Monday, September 30, 2019

I Like (Songs) About Liking Girls

Well isn’t this a fun little ditty to start your Monday with. I hadn’t heard of jazz singler Samantha Sidley before. But I certainly appreciate her super catchy, super retro “I Like Girls.” The L.A.-native released her debut album “Interior Person” earlier this month. And if “I Like Girls” is any indication, it’s certainly worth a listen. Because, I mean, we all like girls here. So why not sing about it.

Friday, September 27, 2019

My Weekend Bye, Bitch

I cannot think of a single better way to end the week when impeachment proceedings officially began. Like, they should just play this on a loop over the White House sound system when he is finally forced to leave. To be honest, it’s a far better farewell than he deserves. But, regardless, we deserve this. So here is Lizzo who is channeling her fiercest Ursula the Sea Witch energy. It’s really the cackle at the end of each one of these that makes it art. Honestly, is anyone enjoying life more than Lizzo these days? Though, I think I know at least 65,844,954 million Americans who are at very least enjoying this week. Happy Impeach The Motherfucker Already Weekend, bitches.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Gender Fuck Thursday/SGALGG Emmys Edition

You didn’t think the start of Hot Impeachment Fall would make me just breeze past Clea DuVall’s Emmys tux with one line, did you? Please, it’s like you don’t know me at all. So in honor of all the Very Pertinent To Your Lesbian (and Bisexual, and Queer, and Trans) Interests, here is a very special combination Gender Fuck Thursday/SGALGG Emmys Edition post.

Clea DuVall & Her Tuxedo

I just… I can’t… Who gave her the right…. I mean, the hand in her pocket is just… And cheekbones like… All that and the tailoring makes me want to be a better woman.

Clea DuVall & Natasha Lyonne

The only thing that could possibly make me happier than knowing Graham & Megan made it is if they then became couple BFFs with Luce & Rachel.

p.s. I know this is cheating, but at a pre-Emmy party Clea & Natasha radiated the strongest “Longtime Couple on A Date Night That Is Going Extremely Well”-couple vibes I have ever seen.

Natasha Lyonne & Amy Poehler

I know Megan is with Graham (20 years and still going strong!), but when her wife has to work late Megan lets Amy and her Big Top Energy take her out on the town (in a flirty but respectfully platonic, “Let’s Break Everyone’s Heart at This Bar Just For Fun”-kind of way.)

Jodie Comer & Sandra Oh

See, Eve can look genuinely happy for Villanelle when they aren’t stabbing/shooting each other. The only thing you two should be cutting is that sexual tension.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge & Sian Clifford

Look, I know they play sisters, but they’re not sisters. So I will totally allow it.

Joey King & Patricia Arquette

Look, I know they play mother-daughter, but they’re not mother-daughter. So you see where this is going.

Amy Poehler & Catherine O'Hara

Free Idea, Hollywood: Amy and Catherine play a May-December lesbian couple in a rom-com where they move from New York to rural Iowa to start an organic farm and attempt to befriend the locals.

Laverne Cox & Chase Strangio

The two trans rights advocates, and in particular Laverne’s purse, are a reminder that LGBTQ rights are very, very much at risk. Because on Oct. 8 the Supreme Court will decide whether trans (and really all LGBTQ) people can legally be fired for simply for being ourselves.

Gwendoline Christie & Her GoT Ladies

Her Brienne Jesus look obviously brought all the girls to the Tarth. Can Arya and Daenerys be her disciples, because they’re something I can believe in.

Gwen & Emilia Clarke

I mean, imagine how much better the ending would have been if instead of getting stabbed by Know-Nothing Jon Snow, Daenerys was saved from herself and her murderous madness by Brienne of Tarth and they then ruled together as co-queens with compassion while also adopting all the stray cats in Westeros.

Gwen & Lena Headey

Fine, part of me would also be fine if Daenerys let the world burn and Brienne instead saved Cersei and they then found a new life together crafting fine battle swords in a remote beach village across the sea while also adopting all the stray cats in Dorne.

