A Girl Worth Fighting For

I haven’t commented on Mulan’s big reveal from two weekends ago yet because I’ve been thinking about Mulan’s big reveal for two weekends now. For those who haven’t heard, Mulan revealed she is in love with Aurora/Sleeping Beauty on “Once Upon a Time.” Which means Mulan has come out as bisexual which means a Disney princess is gay which means someone is getting a shiny new toaster oven in the mail. Also it’s another LGBT woman of color on television. Hooray. A round of unicorns and rainbows on me.

But then, there’s the other shoe. Because the coming out party got rained on in a major way when the love was unreciprocated (well, also unrealized). And now perhaps we’ve also seen the end of Mulan as she joins the Merry Man and Aurora goes off to have Prince Phillip’s baby. Another sad coming out story. Send Kleenex with that toaster over.



I’ve been a Sleeping Warrior fan from way back. And you have to give the show props for giving us our most obvious lesbian sex metaphor since Tara spread beneath Willow’s tree in Mulan thrusting her fist into Aurora’s chest to remove her heart. So while I applaud, like crazy, the creation of another female LGBT character on television and especially one with such history as Mulan, I am sad that this may be the last we see of her. And if true it would add another character to the Lesbian Upon Leaving (LUL, not to be confused with LUG) pantheon of LGBT character. (Noted alumni include departing “Law & Order” DA Serena Southerlyn and her “Is this because I’m a lesbian?”-firing.)



In short, welcome to the fold, Mulan. I sure hope you stick around.

Sleeping Warrior awakens

This may be sacrilege, but I am going to discuss another ship on Gayzzoli day. Look, it's a big ocean. Plenty of room for all the ships. And sometimes they might even bump in the night. So, I'm finally all caught up on my "One Upon a Time." And I can honestly say I spent the entire last episode screaming, "KISS HER!" OK, maybe not the entire episode. But what seemed like the vast majority. The other half I spent going, "Wait, is Hook good now? Or bad? Or just there for the gay boys to have something pretty?" But every time Mulan and Aurora interacted? KISS HER! And when Emma and Regina finally reunited as Henry's two mommies? KISS HER! And when Regina didn't get invited to dinner but everyone damn else did? INVITE HER TO DINNER, THEN KISS HER! Now, I can't say I watch this show as religiously as other shows. Sometimes, like recently, two or three weeks stack up. But when I do watch it I certainly enjoy the fantasy and strong female characters. We just won't discuss some of the bad CGI. It'll be our little unspoken secret. That and how terrible at this whole acting thing the kid who plays Henry continues to be.

But, I digress. The reason I am really writing is to discuss what has to be the most unsubtextual subtext I've seen on TV this side of "Rizzoli & Isles." And instead of it being the way Lana Parrilla devours Jennifer Morrison with her eyes, it's every scene written between Mulan and Aurora. First, Aurora begs - yes, actually begs - Mulan to tie her up. Then Mulan promising to give Aurora back her heart. Then Mulan physically penetrating Aurora with said heart. And the dialogue before the heart scene:

Aurora: Have you done this before?
Mulan: No. [thrusts fist into Aurora]

Um. Yeah. I see what you did there, writers. I see. That's the least subtle lesbian sex metaphor since the time Willow and Tara did that spell where they literally drew an enormous "O" around themselves and then, um, achieved said O.