Um, did we manifest the new Rebecca Ferguson/Greta Lee sapphic rom-com or what? Between her heavy wlw flirting and her tank top supremacy, Rebecca has apparently been method acting her way to her new lesbian role. Also, how did we not know about her new lesbian role – with Greta Lee no less – before this?
The only whisper of it was Greta’s Interview magazine chit-chat with Willem Dafoe earlier this month where they had this exchange:
LEE: I’m about to leave on Saturday to do something in London. I’m scared to do it.
DAFOE: That’s good. What is it?
LEE: It’s a romance, but it’s between two women, and I haven’t done that before.
DAFOE: What kind of romance? Full on?
LEE: Full on, baby. I’m doing my stretches.
And then the Internet gods gifted us with these shots of them being all kissy-kissy in London together on set. I guess not everything in the world is terrible. May we all survive long enough to see Rebecca and Greta “full-on” lezzing out for each other on screen. We expect so little from you these days, universe, please let the sapphics at least have this. We promise to do our stretches, too. Happy weekend all.
Even if I end up not loving “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” (and I highly, highly doubt it), I will always love how horny Gillian Anderson and Hannan Einbinder have been for each other during the press tour. Like, just out there, putting panties around our necks, calling out Jean Smart and now thirstily liking vintage pictures of the other. I mean, I get it. I liked that picture, too. Never change, ladies, never change. Happy Hump Day, indeed.
p.s. Can we talk about the way Gillian looks like the perfect 50s housewife clinging to her secret gay younger lover? Yes, I broke out the “L” word and not about Lover Cindi.
Stoner comedies aren’t typically my favorite genre. But stoner comedies directed and starring queer female leads and talking cats? Spark that shit now! Let’s fucking go! I have no idea whether “The Wrong Girls,” starring Kristen Stewart and Alia Shawkat and written and directed by K-Stew’s wife Dylan Meyer will be any good. But I know I don’t care because, well, did I mention the talking cats? Also Kate McKinnon is also in this thing. We’re all going, just bring plenty of snacks for the munchies.
p.s. Also here is K-Stew working out in a tank top-adjacent attire for this movie in case you needed some Tuesday bona fides.
Did you know you can watch Maya Hawke and Victoria Pedretti be gay together for 18 minutes? Yeah, neither did. But thankfully The Lesbian Internet graciously alerted me to this fact. The actors appear in the short film “The Non-Actor,” which is available to stream now on Mubi – whatever that is.
The short follows Elliot (Pedretti) who is staying with her ex’s new girlfriend Bella (Hawke) while attending a medical trial for her recent, unexplained loss of hearing. Per Letterboxd: “As she reconfigures her relationship with her (sonic) environment and herself, an intimate connection sparks between the two women.”
That spark better include smoochies is all I’m saying. So, does anyone subscribe to Mubi? Is it worth the $14.99(!) a month? Or, more likely, activating the 7-day free trial? Inquiring lesbian minds need to know. So far, I like the unsolicited knee pat. But, yeah, imma need some smoochies to make giving another site all my contact information seem worth it.
Last month, “High Art” was added to the Criterion Collection. The 1998 indie was the debut feature from Lisa Cholodenko, who would go a dozen years later to make some lesbians very, very upset about the also excellent “The Kids Are All Right” (and, yes, I still stand by that assessment, now another 16 years after that – whew, time is crazy). Now, I haven’t rewatched “High Art” in a decade, possibly two. But I remember how viscerally I felt this movie, with its arty intensity and grungy tragedy. Also, Ally Sheedy was obviously a revelation after only knowing her from her 80s brat pack days. I wonder now, much older and possibly a little wiser, if I would feel the same way about “High Art.” Guess I have to pick up the Criterion edition to find out. Also, what happened to Radha Mitchell? I definitely had a little crush on her. I mean, remember “Love & Other Catastrophes?” Gosh, I wonder if that’s available anywhere? Anyone up for a 90s lezzy movie marathon? Deep cuts only.
Speaking of OGs returning just in time for Pride, did you hear about that “Bound” 30th anniversary reunion earlier this month? Let’s pretend none of us heard the whole it’s been 30 years since “Bound” came out part and instead celebrate Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon and Lilly Wachowski and some of the fellas from the movie (men, they always have to tag along) showing up to talk lesbian sex and queer subtext. It reminded me that there’s apparently an uncensored European cut of the movie. European kittens, please, help a gal out. Drop a non-geoblocked link in the chat, you know, for charity.
You don’t often see media about older queer women that isn’t cloaked in tragedy. Granted, there aren’t enough non-tragic stories about queer women of any age – period. Bury Your Gays is real, and relentlessly hard to kick. But for older women-loving-women, so many stories revolve around the lack of acceptance, or death of a partner, or generational miscommunication. Or, you know, falling off a ladder while trying to fix a birdhouse. (Yes, I am still traumatized by “If These Walls Could Talk 2,” why do you ask?)
