Friday, August 31, 2007

My Weekend Crush

THUD. Seriously, thud.As I was poking through ye olde blog today, I realized that next week marks the one-year anniversary of My Weekend Crush. That’s right, almost a full year’s worth of gorgeous has graced these pages for your weekend enjoyment. In honor of all that hotness, I thought we’d go back to the beginning. An adolescent Jodie Foster, still a mere baby-dykelette in bell bottoms and sensible shoes, was my inaugural crush. Over the years she has remained my most steadfast crush. She is practically everything I find attractive in a woman. To quote this week’s cover of Entertainment Weekly: “Tough. Sexy. Smart. Classy. She’s the antidote to everything you hate about Hollywood.” Amen to that. Man, I can’t think of anything I’d rather stare at over this long three-day weekend than Jodie Foster in a white tank top. Can you? Happy Labor Day weekend, all.

p.s. For more on Jodie’s smoking spread for W magazine, along with more interviews, more photos and more reasons to thank the universe for the existence of white tank tops, check out the AfterEllen Blog on Tuesday.

Feeling Feisty

So, I’ve been tired and stressed and cranky all damn week. But this, this lifted my spirits immeasurably. Watch Feist and her all-star indie chorus (including members of Broken Social Scene, The National, Grizzly Bear, The New Pornographers, Mates Of State and Nicole Atkins) perform “1234” on Letterman earlier this week. I can’t think of a better way to kick start a long holiday weekend than with a little irrepressible, irresistible hipster glee. Sing along if you know the words. And don’t forget to clap.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Toothpick chic

CLICK to enlarge the Amazing Toothpick GirlFor the most part, I think Keira Knightley is a rather pretty and pretty talented young woman. And while she genuinely seems like one of those naturally skinny types, this is totally freaking me out. (Click above to enlarge the not-so large.) Seriously, her head is the thickest part of her body. That’s just not right. Not right at all.

Total dick head

This is the first and only time I’ll ever say that Bush is a sexy beast. I give you the president formed from the sweaty, naughty, unmentionable bits of porn stars. Finally, he is the dick head we always knew he was. (Click to enlarge, though mildly NSFW.) British artist Jonathan Yeo decided to make his porn Bush (wow, these puns just write themselves) after a commission for a proper portrait of the president was canceled. He snipped images from 100 porn mags to make his masturbatory masterpiece. Though, if I was him, I would have made Bush out of 100 raised middle fingers instead. Cause I wish he would just fuck off already. Is it Jan 20, 2009 yet?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Body electric

CLICK to enlarge the Oh My God!Take about your truth in advertising. At 43 – 43! -- Elle “The Body” Macpherson is still seriously smoking. (Click above to enlarge the hotness, it is so worth it.) The mother-of-two is the very definition of a MILF. I mean it, that’s just insane. It might even be illegal. I’m feeling faint. Must lie down now. Thud.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

That’s so gay

Some days, you wake up and it seems the whole world has gone into rehab. Other days, you wake up and it seems like the whole world has gone gay. Monday, the hot playground gossip making the rounds was that not one, not two, but three high-profile stars were capital G-A-Y. The queer trifecta? Mel B, Wentworth Miller and Jake Gyllenhaal…pass it on.

So what was up with all the Monday morning outings? I guess the only thing better than kicking your work week off with a celebrity scandal is kicking your work week off with a gay celebrity scandal. Not that there is much scandal to speak of here, just unsubstantiated gossip and more examples of the Standing Next To Someone Gay Makes You Gay Rule.

MEL B kissing a girl, but not one of her alleged tawdry twosomeI’d heard whispers about Mel B (a.k.a. Scary Spice and/or Eddie Murphy’s unacknowledged baby mamma) for a while now. But I’d never heard them in quite so much, uh, detail. Hello, TMI. I need a shower now, and not in a good way. I love how the two ladies she allegedly had a two-year, three-way relationship with are selling their salacious interview under the guise of “We’re very worried about Mel.” Cause, you know, I always tell national newspapers about the sexual peccadilloes of the people I’m “really worried about.” I’m a good friend like that.