Gwen & Her Pink After-Party Jesus Suit

I am not a religious person, but this is a real come to Brienne Jesus moment for me.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Hot Impeachment Fall

I’m not going to pretend I know how this is all going to end. Like the Senate will probably do nothing because Mitch McConnell is the world’s most soulless, shameless old-timey movie villain and Republicans are the sniveling, obsequious winged monkeys. And even if they somehow did get rid of him there’s always Mike fucking Pence (though you know he is the balls he has still never shown to “Mother” deep in this whole thing, too.)

But I do know that finally, finally for once in the life of this craven narcissist in chief, he is going to be held accountable. This chronically corrupt and unrepentantly racist orange asshole should forever carry the shame of having The Big I next to his name. I mean, if they can impeach Bill for lying about a blowjob, they can certainly impeach Trump for colluding with foreign powers to help him win elections (twice), using the office of the presidency to enrich himself and his family (like, that cheap bastard even makes the Secret Service pay to rent his stupid golf carts), trampling all over the Constitution repeatedly, lying to the American public endlessly, and all the rest.

Impeachment, baby. It’s about damn time.

And in honor of Speaker Pelosi finally, finally coming to her senses, here is a little celebration of the arrival of Hot Impeachment Fall. We’ve waited 978 days for this moment. We shall savor it now, no matter what comes next.

In conclusion, I imagine this is how Hillary celebrated the news - along with several glasses of Chardonnay.

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Go Ahead, Tease Us

Look, I can’t help myself. Each new teaser of “The L Word: Generation Q” makes me a little more excited - even with the dumb name. (Again, nothing against the Q in LGBTQ+; it just feels very Avenue Q and trying very hard to be down with The Youths is all.) This newest tantalizingly short trailer (which, do not be fooled, is only 25 seconds long despite the 48-second run time) gives us a few new clues as to what to expect from the ladies who are still talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting, fucking, crying, drinking, riding, winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking, dreaming after all these years.

So here is everything I have gleaned from those 25 seconds of new L-liciousness (look, there’s not a lot to go on, I’m doing the best I can…)

1. Shane is the 1 percent.

2. Jenny is still dead.

3. Tina is maybe dead.

4. Tasha better not be dead.

5. WeHo is still no place for butch lesbians.

6. Yeah, I know, we’re all still gonna watch, dammit.

Monday, September 23, 2019

Fleabag Says Thanks


But in no way am I kidding when I say the Emmys weren’t half bad. I mean not the show’s production, which was basically a weird, host-less mess. But television’s biggest night mostly eschewed the safe and predictable and instead went for some unexpected but very, very (very, very) deserving winners. Like, I would never have thought the Academy would dare to not give Julia Louis-Dreyfus the trophy for her final year of “Veep.” But instead another three-named comedy goddess took it all in Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I know, Fleabag would be so shocked.

So here are some somewhat random (though thankfully not in all caps) thoughts about last night’s Emmy Awards.

1) JODIE! FUCKING! COMER! (Sorry, I lied about the all caps.)

Like, I know how much we all gush about Sandra Oh. But without Jodie’s gorgeously seductive psychopath, the show would just be about an overqualified lady who gets a little too obsessed with her job. Also, Jodie has a standing invite to come murder me.


When the announcers called “Fleabag” a show about a female sex addict I basically dashed all hopes of the Academy understanding its brilliant. But hot damn, did they ever. But, then, they were just following my instructions to give Pheobe all the awards always.

3) I commit myself to our Lord and Savior, Brienne of Tarth.

I mean, she’s not wrong. And Gwendoline Christie totally wore it better.

4) ALL MY BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE (sorry, the struggle is real with the caps locks.)

But, seriously, Clea’s tuxedo is making me feel so validated in keeping my 20-year crush on Graham alive.

5) Michelle Williams and the damn good speech.

She eloquently reminded everyone in the room about women and particularly women of color’s worth. Now I feel extra bad about not watching “Fosse/Verdon” yet.

6) Billy Porter the EG_T.

