Saturday, February 23, 2008

Pre-L: Lay Down the Law

L508: “Lay Down the Law”
First, an apology. I know this episode has been streaming all week over at The OC, but, to be honest, I was just too damn tired last weekend to put up another Pre-L before its online debut. So there you go, that’s my secret. Sometimes I pick sleep over The Internets. But don’t worry, as you might have guessed from my previous whining, I don’t make a habit of it. Now onto the stuff you really care about. Namely those talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting, fucking, crying ladies of The L. Though, if I may bore you with one more tiny tidbit from my own sadly sleep-deprived life, it is that this weekend I plan to thoroughly enjoy three things on the television. 1) Tina Fey hosting “Saturday Night Live.” 2) The Oscars. 3) Episodes L509 and L510. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

1) Just what this show has always been missing -- ninjas!2) The “Don’t chase the straight girl”-Face. Patent pending.3) This what tweeny girls go nuts for? Must be a straight thing.4) It’s the eye of the lesbo, it’s the thrill of the closet…5) The “I hate my job”-Face. Patent also pending.6) How much does Tina wish those were her hands?7) Being gay is, like, hard! Wah!8) Behold the Hickey of Love.9) …and she’s watching us all with the eye of the lesbo.10) Oh, this? Yeah, weird, I know. Who knew even I had limits?11) Is it just me or does Begonia look…jealous?12) Something major is going on with Bette’s hair. Major.13) A knife and an onion: The perfect metaphor for the state of Jodi and Bette’s relationship.14) Reason No. 9,682 why gays should be allowed to serve in the military: They look fucking hot in the uniforms.15) Family resemblance much?16) If these Tibette exchanges get any more torturous, Mama Chaiken is going to have to hire Alberto Gonzales to “I don’t recall” the show’s way out of Geneva Convention violations.17) Look, paparazzi, she’s pretty and witty and totally not gay.18) This cannot end well.19) They’re cousins, identical cousins.20) Dinner party from hell reaches inner circle.21) Never, ever underestimate The Lesbian Fonz.22) Le sigh.23) This beard, it tickles.24) I swear to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about where the Real Alice has been all season.25) What? Gay? You are. Shut up!26) Real Alice is back! She’s back!27) Every lesbian’s “Top Gun” fantasy just became fully realized.28) Semper Fi, ladies. Semper Fi.
New Guestbian Count: 0
Best Line: “(I’m going) to go gay for Shane. We’re going to adopt Chinese babies and live in a trailer park.” -- Molly to Phyllis
Best Meta Slip-Up: “The Greg who plays Tim in the fucking film? That midget?” -- Jenny about the actor playing Jim in “Lez Girls”
Best Don’t Ask, Don’t Double Entendre: “I would serve under her anytime, sir.” -- Specialist Martinez about her commanding officer Tasha…how is this helping Tasha fight the homo charges again?
Worst New Kind of Lesbianism: “A spaghetti girl…Straight until wet.” -- Jodi to Shane
Most Unabashedly Shameless Self Promotion: If you like these little Pre-Ls, please consider clicking your vote for me for The Lesbian Lifestyle’s Lesbian Blog of the Year Award.


Anonymous said...

Hey, hope you win the award. I've voted for you :) I really enjoy all your pre-Ls and that bit on JB that you wrote for your weekend crush series to high heavens. Thanks for taking the time to post them.

slacker said...

Go for the sleep...we can wait. Impatiently, perhaps, especially those of us who also don't sleep much. But we can wait. (Yes, extra insomnia non-L time can and has been used for voting.)

Thanks for the pre-L. Sam did have the 'past deer in the headlights and on to roadkill' look towards the end of dinner. And it's not just Jim. It's Jim, based on Tim, he swims. (Or whatever Jenny babbled a few episodes ago...I just liked Jim/Tim's Suessian quality.)

Jetgirl said...

Yowza! Something MAJOR really is going on with Bette's hair! lol

Thanks Dorothy for that, now I can get through another Helena-less week.

delurk said...

Love pre-L! And if the page ever loads, will vote again for you :)

sha25 said...

Love the Pre L's I voted and you're winning!

Woolf said...

Well, I've to say that I really enjoy your Pre-L even though I've watched Ep 508. Your comments just made me laugh, a lot! lol!!!!!

Cindy said...

Sleep Dorothy, sleep! :) I voted for you. :)

Thanks for the Pre-L word clips. Always enjoy them.

Looking forward to the Pre-L word clips for the next episode. Bette and Tina in an elevator. WOW! Hot, hot, hot.

Anonymous said...

I offer this solution to the Paris Hilton appearance mystery as discussed in the comments to the post back in early Feb

The producer includes "Paris's sloppy seconds" as a reason for her rejection of one of the manager's suggestions of a beard for the starlet.
So, Paris has had her appearance - in reference - and has been given plenty of nice publicity post production of the season.
Perhaps the producers had second thoughts after wrapping the episode and bent over backwards to make it public that they really really like Ms Hilton.

Or could Ms Hilton have taken offence and have been promised an appearance in settlement? ha