Wentworth and a Luke, walking down the street, not K-I-S-S-I-N-G... wait...As for the Wentworth rumors, those have been swirling for a while as well. And now the irrefutable evidence seems to be, uhm, him walking with/sitting with/sharing the same oxygen with someone who is gay. Wentworth walked and drove with T.R. Knight’s ex-boyfriend, stop the presses! In all fairness, Towleroad told people not to jump top conclusions after posting the shots. But jumping to conclusions is the raison d’être of the blogophere, so no such restraint was shown in re-reporting the earth-shattering news of two men strolling down the street together.

JAKE with the actor...And, finally, the Jake news. Apparently, if you can believe the guy who first brought us Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian Adventures, Jake is going to come out with his long-term boyfriend very soon and announce that they are expecting a child by surrogate this September. The best part about this rumor is that while the “source” is dead-on sure about the baby’s impending birth, he can’t tell us if Jake’s partner is his actor friend or his chef friend or some other friend to be named later. So, Jakey Junior has two daddies, they just have no damn clue who one of them is.

Look, I have no idea whether these fine folks are gay or not. But what I do know is these “stories” are beyond silly. It’s like gay is the new rehab. To which I say, no, no no.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Children are the future...

Oh. My. God. If you’ve ever beaten yourself up for blowing an interview, take heart. There is no way you could have blown it this badly. Please witness Miss South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton explaining why a fifth of Americans can’t even find America on a world map during this past weekend’s Miss Teen USA Pageant. The most frightening thing? She finished third-runner up. That means out of 51 total contestants, there were 47 other girls even worse than her. You’re looking at the future of “U.S. Americans” here, people. Weep for our country, cause we’re doomed.

Friday, August 24, 2007

My Weekend Crush

CLICK for a bigger, badder WinehouseFrom the second I first heard Amy Winehouse, I knew I was a goner. That voice – so smoky, so sultry, so seductively slurred – spoke to the deepest, darkest, most damaged places in my heart. Yet at the same time, her music manages to soothe the savaged soul. It’s that long, tall drink at the end of a long, hard day. Which is why nothing breaks my heart more now than her hell-bent-on-destruction spiral of late. Wandering the streets of London a bloodied, dazed mess of smudged eyeliner and dried tears, she is the poster child for sad self-fulfilling prophecies. She is becoming a caricature of every song she sings.

It has been said often that true genius is touched by madness. Billie Holiday. Edith Piaf. Janis Joplin. What is it about the sirens that makes them suffer so? Winehouse aches with talent. But it’s the woman herself that fascinates us most. Underneath the behemoth beehive is someone who is honest to a fault. Yet her hedonism seems to come from a place of profound vulnerability. Perhaps that is what draws us to her in the first place. Life is so much more interesting when dismantled. Great for art, not so great for the soul. May she find a healthy balance for both, and find it soon. She may go back to black, but we don’t want her to fade to black forever. Happy weekend, all.

Friday f*ck-ups

It’s the end of another long work week. So to make you feel better about all that went wrong (or to celebrate all that went right), here is a compilation of famous people fucking up at their jobs. But, you know, in a funny way. Go ahead and giggle at these bloopers at your desk, your co-workers already think you’re crazy anyway.

From “The Silence of the Lambs”

“Fucking do the Hokey Pokey!”

From “The Devil Wears Prada”

Falling down works. Every. Single. Time.

From “Finding Neverland”

Peter Pan + the wall = still laughing

From “Bandidas”

Salma + Penelope + cleavage = still drooling

From Evil Nostradamus, a.k.a. Dick Cheney

This would be fucking hilarious if it wasn’t so terribly true.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Nip/Tuck spoils our fun

Joely can't even bear to watch.**SPOILERS! Nip/Tuck Spoilers! Seriously, I mean it! SPOILERS!**

So, in classic “Nip/Tuck” fashion, the new season hasn’t even started yet and already it has delivered a potentially infuriating WTF moment. If Watch with Kristin is right, it really sucks:
“Julia (Joely Richardson) and her new girlfriend (played by Ms. Portia de Rossi) -- yes, I said girlfriend -- will be the victims of a violent crime this year. I’m hearing the pair is kidnapped, sexually assaulted and left to deal with the emotional ramifications of the event for many episodes to come.”