He just needs an Oscar to join the club. But regardless he is the first out gay black man to win best actor in a drama – not to mention the only out gay black man to ever be nominated for the honor.

7) The Totally Exonerated Five.

While it was beyond great to see the Exonerated Five honored in Jharrel Jerome’s win, a quick reminder that our “president” took out a full-page ad back then to demand they be executed immediately. So, there’s that.

8) Cersei deserved better.

It remains outrageous that in eight seasons Lena Headey never won an Emmy for playing Cersei. But, as this dress implies, she’ll always be our favorite florist, regardless.

Friday, September 20, 2019

My Weekend Emmys

So the Emmys are this weekend, and like everyone I have my dream scenarios for who will go home with shiny, pointy trophies. Most of those scenarios revolve around Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer making out while Brienne of Tarth watches.

Drama Series: Killing Eve, because it was created by a woman, starts two women, was showrun both seasons by women, and written primarily by women.

Comedy Series: Fleabag, because Phoebe Waller-Bridge. That’s it, that’s the whole reason.

Actress in a Drama: Sandra and Jodie tie, because then they can make out. Duh.

Supporting Actress in a Drama: Lena Headey, because Wanker No. 9 always and forever.

Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Laverne Cox, because her Sophia is a true pioneer for trans visibility and fuckings rocked it always.

Actress in a Comedy: Natasha Lyonne, because there is only one Natasha Lyonne and she is brilliant.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy: Kate McKinnon, because this is an impossible category and I want to marry basically all of them but Kate is the only one who might agree (not that I would, I am married, ahem).

Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Kristin Scott Thomas, because she got to kiss Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

But, really, the women in every category are ridiculously talented and deserving and I’d be happy is they all won. And then kissed. What? I’m only lesbian. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Ladies Loving Ladies in Paradise

So here’s a dirty little secret: I sometimes watch “The Bachelor” franchise. That means I sometimes watch “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette” and “Bachelor in Paradise.” I say sometimes because it’s on the television in my house and I’m on the couch in front of said television while it is playing, but I’m not always watching that closely because my women’s studies minor makes me diametrically opposed to any reality show that presents women as shiny baubles for men to choose from. Not to throw anyone under the bus - cough, my wife, cough - but certain people in my household have watched it since Season 1 and, well, happy wife, happy life. (Yes, I know, that’s a terrible, horrible phrase but also why wouldn’t you want to make your wife happy and lead a happy life together?) Still, I will admit that it’s also sometimes fun to watch how ridiculous The Straights are when they fight and cry and stab each other in the back.

This is a long and winding way of saying I know all about Demi Burnett and Kristian Haggerty, a.k.a. The First Same-Sex Couple in American Bachelor franchise history. And, I’ll admit it, I did not hate it. I mean, I genuinely hate the show, its premise and all of its weird patriarchal overtones. But of all of the shows, “Bachelor in Paradise” is the most fun because it’s just a bunch of good-looking ex-Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants getting drunk on the beach and trying to hook up and pretending that any of it matters.

But, weirdly enough, this season of “Bachelor in Paradise” did matter - and it mattered because of Demi and Kristian. Was it milked for all of its will she/won’t she/won’t the other she melodrama? Absolutely. But it was still a real, if highly edited, depiction of what it looks like when two women fall in love, particularly if at least one of the women has not been out before. Yes, yes it was.

Demi started the season as just a free-wheeling and unvarnished spirit who had an immediate “connection” (in Bachelor Nation lingo) with some guy named Derek who looks like the love child of John Krasinski and Zachary Levi. But then, she needed to find “clarity” (another Bachelor Nation word) because she still had feelings for a real-world someone back home. And that real-world someone happened to be a woman. (Cue gasp!) In an unprecedented move, they then brought said woman, Kristian, to the beach even though she was not a part of the Bachelor universe. And then Demi had to decide between Derek and Kristian.

Now if that is all they showed of Demi’s coming out story, it would have pretty much sucked because it would just be a showcase for the worst misconceptions bisexual people - that they are indecisive flip-floppers and opportunistic sexual omnivores.