So imagine my delight when I stumbled on this little short, about an older woman who seeks the advice of her younger queer coworker on how to flirt with women. It’s just 10 minutes, but feels like a little gem. As a single woman getting older herself (oh, time, and its relentlessness), I can deeply relate. But mostly, I appreciate this story for bringing back those little gay butterflies, when a queer story simply lets its subjects find joy in each other. We all deserve that, no matter what age. Happy weekend, all.
What can’t Lesbian Jesus do? Sing a song about girls liking girls. Make a video for your song about girls liking girls. Write a book about your video for your song about girls liking girls. Write and direct a movie about your book based on your video for your song about girls liking girls. And then cast a little doppelganger for yourself in the movie about your book based on your video for your song about girls liking girls. Truly, what can't Hayley Kiyoko do? I know I’m not really in the age bracket for this movie anymore, but I appreciate the get-up-and-make-it-gay-yourself of it all. Way to get it done, Lesbian Jesus.
Finally, a movie that teases possible sapphic content that I’m fairly confident won’t disappoint me with just a bunch of queerbaiting. Thanks for kinda nothing, “Mother Mary,” Verity,” “Her Private Hell” et al. But “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma,” from everything I’ve read since its premiere at Cannes, is the real deal. And the final trailer and poster seem to emphasize that point. Also, and this is not a spoiler, just a wild guess and hopeful projection, don’t Gillian and Hannah look like the ultimate sapphic Final Girls in that poster? Make it so, Jane Schoenbrun! I loved their “I Saw the TV Glow” with such an unexpected passion, I can’t help but have the highest of hopes for Miasma. And, as all you kittens already know, I don’t even like horror movies. But between this cast who I feel equally confident in saying have both kissed women in real life and storyteller’s singularly universal use of trans allegories, yeah, bring on all the Little Deaths, whichever kind they may be. Ahem. Happy weekend, all.
Speaking of the WNBGAY, two of the league’s out stars have signed on to a new sapphic sports film “Courtside,” which has some other very familiar faces the camera as well. Abbot Elementary writer/producer Brittani Nichols and Autostraddle-alum Carly Usdin are writing and directing the film which “follows an injury-plagued women’s hoops superstar whose championship ambitions are upended when she falls for her teammate.”
Real-life out WNBA stars Gabby Williams of the Golden State Valkyries and Sydney Colson of the Indiana Fever and recent WNBA player Theresa Plaisance (last with the Seattle Storm in 2023) have all signed on to play, and I’m wildly guessing here, fellow WNBA stars.
But Colson isn’t just appearing, she’s also an executive producer. And guess what new production company is behind all this love and lesbian basketball? Run-A-Muck which was co-founded by, drum roll please, Ilene Chaiken and Jennifer Beals. Yes, that Ilene Chaiken and that Jennifer Beals of “The L Word” fame and infamy.
It’s actually heartening that two of the women behind the seminal lesbian TV series are still making stories for queer women. And, with the pedigree behind it, I have outrageously high hoops, I mean hopes. (I had too, apologies.).
“It feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this kind of excitement to surround women’s basketball, and I’m excited to blend my love of sports, lesbian tension, and comedy into one project,”
Add this to the happily growing list of upcoming sapphic sports stories vying to become queer women’s “Heated Rivalry," including the “Slo Pitch” and “Ripe!” and (maybe) “Cleat Cute.” I say, why have one “Heated Rivalry” when we could have at least one for each sport – softball, soccer and now basketball. Who’s got next? Looking at you, women’s rugby stories.
Everything is so stupid (and, of course, scary) all the time these days. But can we all just have a deep, endless belly laugh about the World’s Richest Man crashing out so spectacularly about a 3,000-year-old epic poem? He can’t shut the fuck up about how the casting of Lupita Nyong’o as Helen of Troy in “The Odyssey” is “ahistorical.” My dude, it’s a mythological story. There’s also a cyclops, a six-headed serpent and vessel-devouring whirlpool monster. Are you also gonna complain that the vessel-devouring whirlpool monster is anatomically inaccurate?
But then, why would we expect anything less from the World’s Most Racist Serial Killer (I mean, he killed USAID, which is killing…*stares in ebola crisis*). He’s mad about Elliot Page being cast as (maybe Achilles, maybe not Achilles, really anything) in the movie as well because why just be a Nazi when you can also be a transphobic piece of shit? Anyway, I’m going to see Christopher Nolan’s next opus, not because I’m a homer for Homer. But because it will make Elon crash out even more if it does well at the box office. And these days, it’s the little things that get you through.
p.s. Like how attractive is this female cast? All their faces could launch a thousand ships – and more. So Stay mad, Musky! Stay mad.