Like I said, WHAT THE FUCK?! I was all excited about all the hot lesbian sex Portia and Joely were supposedly going to have together. I mean, sure, they suffer from Lesbian Twin Syndrome, but I’m willing to overlook it in the name of, uh, art. And then this. Why? WHY! God, can’t there be any happy, healthy, sexy, non-pregnant, non-emotionally scarred lesbian couples on TV? Must we all end up in therapy? According to Kristin, sadly, yes:

“I’ve heard the storyline is so dark, it’s one of the darkest in Nip/Tuck’s history and actually involves a hate crime.”

Look, it’s all good and fine and honorable to raise awareness about the horrible, horrible effects of hate. But this is a show about plastic surgery, people. And it’s not a show know for a) it’s deep social activism or b) it’s tact. Ugh. This reminds me why I stopped watching in the first place. I might still tune in for the sex, though. What? I never said I had any tact either.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Top gun

Kelly McGillis will join the lovely ladies of “The L Word” in the new season as a guest star. The “Top Gun” and “Witness” star will play a military attorney involved in a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” case. You know what this probably means, right? This means that Tasha could be at the center of some big military outing next year. On the plus side, maybe this means she won’t have to go to Iraq.

As for Kelly, her L Word role sounds like a perfect fit. First, she has experience playing a lawyer, in 1988’s “The Accused.“ Second, she has already gotten seriously Sapphic on screen, in 2000’s “The Monkey’s Mask.” And everybody already knows about her much-rumored on-set affair with Jodie Foster during filming of “The Accused,” right? Like I said, perfect.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Maybe he is blind...

Scarlett Johansson has joined the ever-expanding cast of “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Which, for the record, means that he is just not that into Scarlett, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston and Ginnifer Goodwin. If these are the women that he is just not into, then he is an idiot.
The movie is a fictionalization of the self-help bestseller by the same name which I never read but even some (discerning) lesbians swear by. Scarlett will play a Pilates instructor and aspiring singer who finds herself in love with a married man. The only part about the previous sentence I care about is “Pilates instructor” because that means we can look forward to lots of shots of Scarlett stretching. Oh, my. Scarlett + bendy = Ms. Snarker is just sooo into her.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Bright idea

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Amazingly, just one. So, seriously, what are you waiting for?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

My Weekend Crush

CLICK to enlarge La MômeIt is nearly impossible to put the sublime into words. All attempts just feel feeble and flat. But once you’ve seen Marion Cotillard become Edith Piaf, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. The “La Vie en Rose” star brings out the light and dark in the famed French singer. The 31-year-old actress ages three decades for the role. Equal parts raw, riveting and radiant, she is a true revelation. Her Piaf is a defiant survivor and an eternal child. She is as impulsive about her life as she is driven about her career. She makes your heart sing, only to break it and finally let it soar. By the time Cotillard steps up to the microphone to deliver Piaf’s signature number, “Non, je ne regrette rien,” it is all over but the goose bumps. Simply sublime. Happy weekend, all.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Guess the Kodak moment

What future famous face is hiding in this picture? Take a close look. Look past the truly tragic hairstyles. Look over the unfortunate dresses. Look deep, deep into this poor person’s soul. Have you figured it out? Do you want a hint? OK, well here is a big one. I blogged about her earlier this week. In fact, she got her own day.

What, still not sure? Fine. Click here to solve the mystery.

Damn. Well, if this is truly her, this is just another reason to love her. Anyone who can overcome that kind of youthful awkwardness and grow up to be this hot deserves some kind of medal. And possibly her own parade. I mean it, strike up the band.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Blonde on Blonde

Remember when I said that Portia de Rossi was going to appear on the new season of Nip/Tuck as a “manipulative lesbian mother whose teen daughter wants to have plastic surgery?” Well, it just got a whole lot more interesting. According to TV Guide, her character will enter into a torrid relationship with Joely Richardson’s character Julia. Wow, that’s a whole lot of blonde going on right there. If the TV Guide folks are to be believed the pair’s sex scenes are “anything but tame.” Hello. Think Ellen has already programmed her Tivo for that episode?

p.s. Good God, how skinny is Portia’s shoulder compared to Joely’s? She better put on some padding before their roll in the sack together or somebody could lose an eye.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

