End of a Broad Era

I didn’t seriously start watching “Broad City” until its third season, mostly because I’m a dummy who does dumb things like not start watching “Broad City” until its third season. But since then I’ve gone back and watched every episode and really enjoy the New York City, hipster, stoner, millennial, gross-out, feminist, zany, Jewish, female empowerment, BFF comedy. It’s like if “Girls” and Cheech and Chong had a really smart and funny and hijinks-prone bisexual baby.

The show is about to complete its fifth and final season (the finale airs Thursday *deep sobs between bong hits*). Now the show has never shied from showing the pansexual desires of Ilana, played by the wonderfully physical Ilana Glazer. But this season it explored Abbi’s bisexuality, which coincides with real-life actor Abbi Jacobson’s own sexuality.

And what’s most wonderful about it is it happens so organically there’s no time for Very Special Episode weirdness. There’s no “OMG, Am I Gay?” anguish. Just a natural attraction that follows through in a positively adult way. Also, did I mention Abbi gets it on with Clea DuVall? Yeah, someone fulfilled all her childhood “But I’m a Cheerleader” childhood fantasies.

I Wanna Elaine Dance With Somebody

Let’s be honest, the week after a holiday is always hard. Like, it’s only Wednesday? Seriously? So here is a collective cathartic moment of shaking-it-out/doing The Elaine Dance for you to enjoy and rejuvenate yourself with this Hump Day. Yeah, you deserve this. Let is all hang out, kittens. And don’t forget to work those thumbs.

My Big Gay Emmys

I don’t know much. But I know this. The Emmys should have stopped the show mid-stream and made Hannah Gadsby the host. Or Kate McKinnon. Or Tiffany Haddish. Or basically any woman who was not the dudebro Weekend Update dudes. But at least the awards ended on time, which is something. And despite the lackluster dude hosts, there were still some genuinely good moments. Heck, even straight people had a nice moment with that Emmy proposal.

So here are the queerest Emmy moments and Emmy attendees most pertinent to your gay lady interests.

Kate McKinnon was tragically underused in that whole “We Solved it” song. But at least she looked great with her stand-in date Betty White.



Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Did I mention Hannah Gadsby should have hosted?



Samira Wiley is sunshine in a sparkly dress.



Evan Rachel Wood’s commitment to suit-based fashion on the red carpet is extremely commendable.



Props to Lily Tomlin for getting in a little Gina Rodriguez snuggle.



Carrie Brownstein doing queer women proud by coming in a dress with pockets.



My greatest hope – besides flipping the House and Senate and impeaching Trump/Pence – is that Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer make Abbi and Ilana endgame on “Broad City.”



Tatiana Maslany sees Carrie’s dress with pockets and raises everyone a sensible pants and top paying homage to lesbian favorite “The Gynmast.”



Tiffany Haddish’s big top dress is almost the best Pride outfit ever.



Please, you thought I would post about the Emmys and not include a photo of My Fake TV/Movie Wife Tina Fey?



Sandra Oh, who was viciously robbed of the best actress in a drama Emmy, brought her parents as her dates and her mother wore a traditional Korean hanbok dress which *heart eyes emojis forever*.



Some gratuitous Regina King arm porn for your viewing enjoyment.



Also for your viewing enjoyment, Angela Bassett. It should be noted that Angela turned 60 last month which HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?



All hail the Queen and Queen of Lesbian Couples. Long may they reign.



p.s. Don’t worry, kittens. SGALGG is coming tomorrow. Oh yeah, it’s coming.

Some Broads

In these insane, anxious times I took toward insane, hilarious ladies. And they don’t get more crazy and more funny than the gals from “Broad City.” I wish the new season was starting now. Now. Nownownow. But, alas, we must wait until August. Jesus, who knows where we’ll all be in late August. Like will Putin be our president then or what? Anyway. If we can hold out until then we get the continued adventures of Ilana & Abbi with guest spots by Wanda Sykes, Jane Curtain and possibly Shania Twain. In the immortal words of Ilana, “Fuck you Trump!” We’re going back in.

Rough Decision

So remember yesterday when I was like, “THIS MOVIE TRAILER IS MY REASON TO LIVE?” Of course you do, it is also now yours. Well here’s another movie trailer which is not exactly life affirming (actually sorta the exact opposite), but I still have a keen interest in for a number of reasons – as well as one very big reservation.

Reasons to love in no particular order:

- Scarlett Johansson, love her plus she is sporting the hair that has led to all sorts of amazing red carpet amazingness.
- Kate McKinnon, obviously love her and her mystery accent (like, I think it is Australian, but then maybe not).
- Ilana Glazer, clearly love her.
- Zoë Kravitz, again love her even though it makes me feel a little weird because I also loved her mom.
- Jillian Bell, I don’t really know her that well but she certainly seems if not entirely lovable then very funny.
- Written and directed by Lucia Aniello from “Broad City,” which duh, I love.