But, good news, after Demi chose Kristian, they kept showing their relationship. They let the two of them stay on the beach together among all the horny heterosexuals. And not only did we get to see their relationship bloom, but we also saw the very real and very relatable worries for LGBTQ people. What will people think if we hold hands in public? How will people react if we kiss? Can I handle it if people stare? What if people don’t accept us?

These are actual anxieties that many LGBTQ people feel, particularly in regards to being out in public or in a new relationship. So to see it shown in such a mainstream and heteronormative setting like The Bachelor franchise is quite something. And, darn it, if I wasn’t rooting for these ladies to get engaged at the end because I AM ONLY HUMAN, OK.

And get engaged they did, twice. And it was lovely.

And, judging by their after-the-show engagement party, these two have a great sense of humor about the whole thing. Like, their engagement cake actually read: “This won’t be the only thing you’ll be eating tonight.” Is it OK to say I kind of love them? Because I kind of love them.

Look, if the absolutely straightest show on television can give millions of viewers a relatively nuanced look at a same-sex relationship week after week, well, what else can we call that but progress? Mazel tov, ladies.

p.s. Dearest, I love you. I’m sorry, I hope those bus tires didn’t hurt too much.

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Torv Hunter

Can we talk about Anna Torv in “Mindhunter?” We should talk about Anna Torv in “Mindhunter.” Now, I’ve been an Anna Torv fan from way, way, wayback. There’s something about her serene yet unrelenting directness that just *shivers in a good way*. In every role she comes across as unquestionably capable.

In the second season of “Mindhunter,” her Dr. Wendy Carr is given less to do on the cases, but more depth in her personal life. After ending it with her dean at Boston University (oh, Lena Olin, we hardly saw thee), she finds a new romance in bartender and all-around hottie Kay.

Kay is as out and free-wheeling as Wendy is closeted and buttoned up. But both women still live within the oppressive societal constrains of early 1980s America. Where as a divorced woman with a child, Kay can’t let her ex-husband know she has a woman over for fear of losing her visitation rights. And as an FBI consultant, Wendy can’t be out to colleagues because they still see homosexuality as a mental deficiency.

Torv’s Wendy has a stoicism that comes from knowing the expectations of female weakness. But by not showing emotion, by remaining unblinkingly still, she seeks to find a level playing field in an endless boys club. Her impassive persona can be seen as a defense mechanism or as her unyielding strength, or both. But she is always fully aware of how she must act in order to keep doing what she loves and what she is brilliant at doing professionally.

She talked with The New York Times about playing such an outwardly unemotional character, saying:

“What I find fascinating is that when you’re an actress, you don’t even realize that the majority of the time you end up carrying the emotional weight of whatever scene you happen to be in. If someone’s going to cry, it’s going to be the girl. If someone is emotional and having a meltdown, it’s going to be the girl. And so you end up getting really good at it. Not even getting good at it — it’s just the expectation, so that’s what your instincts end up honing. All of a sudden to be in the skin of this woman who is just so dry … Anytime I showed a flicker of something, especially in the beginning, David would be like, ‘Please, pull it back.’”
So now it’s fascinating to see, finally, more of the other side of her life. Both her desire, which she can telegraph through That Stare which all gay women know, and her discomfort with being out. In Wendy I think she sees a sort of freedom. But I think it might also scare her. Because there is a vulnerability to being fully yourself with someone else I don’t feel like she is ready for just yet.

But, you know, here I am psychoanalyzing a psychologist from my couch.

So, thoughts? Have you watched? This season was interesting for so many reasons (Spoiler Alert: In addition to the unresolved ending, the personal failings of all three of the main characters was interesting to watch - though I could have done without Trench’s psychopath son...I mean, I could see that one coming and really?), and Anna Torv is at least half of them.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Fire Walk With Me

You know how you felt the first time you watched the “Carol” trailer? Well, prepare to feel all of that again, but this time with a French accent. Set some 200 years before Carol Aird every laid eyes on Therese Belivet, “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” is already being lavished with praise from critics. It debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival last week and the “Oh la la” could be felt across the globe.