A little ‘More’ from Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster is giving us just a little bit more. The 44-year-old actress is the cover girl for the September issue of “More,” the magazine for women of a certain age. The inside interview is classic Jodie. Perceptive, personable and politely guarded. Though, Jodie’s strict no-questions-about-my-personal-life policy seems to be opening up. While, of course, she never confirms, she also doesn’t deny the $64,000 questions. Quite frankly, I’m kind of impressed that “More” even dared to go there.
Let's talk about your ring.
This one? [Proffers left hand] It's Tiffany, an eternity ring.
You're wearing it on your wedding ring finger.
I am. I've always worn a ring. Even taking photos. Even on magazine covers. I don't take it off.
Don't you think wearing a ring like that raises questions?
Well, but that's my life. I thought about this recently: I had a nightmare the other night. Well, anyway...
C'mon! Let's hear the nightmare!
I was being interviewed by somebody, like an innocuous [press] junket thing. They were asking me questions about food I liked or whatever. Then they said, [in a high, innocent voice] "Have you ever written any homemade anti-Semitic cards?" And I was like, [horrified] "No!" Then she said, "Come with me," and I realized to myself, "You're so stupid. Haven't you ever seen that 60 Minutes thing where they ask you a banal question? You're not supposed to say yes or no. You're supposed to go, 'Well, that's interesting.' Because if they ask you the banal question, it's because they have some kind of document on you. And now you've got to go! And now the camera's going to follow you!" Then my dream was over.
[Pauses and reflects before continuing]
My life is my life. I'm not going to change my life for anybody. I don't have any problems with it. I just don't talk about my health, my dad, who I voted for or what I think of the death penalty, because that would be trivializing my life, selling it for a magazine. I don't have any problems with anybody reporting on my life. It's just that I'm not going to bring my family into that. The number-one reason for that is: Why would I invite -- encourage -- more people to sit outside my door and wait for my children to go to school? I don't have any desire to participate in it.
Do you feel that people appreciate the choice you've made to maintain your privacy?
I don't know if anyone appreciates it now. I'm sure there are all sorts of people who don't like what I've chosen....I think my kids will understand and respect it. In 20 years, people will look back on my life and I'll be 65 and Britney Spears will be 45, and I think by then people will understand the value of privacy.

Come on Jodie, your sons already spilled the beans. Go ahead, show us Cydney’s matching ring.
p.s. Anyone else jealous that the reporter got spoon-fed by Jodie?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tina Fey Tuesday

I got carried away researching Tina’s appearance on “Sesame Street” yesterday. And, well, these were too good not to share. The woman is, truly, No. 1. Go ahead, laugh until your sides hurt.

The good old days

Tina + Ellen = hilarity

Why we love her

A thing of beauty is a joy forever

This is truly mesmerizing. A little freaky, but mesmerizing none the less. I give you 77 screen sirens in under 3 minutes (hat tip, popbytes via eggman913). So much beauty, so little time.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Naked Lady Monday Redux

You commented. I read. And here you go. The return of Naked Lady Monday. But, and there is always a but, I probably won’t make it a weekly event. Why? Simple. If I researched (tasteful) shots of beautiful naked women all the time, I’d probably never write another word. It would just be me. And the pictures. And the drooling. But if you like NLM and want it to continue as an occasional feature, please let me know in the comments and I will soldier on. The things I do for blog.

EDIT: Damn, two typos in one post. I told you naked ladies were bad for my writing!
EDIT 2: The woman gazing at Charlize is her “Monster” director Patty Jenkins. The beautiful shot is by the late Richard Avedon.
EDIT 3: So, NLM stays. As does the name, Google be damned. Actually, when I searched “naked lady” (research is a bitch, I tell ya) I got mostly a refreshingly porn-free selection of links. Apparently, it’s just old fashioned enough to keep the hard-core horn dogs at bay. At least for now.

Spashley down

Spoilers! Spoilers, Will Robinson! Seriously, I’m gonna talk “South of Nowhere” season 3 premiere. So, if you haven’t watched yet or think teenage lesbian romances are silly, then shoo. Shoo, I say.