Sports bras, as we all know, count as tank tops. Also, did we know Kelley O’Hara was also developing a sapphic soccer story for the big screen based a little on her own life/famous World Cup winning smooch? Like I knew about “Cleat Cute,” though I’m not sure where that project is now since the end of Megan and Sue. But “Ripe!”? Yeah, somehow I missed it. Maybe because the name is, how do I put this, terrible. I mean, I get it. But also kinda hmmm. But teasers about the film featuring its star, “The Summer I Turned Pretty” lead Lola Tung are certainly leaning into the whole ripeness of it all. According to Them, the movie, based on a Spanish short film, will follow an American exchange who falls for another female soccer player while playing overseas. But all I know is things are about to get sweaty.
Right, so apparently Sophie Thatcher and Havana Rose Liu play former lovers in this. You couldn’t guess it from this teaser, but then you really can’t guess anything from this teaser except that Charles Melton has great pecs. But, per Deadline, the plot of “Her Private Hell,” follows an actress named Elle (played by Sophie, teenage Nat of “Yellowjackets” fame) working on a new movie who reunites with Dominique (played by Havana Rose of “Bottoms” fame), who happens to be her former lover but is now married to her father. Which, ew.
There’s also some sort of urban legend and/or myth and/or hallucination about a The Leather Man who drags young women to Hell. And/or it could just be a real serial killer. Anyway, Deadline goes on to call the movie, which premiered in Cannes out of competition, pretentious. But possibly in a good way? I dunno. I just know we’d better get some payoff for all these movies (looking at you, “Mother Mary”) that feature fraught relationships between former female lovers. Otherwise, no matter how pretentious, what’s the damn lesbian point?
Well, now. I truly appreciate Gillian Anderson’s commitment to her campaign to start major beef with Jean Smart over the affection of Hannah Einbinder. So far Jean has largely tried to stay above the fray, confident in her place as Hannah’s O.G. Alpha May-December Suitor. But after those glowing reviews of “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” from its Cannes premiere last week, I’m more invested in the Jean Smart-Gillian Anderson throwdown than ever. Also, Hannah’s wide-eyed reaction and insistence that they’re “open.” Talk about giving the sapphics what they want.
p.s. This is exactly how I’d look at Gillian if she put her hand around my waist like that. Exactly.
p.p.s. I know, I know, I’m super behind on all the gay shit on “Hacks.” But this is Gillian’s moment anyway.
Let’s keep these good sapphic 90s vibes going with one of my favorite brief but impactful (at least for me) lesbian moments in cinema. It’s when Clarissa dances with Sally in “Mrs. Dalloway.” It’s also when I first fell in love with Lena Headey, and the rest, of course, is history. While the dance, and of course that kiss, fill me me nostalgic fledgling gay feelings, it’s the look that Natascha McElhone (as young Clarissa) gives those horrid male interlopers who interrupt their moment that remains etched in my memory. That’s Big Queer Feelings right there. Can you believe that movie is 29 years old? And we’re still searching, and searching, for more movies that give us those Big Queer Feelings. Alas, the more things change, unfortunately the more they can also stay the same. Happy weekend, all.
While absentmindedly flipping through my feed recently, I came across a vintage photo of Tilda Swinton from the 90s. Which, of course, got me thinking about her 90s gender-queer masterpieces “Orlando” and “Female Perversions.” While aggressively chauvinistic pseudo-sexual thrillers (for some reason mostly starring Michael Douglas) were all the rage at the mainstream box office, Tilda was blowing my little gay socks off with a female-gaze/verging on nonbinary vision of sexuality that defied easy definition. Also, both films are examples of using queer themes for genuine exploration, and not just titillation. (Ahem, Anne and Dakota, ahem.)
Now I haven’t watched either movie in a good decade, if not much longer. And, naturally, neither appear readily available on major streamers. So I’ll have to go off memory. But I just remember feeling so engrossed and so awed by both movies. I’m sure there are things in these 30+-year old films that don’t hold up. But the intoxicating rush of unexpected sexuality, well, that will stay with me forever. Also, hot damn, I forgot how stacked the cast of “Female Perversions” was in particular. Tilda (Oscar winner), Amy Madigan (Oscar winner), Frances Fisher, Paulina Porizkova, Marcia Cross. I think, as I continue to rummage thrift store DVD racks in search of physical media we can own and keep (because, truly, fuck subscriptions and never owning anything outright), I will add both movies to my “Must Find” list. Until then, here’s a little reminder. Yeah, 90s Tilda could get it (2026 Tilda too, but she’s been in a long-term relationship for a while so, you know, respect).
