After After AfterEllen

Just a reminder, AfterEllen is terrible. Yes, it was my online home for almost 10 years. It discovered and cultivated some of the brightest queer women’s voices on the internet since its founding in 2002. But since September 2016, when its latest corporate overlord – Evolve Media/TotallyHer – decided it wasn’t profitable enough to run as it had been, it’s been a horror show. And if you’re wondering why nearly all the writers (myself included) quit after that decision, well, this is why.



And, this, too – published just yesterday. Don’t click it. Life is too fucking short and they absolutely do not deserve the views.



That a site I once loved and helped me find myself as a lesbian and member of the LGBTQ community has turned into a wildly transphobic cesspool is beyond disappointing, beyond tragic, beyond rage-inducing. But the thing is, from the moment Evolve backpedaled and kept the site open, instead installing an Editor in Chief whose past support indicated a strong transphobic leanings, we all knew it was going to be bad.

Look, AE was never perfect. It had its blind spots and its weaknesses. Heck, things I’ve written in the past I cringe at today. But I always knew its heart and the mission of its writers was one of inclusivity and equality. We wanted more and better representation, always. Because, you know, visibility matters. We welcomed everyone to come and be part of that community who shared that vision. Did we fight? Fuck yes, sometimes we fought. But that’s what happens in any big, sprawling community.

But now, now I can’t go to the site. Before yesterday, I honestly can’t remember the last time I visited AE. Because it hurts to go there. It really does. And it disgusts me to my core.

Whatever you thought of AE, you can’t argue with its importance as an early online LGBTQ community. For queer women it was at the forefront – and sometimes the only – place to go and find other queer women to talk to about pop culture and life in general. A place to learn about queer female representation in the media. A place to share about the shows, the movies, the music you loved that spoke to you. A place to talk about the things that made you feel less alone.

If I won the lotto tomorrow, one of the first things I would do is buy AfterEllen – split off all the content from after the 2016 ruining to a separate site – and preserve it as an online document of queer women’s history. Or, you know, the current editor and management could just stop being transphobic garbage. You know, as a suggestion.

p.s. I know I still have a link to my past AE work up here. I wrestle with it often. On the one hand, that's almost a decade of work. A career in queer media. On the other hand, that site is terrible and should not get any clicks. Like I said, I wrestle with it.

My Weekend After AfterEllen

As by now you’ve realized, I’ve been moving the last two weeks and am surrounded by a mountain of boxes and my own exhausted tears. But I wanted to offer two more very gay cents on what is happening over at AfterEllen right now. A week after the last original posts under the old AfterEllen were published Sept. 21, a new post has sprung up from one of the site’s relatively newer freelance writers explaining “Why I’m Still Here.” It is well-written and no doubt heartfelt. And I sympathize with the writer’s desire to not lose something so very important to our collective histories as queer women. AfterEllen has born witness to our culture for the past 14 years, often when no one else would.

But right now, to be brutally honest, I’d rather AfterEllen shutdown all together than become a rotting zombie corpse of itself buoyed by the occasional “evergreen” lesbian-ish clickbait lists and coasting on the enduring strength of its archives.

This is a site I, we, all cared deeply about. It had its flaws as all sites do. But since its inception it was edited, managed, curated and cultivated by gay women - period. To hire random freelancers and have some random Evolve editor try to recreate that is ludicrous.

What the company did to Trish and our readers (not to mention us writers) was shameful. The site – any editorial site – cannot run without an editor who understands its mission and vision. It cannot run without writers who buy into that mission and vision. It can not run without a community who supports that mission and vision.

Look, I understand everyone needs to pay her bills. I am not criticizing the writer’s decision. This change will be a big hit to what has been a steady income for me for pretty much 10 years. And I understand the desire to cling to the vestiges of AE. It has also been my home for more than a decade and I would absolutely not be the person I am today without it. But this is why I’m leaving. Until the people who own AfterEllen can prove – beyond a shadow of a doubt – that whatever they try to build out of this festering rubble is a real, genuine and sincere attempt at creating engaging/educational/entertaining content for and by queer women – I am out.