It’s not just that this is an 18th Century story of a young female artist commissioned to paint a reluctant young woman who doesn’t want to be painted (because it will lead to a marriage proposal, which she does not want). It’s that this thing looks gorgeous and gorgeous some more and also have I mentioned how gorgeous it looks?

It’s filled with deep, meaningful looks, which everyone knows is the native language of all gay women. Like, staring silently while secretly lusting for one another is the international lesbian mating ritual. But here, set in a seaside locale with plenty of dramatic cliffs, windswept frocks and endless wordless longing, well, c’est magnifique.

“Portrait of a Lady on Fire” comes out Dec. 6 in the United States in limited release. So, like “Carol,” it will be an early Christmas gift to queer women. Now, off to watch the trailers again on repeat until then. A bientot, les jeune filles.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Very Fine SNL People

So last week I got all excited because “Saturday Night Live” cast its first-ever Asian-American series regular member in Bowen Yang, who also happens to be gay. If you’ve been around these here Interwebs, you may have come across Bowen - who joined SNL last season as a writer - elevating simple lip-synch of dialogue to a fine gay art. For example, here is his Miranda Priestly, which is basically exquisite.

And here is he performing Tyra Banks’ infamous “I was rooting for you!” rant.

Like, yeah, this guy is gonna be fun.

But then the news was promptly and unceremoniously ruined because along with Yang and Chloe Fineman, the show also cast stand-up Shane Gillis.

Now, I had never heard of Shane Gillis before. And, perhaps neither had the casting folks at SNL. Because shortly after the announcement video of Gillis talking on his podcast “Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast” emerged where he is being - and I cannot emphasize this enough - wildly racist.

Now, I know, you’re thinking, well this could be old. Maybe he has grown? Nahhh. This is from September 2018. So, not ancient history, just last year. I’m pretty sure I have mustard in my fridge older than that.

So SNL stepped on its own great news of finally bringing some Asian inclusion into their cast by also hiring someone who is insanely racist against Asians. But, like those old late night infomercials, there’s more! Not only is Gillis racist, he is also sexist and homophobic because why be one when you can be all three? He railed against “white f*ggot comics” and said “white chicks are literally the bottom” of a list of funny types of comedians. Neat-O.

So far, no response from SNL other than deafening silence. But Gillis managed to hop on his Notes app and post an “apology” which talked about how as a comic his job is to push boundaries and take risks and also in which he says “I’m happy to apologize to anyone who’s actually offended by anything I’ve said.”

Cool, very cool. Seems like a great guy. I can’t wait until the first day back at SNL when Bowen Yang and Kate McKinnon have to smile and shake this dude’s hand. Won’t that be fun for everyone?

Also, let’s talk about pushing boundaries and risks. Because calling Asians “ch*nks” and complaining about having to interact with someone who has an accent is so edgy and so risky, you guys. No, this kind of “comedy,” if you want to call it that, is just lazy. It is beyond lazy. It’s been around forever and it breaks no new ground, takes no real risks and breaks zero boundaries. It just says, “Hey, these people who exist in the world and are different than me through no fault of their own, isn’t that so stupid and aren’t they funny to laugh at?” No, dude, it’s not.

Here’s the thing, it’s 2019 and to even think of casting someone in a high profile role without scouring their social media and online history is fully bananas. But, the more cynical side of me thinks SNL knew all about his racism and sexism and homophobia and decided to hire him anyway. They decided they needed to “both sides” the cast. You know, maybe some very fine comics who just happen to be Nazis or something. Like, isn’t intentionally hiring a racist the most 2019 thing you can think of? Anyway, Giant Meteor 2020 is looking better and better.

And like that, Gillis and SNL have parted ways. Of course he left with another Notes app statement with this parting shot, "I have always been a MAD TV guy anyway." Cute, real cute. Well, I cannot wait for him to become even more famous as a right-wing martyr.