Reason to not love:

- Seriously, the whoops we killed a stripper thing? The whole, oh no, we have to get rid of the body thing? The world doesn’t really need a gender swapped “Very Bad Things” and/or “The Hangover,” but with more murder. How about you pack all these very, very funny and talented women into a movie that doesn’t feel derivative and dismissive of the lives of sex workers, eh?

So, what do you think? And, for real, what is Kate’s accent? And is it gone there at the end? What’s happening, girl? Just kidding, you know I still love you. Call me (with whatever accent you want).

Make 'Em Laugh

In my ongoing effort to find more joy in 2017, I’ve compiled a list of 30-minute, female-fronted sitcoms that make me laugh. Like really, really, really laugh. While laughter may not rid of the unhinged, thin-skinned narcissist intend on destroying the pillars of our democracy, they do give us a needed respite from the sickening madness. (I know, I know – I keep bringing it up. But, you know, it’s kiiinda important.) So without futher ado, here are some very funny comedies to check out if you aren’t already. Lesbians not necessarily included (unfortunately – though some are a tad lesbianish, so give them time.)

Broad City

The continuing misadventures of Abbi and Ilana are a bit like Dadaist “Girls.” Wonderfully weird and feminist and weird some more. Yas, queens, you should totally be watching this.

The Good Place

OMG, please go back and watch this show’s first season on demand so it has a shot of getting a second season – please, please, please, please. Also, please. And please one more time. Did I mention if it continues it might delve into whether Kristen Bell’s Eleanor is really into Jameela Jamil’s Tahani. So, yeah, please.

Superstore

So fun and so funny and you know you’re happy to see America Ferrera back on your teevees so watch already.

Fresh Off the Boat

While “Fresh Off the Boat” is technically is a family comedy, this show set in the early 90s Orlando clearly belongs to Constance Wu’s Jessica Huang. Clearly.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

A show by Tina Fey (with occasional cameos by Tina Fey) about a woman making it in the world after surviving 15 years of being kidnapped and held underground by a doomsday cult? Please. That comedy just writes itself. Obviously. (And if you haven’t watched it yet I am quite cross with you, obviously.)

So, what are your comedy lifelines right now (preferably female fronted because, duh)?

p.s. On my “To Watch” list are “One Day at a Time” and “Insecure”

My Weekend Crush

You guys, since this is my week of confessions I have another one to make. I didn’t start watching “Broad City” until this season. And now I’m kicking myself because I could had two whole other seasons of Abbi and Ilana in my life. What is the opposite of “Yas?” Because that’s what I’m feeling for catching on so late. But, good news, I’m loving this season and will do my due diligence and catch up. But for now I’m just going to luxuriate in the wonder that was Hillary Clinton’s cameo on this week’s episode. Am I totally in the tank for Hillary? Hell yeah, I am. And so our these broads. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday

Told you I have having an SMG moment. Though, really, anyone in a tank top can make me have a moment. Hey, sometimes I’m easy. And you love it, too.

Anjelica Huston

The tank top that started it all. No, really.

Danielle Brooks

Taystee, indeed.

Nicole Curtis

But, seriously, have you started watching “Rehab Addict” yet?

Ming-Na Wen

Every time I see her I feel bad for not sticking with “Agent of Shield.”

Scarlett Johansson

Finally watched “Lucy” and, damn, she was good in it. Weird movie, though. Weird.

Padma Lakshmi

She makes me want to be a better…cook. Yeah, we’ll go with cook.

Ilana Glazer & Abbi Jacobson

Every time I see these two I feel bad for not finding time to watch “Broad City” yet. But I will, I WILL, dammit.

PER YOUR REQUEST

Aliyah O’Brien

The Canadian actress is one half of the Office Lunchbox ship from “Rookie Blue” (the other half being Charlotte Sullivan). This is a show which I don’t watch but have seen countless gifs for on Tumblr. Aliyah has also described her sexuality as “who cares” because she is “attracted to men and women.” Oh, and I didn’t even realize it but she was also in “Ascension.”

Laura Vandervoort

Hey, look, another Canadian actress I’m relatively unfamiliar with. But she stars in “Bitten,” a show about werewolves. So, naturally, now I’m interested.

Teri Polo

Now this lady I do know. And I couldn’t be happier for the continued success of “The Fosters.”

p.s. Oh, kittens, there will be some Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger tank top loving in our future. Gotta stock up for the World Cup. Also, I need a refresher on which team members are officially out again. By default I assume they all are, obviously.