We built this together and it matters. We dictate our own history and our own future. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. As previously announced, I’ve climbed on board with the fine folks at Autostraddle where I will be blissfully rejoining my friend Heather Hogan. So look for my writing there in the near future.

After AfterEllen

So that’s that. Yesterday news broke that Evolve Media had suddenly decided to shut down AfterEllen. After Friday, there will no longer post regular daily content posted. The archives will remain intact, at least for now. But the site, as we have come to know and love it, will be over.

I cannot tell you how heavy this makes my heart. This is terrible news for so many reasons. So many talented writers have lost their jobs. So many queer women have lost a place to go for news, information and community. So many voices supporting gay women have lost their home. In short, a legacy of advocacy for more and better representation of queer women in the media has come to a close.

On a personal note, AfterEllen changed my life. I started writing for AfterEllen in in 2007 – February 4, 2007 to be exact. When I started with AE I wasn’t just like so many of its readers, I was one of its readers. Site founder Sarah Warn messaged me one day and asked me to write for them. I had, until then, only been a frequent lurker and a sometimes commenter. And I was so deeply, deeply flattered and floored.

The first thing I wrote for AE was a picture post about hot ladies in red dresses. In retrospect, it could not have been more fitting.

For a time I wrote for the site nearly every day. I wrote news, reviews and all manner of silliness in between. You name it, I blogged about it for AE over the last almost 10 years. More recently my work has been largely recaps and interviews, with occasional commentary thrown in for good measure.

The site has evolved and changed hands over the years. Sarah sold it to Viacom and MTV/Logo. MTV/Logo sold it to Evolve Media. It’s focus and tenor has shifted some as well, but never strayed too far from its founding tenet: Visibility Matters. But now its corporate owner has decided that ensuring that visibility for queer women simply isn’t profitable enough, or important enough, for them.

Well, you know what, fuck that. Gay women need a site like AfterEllen. Gay women deserve as rich and robust a media landscape as possible. In fact all underrepresented communities deserve places that are made by them and for them. (So, while you still can and whenever you can, support existing queer women’s media - like, say, Autostraddle.)

Like for so many others, AfterEllen was a lifeline for me when it first started. I grew up in the Midwest and didn’t know a lot of gay ladies back then. For so many gay women, AfterEllen was the first site for gay women they ever visited. AE showed me that there were gay women out there with my same interests and ideas. The same aspirations and the same frustrations.

Through the years I've been humbled time and time again by readers who have written to say how the site, and my writing, has helped them through hard times. Who have said reading things written by gay women for gay women has been important to them, and reminded them of their own importance.

Hell, I am one of the people AfterEllen helped, too. It helped me find my voice and myself. It helped me become the writer – the person – I am today. Being a part of AE allowed me to meet and become friends with so many wonderful women, so many inspiring writers. I thank all the editors who helped mold my writing at AE from Sarah Warn to ScribeGrrrl to Malinda Lo to Karman Kregloe to Heather Hogan to Dana Piccoli to Trish Bendix.

Thanks to all my fellow writers, who did it for the love of celebrating, and when necessary critiquing, queer women’s representation in the media. Yes, I know am leaving so many amazing people out simply because there were so many amazing people who worked for the site.

Never stop believing that queer women’s stories deserve to be told. Lesbian, bisexual and trans women may not be “profitable,” but our lives matter. AE was a place that, at its core, always believed in and championed that simple fact.

So what’s next for me? Well, don’t worry, I’ll keep writing here at Dorothy Surrenders. I’ll keep looking for other outlets that care deeply about LGBT representation. I’ll keep pushing for more and better presentation of queer women in the media.