Oh, and Unknown 3:33PM, apparently you did not read the entire beginning of the post where I praise how incredibly funny and talented Bowen Yang is. But then, your assumption that an Asian and gay comic would not be selected because of his or her talent in the first place speaks volumes. Instead the question should be, why have their been no Asian and so few gay comics on SNL, when we know there are funny and talented Asian and gay comics in the world? That, that is the question. Unless you think Asians and gays aren't funny, in which case that is entirely your problem - and Shane Gillis's.

Friday, September 13, 2019

My Weekend Crush

Full Disclosure: I’m not sure I love Lucy Liu as a blonde. But I totally love Lucy Liu as Joan Watson.

For seven seasons Lucy played a gender-swapped Watson to Johnny Lee Miller/Ex-Mr. Angelina Jolie’s Sherlock Holmes. I’ve always enjoyed the series as a thoughtful crime procedural. “Elementary” wasn’t as gory as “CSI” or as scary as “Criminal Minds” or as silly as “Bones.” But it was smart and never as predictable as your average bag’em and tag’em shows.

I will miss her now that the show has ended. I will miss her and her suit game a lot. A lot a lot.

Part of what I loved was the dynamic between Lucy and Johnny. As Watson and Sherlock they just played well off of one another. And despite Sherlock’s aversion to emotions/on-the-spectrum behavior, you felt the genuine care and respect flowing both ways.

Plus, it was nice to see an accomplished Asian-American woman on television in a show that has nothing to do with her being a huge nerd, a math whiz or a tiger lady. I mean, sure, Joan was a surgeon - which is sorta nerdy. But, you know, mostly just brilliant. So thanks for seven seasons of Joan Watson. May there be so much more Lucy in all of our futures. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Gender Fuck Thurday: Zendaya Edition

Well now, with all apologies to Megan and Sue, THIS is how you wear a suit. I know among all the young lesbian “studs” or whatever they’re called these days, the loose tank top, backwards snapback and long hair is the Uniform du Jour. But can I make a petition to replace that with exquisitely tailored double-breasted suits? Because, DAYUM.

Yes, I know, at 23 years old Zendaya is too young for a geezer like me. But we can all appreciate fine art when we see it, regardless the age. And she is wearing THE HELL out of this suit. So, you know, always respect the suit game. Plus, extra bonus points for pairing it with an old-school watch and chunky index ring. Like I said, respect the game, ladies. RESPECT.

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Suits Them

The truth is, no one except tremendously fit athletes and/or ridiculously slim models would look good in menswear this outrageously oversized. Still the rumbled Laurel & Hardy Chic works for Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird because they are Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird and I would probably think they looked adorable posing in trash bags together.

But they look super adorable in the new InStyle being their Power Lesbian Couple selves and wearing various forms of tailored and very, very untailored suiting.

p.s. I also suggest you watch the accompanying video because, well, do you need a reason? It’s Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird.

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Rise of the Machines

Remember just last Tuesday when I was all jazzed about the meeting of cyborg humanoids and artificially intelligent machines? Just kidding! It’s creepy as fuck. Especially given recent reports that some are encouraging the United States to look into giving giving artificial intelligence control of our nuclear arsenal. Dude, human can’t even make a robot who doesn’t scare the living bejesus out of everyone yet. Let’s slow down on the Doctor Strangelove stuff. Also, has *literally anyone* in the U.S. government ever watched a damn movie? Like “War Games,” the entire “Terminator” franchise - take your pick.

Anyway, I digress. If you’ve been watching “Westworld” hopefully you’ll find this conversation between one of the world’s most famous fictional robots (Dolores) and one of the world’s most famous real robots (Sophia) interesting - at the very least. And it is lovely to see Evan Rachel Wood - in a gorgeous suit no less - sidle up to a bar and strike up a conversation with a woman. Granted, it’s a female robot, but still - have you ever seen anything so full of splendor? Just kidding! Definitely freeze all motor functions and get the fuck out of there, Evan. I have seen those movies and know full well that these violent delights have violent ends.