Now this, this is the kind of lesbian movie trailer I do like. (Verit-what-now?) Very much in fact. “Notice Me”? Consider yourself dulty noticed. I only wish it was for a full feature and not just a short. But, you’d better believe as soon as I know how to watch this I will because, come on, how charming was all that? Also, the short film has an all-female team from the writer to director to Lena freaking Dunham as executive producer. I have some complicated feelings about Lena, but “Girls” was genuinely a thing and now that she’s back in the spotlight I’m certainly open to continuing to check out her work. Also, did I mention how charming this trailer is? As I was saying, full movie, please.
Well, now, this is disappointing. And, believe me, that’s hard for me to say when you’ve got two hot ladies kissing front and center. But, alas, context. Always, always context. Because under normal gay circumstances I would LOVE to see Anne Hathaway and Dakota Johnson kiss on screen because, duh, I have eyes and am a lesbian. But, tricksy tricksy context.
You see, despite initial reports, Anna Hathaway and Dakota Johnson’s characters aren’t really kissing in the new trailer for “Verity.” Look closely. No, you see, they’re Sapphic Psychosis Smoochin. You know the kind. Where a gal starts kissing one person and pulls back only to realize, IT’S A GIRL. Or, maybe it’s not even a girl – it’s just their overactive psychotic imagination. Possibly murderous, too. Don’t forget that.
We have, certainly, seen this before. Sabrina Carpenter and Jenna Ortega (and tempting poor Jane Wickline) in “Taste.” Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis (and possibly Evil Natalie Portman) going at it in “Black Swan.” It’s the old fake-out. Just another niche version of the Very Special Lesbian Kiss Episode of Sweeps Weeks of yore.
And, again, while normally an Anne and Dakota smooch would be, you know, not a bad thing, the bad thing is that it is likely solely for the oh-lalas and not any real plot and or queerness. How do I know? Well, because “Verity” is based on the book by Colleen Hoover and a little research tells me there are no queer storylines in her book, nor any smooching between the two women in question. So they added it to the movie to, you know, spice things up. But, safely, without any real gay stuff.
It should be noted that Hoover’s work was behind “It Ends With Us,” a.k.a. The Most Disastrously Marketed Movie of the 2020s that has resulted in me disliking everyone involved more (minus perhaps Jenny Slate).
Annie Hathaway, come on – can you give us something truly sapphic sometime soon? Sure, there was “Eileen,” which was kind of gayish (but mostly sad), and there is “Mother Mary,” which is in limited release but [SPOILERS] Anne and Michaela Coel don’t ever kiss or define their past “relationship.” The sapphics would appreciate a real queer moment from you. And, no, being in “Brokeback Mountain” doesn’t count – at least not for us. (Same for those devilish Prada movies...)
How about a mid-week dance break? Is it gay? Well, Steve Zahn’s character was gay, but celibate. Still, one could argue that Janeane Garofalo’s character was every queer alterna-girl’s root. Since I’m feeling nostalgic (and/or old) these days, I thought we’d wax on a little about “Reality Bites.” I remember thinking this movie was so cool when it came out 32 years ago. I mean, I’m a Gen X kid, so this was our movie. And who amongst us hasn’t dreamed of raiding the convenience station snack racks on their parent’s gas card while dancing to “My Sharona”? And best yet, not a cellphone on sight.
Could our long lesbian nightmare finally be coming to an end? Will Riley finally get her own “Happiest Season”? Well, maybe. Aubrey Plaza says “there’s some movement, yeah” on a “Happiest Season” sequel. She mentioned the idea to the original’s writer-director Clea DuVall and now they really, sorta, maybe, perhaps will start working on it together – like for reals. So, definitely maybe!
Look, I’ll cling to any sliver of good news I can these days. The idea actually started with an in-joke Aubrey added to her new Prime Video series “Kevin,” which I’ve never heard of but gets an A+ in niche lesbian jokes for this fact alone. There’s a movie marquee that reads: “Kristen Stewart and Aubrey Plaza in ‘Happiest Season 2: Riley’s Revenge.”
“You know what’s funny, is I actually forgot that I put that in the show, and Clea and I just had a creative conversation this past week about that [movie],” she revealed. “And I said, like, ‘Hello? Where’s Riley’s happy ending? We gotta start working on this.’ So, we actually are.”
“That is actually true,” she added. “I mean, I think I’m allowed to say that, but I don’t think Clea would care. But yeah.”
Yeah, indeed. Now make it happen so we we can all be the happiest lesbians next season. But for now, happy weekend, all.
p.s. Mazel tov to Aubrey (who with her partner former "Girls" actor Chris Abbott), is expecting her first child. Also, April and Charlie end up together? Did they start as long distance, Pawnee to New York? At least she dumped Andy, he turned out to be a chud.