So thank you, AfterEllen. Thank you for so many things. But possibly most of all thank you for helping me find all of you. I will forever be grateful to AE for that and for you. Thank you for reading along all these years.

My Weekend Gayzzoli

So we begin as we ended. With Jane and Maura in bed and in love. My final “Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap is up on AfterEllen today. I’ve spent seven years writing about this sometimes silly, sometimes wonderful, sometimes frustrating show in all its subtext glory. Why? Because the chemistry demanded it, and because it was damn fun. Being involved in the Rizzles fandom has been a true honor and a privilege. Sure, many people scoff at subtext. But I think for any underrepresented group – no matter how our visibility improves – subtext is an acknowledgment that we will always try to bend the world more to our image and our liking. It doesn’t mean we’re settling, it means we will always dreaming of more. Thanks for reading all this time. Thanks for believing and laughing and loving these women with me. Happy weekend and end of Gayzzoli, all.

p.s. You can read the final recap, and the entire seven-season run, here.

Uh-oh, Rizzles

Is it any wonder I have been taking longer to write the "Rizzoli & Isles" Subtext Recaps for this, its final run? Maybe I am trying to savor the moment. Maybe I am getting lost in my own moments. Mostly I can't believe there are only eight episodes left. Siiiigh. Thanks for reading all the recaps. New one up at AfterEllen later today tomorrow.

Going, Going, Gayzzoli

And we’re back. So starts the final season of Rizzles. The last of the Totally Gratuitous, Totally Gay Touching. The end of the eye sex. Kidding, Jane and Maura will be having eye sex until the sun swallows the Earth and then collapses into itself into a white hot ball of nothingness. And then even a little bit longer. But I do feel sad that this is the beginning of the end for “Rizzoli & Isles.” For all of its ridiculous flaws it is just a turn off your bran, enjoy the chemistry fun hour of television. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

So please, won’t you join along with me as along with the final “Rizzoli & Isles” episodes come the final “Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recaps. Episodes 701 and 702 are up today on AfterEllen. Thanks, for following them all these years. I hope you had even half as much reading them as I did writing them.

Check them out here:

Your 701 Gayzzoli Recap

Your 702 Gayzzoli Recap

It's Alive! Alive!

Storytelling is about many things. Creating engaging make believe. Fleshing out believable characters. Building trust with an audience. So then it seems only appropriate that Canadian TV writers Emily Andras has pulled off that elusive hat trick. The former “Lost Girl” show runner and current “Wynonna Earp” creator chatted with me to about her new series, the Bury Your Gays trope and the connection she feels with her LGBT fanbase. And, to ease all your worried minds, she reassured us all that WayHaught makes it out of Season 1 alive and in love.

It’s always interesting talking with creative people like Emily, because it’s clear the good ones take what they do very seriously and want to treat their audiences with respect. But, and I think this is key, they also want to be clear that they’re the storytellers and we’re the ones being told the stories. They drive the bus, but they’re thrilled have us on board sharing the ride.

There’s been a lot of back-and-forth about what the right balance between writers/creators and fans/fandom should be. I don’t believe writers owe us anything but the best, most honest and most representative stories they can tell. Within the context of that, I think they should be aware and cautious of harming already underrepresented communities – like LGBT people, like people of color, like people with disabilities, etc. And I think Emily get it. I think she really, really gets it.

Sure, writers will make mistakes. They may stumble, they may make a wrong turn. But the ones who care about our community, they keep coming back and trying to do better. And that what matters. That’s what makes for a good story.

p.s. Please do read her whole, thoughtful interview over at AfterEllen.

All Our Happy Endings

There’s a reason all fairy tales end “…and they lived happily ever after.” The search for happiness – however we define that – is one of our most basic, fundamental drives. We therefore crave to see that happiness reflected in the stories we watch and read. Now that we’ve all collectively grieved and gotten really, really angry (and, in turn, turned that anger into something good) at out latest thwarted happy ending (RIP, Lexa, may we meet again on “Fear the Walking Dead”), it’s good to take stock of where we are.

