Vacation Vixen: Tibette Edition

Cue “Could’ve Been” by Tiffany for the perfect moment of Tibette past, present & future nostalgia. And best of all, not a tractor in sight.

Vacation Vixen: WayHaught Edition

I know we haven’t had a full debrief on the season/likely-to-possible series finale of “Wynonna Earp” yet. But let me just say than the show and its finale are so much more than fan service (but, goodness, what fan service). What this really was, despite all the demons or perhaps because of them, hopeful storytelling. And all the WayHaught goodness? Well, you cannot really ask for more of that. What makes a hero? What makes a family? Love, honestly. A whole lot of love.

Music Monday: The Story Edition

I’m going to take a few blog bereavement days this week. I’m actually headed back to work this week after taking two weeks off for bereavement. The death was close, but complicated – and honestly not really the kind where condolences are as much for grief as much as for the truly crap circumstances around everything. But it’s still been quite emotionally taxing, and so I offer a few days of Vacation Vixens in lieu of normal posts to acclimate myself back to working and all that capitalist jazz. For today, please enjoy this blast from queer entertainment past. It was 10 years ago last month that the episode with Callie & Arizona and The Song happened. While it’s hard to outdo Brandi Carlile at her own song. But goodness if (pre-out) Sara Ramirez doesn’t give it the old Broadway try. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

What happens when you have queer people on staff, both in front of and behind the camera? You get just pointed, hilarious skits like SNL’s “Lesbian Period Drama” which make you howl with its correctness. Like we were just talking about that “Ammonite” scene and everything. How correct is this skit? Lesbian Monthly’s blurb of “Sure. I mean I’m gonna see it”? The accuracy. And Kate McKinnon as “the one actual lesbian actress” dressed like a stone-cold ex dandy? You love to see it. The trailer for “Lesbian Period Drama” almost makes me want to watch another lesbian period drama. Or gather rocks on the beach. Probably both. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Top Tig

It’s fun to watch people rediscover hot butches every now and again. You can trace the phenomena back to the early 1990s when Cindy Crawford posed atop kd lang in that iconic Vanity Fair cover. I repeat, butches are hot. And now The Internet is horny for its latest hot butch, Tig Notaro. The lesbian comic strikes her best “Top Gun” in the new trailer for “Dawn of the Dead.”

Like, put a flight suit on any queer woman with a masc haircut and you’ll basically give Tom Cruise a run for his money (with the added advantage of not being Tom Cruise/a nutty Scientologist/they’re the same thing). Anyway, I will watch this zombie movie because I already have a Netflix subscription and you saw Tig in that flight suit, right?

p.s. I know smoking is bad and gross and bad some more. I hate it. But the way she chomps on that cigarette holder...goodness. Let’s just pretend it’s weed. Plus, you know, it’s a zombie apocalypse so long-term health outcomes probably aren’t front of mind.

Help a Grandma Out, Ladies

If you watched “Thunder Force” on Netflix since it premiered last weekend, you probably enjoyed the scene with Grandma Norma and her wishful lesbian thinking. I liked the Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer comedy, which is kind of the “Now and Then” of buddy superhero movies, just fine. But, as always, it would have liked it better if they made them gay, just like grandma wanted.

Mare of Television

We can add Kate Winslet to the long list of A-list actresses to play a “Sad Detective” on television. Sad/gloomy/dour say what you will, but it’s often darn good television - especially when the smart female detective gets to do smart things on screen. Here Kate appears to be a former high school sports star who is now a Sad Detective in her same small town in "Mare of Easttown." But a new case gets her out of her gloom, maybe. Anyway, I’m going to watch it because, again, I have an unhealthy love of crime shows with female leads. Plus, after getting Saoirse Ronan to (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED AMMONITE) sit on her face, well - I feel like I owe her one.

Music Monday: Vaxxed Edition

Look, I’m not a Boomer. (Gen X, thank you very much.) But this is a fun little ditty I haven’t been able to get out of my head. And it just so happens to have received my second shot last week. So, yeah, I’m feeling pretty good. And in one week I’ll get my first haircut in like 15 months. Also, by this Thursday (April 15) everyone in California will be eligible to get their shot. So get jabbing, Golden State and everywhere else. Thanks, science.