OK, are they gone? Can I just say, ohmygod, they killed Clay!! You bastards!!! Sorry, wrong show with a “South” in the title. OK, already season 3 is infinitely more interesting than season 2 (sorry, the season was kind of blah what with the degaying counselor, runaway road trip and hair brushing in lieu of kissage). But, season 3, holy crap, talk about opening with a bang. They killed a member of the Carlin clan. Damn, they’re really taking those “To Live and Die in L.A.” lyrics to heart.

I’m not sure the behind-the-scenes politics of killing off a major character on The N (Did the actor want out? Were they at a loss for how to spice up the teenage pregnancy storyline?)*, but once again a death on SoN is another excuse to bring camera crews on campus. First VH1’s “Behind the Music” and now MTV’s “True Life.” You’d think MTV Networks owned The N or some…oh, wait.
But on to what we care about: Spashley. First we get my-brother- died-and-you-went-to-Europe-and-then-didn’t-call-me-all- summer awkwardness. Then we get kissage -- glorious, glorious kissage. Followed immediately by breakup heartbreak complete with Ashley’s post dumping rehooking up with her hetero ex. Jesus, dyke drama starts young in L.A. I do like that it was Spencer who did the breaking up. Ashley is always hottest when she is in pursuit. And by hot, I mean age-appropriately attractive. Oh, hey, Mandy Musgrave is actually 20, so lust away. Enjoy.

The rest told in equation form since this is high school, yo:
Aiden + emo bangs = vomit
Glenn + screen time = vomit, squared
Ashley + inheritance = trouble
Spencer + Ashley + Aiden = get used to it, this dramarama is gonna be around all season

And two bonus equation based on the latest promo:
Spencer + random girls in bars = potential rebound hotness
Madison + straight girl gaydar = “L.A. is full of young eligible lesbians.” Snicker.

p.s. In case you missed the two-part premiere (301: “The Valley of Shadows,” 302: “Can’t But Me Love”) watch it now at The Click.
p.p.s. A little birdie told me SoN was nominated for Breakout Show in the Teen Choice Awards. So if you’re a teen (or an adult who secretly watches), go get your vote on.
p.p.p.s. * I understand the actor playing Clay was, how do I put this, a homophobic douche and wasn’t comfortable with the Spashley storyline. So, you know, good riddance.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

My Weekend Crush

To be in the presence of Meryl Streep must be the most extraordinary experience. Because there is nothing generic about her. She has a majestic beauty that has only deepened with age. Her face is her canvas and her mind is her brush. She inhabits every role completely. In fact, she doesn’t act, she becomes. At 58, an age when many actresses are forced to toil out the rest of their careers in mom roles, Meryl is still making complex, topical and downright meaty movies. Volumes could, and have, been written about her greatness. I suggest just flipping through a thesaurus and looking up synonyms for “brilliant.” In the pantheon of acting gods, she makes even the greats tremble. Also, I fucking love that she never fixed her nose. Happy weekend, all.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Friday’s weird, wonderful and wrong

CLICK to ENLARGE the WEIRDWeird: Megan Fox and Gillian Anderson on the set of “How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.” Not that I’m complaining. But seeing the juxtaposition of Hollywood’s hottie du jour and Hollywood’s eternal skeptic is kind of jarring. Hot, but jarring.

CLICK to ENLARGE the WONDERFULWonderful: Elizabeth Shue and her gun show. I’ve had a wee crush on Elizabeth since “Adventures in Babysitting.” So, it’s nice to see that 20 years later she’s still a knockout -- both figuratively and literally.

CLICK to ENLARGE the WRONGWrong: Anne Hathaway and her real estate mogul boyfriend Raffaello Follieri. This shot totally looks like a scene from “A Night at the Roxbury,” where Anne is cornered by Raffaello and some creepy old guy at a bar. Of course, being unfailingly polite, she smiles through the skeeziness. Dude, button your damn shirt. You’re in the presence of a lady.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Golden girl

CLICK to ENLARGE the PERFECTIf that’s not perfection, I don’t know what is. I can’t wait. Can you?