Is every show that kills off an LGBT character terrible and irredeemably bad? Of course not. People die. Straight people and gay people and every single person who has been on Earth, is on Earth and will be on Earth will die – eventually. But, it does seem we’ve gotten an unfair shake, particularly on TV (hello, 135 characters and counting), when it comes to the Bury Your Gays trope. And I believe that’s because of the very nature of television shows. Unlike film, TV plays the long game. And, unlike film, TV often starts without a clear story ending in sight.

So today over at AfterEllen today in an effort to make myself feel better (and also a little worse) about our current television predicament by counting down all the shows that gave its gay lady couples a happy ending. I found 16. Over the course of TV history that is 16 shows, out of all the shows that have aired over all of the decades, where two gay ladies got to ride off into the sunset together. Yeah, I know, that’s not a ton of shows.

Those 16 shows gave us 18 happy endings for gay lady couples (two shows gave us two couples each, and it should not surprise you those shows focused on queer women). So, when you do the math, that makes for 36 happy lesbian or bisexual characters – total.

So please pop on over to AfterEllen later today and give it a look. Let me know who I left out. Lord knows each happy, non-dead lesbian character counts.

p.s. That’s only counting serialized live-action, English-language TV shows. Kudos, of course, go out to all the great foreign-language programs that have given its queer women happy endings.

Hero Complex

So today I’ve posted my final “Jessica Jones” recap of the season. As I’ve said before, I will never stop wishing Trish and Jessica were a real romantic couple. But I am immensely happy they’re at least a real couple of best friends. The bond they’ve depicted in this first series is truly special. It’s also sadly still a relatively rare sight on television. These are two women who – romance or no romance – are clearly soul mates. And that matters. So thanks for following along with the all my “Jessica Jones” recaps on AfterEllen. On to season 2.

Call Me, Rizzles

So “Rizzoli & Isles” is back tomorrow for six episodes to round out season six (the symmetry, the beautiful symmetry). Then, this summer, it should start its final season. Siiigh. Well, we’ll always have the fan videos. This one, in particular, is delightful. Thanks, @kabensi. Proper ringtone selection is an art, Jane. An art.

p.s. As always, subtext recaps will be up on Thursdays on AfterEllen.

Fae-Thee-Well

I have had the very good fortune of interviewing Anna Silk four times now. She had been, as I’ve said before, really lovely each time. You can read the previous one, two and three times here. This most recent fourth time was most likely the last time I’ll interview her about “Lost Girl,” which is bittersweet for sure. You can read that interview today over at AfterEllen.

Now, I’ve been writing about pop culture for a long time now and I can unequivocally say it’s a rare and wonderful treat to have a star who is as open and accessible as Anna has been throughout the course of “Lost Girl.” In short, we’re lucky to have had her for as long as we did.

Just a reminder, this is the lovely, lovely, lovely video message she sent to fans when “Lost Girl” was canceled. Come on, that’s a class act.



Oh, Anna. We will miss you so, so much. And those tank tops. Siiigh.

Orphan Jones

Just a friendly neighborhood reminder that I’m currently recapping “Jessica Jones” over at AfterEllen. Fresh and ready recaps go up on Mondays (every now and then Tuesdays, if it has been one of those weekends). You can find this week’s recap here. Also, this is a friendly neighborhood reminder that Orphan Crack continues to be some of the most clever mashups around. Oh, and Tatiana Maslany wuz robbed by the Golden Globes. But then, you knew that already.

Keeping Up With The Jones

Just a quick reminder, kittens. I am recapping the new Netflix series “Jessica Jones” over at AfterEllen weekly. The newest recap, for episode 102, will be up today. If you haven’t already, please check out last week’s recap of the premiere episode here. And on the off chance you haven’t checked out the series yet – or if you have and just can’t get enough – here are the show’s very stylized noir opening credits. They’re pretty much perfect, down to the slinky score which builds to an unraveled crescendo and then crash back down simply.