My Weekend Crush

So I missed Anne Lister’s 230th birthday last weekend. My most sincere of apologies. Terrible form on my part, admittedly. Our fine “Gentleman Jack” is looking lovely for any age. And, honestly, I simply cannot wait for the second season. Suranne Jones does a smashing job as our our favorite period drama butch, and truly you can’t get a more beautiful, wind-swept, romantic moment than that mountaintop kiss. Like, come on, swoon city.

I plan a full and luxurious rewatch of the first season shortly before it debuts, which should be much less stressful than the first watch as I spent the whole first season bracing for The Terrible Things that might happen to our couple because of The Gay. Until then, we wait. And, belatedly, sing “Happy Birthday” to our dapper gal. Happy weekend, all.

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Gender Fuck Thursday: Cate the Great

Look, it’s not all complicated stuff here. Sometimes it’s as simple as Cate Blanchett in a tuxedo being shot for Armani Beauty because WHY NOT IT’S BEEN A LONG PANDEMIC. If Ralph Lauren can do it for Janelle, Armani can do it for Cate. We might as well squeeze every last enjoyable drop out of Late Stage Capitalism while we can.

(Hat tip to Erin M. for the glorious, glorious find)

Teenage (Lesbian Vampires) Wasteland

[Hook (& Lewis]

Right, so how is it that a whole damn show about teenage lesbian vampires (and teenage lesbian vampire hunters) is coming to Netflix and nobody told me? Like, is the Lesbian Bat Signal broken or something? Did we collectively forget how to work a phone tree? No, instead I had to have TikTok – TikTok of all places – tell me that there was a whole damn show about teenage lesbian vampires (and teenage lesbian vampire hunters) coming to Netflix. The indignity of it all.

But, seriously, I’m happy to report the aforementioned teenage lesbian vampire show, called “First Kill,” is based on a short story of the same name. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the story follows a “teenage vampire Juliette Fairmont (played by Sarah Catherine Hook), who has to claim her first victim in order to take her place in a powerful vampire family. She sets her eyes on Calliope Burns (played by Imani Lewis), a new girl in town. Calliope, it turns out, is a vampire hunter from a celebrated family of slayers. They each find out that the other won't be easy to kill — but far too easy to fall for.”

So, what you’re telling me is this is “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” crossed with “Romeo & Juliet” but MAKE IT GAY? Yes, thank you. I will watch this. I haven’t heard of either actress before, which is fine considering they’re supposed to be teenage lesbians and all. Hook has episodes of “Law & Order: SVU” and “Monsterland” on her IMDB, and Lewis has some recurring roles on “The Get Down” and “Hightown” on hers. I know nothing else about the series except Emma Roberts is producing it. But then, again, they had me at star-crossed lesbian vampire and lesbian vampire hunter series.

Vegas, Baby!

Oh, shit. I am gonna watch the heck out of this. I love a good crime procedural and CSI set the gold standard (as well as wildly inaccurate depictions of what law enforcement forensics was actually capable of doing, but that’s a whole other issue). So to bring two of the O.G. cast members back for the spinoff/continuation series “CSI: Vegas” is pretty exciting. And for them to be Grissom and Sara (William Petersen and Jorja Fox)? Hell and Yeah.

Now, it’s important to note my excitement at Grissom and Sara coming back is not because I’m some closet GSR shipper. I mean, I didn’t really have anything against their relationship on the show. Indeed it’s awkwardness was kind of endearing at times, but boy was it awkward at other times. But, sure, whatever. They’re still a couple in the CSI canon, I think. Right? Divorced, but together? Well, we’ll find out in the fall.

Mostly I’m just happy to have Jorja Fox back on my TV. The actress and her charming gap-toothed smile have been a favorite for probably obvious reasons. She played “no meat, no men” Dr. Maggie Doyle on “E.R.” then spent the better part of 15 seasons playing Sara Sidle on “E.R.” She also had a brief stint as a Secret Service agent on “The West Wing.” In short, she has played a series of professional women who wear very comfortable shoes.

While Jorja keeps a low profile, she has championed animal rights and environmental activism over the years. And she also started a production company that has taken on independent projects, including a recent musical adaptation of the life of singing icon and bixesual superstar Dusty Springfield.