Monday, September 09, 2019

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

In her new Harper's Bazaar cover story, Kristen Stewart revealed she has been told by Hollywood folks that, “If you just like do yourself a favour, and don’t go out holding your girlfriend’s hand in public, you might get a Marvel movie.”

What you just heard there was a sharp intake of breath from every queer woman everywhere. As much as we are grateful for the progress the LGBTQ community has made in terms of acceptance and openness, we still have so far to go – obviously. As far as mainstream entertainers go, it is telling that Ellen DeGeneres (who came out 22 years ago) and Kristen Stewart (who was 7 when Ellen came out) are probably our most famous out lesbian, bi and/or queer women celebrities.

Sure, there are a ton more out celebs than in the old days, like The Other Ellen and Cara and Sarah and Janelle and Ruby and Samira and the good news is I could go on. But if you think about which of those women came out at the very start of their careers, versus after they’ve become famous, well, that list shrinks. And, in terms of our superstars, the truth is there should be more.

But the reason there aren’t more is thinking like that Hollywood goon who dangled a “Marvel movie” in front of K-Stew if only she’d quit with the icky hand holding. The double standard remains that for an actress to really break out really big she that must be seen as straight and desirable, especially to all the drooling fanboy contingent. Gotta make that green, right?

So, in dishonor of that outmoded and money-at-all-costs kind of thinking, here are a slew of straight (and some not-so-straight) actresses who have proudly held hands with women and yet, somehow, have still managed to land themselves in Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. A chronological list from when they appeared in their first “Marvel movie.”

Gwyneth Paltrow

Somehow, the “Iron Man” star has managed to star in seven, yes Se7en, MCU movies despite flaunting her hand love with Nicole Kidman.

Natalie Portman

Not only did Natalie star in two “Thor” movies, she is going to be a new female “Thor” in a new film. And all this despite holding hands with Nicole Kidman. Though, to be fair, after openly holding hands with two Marvel ladies Nicole has only managed to land one (really, really bad – man is “Aquaman” bad) D.C. movie.

Hayley Atwell

The “Captain America” star is shown brazenly holding hands with Sally Hawkins, who has not been in a Marvel movie but did get to make out with a fish. So, win-win?

Cobie Smulders

The stoic “Avengers” star got all handy while promoting an indie film at the Sundance Film Festival a few years back. But, you know, it was an indie movie, maybe nobody noticed.

Karen Gillan

The “Guardians of the Galaxy” star is British, so many that’s why clasping hands with new late night talk show host Lilly Singh doesn’t really count, right?

Evangeline Lilly

Maybe she thought being in “Antman” would make her hands so small no one would see this.

Tilda Swinton

I mean, everyone knows Tilda is an alien from another galaxy. So this gratuitous hand holding with Charlize Theron (because aliens have good taste) had no impact on her “Doctor Strange” role, obviously.

Marisa Tomei

Well, she is playing Aunt May in “Spider-Man,” so despite the character wildly Benjamin Buttoning throughout the “Spider-Man” movies/reboots, she is still an aunt. So, that means she’s well past fuckable age anyway so hold hands all you want, “old” lady.

Tessa Thompson

Look, we know the “Thor: Ragnarok” star likes to wear Pussy Pants with a certain lady. But this obviously doesn’t count because Evan Rachel Wood is a robot, duh.

Lupita Nyong'o & Danai Gurira

Two of the stars of “Black Panther” holding hands with each other? Does that mean they cancel out? I was never good at math.

Brie Larson

The “Captain Marvel” actress got to be the titular star of her very own superhero movie and she repays the studio by unapologetically holding hands with her stunt double Joanna Bennett. The nerve!

In the end, K-Stew just needs to channel the power of Cate Blanchett who got to star in a Marvel movie, loves holding hands with ladies, happily and swoonily plays gay in movies, and has won two damn Oscars.

p.s. Given her recent comments on believing Woody Allen and being more than happy to work with him again, no one really wants to hold Scarlett Johansson’s hand anymore.