Wilderness at Heart 2

How have we not discussed this trailer yet? Though, am I the only one annoyed by the addition of Elijah Wood? Like, I get it, shows add people in new seasons. But did it have to be a famous dude? Now his hobbity face and placid eyes will be all up in my female wilderness trauma and it just annoys me. Granted, things didn’t work out so well for Adam last season. So, if that’s the plan I will withdraw my previous complaint. But, yeah, can’t we just focus on having a phenomenal female cast for once?

Anyway, I don’t really know what’s in store for this new season. I mean we’ve already had murder, mystical woodland rituals, bear death and human popsicles, with heavy hinting at cannibalism. Speaking of new males, the trailer seems to show us a beardy fellow who might meet an untimely demise. So if in the end the person they eat is some rando forest dude instead of one of their team, honestly, I’d be here for that energy. I’m also very much here for the trailer showing off their casting department’s skill. Like, look at this masterful casting, just LOOK!

But, as a lesbian…supporter, I’m mostly here for the reunion between Taissa and Van. We got the Adult Van we wanted in Lauren Ambrose, and if you aren’t excited to watch former high school lesbian sweethearts turned wilderness survivors/possible cannibals who reunite as adults politicians/possible nerd store owners, well, it’s like we never survived a plane crash in the Canadian Rockies together or something.

My Weekend (SGALGG/GGALGG) Crush

While watching the Emmys on Monday I had the strangest sensations. Great winner after winner was named: Sheryl Lee Ralph, Quinta Brunson, Jennifer Coolidge, Lizzo, Jean Smart. Did I just experience JOY from an award show? Granted, the telecast ended up fizzling toward the end and then limped to the finish. And, of course, as with any award show, there was plenty of SGALGG. There were also plenty of GGALGG, as is now also always refreshingly the case. So please enjoy these moments of JOY and ladies enjoying being in the presence of other ladies. Though, if seeing newly minted Emmy winners Jean Smart and Sheryl Lee Ralph SGALGGing together doesn’t make you happy, what could? Happy weekend, all.

Jean Smart & Everyone

I mean, who wouldn’t want a chance to hold Jean’s hand, like Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s Rachel Brosnahan and Yellowjacket’s Tawny Cypress.

Or Maisel’s Alex Borstein and Yellowjackets co-stars Christina Ricci and Melanie Lynskey. Christina appears to also want a handful, and who can blame her.

Jean Smart & Hannah Einbinder

But no one called DIBS as hard as her “Hacks” co-star Hannah Einbinder. They already dream kissed in the show, so real life truly cannot be a stretch. (Yes, I know I know, very May-December.)

Quinta Brunson & Hannah Waddingham

Can Hannah resurrect her Shame Nun from Game of Thrones to shame Jimmy Kimmel for his disrespectful stunt during Quinta’s acceptance speech? Because, yeah.

Zendaya & HoYeon Jung

The future looks bright for young Hollywood. Now how about a “Squid Game” and “Euphoria” cross-over? I mean, the characters are all desperate and destructive in their own ways.

Lizzo & Zendaya

Joy. That’s all, just joy.

Christina Ricci & Reese Witherspoon

Are Christina’s Misty from “Yellowjackets” and Reese’s Tracy Flick from “Election” kind of spiritual twins? I mean, at least in the striving department. Possibly not the (possible) cannibalism. Also, props to Tawny for rooting for some good femslash between these two.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Truly, no award show is complete without our royal lesbian couple gracing the red carpet, now with a new pert alternative lifestyle haircut to boot. Also, there arrival marks our official transition into GGALGG land.

Hannah Einbinder & Her Afterparty Suit

Did I mention she changed into this after the awards? Because, yes.

And it encouraged her to perhaps cheat, respectfully, on Jean. Just a little. But then if The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri wanted a bear bug, you’d give one too.

Ariana DeBose & Everyone

Not to be out-gayed, Ariana indeed had a gay old time at the Emmys. Like schmoozing with Amanda Seyfried.

Or canoodling with Tracie Thoms and Rosario Dawson in a mini “Rent” movie reunion.

And how about this epic kibitzing with none other than RuPaul across the aisle.

Finally, there’s this. Possibly the gayest thing to happen at the Emmys. Ariana. Bowen Yang. Kate McKinnon. Like the only way it could have been gayer is if Sarah and Holland photobombed them. Oh well, goals for next year.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Suit Up, Ladies

Sandra Oh in a suit and tie. That’s it. That’s the post.

Fine, the other women on The Hollywood Reporter’s Emmy roundtable cover story look good in their suits, too. And, don’t worry, I see Sandra holding Christina Ricci’s hand. I see it.

Sting Like a Yellowjacket

Yellowjackets Hive, rise, RISE! So, unless you’ve been living under a rock or your plane crashed deep in the Canadian Rockies, you’ve probably heard about Showtime’s new cult-hit series “Yellowjackets.” The story of a championship high school soccer team who crash lands and then survives 19 months alone together in the wilderness is riveting to say the least. Also, there’s probably cannibalism. Think “Lord of the Flies” meets “Alive” meets “Jawbreaker/Mean Girls.”

Told in two concurrent timelines, directly after the crash and then 25 years later, the series has some of the best young actor to adult actor casting I’ve seen in quite some time. The adult cast includes a who’s who of Gen X actress excellence: Melanie Lynskey as adult Shauna, Juliette Lewis as adult Natalie, and Christina freaking Ricci as adult Misty. And their junior counterparts (Sophie Nélisse as young Shauna, Sophie Thatcher as young Natalie and Sammi Hanratty as young Misty) are no less impressive.