The Misclownification of Lauryn Hill

CLICK to ENLARGE the CRAZYI’ve finally found something sadder than a sad clown. It’s a sad, crazy clown. Oh Lauryn, I know The Fugees reunion is stalled, but did you really have to try out for the Insane Clown Posse?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Not so easy, not so breezy cover girls

CLICK to enlarge the FUGThose snarktastic Fug Girls would call this a “Fug The Cover” post. I call it a ”If you’re Photoshopping the hell out of these people anyway, why can’t you make them look good or -- at the very least -- human?” post. Now we already know all about The Cover Lie. But what I don’t understand is how, after all that digital enhancement, the end result could still look so crappy. I’m pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t want to herald her comeback on the cover of a national magazine looking like a Teutonic diva who swears by monochromatic colors and bushy eyebrows. I’m assuming. I mean, I don’t know her that well. Or, really, at all.CLICK to enlarge the HOTThe thing is, Gwynnie can do much better. Witness her previous W cover. She looks lovely and, yes, pregnant. And then there is the even lovelier Life cover with her mother, Blythe Danner. Of course, that may be due to Blythe’s presence. But why quibble.CLICK to enlarge the FUGNow this next cover catastrophe mainly suffers largely from really unfortunate timing. But the folks at Elle weren’t doing LiLo any favors with her Dynasty hair. The irony here, of course, is that Lindsay doesn’t have to look like the most popular girl at her 1985 senior prom. Even the photo shoot outtakes are sexier, more modern and all together va-va-voomier. And then there was the truly sexy Lindsay on Entertainment Weekly, circa 2004, all red hair and black stockings. Those were the days.
CLICK to enlarge the HOTBut the person I truly feel sorry for is poor Anne Hathaway. By all accounts Anne is a lovely young lady. She has the dark hair, milky skin and doe eyes that women around the world would kill for. So, you’d think making her look radiant on a magazine cover would be easy-peasy. Apparently, not so much.
CLICK to enlarge the FUGWow. I’ve never before looked at Ms. Hathaway and thought, “Damn, girlfriend has a lot of teeth.” But I consider this Teen Vogue cover Anna Wintour’s revenge for “The Devil Wears Prada,” so I wasn’t really too surprised. Then I saw these.CLICK to enlarge the FUGBazar made her look like a fashion alien and on Marie Claire dressed her like dental assistant from the Jersey suburbs. Of course, once again, it didn’t have to end like this. Because, Anne -- if given a chance -- can give great cover. Really, really great.CLICK to enlarge the HOT

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals: The Hair

CLICK for up-close and personal lesbian hairListen, lesbians get a lot of flack for their supposed lack of fashion sense. Our culpability in continued survival of the mullet is legendary (though, to be fair, I think we share the blame 50/50 with rednecks…) But lately I’ve noticed a lot of straight girls (or, well, supposed straight girls) sporting some seriously dykey hair. So consider this post SGALGG: The Hair Club Edition. They’re even separating into different subgroups.

1. The Sexy Imp (See: Shane McCutcheon)
Selma Blair (top) is working the bed head hard. While she may not be gay, her hair -- at the very least -- experimented in college.

2. The Rock Star (See: Jackie Warner)
Faux hawks ahoy! Rumer Willis (that’s Bruce and Demi’s spawn) and Pink are no doubt receiving thank-you muffin baskets from hair gel manufacturers everywhere.

3. The Bald Butch (See: Sinead, when the was still gay)
Mena Suvari went all Britney on her locks. One can only assume she did this for a role. And by “role” I mean her new girlfriend Ro. I kid, I kid. But, she is coupling her new close crop with a camouflage hoodie and a white tank top. Rather lespicious, no?

4. The Prison Matron (See: Your naughty jail fantasies)
The hair, the jaw line, the scowl, the austere duds -- seems Laura Harris (from the upcoming “Women’s Murder Club”) missed her true calling as a regular on “Bad Girls.”