I don’t know Jorja’s relationship status (or if she’s been out about any of it), but I do know she looks good in a utility vest with her arms crossed. So, yeah, I’m happy to have Jorja, Sara & CSI back on our screens. I can’t wait for the bad opening puns and techie synth music soundtrack to lab scenes. The original was, and will always be, the best. And not just because this screencap exists. Can they bring back Det. Sofia Curtis and give her lots and lots of scenes with Sara because YES. Yes to all of this. ALL OF IT.

p.s. But for real, best “cop” forearms in the game, no?

Music Monday: Rosie's Girls Edition

Well, now, here is an enormously gay blast from the past. Way back in 1997 – which, can I tell you, is the year all the new hires at my job were BORN – this aligning of the lesbian stars happened on daytime television. Well, at the time it was publically considered a partial aligning of lesbian stars as the Indigo Girls were out, but Rosie O’Donnell was not yet – not for another five years. So it’s quite something to see Rosie give our Girls the shorthand for family by singing all of their lyrics by heart. That’s the lyrical equivalent of the lesbian head nod while passing each other down an aisle at Lowes. Anyway, Rosie came out in 2002 – shortly before her daytime talk show ended. Then it would be another four years before she returned as host of “The View.” And correct me if I’m wrong but she may have had one of the very first celebrity Twitter beefs with Trump, before America made that stain on humanity the President of the United States. Anyway, that guy is unemployed now and Rosie is about to fulfill every lesbian’s dreams and guest star on “The L Word” – with lots of scenes involving Jennifer Beals apparently. So, you know, funny how the world changes. Right, enjoy the music, y’all.

My Weekend Crush

As you have probably already noticed, I like smart, sarcastic women. Daria remains the gold standard, but she’s a cartoon. So in the real world a long list of such ladies have caught my eye and made me take notice. And among them for years has been Shannon Woodward. I first noticed her on “Raising Hope” like a damn decade ago. And I always thought she was great and was excited to see her pop up in shows. Like, when she played “Elsie” on “Westworld.” And, yeah, I totally noticed when she kissed Clementine.

I also noticed when she kissed Ellie as Dina in the “Last of Us Part II” videogame, even though I’m not a gamer.

So believe you me I took notice when Shannon came out as queer kinda casually on Twitter recently. And then last month came news that she was going to headline her own show, “Bucktown.” The ABC sitcom centers around a woman (Shannon) who moves back into her childhood home with her mother and niece. Nicole Richie (yes, that Nicole Richie) plays her boss. And the show is created by “The Conners” and “Cougar Town” writer Emily Wilson and executive producers/out queer lady Sara Gilbert and Tom Werner.

I have no idea if the show will be good, but I think with Shannon leading the way I’ll definitely give it a try. And I’m just happy to see one of my smart, sarcastic crushes see her star shining so bright. Plus, come on, I caught major vibes from her since her “Raising Hope” days. So, you know, told ya so. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Ignore the male announcer here and just enjoy the career retrospective/gay stuff.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Janelle the Crooner

I know this is just an advertisement. I know Ralph Lauren has just gathered a bunch of extremely attractive people and put them in some beautifully tailored clothing and then shot them in black-and-white on a faux Casablanca set. I know it takes a full 3 minutes and 7 seconds for Janelle Monae and her tuxedo to show up. I know this is just a 20-minute exercise in capitalism. But, goodness, do I not care. (And no, that is not some setup to an April Fool’s joke, honest.)

What this is is an appreciation of a very specific aesthetic. How have we not seen Janelle the Crooner before? She wears a tux impeccably. She sings like a timeless angel. Like a person this easy on the eyes and ears should already have her own dedicated big band. Maybe Janelle can do a whole album of standards, with her own very cool, very diverse live swing band behind her. Or, write her own as she performs here as well. Honestly, I would pay a lot of hard-earned post-pandemic money to see that live on stage. Heck, I’d pay a lot just to see Janelle stand still in that tux on stage. So, yeah, advertising works.

Honestly, I highly recommend watching the whole 20 minutes. Suspenders show up at the 16-minute and 16-second mark. You’re welcome.