of all time. And, as long as we’re shooting our shots here, make it gay. Boom, free idea, Hollywood. Wait, even better! I jus remembered Amanda and Sarah are like longtime BFFS already, so obvi, she was on set to see her BFF and her lady. So she’s already met Sandra. And that movie is a go. I love it when a plan comes together.

Vacation Vixen: Sarah & Holland

Looking back, do you know I didn’t have a single Vacation Vixen in 2020? Like, what a year not to take some fucking time off. I mean, I obviously it wasn’t a year to go jet setting. But still. Also my short break this April was bereavement leave, not a vacation. So, yeah, I guess that means I’m long overdue for a damn vacation. This week I’m giving myself a little time and the first more than one-night stay away in, well, too damn long. I’m going with vaccinated friends for a well-deserved getaway where we plan to drink wine and soak in a hot tub and just be our gay ass selves to the fullest on what would ordinarily be our Pride Weekend. But, as I never leave you high and dry, I get ready for a full week’s worth of queer women Vacation Vixens to fill the void starting with Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor. I hope these two never beak up and continue Carol-and-Therese-ing themselves into our little gay hearts forever. See you in the flip side, kittens (and Sarah and Holland’s puppy).

GGALGG: See Sarah Flirt

You may have noticed in yesterday’s (very very belated; sorry about that) post, there was no mention of the one and only Sarah Paulson. But, don’t worry, while Ms. Paulson and her Lover Holland (looking very American Lesbian Gothic, I might add) did not attend the ceremonies, they certainly made it out on the town that night. And they certainly made a splash at the Vanity Fair party. Or should I say Sarah made a splash while flirted with basically everyone. But, you know, in a fun way and not a threatening to her relationship with Holland Taylor way. So, as the youths of today would say, here are all the receipts of Sarah’s Oscar flirts.

Sarah & Holland

Duh, of course she’s gonna flirt with her lady.

Sarah & Elizabeth Banks

Bosley is clearly smitten and wants to sign Sarah up for the Angels.

Sarah & Whitney Cummings

Part flirting, part checking each other’s teeth for lettuce.

Sarah & Joan Collins

Is it weird I want Joan to throw Sarah into a pool? Like have I found my kink?

Sarah & Amanda Peet

Please, like lesbians and their straight BFFs don't flirt sometimes.

Sarah & Judith Light

Watching these two flirt counts as a religious experience – in the gay community.

Sarah & Judith & Katie Couric

That Sarah, always looking to add a third.

Sarah & Kathryn Hahn

How have they never worked/flirted together before?

Sarah & Kathryn & Janet Mock

See what I was saying about the third?

Sarah & Joni Mitchell

Shoot your shot, Sarah Paulson, shoot your shot.

SGALGG: Oscars Edition

Turns out not having a host meant we weren’t subjected to a number of dumb skits and stunts, plus far fewer video montages and far more female winners. And some of those female winners, and other gals in attendance, did some decidedly gay gal things. So, without further ado, your 2019 Oscars Straight (and Some Gay) Gals Acting Like Gay Gals.

Amy Poehler, Tina Fey & Maya Rudolph

That suit on Amy automatically makes her the gay-mo on this Tina and Maya sandwich.

Frances McDormand & Olivia Colman

I’d watch a whole movie of Police Chief Marge Gunderson trying to whip a petulant Queen Anne into shape. And making out.

Yalitza Aparicio & Elsie Fisher

I would like a movie about them starting a junior detective agency, and I would like it now. Bonus points if Elsie’s character only ever wears three-piece suits.

Michelle Yeoh & Awkwafina

Look, if Sarah and Holland can May-December, why not?

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Speaking of our favorite cross-seasonal couple, didn’t they look grand?

Helen Mirren & Sarah Paulson

Looks like Helen knows about Sarah’s love of mature women. And likes a challenge.

Melissa McCarthy & Glenn Close

I mean, they’re not doing anything particularly gay together – except wearing capes out in public.

Queen Latifah & Danai Gurira

The look Dani is giving here shows she knows exactly what it meant to lesbians to have Queen Latifah introduce “The Favourite.”

Allison Janney & Emma Stone

I don’t mean to kink shame, but Allison seems *really* excited about eating that stroopwafel/Emma Stone.

Regina King & Angela Bassett

They’re having an arm porn contest and we’re all the winners.

Tessa Thompson & Kiersey Clemons

Wait, does Janelle know?

Madonna & Lady Gaga

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