Monday, August 06, 2007

Naked Lady Monday

What better way to ease into your work week than a bunch of beautiful women getting their kits off? And, that they took it all off for a good cause, well that’s just icing on the naked lady cake. In the final edition of Jane magazine, Eva Mendes, Lili Taylor, Joss Stone, Serena Williams, Kate Dillion, Emily Vancamp, Kate Mara and a pregnant Milla Jovovich stripped for the charity Clothes Off Our Backs. All the naughty bits are covered so it’s a very tasteful affair. You know, like looking at classy nudes at a gallery reception, sipping wine and exclaiming loudly to anyone within earshot, “Excellent contrast and the lines are almost architectural” while the whole time you’re really just trying not to stare too long at, well, boobies. See all the lovely ladies bigger and better here. Good luck with the whole not staring thing.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

My Weekend Crush

As I was researching the new Oz remake “Tin Man,” Tracy Chapman’s beautifully sparse “Remember the Tin Man” kept going through my head. Off her “New Beginning” album, the song is a simple yet perfect metaphor for a guarded heart. In fact, the entire record was my soundtrack one summer, what seems like a lifetime ago. I was on an internship states away from the first person I ever truly loved (and dearest, if you’re reading, kisses). Tracy’s earnest, heartfelt songs both touched my loneliness and cradled my hope. Every time I hear “The Promise,” it brings back a sweet ache and warm rush of emotions, like staring at a faded snapshot from a precious moment in time. Tracy’s music has an honesty and power that needs no further embellishment. Just a guitar and that voice. Of course those amazing dreads, sly dimples and killer arms don’t hurt either. Fuck, she’s sexy. Oh, and she’s gay. And, apparently, she has a thing for writers. Lord, I’d love to tell her a story or two. Happy weekend, all.

Friday, August 03, 2007

LOLlesbians: My bologna has a first name

It’s Friday. You’re tired. I’m tired. You can’t read one. more. thing. So instead I give you the endlessly yummy Marlee Matlin and Mary-Louise Parker to feed all your naughty “I Can Has Lezbeanz” dreams. (hat tip Laura, for the LOLspiration!) Oh to be the Oscar Mayer to their Wonder Bread. The only question now is mayo or mustard? Also, you may want to consider a bib. ‘Cause, dude, you’re drooling. Bon appétit.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Huge-time hottie and Barron von Fat

The new trailer for “I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With” looks funny enough, right? And the title, well, you can’t beat the sentiment. But while I got a chuckle out of seeing portly Jeff Garlin and babelicious Sarah Silverman yuk it up together, it is also a prime example of one of the more gently misogynistic trends in film today. Namely, the rise of the schlubby guy/hot girl romantic comedies. (For reference, please see “Knocked Up.”) Now, this debate has already been far more eloquently and exhaustively discussed on other far more eloquent and exhaustive sites. So, I won’t bore you by throwing my own two little cents into the din.

Instead I’ll just say that while the man-boy slacker meets ambitious-uptight beauty genre is irksome, what irks me most is how the equation almost never gets reversed. We’ve come to a point where Andy Samberg, Seth Rogen and Jack Black are all legitimate leading men. And fine, whatever, good for them I guess. But where is the equal screen time for the female equivalent of your Andys, Seths and Jacks? Where are the funny but average (or downright goofy) looking women and their hunka-hunka burning loves? Look, I’m all for funny folks landing smoking hotties. Just don’t forget the funny gals.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Buffy #5: Dopplegangland

CLICK for the three No. 5 covers

Wow, it seems like forever since I last had a Buffy post. Oh, right, because it has been forever. The newest Buffy Season 8 comic is finally out (actually it came out a week early but I forgot…oops). Issue No. 5 is the first stand-alone storyline of the new series (think monster-of-the-week versus mythology storylines on “The X-Files”). It follows a faux Buffy (one of three) on her road to Slayerhood. See the first six pages here. Looks like a bumpy road.

In other Buffy news, Joss Whedon came, saw and spoiled the crowd at Comic-Con. The highlights:

  1. Buffy Season 9 is already being plotted (as a comic, ’natch).
  2. Oz will be coming back in Season 8 (no word on when).
  3. The long-gestating “Ripper” project may finally be a go. (Joss and Anthony Stewart Head are in talks with the BBC to turn the pre-Buffy Giles spin-off into a 90 minute special.)

And, finally, more tidbits not from Comic-Con, but the TCA’s where former Buffy executive producer/writer Marti Noxon talked a little Slayer. (She was there as one the executive producers of the Grey’s spin-off “Private Practice.”) The highlights, again:

  1. She would love to write an arc for Season 8 (and feels like it’s only a matter of time before she does).
  2. If she did, she would love to bring Tara back. (Yes, Tara. Yes, back. Can I get a hallelujah?)