Somewhere Over the Rain-Bo

Gosh, how gorgeous this week's "Lost Girl?" I am going to pretend the Wizard of Oz theme was done just for me, naturally. I always loved the episodes where the actors are allowed to act against type. Check out my recap of this week's episode over on AfterEllen today.

Funny Girls

Damn, have I mentioned how much am I gonna miss this show? And the funny is just one of the myriad of things about “Lost Girl” I will miss like crazy. Siiiigh. So the first of the final eight episodes aired over the weekend. Sniffle, I know. get it all out. A good cry, an honest dry. I was sort of unimpressed until, well, you know – those last 20 seconds. HELLO. Well, I don’t want to spoil anything for the unspoiled. But read all about it today when my “Lost Girl” recap posts on AfterEllen.

Let's Hug It Out

So, today might be the day. Or today might not be the day. You never know with the damn Supreme Court. But whether SCOTUS gives its same-sex marriage ruling today or not, the one thing I can guarantee is if you pop on over to AfterEllen you will find a brand new “Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap for your reading pleasure. Sure, there might have not been a ton to work with in the Season 6 premiere, but we work with what we’ve got. So kindly head on over and leave a comment over on the recap if you would be so kind. I gayzzoli for you. Fine, also for me. It just makes watching this silly show more fun.

p.s. If SCOTUS does rule today, expect more celebratory gifs. As you can see, I just figured out how to ad captions.

Back to Gayzzoli

And they’re back. Yes, it seems hard to believe but we’re six seasons in and this totally gay, not gay pas de deux between one Det. Jane Rizzoli and one Dr. Maura Isles continues. But here we are, back for a new season. Ready for more gayzzoli. Eager for any eye sex. Still tickled by the Totally Gratuitous, Totally Gay Touching. I’ve always said I was in it for the fun of it all. While it would be nice if they eventually gave in to the undeniable chemistry, I have no illusions that this will happen anytime soon. So for me, it’s about molding the stories into what we really want to see. And, again, it’s another of those rare shows revolving entirely around female leads. Because – as silly as the crimes and stories may seem sometimes – there is just something so indisputably likeable about these women together. Now, if only they’d see it, too.



Plus, it seems like a pretty fun set. Also don’t forget to use #gayzzoli in your live tweets and look for the subtext recaps Thursday on AfterEllen.

Holy Moly, Gayzzoli

http://dorothy-snarker.tumblr.com/post/113769826685/jobethdalloway-feltknickers

With that, please enjoy the back-to-back recaps (way to make a recapper's job tougher, TNT, by burning off the final two episodes on the same night) over at AfterEllen today.

p.s. No, I did not watch Sasha's episode of Shameless. Yes, I did see the, um, pertinent scenes with Sasha in them. Hello.

Meow It Off

I don’t know why this four-year-old video of Taylor Swift petting her cat fills me with such joy, but I do know I only got about four hours of sleep the other night which means recapping season has returned. Get your fresh, steaming Gayzzoli Recaps over at AfterEllen today. Or, you know, just keep petting that kitty cat. Come to think of it, maybe I do know why that four-year-old video of Taylor fills me with such joy. Is there anything more relatable to lesbians than a woman who is being trained by her cat? I think not.

Plot Points

My continued apologies for the tardy postings. I am in the midst of recapping two shows and working my full time job and trying to be a somewhat social human being this holiday season. So something has to bah humbug, and that is timely blog posts. But, fear not. Only one more (sniffle) The Fall recap this season and then I will just be down to normal busy instead of ughwhatmakeitstop busy. Until then, please enjoy these screencaps from the last Lost Girl recap. I swear, sometimes I have no fucking idea what these writers are doing, but damn if it doesn't look pretty.

Read the full Ep. 502 Lost Girl recap over at AfterEllen.