If you’ve watched you know the central mystery (well, mysteries) revolve around what actually happened out there in the woods. The repercussions of their survival still reverberate 25 years later. And, again, we haven’t even really gotten to the whole eating each other stuff yet.

In a way the frantic kinetic energy of “Yellowjackets” made the perfect foil to the raw pastoral calmness of “Station Eleven.” While their stories are clearly very different, their storytelling about the ending of the world — or at least the world as they knew it — both fall along Right After and Long After timelines. Both flash us to the present, while showing us how we got there. And both revolve around central female characters finding new ways to live amid unimaginable trauma.

Also, in another pleasantly unexpected parallel, Shauna from “Yellowjackets” and Kristen “Station Eleven” are perhaps the very definition of end-game Knife Girls. Like, it’d be a real competition to watch them field dress, say, a rabbit. Or an ex-lover.

The way their storytelling diverge also perfectly complements each series. “Station Eleven” is a limited series that ran just 10 episodes that told a carefully bookended apocalyptic tale about the power of art and the connections we make around it. “Yellowjackets” is a 10-episode-per-season series that has already been renewed for its sophomore turn and left us with so many tantalizing unanswered questions. Both those formats feel right. While obviously I would watch more “Station Eleven,” the symmetry of its beginning, middle and end (even through shifting timelines) feels right. Final. Whereas I can’t wait for more Yellowjackets madness, and the insane possibilities in this story.

Sting like a Yellowjacket

Now I know “Yellowjackets” technically started in 2021. The Showtime series debuted in late November, and has been unspooling episodes on Showtime ever since, with the finale set to air later in January. But in the crush of the end of the year, I didn’t have a chance to watch and I might have been saving it up to stream on a long winter’s night. Well, those nights have arrived and it’s time.

I’ve heard from a few critics who swear if this show was on a popular streamer like Netflix or Hulu it would be all people were talking about. The premise alone is amazing. A team of all-star high school soccer players flying to a tournament has their plane crash into the Canadian wilderness and aren’t rescued for almost a full year. We’re talking some serious “Lord of the Flies” meets Donner Party meets “Midsommar” vibes.

Now, 25 years later, the grown-up girls are still dealing with the repercussions of their struggle for survival. Did I mention it starts Christina Ricci, Juliette Lewis and Melanie Lynskey as the grown-up versions of the girls? Yeah, I know, what have I been waiting for? Obviously, I was just saving it up for a better year. So, fingers crossed on both counts.

Tank Top Tuesday: Tax Day Edition

Did you do your taxes? Do you still have to do your taxes? Tick tock. To make the day more palatable – because let’s face it even the most bleeding heart socialist money distributors among us don’t enjoy doing our taxes – here are a few little treats. Instead of staring at reams of white receipts, how about staring at some white tank tops. As Liz Hurley attests, this is the exact opposite of a flat tax. Ahem.

Christina Ricci

This makes me sad about “Pan Am.”

Amber HeardEvery time I see her, I have to remind myself that she likes girls – a lot.

Paula PattonShe should really be a bigger star. I mean, seriously.

Scarlett JohanssonA book and boobs a lovely, intelligent lady. My favorite.

Rosario DawsonThe saggy pants epidemic strikes again. Godspeed, Rosario.

Christina AquileraI still miss delightfully trashy Xtina Christina. But sassy judge Christina ain’t bad either.

Megan FoxForgive me, Internet, for I have sinned. I’ve posted another picture of Megan Fox on you. But, in my defense, tank top and aviators. Apologies.

Shania TwainI’m not really a country music fan. But who can be a music snob at a time like this.

Good luck making your peace with Uncle Sam today. I wonder if tank tops are tax deductible.

Crack open a good book

Every New Year, I make a resolution to read more. Not that I don’t read, clearly. I read every single day, all the time, non-fucking-stop. Newspapers, magazines, books, The Internets. But I don’t always read the best writing. And I don’t always read as many really great books as I’d like to. So this New Year, once again, I’m making a pledge to be good to myself and my brain and pick up some excellent books. They say print is dead, but you’ll never look as sexy holding a Kindle as you do a book – trust me.

Christina Ricci
Audrey Hepburn
Emily Haines
Marilyn Monroe
Evangeline Lilly
Marion Cotillard
Jessica Stam
Kate Winslet
Winona Ryder
Alyson HanniganWillow is my favorite book nerd, period.

So ladies, let me have it, what should I be reading this year?

Tank Top Tuesday: Burton’s Babes Edition

You know, I enjoyed “Alice in Wonderland.” Truth be told, I pretty much enjoy all Tim Burton films on one level or another. “Alice” was a good film, not a great film. It was fun, but without some of the wonder you'd expect Burton to bring to the land. But what I really liked were the women in the film (I know, I know – when don’t I like the women in a film?). I wasn’t familiar with Mia Wasikowska before the movie. I’d never seen “In Treatment” and just basically didn’t know her from Mia Hamm. But, oooh and doogie. Did she make an impression. Actually, I think it was her suit of armor that made an indelible impression. Say what you will, but Tim Burton has great taste in women. (Men, too, but – gosh – who doesn’t love Johnny Depp?)

Helena Bonham CarterAlice in Wonderland, Sweeney Todd, Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Big Fish, Planet of the Apes

Anne HathawayAlice in Wonderland

Christina RicciSleepy Hollow

Pam Grier

Mars Attacks!

Michelle Pfeiffer

Batman Returns

Marion CotillardBig Fish

Sarah Jessica ParkerEd Wood

Winona RyderBeetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands

Mia WasikowskaConsider this a bonus, like Armor Top Tuesday.